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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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After five years is asking for a commitment too much?
Q. I'm at the end of my tether guys! I see my boyfriend once a week and when we are together things are good. Thing is when we not I feel so lonely and miss him lots. We tried to get a mortgage together but can't for 4 years cos of ny financia...
A. 15 November 2013: Have a good cry, snuggle down and just wallow for a day or two or three. Then, get up, make yourself a nice breakfast with tea (or coffee, I'm partial to coffee) and… get on with your life, one day at a time. You'll be fine. In fact, you may be ... (read in full...)
After five years is asking for a commitment too much?
Q. I'm at the end of my tether guys! I see my boyfriend once a week and when we are together things are good. Thing is when we not I feel so lonely and miss him lots. We tried to get a mortgage together but can't for 4 years cos of ny financia...
A. 11 November 2013: Go get a copy of this book ASAP: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD.
For now, lay off the demands and clinginess and immerse yourself in learning about courtship and how yours is playing out.
You have made your expectations abundantly clear, n... (read in full...)
Was this some sort of revenge for breaking up?
Q. Yesterday an ex-lover sent me a text message and I simply replied. Then he called me and we began to have a conversation about our past. My ex finally gave me a chance to explain my side of the story about how we ended up going our separate ways. I ...
A. 19 October 2013: Why did he bother you? Because he needed some sex and some lovely life-affirming drama!... (read in full...)
I get intimate with guys too soon
Q. I have a tendency to meet a guy and get into his bed (not for sex but to mess around nude) by the second or third date. Usually not intentionally. Its like I flirt and want to kiss and stop there but guy wants more, I pity them and give in. For ...
A. 18 October 2013: Cool doesn't mean go out get drunk and flash men. That's attention-seeking behavior. Cool doesn't mean go out get drunk and give in. You need other things to do.
Here's a start: http://www.aauae.net
Here's a charity meet up: http://w... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 18 October 2013: Maybe he's afraid that if there's an issue with ending the marriage there will be an investigation into his finances, and he's fearful of that because his money wasn't earned legally? As in he's an embezzler or other type of white collar criminal, ... (read in full...)
Anyone else hate their husband's best friend?
Q. This is driving me crazy does anyone else hate there husbands or bfs best friend? I do and it sucks cause were stuck living with him only plus side is i love his gf. I need advice on how to deal with this. Were stuck living with him till we can g...
A. 18 October 2013: It sounds like you did have a baby, where is that child now? LIving with you and you your husband's best friend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pregnant-not-ready-for-a-child-but-cannot.html
And this is the husband? http... (read in full...)
Anyone else hate their husband's best friend?
Q. This is driving me crazy does anyone else hate there husbands or bfs best friend? I do and it sucks cause were stuck living with him only plus side is i love his gf. I need advice on how to deal with this. Were stuck living with him till we can g...
A. 18 October 2013: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-the-only-pregnant-woman-living-apart.html
Do you have other children? This is a very long and problematic relationship you have going on here.... (read in full...)
Anyone else hate their husband's best friend?
Q. This is driving me crazy does anyone else hate there husbands or bfs best friend? I do and it sucks cause were stuck living with him only plus side is i love his gf. I need advice on how to deal with this. Were stuck living with him till we can g...
A. 18 October 2013: I'm sorry, did you move across country to live with his best friend for 2 years? Was that the plan to start with? Wow.
Have you both looked for other jobs in the meantime to save up some money? If you are pregnant, you two need to be making prog... (read in full...)
Was this some sort of revenge for breaking up?
Q. Yesterday an ex-lover sent me a text message and I simply replied. Then he called me and we began to have a conversation about our past. My ex finally gave me a chance to explain my side of the story about how we ended up going our separate ways. I ...
A. 18 October 2013: Sorry but the love of your life IS a cheater and user and a manipulator. He knew he was in a relationship with another woman, he just needed some sex and you were alas, receptive.
Cut him off, go no contact and start a real mourning process for this... (read in full...)
In love with my married best friend, should I leave?
Q. Hi I am in a bit of a pickle. To be brief, I fell in love with my best friend. He is a married man with two children, he is in love with me too and we had an emotional affair. Nothing physical has happened between us. We are just agreeing to be b...
A. 18 October 2013: My vote is to stop contacting him and let the relationship end. You've said you are an introvert and don't make friends too easily. My guess is that you are not progressing in finding a life partner because you are hung up on this guy, who did ... (read in full...)
Anyone else hate their husband's best friend?
Q. This is driving me crazy does anyone else hate there husbands or bfs best friend? I do and it sucks cause were stuck living with him only plus side is i love his gf. I need advice on how to deal with this. Were stuck living with him till we can g...
A. 18 October 2013: Okay, I guess this question isn't really resonating with the aunts. I have never had to live with a friend who I hated, so I can't relate.
I guess maybe he resents your living with him and rather than take it out on your husband he's picking on y... (read in full...)
I think that fact that I want to stray is telling me something about my current relationship
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilemma here and not sure what to do? I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years now and I thought that everything was great. But, recently my ex girlfriend got in touch with me. Me and my ex dated nearly 6 years ago for ...
A. 18 October 2013: You just said that everything is great in your relationship, except for the sex, which your girlfriend doesn't want and apparently doesn't enjoy, as she's not a
"massive fan"…. read she HATES sex with you.
So everything is NOT great in your rel... (read in full...)
I get intimate with guys too soon
Q. I have a tendency to meet a guy and get into his bed (not for sex but to mess around nude) by the second or third date. Usually not intentionally. Its like I flirt and want to kiss and stop there but guy wants more, I pity them and give in. For ...
A. 18 October 2013: The only thing in town that is open is clubs? No schools? No art studios? No food pantries or food banks or hospitals or animal shelters or parks or gyms or arts centers or science centers or United Way charities or volunteer centers? Just clubs?
W... (read in full...)
Do I struggle to stay and finish my course and graduate with my friends or do I take a year off? Help!
Q. I need some serious honest advice, i'm having to make the biggest decision and I'm stuck. My whole life plan has been ruined by something major and I didn't prepare myself for the outcome of changing plans. I had an accident over summer which mea...
A. 18 October 2013: Friends are wonderful and special but they should not determine your educational life. You can make new best friends, you know, in addition to the old ones, and you could graduate with a whole new slew of best friends. So "graduating with friends" ... (read in full...)
Are girls turned off by an ugly penis??
Q. I used to masturbate very much, and this caused my penis to have some dark spots on it. Because Iam tan, it appeared that the spots are post inflammatory hyperpigmentaion. Iam virgin, but had oral sex couples times before it happened. My question ...
A. 18 October 2013: You've had oral sex and have some odd spots? Definitely go see your doctor to make sure it's not something that should be dealt with before you are sexually intimate with a woman again.
And just to add to the other aunts's answers, women don't tend... (read in full...)
Why am I so nervous that he wont like how I look?
Q. I am a nervous wreck. I met this man in my work uniform, we hit it off. I am a chunky girl. He went away for about six months and we kept contact. He is back in the states, and wants to see me. Why am I so nervous that he wont like how I look? He ...
A. 18 October 2013: If you are pretty girl, go with that. If he likes you the way you are, great, if he's expecting Twiggy (google her) then he'll be disappointed. Good news is that he's met you already and has some idea of what you look like.
Put on your conf... (read in full...)
I feel like being with him just makes life harder
Q. Hello, It's me again. I feel at my wits end! My husband still has no job. I feel like I am in this marriage by myself! Relationships are supposed to help your life, not make it harder. I feel like being with him makes my life much harder. I get no ...
A. 18 October 2013: If he takes his anger out on you and the children in an abusive way, then it is time to remove him from the house. They will be safer and grow up healthier without an abusive man in the equation. Sorry. '
If he just gets a bit annoyed and stom... (read in full...)
Will he become a stalker? Should I be worried?
Q. Hello all, I am going through some changes with a man and was hoping to get some good advice. I don’t know if I should be concerned or what??? I met him at work. We don’t work in the same department but our departments cross every now and then. In...
A. 17 October 2013: I would be afraid of Gary and I would go TOMORROW to Human Resources and show them the stalking he's done.
I would be afraid of Gary and if he sent a text again on my phone, I would reply "I don't know who the F*CK you are but I am telling you to l... (read in full...)
After five years is asking for a commitment too much?
Q. I'm at the end of my tether guys! I see my boyfriend once a week and when we are together things are good. Thing is when we not I feel so lonely and miss him lots. We tried to get a mortgage together but can't for 4 years cos of ny financia...
A. 17 October 2013: Nope, you are not asking too much! So why are you settling for so little?
Move on, move on.
And take steps to deal with your financial problems so they don't hold you back in the next relationship, which will be with a guy who isn't still married ... (read in full...)
He's withholding emotionally and romantically.... Advice please??
Q. My bf and I have been together 3 years. We're both in our early to mid 30's. We don't live together but usually spend weekends together and sometimes during the week if we can work it out. He used to be emotionally/physically available to me until ...
A. 17 October 2013: I don't understand why you haven't just ended this troubled relationship. You aren't happy, he isn't happy, neither of you seem to be able to communicate with the other in a productive and constructive way. Resentment has been building on both ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't approve of male roommate
Q. I found a perfect apartment that has the perfect location , amazing price, and what seems like a great roommate from Craigslist. Only problem, my boyfriend absolutely hates the idea that I want to move in with a guy who I barely knew. I understand ...
A. 16 October 2013: Do a background check on the potential roommate, call his references, if he hasn't given you any, ask for them now. If you have declined this apartment and roommate already then do that for the next one. Be prepared to do the same thing in return, ... (read in full...)
My Bf has not told his parents that we live together. His mother wants to visit him. How do I get through this?
Q. Hi!! I'm kind of stuck at the moment. I'm chinese born and raised here. My boyfriend and I are the same religion Hindus. He's from the states as well but born in London. His parents are also in the USA. So my question is. My boyfriend and Iive ...
A. 16 October 2013: If you are in your 30s you are an official grown up. It's time to act like one and tell people the truth about your lives, and that includes his parents.
Lying, covering up, pretending are the games of children who are ashamed of their acti... (read in full...)
Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 16 October 2013: Yes, how is the pregnancy? And what did your fiance/boyfriend suggest you do to deal with the ex anyway? It would seem to me to be a good thing to get his support with this.
... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 16 October 2013: There's really nothing confusing about this. He's not able for whatever reason to give you the relationship you want. The relationship is 5 months old with the last 2 months being problematic and the last month is pfffft nothing.
You are hang... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who is 9 years younger than me? I'm 28 and he's 19
Q. Im 28 years old and newly single, i'd rather stay single for a while to be honest but someones interested in me. The problem.is hes only 19 that is way too young for me but my friend doean't think so. I dont feel comfortable about that age gap but ...
A. 16 October 2013: If it doesn't feel right to you to date him then why are you allowing someone else to set your boundaries?
Say no, hold firm to your feelings and
let
it
go.
... (read in full...)
How can I ignore an ex boyfriend that I work with?
Q. How can i ignore an ex boyfriend!!! We only dated for a few months, but i cant get him out of my head. I found out he was cheating on me and he was texting alot of other girls too, so i dumped him. But he keeps contacting me all the time for 'one...
A. 16 October 2013: Have you tried ignoring his texts?
This isn't all that difficult, if you really want to end things.
Just don't respond to him. Sign up a friend as a text buddy and text her/him instead.
Here is a radical idea.
Hand over your phone to a good ... (read in full...)
He says he has "proof" even when he doesn't. Need help, fast!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We're in our early-mid 30's. Every once in awhile he will accuse me of cheating and claiming he has "proof" when I know he doesn't. This morning at 7am he text me and asked me who the hell I was texting. I ...
A. 15 October 2013: Did he apologize for flying off the handle and assuming you were cheating?
I don't like the sound of this guy. He sounds twitchy and troubled. I'd back way off.... (read in full...)
He says his sub character came out and started chatting to his son's girlfriend! Does he have mental issues?
Q. ive come accross something that i dont understand, maybe someone who is good and understands phsycology might be able to put some undertsanding to this type of beahviour. Will try and be as brief as i can, im left completley confused so here it ...
A. 15 October 2013: Let's pretend for a second that he actually has a sub character over which he has no control. This is a mental disorder and he needs to be in therapy AND the people around him need to be warned that he is not safe to trust, that he has an alter-ego ... (read in full...)
If you tell your lover what you need and they don't even make an effort to hear you is it time to leave?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years is not demonstrative about his feelings for me. I like getting the occasional text or phone call, especially when I am ill or he knows I am having a tough time. I have tried calmly telling him how I feel. That intimacy to...
A. 15 October 2013: I think the short answer is that for men, sex is the emotional connection to their lover. Some don't understand that many women need more emotional connection OUTSIDE the bedroom. Try to explain that to him, that you feel less connected to him, ... (read in full...)
How to discuss family asset's without upsetting anyone?
Q. So my husband and I are not really having a problem so much as just needing advice, words of wisdom, etc. I was having lunch with my husband and his brother's girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant with his brother's child (obviously). My ...
A. 14 October 2013: I'd say something like this: "Gloria, gosh, what an awkward and unusual question. FIL is not dead, is not dying and is nowhere near dying. Maybe this is something you discuss freely in your family but in this one, it's considered poor manners and ... (read in full...)
Can you sue someone for giving you an STD?
Q. Can you sue someone for giving you an STD? My ex boyfriend has contacted me, to say that he recently ejaculated blood and that if he has an STD he will be suing me. I haven't had a check-up for a few months, but last time I went to the doctors ...
A. 13 October 2013: Document everything. Save all phone records, texts, social media messages, all messaging of any type from him.
Report the threats to damage your car to police.
If he threatens to kill himself again, contact police so he can be taken into protecti... (read in full...)
If a girl is just not interested why make excuses for putting things off
Q. There is a girl I like. We went out once. Ever since then whenever I causally ask her out she keeps making excuses. Some I can believe like she says "Friday is her family day." And other excuses like that. The one she uses a lot though is that she ...
A. 13 October 2013: Sometimes saying "no" to a guy who doesn't seem to get the hint feels like kicking a puppy. You get the sweet smile with the hopeful happy eyes, almost a tail wag and it feels so mean to discourage him by saying "No! Off! Leave it!" The thought of ... (read in full...)
My friend forced me to makeout, how do I get over this guilt? I can't tell my boyfriend!
Q. Please help Recently I made a dumb impulsive decision to let a friend of mine drop me off in his car. His shocking colors came to picture when he insisted to kiss me and makeout. I refused for making out but he started insisting and wouldnt drop...
A. 11 October 2013: You sound a bit like you are wallowing in guilt for some reason. You trusted a friend to give you a lift, that's nothing odd or strange. Your friend becomes a rabid nightmare.
You said you couldn't resist because of the danger of being forced out ... (read in full...)
Any insight on why he disappeared?
Q. So here's my story, a guy i know since childhood but havent seen since years starts to hit on me and gets in touch for several weeks before things turned romantic. Since we live in different countries we were basicly texting all the time. At some ...
A. 11 October 2013: I would write him off as a guy who is a sexual creep. He's not romantic, he's focused on sex. You saw him still as the guy you knew from childhood but he's now the pervert who lives in another country. I'd be thankful it didn't get further than that ... (read in full...)
After two years, he doesn't want kids. This is a different kind of rejection--I am devastated.
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for two years now. The topic of kids has been a back and forth issue for us--it's a stereotype, but here we go- I want children, and always have--he doesn't. He recently made that abundantly clear. After two...
A. 11 October 2013: Well, the good news is that you know now that he doesn't want kids ever, so you can make that big scary life leap and move on. He's not your life partner, unless you are looking for a life partner you can blame forever for not having kids?
It soun... (read in full...)
I think my friend is flirting with me, but I'm not quite so sure. Opinions?
Q. So, I need your guys' opinions on this. So, I think my friend is flirting with me, but I'm not quite so sure. So, I'll tell you guys some of the stuff he does, and you guys give me your opinion. Please, and thank you. Oh and I do like him, i just ...
A. 10 October 2013: How old is this guy? He sounds about 13 or 14.... (read in full...)
How do I gain my boyfriend's trust again? How do I prove I won't cheat?
Q. How to gain my bf's trust on me again? I been together with my bf for almost 3 years, he has always been the jealous type. But he recently found out that just before we stated to go out I had a started texting a married guy who is a player an...
A. 10 October 2013: I asked that question about the eggshells because I think you have found yourself in a relationship that is abusive.
Ask what he expects to see, step by step. If he says he doesn't know, that it's up to you to figure out, then he's controlling you ... (read in full...)
How do I gain my boyfriend's trust again? How do I prove I won't cheat?
Q. How to gain my bf's trust on me again? I been together with my bf for almost 3 years, he has always been the jealous type. But he recently found out that just before we stated to go out I had a started texting a married guy who is a player an...
A. 10 October 2013: You could lock yourself up in a room and never speak to anyone ever again. That should do it.
As EWO points out, the only 'proof' of being faithful will be with time.
Are you walking on eggshells with him?... (read in full...)
What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?
Q. When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...
A. 9 October 2013: Are you proposing that she "settle down" and marry her boyfriend and start having children to make you happy? To give you grandchildren?
Has there ever been a set age? I'm older than you are, and I don't remember ever having a specific guid... (read in full...)
Should I wait or call for an answer? Are we or aren't we broken up?
Q. After my non-acceptance or being able to make sense of the sexy, lets see where this will lead communication between my boyfriend and his old colleague... he still has not contacted me. NOR has he broken up officially. Is his silence an indicati...
A. 9 October 2013: Hey, they're out there, I know.
Maybe your radar needs some adjusting, if you keep ending up with the jerks. Something to consider seeing a therapist about?
Best wishes as you go through the healing process.... (read in full...)
Why do guys want the lights on, or my shirt off, during sex?
Q. Hi peoples! Not to prescribe to stereotypes or anything, but it seems like every guy I've been with always says "I want to see you" when I say I want to keep my shirt on during sex or want the lights turned off. Anyone else notice this or w...
A. 9 October 2013: You're being appreciated. Maybe you aren't comfortable with your body and being fully exposed, it's a pretty vulnerable place. My advice is to go to bed only with a man you know well and trust, that may help avert that feeling.... (read in full...)
I have yellow nails from my parent's smoking!
Q. Hi. Both my parents smoke (roughly 5-a-day each). They smoke outside or in the porch with the door open. Recently I have noticed I hav been getting yellow nails no one else has at home because I have the longest nails. I don't smoke! What can I...
A. 9 October 2013: I found this at prevention.com:
Yellow Nails
The clue: As the name suggests, your nails will have a subtle or dramatic yellow tinge.
What it means: It could be a number of things, from nail fungus, to psoriasis, to stains from smoking. On a li... (read in full...)
Should I try to start something with a crush that works at my school?
Q. I'm 17 and in year 13 at school, I've had a crush on a member of staff that works at the school, however he's not my teacher, he just works in the school as a social helper, he's about 22 I think and we do talk quite a lot. I'm not sure on what to ...
A. 8 October 2013: So is this his career or just a volunteer job?... (read in full...)
Should I try to start something with a crush that works at my school?
Q. I'm 17 and in year 13 at school, I've had a crush on a member of staff that works at the school, however he's not my teacher, he just works in the school as a social helper, he's about 22 I think and we do talk quite a lot. I'm not sure on what to ...
A. 8 October 2013: I don't know what a 'social helper' is in a UK school? Can the OP or someone enlighten me?... (read in full...)
Should I wait or call for an answer? Are we or aren't we broken up?
Q. After my non-acceptance or being able to make sense of the sexy, lets see where this will lead communication between my boyfriend and his old colleague... he still has not contacted me. NOR has he broken up officially. Is his silence an indicati...
A. 8 October 2013: Reading your followup, I would proceed on the assumption that you are broken up, because he knows he's been caught having an affair. An emotional affair, perhaps, but still.
He said he valued honesty and would never reject you because that is what... (read in full...)
Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 8 October 2013: What do you think should happen? They get a fine? They go to prison? They are forced to feel miserable for x amount of time?
The best revenge is to live your life and be happy. Don't live in the past, that's just depressing.
How's the pregnanc... (read in full...)
I have yellow nails from my parent's smoking!
Q. Hi. Both my parents smoke (roughly 5-a-day each). They smoke outside or in the porch with the door open. Recently I have noticed I hav been getting yellow nails no one else has at home because I have the longest nails. I don't smoke! What can I...
A. 8 October 2013: It you are putting on and removing nail polish all the time because if the school policy, then the yellowing is likely the remnants of your nail polish.
If you are not doing that, see the doctor! ... (read in full...)
Why do guys want the lights on, or my shirt off, during sex?
Q. Hi peoples! Not to prescribe to stereotypes or anything, but it seems like every guy I've been with always says "I want to see you" when I say I want to keep my shirt on during sex or want the lights turned off. Anyone else notice this or w...
A. 7 October 2013: Men are visually stimulated, which means they like to look. It fires the pleasure centers in their brain. It's basic physiology for them. I don't wonder why at all. They are not judging when they look, they are appreciating and enjoying and are ... (read in full...)
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