Is he wasting my time? Am I kidding myself, for considering that one day he may want to get married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend (hate that word at my age) for almost 2 years, he moved in with me a little over a year ago. A while back we had a conversation about commitment type things and he said he had a four year rule, that he wouldn't...
A. 2 April 2016: OP: Nobody needs to chide you for how you feel about this incident.... so, please, try to be a little more accommodating to the comments you've received.
On the other hand.... you are JUST 44 (Y.O.).. a veritable baby, relative to how long you... (read in full...)
Unfinished business? Should I leave my current GF for an ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been going out with my current girlfriend for roughly 5 months now, and everything was going fine, until my ex recently came back on the scene. I had a strong connection with my ex and we were each others best friends. I do n...
A. 1 April 2016: The manner in which you describe your feelings for either - or, both - of these women "tells" me that even YOU don't know how you feel about the two of them.....
Considering that... you might as well flip a coin, or roll dice.... and let that gui... (read in full...)
How can I stand tall this time without letting him back into my life?
Q. Hello and thanks for your help. I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years. His attitude isn't good to say the least. He dictates how long I need to stay when I'm with him. If I can only stay a couple hours he argues. He wants me to cons...
A. 30 March 2016: THIS: "....I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years. His attitude isn't good to say the least. He dictates...." "tells" me that you are wasting your time with this guy. Move on....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to feel uncomfortable? Everyone has a past, but my boyfriend keeps dropping bombshells
Q. I have had a wonderful few months with my boyfriend but he just keeps dropping bombshells. The first was about a one night stand he had in his unhappy marriage two years ago which he regretted. Then he told me he uses alcohol as an emotiona...
A. 30 March 2016: Only you can determine how may "bombshells" you can endure before you yell "Uncle"........
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is he wasting my time? Am I kidding myself, for considering that one day he may want to get married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend (hate that word at my age) for almost 2 years, he moved in with me a little over a year ago. A while back we had a conversation about commitment type things and he said he had a four year rule, that he wouldn't...
A. 30 March 2016: "Putting off" (decisions) is not the same a "putting out".
Putting off is guys' way of experiencing women putting out... without having to make - or stick to - any sort of comittment to a relationship.....
Armed with this critical informa... (read in full...)
Is it wise to confront him with all that I have found out about him in contact with his ex? We have been together for 12 years
Q. I have been with this man for 12 years I just recently found out that he has been paying for his ex bills though their kids are grown Found out Thur text on his phone with texting and calling each on it the daily found text where they are send...
A. 30 March 2016: Be sure to accumulate all the evidence you can find about all the B/S that has been going on... (Oooops,... you're not married, are you?..)
Then, walk away from him and get on with your life...
Good luck.
P.S. Maybe you live in a stat... (read in full...)
Can someone who cheated on their partner ever gain self-respect again as a person, whether they decide to stay or end the relationship?
Q. My morals are the one thing I always prided myself in having. I rarely lied (even then I can't flat out lie, more like white lies or divert the answer), obedient to parents (never sneaked out etc.), I don't curse, and I have a strong faith in God, I ...
A. 30 March 2016: I asked my friend Bill Clinton about this, and he said that he didn't even consider morals anything more than a "speed bump" in his road to self-satisfaction......
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I so want to date but never get asked!
Q. I feel embarassed just typing this, but well... I am 22 year old, college student, I am outgoing, I have a lot of friends and I am quite popular with them. I am tomboyish as in "loving sports, fights and cars" but you wouldn't tell from the w...
A. 28 March 2016: Wanna try a fun experiment? To wit:
"...but you wouldn't tell from the way I looked apart from the short hair..." Get a wig (they're not that expensive... or borrow one from a friend).... wear that, sometime, and see what happens....
Good lu... (read in full...)
How much does dating actually cost?
Q. So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...
A. 27 March 2016: When I was poor, I often took girls on dates in the back seat of my 1956 Pontiac.... out to Makeout Point, where we watched the submarine races......
Lately, now that I'm rich, dates consist of ..... ooops, I forgot... still out to Makeout ... (read in full...)
Why would he seem into me and then dump me and accuse me of something I didn't do?
Q. Dear Cupid; I recently met a man from an on-line dating site. After our first meet and greet, he said he really liked me and would like to pursue a relationship and said how about if we both delete our dating profiles, which we both did. We w...
A. 27 March 2016: Don't waste another neuron of mental energy on this guy. He's made it perfectly clear that there's not going to be anything between the two of you.... Find a better B/F....
Good luck..... (read in full...)
This new guy is generally nice but very strange at times
Q. help!! This new guy that i am seeing is generally a nice sweet guy, but he is weird in a way that he denies when i ask him not to do anything or change, basically everything. For example, he has a habit early in a morning create a horrend...
A. 27 March 2016: Jump over that verge.... and get on with your life. This guy is not very polite and/or accomodating....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I feel like the rebound...
Q. Ok so I've been chatting online to a guy for the past 3 months casually enough but then we decided to have our first date, that's about 6 weeks ago now and we're now on date 14. I'm a very shy and insecure person so this is a massive step for me. H...
A. 25 March 2016: There's really no reason to ask, "...will I ever feel good enough???...." because that's not germane to the issue.
The REAL issue is that this guy continues to carry the torch for his ex-.... so he really isn't available to you - or any other wo... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend said I was too comfortable in the relationship
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he felt I was too comfortable in the relationship and Those were his own words. In a way I kind of saw where he was coming from, but for the most par lt I don't really understand. He and I always said thin...
A. 25 March 2016: I'll help you interpret this "guy-talk"....
When a guy sez that a girl (you) '... are too comfortable in your(s) relationship..." it REALLY MEANS, "I'm about to break off things with you.... and I don't have a real reason (or, another girl has... (read in full...)
How do I tell this woman I've had second thoughts?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid Aunts and Uncles How is everyone? Okay, so here's my story... I am and always have been a bit of a cheeky chappy as my name says. I stop and talk to everyone. I've got time for everyone. It's just my nature and I think it...
A. 25 March 2016: I have two comments:
1. You "sound" terribly concerned with others' perception of you. Not necessary. Love yourself - and who you are - and pay no mind to WHAT YOU PERCEIVE TO BE "others' perception"....
2. You (and she?) made a date. P... (read in full...)
Am I too uptight with saving intimacy until later? Does this turn men off and was it a mistake to visit his home?
Q. I posted last week and would appreciate further advice. I went on 7 dates with a great guy and we communicated daily. The last date, I went to his place and we made out but I was clear in not wanting to go further just yet. At the end of the evening ...
A. 24 March 2016: It's not a question of your "being too uptight"... but, instead, was a breach of the "three date" rule... which states..... "By that time a guy has had three (3) dates with a girl, she should be putting out."
As it happens, this guy was extremel... (read in full...)
Can a man be too romantic? That's why my girlfriend broke up with me
Q. Hi,am thirty five,an my girlfriend just broke up with me,after six months,I treated her really good, she said the reason for breaking up with me is, am to romantic,am not a challenge, should I just move on,or try to win her back....
A. 22 March 2016: move on. She needs/wants a guy who will mistreat her....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Am I too boring to ever get a girlfriend?
Q. Lately I've been thinking about future relationships and stuff, and it's just hit me that even if I did get a girlfriend, I would have no idea what to do with her. I do not like the bar or club scene at all. I cannot and do not like to dance...
A. 20 March 2016: Frankly, that schedule you keep damn near put me to sleep before I finished reading it!!!!!
YOU can "do" whatever you darn well please, in life! (Assuming you'll be doing "legal" things....)
Don't worry... some cute girl is going to catch y... (read in full...)
He moved in with his online girlfriend. We had such an intense connection, surely that hasn't gone away for him if he's contacting me and it feels like it used to?
Q. I started dating someone in early December.Things went on for nearly two months. It was magic. Incredible conversation, passionate intimacy - you name it. We were instantly drawn to each other, it was a ridiculous "love at first sight" type of ...
A. 20 March 2016: "...I don't know what to make of this. I'm quite sure that I'm in love with him. Why would he even bother contacting me for 'coffee' or whatever, considering the intense nature of the relationship we had? We were never friends, and it's obvious we ... (read in full...)
They don’t push their son to do anything, and it feels like such a waste! What should I do?
Q. I know the first response to this question might be that it's none of my business, but any helpful suggestions will be appreciated! I know a couple, both 40 ( and 8 years older than me) and they have a 10 year old son. It seems like they really...
A. 20 March 2016: What is YOUR stake in this matter?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated and left me, so why do I feel guilty?
Q. I need some help. Basically, my ex boyfriend cheated on me and ended up dumping me in order to be with the girl he cheated with. Now he didn't do this in a 'mean' way, he just seem very confused. He was still trying to make our relationship wor...
A. 20 March 2016: 1. "...why do I feel guilty?",...
2. " Why do I feel like it's my fault that he did the things he did?"....
3. "That I didn't have what it took to make him stay and be happy? When we talked after our break up, he made me feel guilty ..."
4. "...an... (read in full...)
Are we banned from this theatre?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were in the movie theater and i sat on his lap and we made out. However, an employee walked by and he said its okay to do that. But he had told the manager and so when the manager got us, he said we were having sex. We were ...
A. 19 March 2016: The two of you each paid for (seat) tickets in that theater. You didn't do anything that encroached on the seats around you..... (I'm assuming that you didn't moan or scream, during the act!).... So, who's to say that you can't return (to that ... (read in full...)
I found my cheating ex on a dating site again
Q. So I met a man across the country who lives in Seattle (I live in the east coast). He remained faithful for almost 2 years and before I flew out to see him I found out he was still on date sites and had dated several and hooked up with 2 (no sex). I ...
A. 18 March 2016: This guy "sounds" like all words and no action. He's a charlatan, and you're being naive to believe that he's anything but..
Protect yourself....(that is, watch out for YOUR interests, first)... and get away from him.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Who should pay more?
Q. My bf and I are living together, and I just got a job. MY Mother was helping with the expenses until now. I will be making 25,000 a year which is 2,083 a month. And my bf makes 40,000 a year. He wants to split all the expenses in half, but I ...
A. 18 March 2016: DON'T co-mingle funds until/unless you and he are married.......
Pay to rent and utilities in proportion to your incomes... that's fair....
If you and he can't work out this - "business" - arrangement... imagine what might happen if you an... (read in full...)
Why does my on-again, off-again BF behave this way?
Q. I am here to try and understand why my on-again, off-again BF behaves this way. After months of trying to talk to him about issues, I gave up, stepped back and started doing my own thing. Issues ranged from how we would see each other once a mon...
A. 16 March 2016: This guy is playing you like an inexpensive violin, bought from a used-instruments store.
HOW LONG do you want to let him keep impacting YOUR life???? (Since you, clearly, aren't impacting his???)???
Grow up, dump him from your life..... (read in full...)
Can I do anything to help? My dad is in a very controlling relationship. And I don't know what to do.
Q. He's been with her for 15 years. I was 20 when they met, so I was off in college and on my own after that doing my own thing so I never had much interaction with them except when I'd come to visit periodically on short visits. Like for a weekend a ...
A. 16 March 2016: Let your Dad live his life; you live your life... and never the twain shall meet....
WHY would you let your Father's (and his "gal-pal's") relationship have ANY impact upon YOUR life??????
Grow up!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
We can have a family - but only if he gets his dreams first. What to do?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost seven years. We got engaged a year ago but no plans on a wedding yet. Over the years we have talked about children - we discussed it very early on that it was something we both wanted. Over the last year or so ...
A. 16 March 2016: Let me help you with "guy-speak"......
"'lets have a baby' in a very sweet way..." and, " he has all these dreams and wants to do them before having children..." ... and much/most of the rest of what you submitted Really "say"....
I like to hav... (read in full...)
I don’t know why I don’t want to have sex! What can I do?
Q. I've been in a relationship for a year now with my boyfriend and i love him very much and i am sexually attracted to him. We haven't had sex for over a month because i don't want to, i don't know why. I find it annoying when he touches me and hate ...
A. 16 March 2016: Release him... STOP egging him on... when YOU aren't, really, interested in being intimate with him....
Are you sure that you are not gay? A woman-friend might be just what you need.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
He never initiates! Is he into me?
Q. I've been dating a great guy for two months. He texts me every day and is very sweet. We have gone out on some dates but usually only on weekends. I mentioned wanting to spend a bit more time with him more than once a week and he thought that was ...
A. 16 March 2016: Dump him. He's not in to YOU as much as YOU are in to HIM......
There's no future for you with this, indifferent, guy...
Good luck... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the disruption of my BF's mate? The mate visits us almost every evening?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years we have a son together. We are happy apart from the fact we get no time together because of his mate. My boyfriend finishes work. I have tea ready, then halfway through eating it his mate turns u...
A. 15 March 2016: You tell B/F: "Hunchy-Bunchy, this mate of your's is getting to be a right-royal pain in the a$$.... and I - for one - don't intend to keep him in my life as much as he seems to think he's entitled to be.... So you, Hunchy-Bunchy, need to sit him ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend's ex just will not let go. Shall I attend the wedding we're both invited to, or stay away?
Q. My boyfriend is taking me to a wedding and his ex, who is Very much clearly still in love with him, will be there. Should I go to this wedding? I don't want to end up causing a scene. FYI, my boyfriend has told her to move on and that they won...
A. 15 March 2016: You go to the wedding.... and behave like a Lady... and that is the end of that.....
If "B/F's" ex- makes an a$$ of herself... then you will know - even better - what a delightful woman you are....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to offer something from my Mom’s estate to my brother’s ex-wife?
Q. Help someone, Thanks you to all who help here. My mom died.three years ago.My sister and I went.through boxes of things that belonged to mom....I have some China which will help me to remember my mom. My brother and his wife split a decade ago....
A. 15 March 2016: If you're the executrix of your Mom's estate.... and, if you believe that the ex- rather covets something of and from her ex-M-I-Law (even moreso than your siblings might) ..... then pass the stuff along to her, and turn a deaf ear to whatever ... (read in full...)
I am in a lifeless relationship!
Q. I feel as though I'm in a lifeless, passionless, boring relationship with my long term boyfriend. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. At first it was exciting and very passionate. But time took its toll and that passion has been lost. Ou...
A. 15 March 2016: Time to trade him in on a new boyfriend......... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 15 March 2016: jrage: Men think of women much as we think of potato chips. It's hard to eat (have) just one.... and, once one package is empty, it's easy to go and get another....
THAT "explains" why this guy acts as he does..
Good luck to your friend....... (read in full...)
He's my boss and ten years older. Should I end the relationship?
Q. Basically, I am 19 and in university I work part time and for a while I really hated my boss, I met him on a night out one night and seen a side of him that I didn't see in work (a side I liked). At first I thought I was just having a crush bu...
A. 14 March 2016: Getting "too close" to a "boss" usually ends up in disaster... and the subordinate gets the short end of the stick.....
Go for it, if you wish... but know that the odds are NOT in your favor!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Please help me. I need advice. I feel like my professor dislikes me.
Q. A month ago, my History professor gave us an assignment and he showed us a really good example that we could no longer use. He dismissed class and stayed at his desk and my friend and I began to walk to another building on campus. Throughout...
A. 12 March 2016: AS time goes on.... you'll learn that the entire World does NOT revolve around you....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and my mom hate each other!! Are my Mom's expectations reasonable?
Q. I have a big big issue. My mom and boyfriend don't like each other at all. My mom thinks my bf is rude and doesn’t like her, and he thinks she's annoying, and rude. Yes it is true that my mom can be very annoying, at times but there isn’t real...
A. 12 March 2016: "Relationships" which have more than TWO (2) people in them are tenuous/stressful, at best......
YOU and BOYFRIEND need to sit down and decide HOW MANY people there are in YOUR (and HIS) relationship.
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is this friends with benefits or what?
Q. Hey everyone, im going to try and make this as short as possible. I’m 22 and I recently got out of the most horrible relationship I have ever been in 7 months ago. I started talking to this guy in September we have hung out a few times since th...
A. 12 March 2016: "... He’s not like most guys I’ve met..."
We guys depend upon you ladies to say - and think - this.... so we can be a$$es, just as your "ex-" was....
Women with short memories repeat and repeat their mistakes by saying, " He’s not like most gu... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 12 March 2016: "... if so, why?"
Because SHE is acting dumb enough to let him get away with it.... Her risk is breathtaking..... knocked down in rank, expunged from the service... BOTH her career AND life a mess.....
All she can do is try to MINIMIZE the ... (read in full...)
Seven months dating and her dad is talking about how much say he will have in marriage
Q. My girlfriend's parents are painfully overbearing and it's caused serious stress with me, her, and this relationship. I've been going out with this girl for 7 months now, I'm 19, she's 18. For the entirety of the relationship it's been one roadblo...
A. 10 March 2016: When you wrote: "....with him having the final say in everything we do. And she's completely okay with all of it." ...you told us all we need to know about your "problem".
IF "...she's completely okay with all of it." really DOES apply...... (read in full...)
We need to plan for our future but talking about it makes partner anxious.
Q. Dear cupid, I have a multifaceted question about relationships and midlife crisis and men and women maturing at different rates. I have been married for 8 years together for 18. We are reaching a point in our relationship where I want to take our...
A. 10 March 2016: I always struggle with submittals which include the likes of "next level" ... and "move forward"... as if life is a wagon train, moving west from St Louis, and Ward Bond is supposed to be there to make sure everything is "copascetic."
OP: You and... (read in full...)
Heartbroken over my ex. Why is his new girlfriend taking revenge this way?
Q. I am so heart broken right now. I was with my ex for 3 years. We've been through a lot together, we loved and sacrificed for each other. We were there for each other through thick and thin. The only thing was we always argued about every little t...
A. 10 March 2016: You give us a long-winded description of a "relationship" that sounded like quite a struggle for you (and him)...
Then, you describe what has happened in his life... and how it causes your anguish.... and, THEN, you write:
"She posted t... (read in full...)
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