A
male
age
30-35,
*amesO95
writes:HiI'm a 24 year old male who had been in a long term relationship for three years and then ended it fairly recently. I am now seeing someone else who is 23 and a virgin. I've had sex with a few girls before but never with someone who was a virgin. Last night we tried to have sex and it didn't really work. I did penetrate her a bit but we tried for a while and it wouldn't really go in very well. She also didn't bleed which I thought was supposed to happen. I remember when I first had sex with my previous partner (who wasn't a virgin) and it took a while before it worked properly so is it just a case of perseverance? I don't mind waiting at all that's not the issue just wondered if anyone has any wise words to reassure me that it will get better!ThanksJames Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (13 July 2013):
Dear OP,
I couldn't agree more with the other agony aunts: patience, humour, lots of foreplay and moving "carefully".. that would really help. And yes there doesn't have to be blood.
To be penetrated when you're not really aroused or relaxed as a woman is really uncomfortable. It's the opposite of sexy. So, make sure she' s "ready".
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 July 2013):
 When I lost my virginity at 19, it took us a MONTH to get it right and get him inside me. And he was a guy who had been with approximately 30 chicks before me. Incidentally, I ended up married to that guy - I didn't see that coming, but here we are and we have sex just fine.
But I look back on that month, and smile. It's actually kind of a fond memory. There was a lot of laughing, some awkwardness, but we got to know each other even better than we had before. I think it took a month because my body was tensed up - I mean, I had never been in a situation like that before, and even though we had been dating for 3 months and I was very comfortable with him, my body was still like, "what's going on... what are you - HEY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!? WHOA WHOA WHOA". Not to mention, he was generously endowed. No wonder my body freaked out a little.
Like "person12345" suggests, lots of foreplay, plenty of lube, going nice and slow, and finally - just not worrying about it. If it doesn't happen, that's okay. It'll happen eventually. Just keep smiling together. If it doesn't happen, don't get frustrated - that may make her feel like a weirdo, like she's not performing right, and that'll make her tense up even more. Just relax and know that it'll happen.
And yeah, don't be on the look out for blood. Maybe that'll show up - maybe it won't.
Good luck, sweet and don't worry! Relax and enjoy the journey.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 July 2013):
 It sounds like she's not aroused enough for it to work and/or is too tense. The reason it tends to get easier is because a) it's less scary and she's less likely to tense up and b) she knows where she needs to be arousal-wise for it to be comfortable.
What I would recommend now is a LOT more foreplay. Get her to almost orgasm before trying again, like very close. Then try. I would also add some lube. Go very slow, don't try to push it in in one go. Without sounding too "porny" just very gentle shallow thrusts and her body should get the message to loosen up.
Many virgins don't bleed because their hymen broke from something else, gymnastics, dancing, riding a bike, riding horses, etc... It's normal.
Also be sure to use a condom!
...............................
|
