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Why would he seem into me and then dump me and accuse me of something I didn't do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2016)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid;

I recently met a man from an on-line dating site. After our first meet and greet, he said he really liked me and would like to pursue a relationship and said how about if we both delete our dating profiles, which we both did.

We went on one other date but a day or two later he got really sick and said he thought he had mono or strep throat, so we didn't see each other but stayed in touch.

He was finally feeling better and we set up another date but the day of the date he texted me and said he wasn't into games and that I was liar and a friend of his found me on a dating site (which I'm not). I tried to call him, but he wouldn't take my call and I tried texting him but he wouldn't respond.

I'm confused what would make someone who seemed into me to dump me and accuse me of something I didn't do.

View related questions: liar, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2016):

I've been single for sometime now and have dated several men and all I can say is there are a lot of flaky men out there and probably women too. Chances are you'll never find out the truth of what turned him off so fast. I say move on, keep dating different men and eventually you'll find someone worth your time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone for you responses. I was seeing red flags, he said his last relationship ended because of who she voted for, I thought he was kidding, but now I don't think he was.

Happy Easter!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 March 2016):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntDon't waste another neuron of mental energy on this guy. He's made it perfectly clear that there's not going to be anything between the two of you.... Find a better B/F....

Good luck..

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (27 March 2016):

Ciar agony auntI think his suggestion that you both delete your profiles after one date was a red flag.

He hardly knew you, you'd only met once, yet his friend (who presumably knew you even less than he did) somehow found a profile that, without a photo, he knew to be you. Highly suspicious.

Like Honeypie, I also believe his accusation is smoke and mirrors. He didn't know how to get out of his premature commitment to you without looking or feeling like the bad guy (strep throat and mono only go so far) so he concocted this nonsense to try to make you look like the bad guy.

My suggestion is you block and delete this clown and make no further attempts to contact him for any reason. In the event that he comes sniffing around again, he should have no means of reaching you.

Something you should understand is women generally get far more attention on these sites than men do. So when a man asks this early to make it exclusive it's because he isn't getting the offers or the takers he imagines you're getting. If he had 10 gorgeous, fun, intelligent women pursuing him (or accepting his pursuit) he wouldn't give them all up so quickly to settle down with one. What he's doing is akin to calling dibs so that no one else can have you while he makes up his mind.

Keep your options open until you have reason to be confident that person is someone special.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think he is full of crap, to be honest.

A GROWN man listened to a friend and didn't let you get a word in at all whether you were on dating sites or not... I find that odd and I'm wondering if that "friend" is female and if SHE lied to get him to dump you.

So now you know what kind of man this guy is. He was willing to accuse you of something (you know you didn't do) and not willing to even TALK to you about it. Which means he is NOT the kind of person who CAN or WILL compromise.

My advice? Don't delete your profile after 1 date in the future. 1 date and some chatting over text, phone, e-mail doesn't mean you KNOW the person all that well or even well enough to decide if the guy is a Keeper or not.

So consider this... Dating is hit and miss... This guy? BIG FAT MISS!

Redo your dating profile and forget that dude, try again with someone else. Someone less rigid and controlling.

And stop wasting time wondering why this guy did what he did, he is obviously not a good match.

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