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Why do people think that women are more emotional in relationships, more clingy, needy and attached after sex?

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Question - (5 July 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Why do people think that women are more emotional in relationships, more clingy, needy and attached after sex? Why do women have this stereotype when so often I see men becoming engrossed with their female partners after a sexual relationship has started? Men are often more clingy than women are losing their virginities. Women are also branded as not being able to cope with a merely friends with benefits arrangement and falling for their "friend" - but the same goes for men. I know about the chemical oxytocin; but really when did science control genuine love? So why else do these stereotypes exist when they are often broken?

View related questions: friend with benefits

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A male reader, adaminio United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2013):

Well they do say women fall in love quicker than males so that's maybe why BUT personally when a man falls in love its a deeper love because we take longer to do so.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (5 July 2013):

Dionee' agony auntI believe that not everyone is the same. There are some men who become attached and clingy just like some woman do. Not EVERYONE, but not ALL.

Like I've said that everyone is different. It sure isn't fair how some people make women sound Needy and incapable of having a non strings attached relationship however, many women do in fact become attached to an uncomfortable point of obsession and i think that these types of women are the types that people refer to and not ALL women.

Some men can be just as bad as "those" types of woman so its not as though everyone sees women as the weaker sex that cannot walk away as easily as men. It all depends on the individual, not everyone works the same way so its different for everyone.

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (5 July 2013):

Dear OP,

Well, I guess this stereotype has to do with a problem.. that maybe women, not all women but most women, don't see the point of a FWB (only sex and being friendly) when they could have a relationship. I also don't see the point of repeatedly meeting a guy, sleeping with him, exchanging nice words and going home.. but not doing all the relationship stuff. Because I associate relationship with even more fun than just sex! Relationships are nice! Why wouldn't I want one with someone I like well enough to have sex with?

Maybe it works for people who are afraid of commitment. Men and women. Don't know. Anyway, I fit the stereotype but I'm not clingy. I just decide whether I can deal with the situation and if I can't, I'm out with not much drama.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2013):

There is a stereotype that women get more emotionally involved from sex. You hear worlds like "clingy" and "needy" when a woman is complaining about the label.

But you don't hear that stuff so often when a woman is complaining about being emotionally involved with a FWB situation. Now you hear things like "he should have respected that sex has emotional consequences" and "he should not have taken advantage of my feelings and led me on" etc.

The stereotype is still around because women have not been so quick to let go of it when they stand to benefit from it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2013):

Yes this is so true that men can be emotional and get clingy the same way others describe women after a sexual encounter

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (5 July 2013):

person12345 agony auntIt's called sexism.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (5 July 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntBecause we live in a Patriarchal culture that is inherently dismissive and hostile to women. We're, as a whole, considered "crazy", "emotional", "catty", etc etc. The same traits that are admired and respected in men are considered a negative with women...for instance, if a man has authority, confidence, is outspoken and plain-dealing, he's considered a "Boss", but if a woman is the same way, she's a "Bitch".

DO NOT FALL INTO THIS BULLSHIT STEREOTYPE. Don't prescribe to it, and don't believe it. Women are no more or less emotional, clingy or "crazy" than men are.

That is why I call myself a feminist, because until we live in a society that values women as much as they value men, women will be forced to deal with these hateful assumptions.

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