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After a month boyfriend wants to have sex but I don't think I'm ready yet

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Question - (26 July 2013) 9 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok, i have known my boyfriend for a month now he wants to have sex in a way i do too but then i realize im not ready. What should i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013):

You're asking a website, because you need an objective opinion; and you need it from someone who will see it from both sides of the issue.

If you aren't ready, you have your own reasons and they should be respected. You shouldn't feel guilty for being cautious, and listening to the little voice inside you. That's called wisdom and sensibility. He will wait and respect you all the more. It is a gift. Even if you decide never to give it to him, that is your right, and it's your body. It may be a little fear. Trust will tell you when it's time.

Your head and your heart has to be in it; in order to enjoy the physical experience. Take all the time you need; but don't leave him hanging. Just tell him that you're just not ready yet.

It's better to wait until you're ready; then to submit and regret it, or feel shame.

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A female reader, oolagoob United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2013):

oolagoob agony auntIf you have to ask on a random website, then you are not ready.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 July 2013):

chigirl agony auntHow old are you? Are you a virgin?

The basic answer based on such little information is: just tell him you're not ready.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 July 2013):

Honeypie agony auntTell him. If you are NOT ready you are NOT ready. IF HE can't wait... HE isn't for you as he doesn't CARE.

Simple as that.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (26 July 2013):

person12345 agony auntTell him! Is he pressuring you into it? There's no reason to rush into it if you're not ready.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (26 July 2013):

Wait longer and wait as long as you want. This will give you more than enough time to know him better and the thing is, a month or three months is a short time compared to a relationship that can last decades, so take your time in trying to find the right guy for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013):

I would just tell him your not ready and would like to wait a bit longer if he argues or goes in a mood about it hes not worth being with

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (26 July 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Tell him that you are not ready! If he cares, and he respects you , he will understand and wait ( although maybe chomping at the bite a bit :).

What else would you want to do, do something that you are not ready for , convinced about, and only desire " in a way " -just to ingratiate yourself to a stranger that you met only a month ago ? ....

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A female reader, ihavetoomanythoughts Australia +, writes (26 July 2013):

ihavetoomanythoughts agony auntTell him he can wait until you're ready or he can leave. Time to see how committed he is.

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