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I want her to be my wife, not his!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2008)
A male Dominican Republic age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm in love with my cousins girlfriend and they are engaiged. I want to tell her how I feel before they get married. I know my cousin will be mad but I can't live without her. what do I do? I know that she still loves me we dated two years ago and her mom told me that she said she will always love me. It was my fault that she broke up with me I cheated on her but I would never do it agian. I don't want to loose her forever. I want her to be my wife not my cousins he don't deserve her he is a bad guy a lot worse than me. How can I change her mind?

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2008):

lexilou agony auntUnless she says anything to you then leave it, it not worth the pain and heartbreak for your family and you, and it may not work again and then it would all be for nothing. Give them a chance at happiness x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

I think maybe you should just let them be happy together. You broke her heart, man. If my boyfriend (who I've been with for several years) cheated on me, I would always love him, but I would leave him and could never take him back because I could never trust him again. I think you've lost this woman's trust even if she does still love you, so it would probably be best if you kept your silence and found someone else.

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A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (14 May 2008):

PeterPan agony auntI always try to take on the tough questions... here I go head first!

I think that if you can get a private moment with the old GF/wife-to-be before the ceremony, do it... and fast! Basically, you should just be straight forward and honest with her on how you feel... then wait for the reply. If there's a question in her mind about the cousin, then this might be you chance to change things... but, remember that the choice is really all hers! No matter what she says, it is her choice and you must honor it (basically, I trying to prepare you for a less than desirable response to your asking her not to marry your cousin). He she rejects the idea, then you and her put that conversation out of your minds from that point on.

Honestly, you're also playing with dynamite here. Since this is a family issue, you're risking breaking or dividing your family with a coup like this... consider that before you have that conversation.

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