| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I get too wet during sex and it worries me that he can't feel me properly. Is there a solution possible?
Q. Hi everyone... Okay this is a kind of embarrassing problem and i'm really paranoid about it , its starting to affect my confidence and my sex life. So iv'e got 2 children 7 and 8 and im a good weight, healthy etc, thing is though, quite a lot late...
A. 27 October 2012: Is he getting off? Then he can definitely feel you! His penis is WAY WAY WAY more sensitive than your vagina. Your vagina is built for less pain in childbirth rather than more pleasure during sex. You can mostly feel movement and fullness, right? ... (read in full...)
I want to be friends, he wants a FWB
Q. This may be odd...but i need help. I met this guy at the beginning of my senior year, same age as me, and we obviously liked each other. We hung out once at his house and chilled and almost kissed. Then a week later he got into a relationship that ...
A. 26 October 2012: If all he wants is casual sex, that should mean he doesn't have any emotional attachment and he won't be hurt if you turn him down. That's the whole point of FWB. If you turn him down and he doesn't want to be friends any,ore, then you were never ... (read in full...)
I get too wet during sex and it worries me that he can't feel me properly. Is there a solution possible?
Q. Hi everyone... Okay this is a kind of embarrassing problem and i'm really paranoid about it , its starting to affect my confidence and my sex life. So iv'e got 2 children 7 and 8 and im a good weight, healthy etc, thing is though, quite a lot late...
A. 26 October 2012: I'm sorry if I sound unsympathetic but I don't understand what the problem is or why you feel humiliated. You are wet, meaning you're super turned on. You have orgasms, again, meaning you're super turned on. He has orgasms, meaning he's super turned ... (read in full...)
My wife has been keeping secrets from me. What did she do in Vegas?
Q. My wife and I were in Venice sitting on a hotel balcony overlooking the Grand Canal. We were joined by 2 girls in their mid 20s and a boy about the same age. Conversation let to what our favorite city was. When my wife's turn came she stated h...
A. 26 October 2012: If she was cheating on you in Vegas, do you really think she'd be gushing about it right in front of you?
She probably just finds it easy to let loose and party a little. I don't think you should worry that she's cheating on you. If she'd said som... (read in full...)
His Porn addiction is getting worse. It's bothering me. How do I raise my concerns so he'll listen?
Q. I've been dating the same fellow for a couple of years now and the last number of months has giving me grown concern and I'm not sure how to approach or even handle this situation. I've always known that he has had tendencies to watch porn and boot...
A. 26 October 2012: Your boyfriend is SEVERELY violating other women's fit to privacy. That's horrifying sexual predator behavior and you need to leave immediately. On top of that he enjoys watching animals be raped (they cannot consent to sex). There is a reason ... (read in full...)
She's not just curvy anymore. I love my wife and she means a lot to me but why does she ignore my request that she please keep in shape? What should I do?
Q. I have an issue. My wife and I have been together for 9 and a half year and married for 8. When we first started dating she was always trying to stay in shape. All the way up to our 4th year of being together. Then she decided to get too relax...
A. 26 October 2012: Male anon:
You either know this because you've been married so many times you've observed it, you are single and spend all your time observing other couples, or you are in an unhappy marriage and deciding to hate all women because you're unhappy.... (read in full...)
He's looking at Porn every night. Is this what men do or is this unacceptable?
Q. Mondote: Please provide your age next time you ask a question to help people who answer your question/s. Been with C for 8years, lived together for 5years and have an 8month old baby. Always had arguments about porn with empty promises about not wa...
A. 26 October 2012: The trust is completely gone from your relationship, it's time to end it. You don't trust him and he doesn't respect you. This is never going to change. He doesn't want to change and he knows you will keep coming back to him even if he's having ... (read in full...)
Would it be best to wait? New relationship: Is there really anytime where sex is to soon?
Q. after having my daughter 5 months ago, and her father leaving me while i was pregnant .. I Finally met someone amazing . He Makes me laugh , has a great personality , extreamly attractive , has a lot of things going for himself There's nothi...
A. 26 October 2012: Until you're ready is the best time to wait. So long as its not on the first two dates you won't scare him off or something. ... (read in full...)
He's a good guy but soooo boring!
Q. I ve met this really nice guy, who I date now for 6 months. He is everything any woman can wish for: handsome, has a good job, good natured, we managed not to have a single fight, gentleman. But, I can't believe I m actually saying it, he i...
A. 25 October 2012: He doesn't sound boring, he just sounds like he enjoys spending time in different ways from you. That can work well, opposites attract, but it can be bad. In your case it sounds like it's just causing you to be frustrated (and probably him too). ... (read in full...)
I broke up with her but realised I made a mistake, how do I get her back?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 months and it's been a little difficult since we've only been seeing each other once a month, and recently started seeing each other 2X per month. We also have been chatting an...
A. 25 October 2012: It's kind of hard to say what you should do, we don't know her. She might need time to breathe and some space so she can have time to miss you, or she might want you to make some grand gesture (like flying out to see her on a whim). I think if ALL ... (read in full...)
Do I stay and hope he can contain his love of gambling? Or do I go?
Q. me and boyfriend have been together a year, we now live together and i love him very much. i have a daughter from a previous relationship who he is great with. the problem is he likes to gamble, hes currently awaiting his date to join the army, s...
A. 25 October 2012: Gambling is addictive. These addictions can spiral completely out of control. My friend's wife had a gambling addiction that she tried to hide. It seemed harmless, just a few hours and a couple hundred bucks here or there, and then suddenly one day ... (read in full...)
When I mention forplay he cringes. How do I encourage him to try to provide more foreplay?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am puzzled how to ask my boyfriend for a foreplay and give him hints on what I want. I am trying to be delicate and not sure if my ways are working. We used to have had great sex, he would always listen to my suggestions and try...
A. 25 October 2012: "but it would frustrate him very much as he says he needs sex, men are different, they need it physiologically, balls are full and it's not healthy, and start fidgeting and become nervous."
Sorry, no, that's a load of horse poop he's feeding you.... (read in full...)
Girls if a guy asks you out and you say no, then is it awkward for ever after between him and you?
Q. I have never dated very much. My one and only girlfriend, with her, things just happened as if I didn't have control. I said things I wouldn't normally have said, I was forward and thats why things worked out. I was assertive. Usually though,...
A. 25 October 2012: No I don't think it's awkward. I was once in a tiny class of only 5 people and one guy asked me out, we went on one date, it went poorly, and even though it was awkward for a few classes, we stopped feeling awkward and just went back to normal ... (read in full...)
It's beyond me. What kind of help does my wife need about her fetish? She seems to want to get sick. I'm at a loss. Does she need help?
Q. I'm 31, my wife's 28, and recently she's developed a new fetish. She's become hooked on getting a stomach-ache having read webforums and sites about 'stomachache fetishes', and eats a lot of rich food in order to get it. She keeps going on a...
A. 25 October 2012: This doesn't top the list of "weird" fetishes for me at all. There are even people who find making themselves vomit a turn on, so at least hers is less messy!
She's not making herself sick or unwell, she's making herself uncomfortable. So long as ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm scared. This girl in our group already took over one girl's Bf. Now what can I do? Because I think she's after my Bf.
Q. Hello:) Thanks in advance for your time:) I'm in a relationship, which is going well, and we are both in the same friendship group. All his guy mates, and all my girl mates are all mates! haha, but there is one problem. One of my girl mates...
A. 25 October 2012: Your bf cannot be "taken over" by someone if he was not open to the idea. So even if she goes over flirting and giggling and hair flipping, if your boyfriend is devoted to you he will be unphased. There will almost always be someone who could be ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I've been doing penis enlargement exercises?
Q. Should I tell my Wife I've been doing penis enlargement exercises? I was doing them a few years ago and stopped at her request. I finally decided that this is something I want, even if she doesn't want me to. I am small down there and she has had ...
A. 24 October 2012: Total waste of time, but I don't think it's really a big deal. But seriously, it's a complete waste of time. If these guys with bigger penises were actually better, she'd be with them, not with you. If giant penises mattered to women, it would be a ... (read in full...)
Why do guys want and like you more when you don't give them your attention?
Q. why is it when you like a guy and you're all affectionate and flirty with each other, you've even made it clear that you like him and that you want more than what you already are, they act oblivious to it or don't say much on the idea and lead you ...
A. 24 October 2012: It's called playing hard to get and has been going on from both sides for as long as dating has happened. The basic idea behind it is that if someone is throwing themselves at your feet, it seems a little desperate and doesn't make them seem ... (read in full...)
I broke up with her but realised I made a mistake, how do I get her back?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 months and it's been a little difficult since we've only been seeing each other once a month, and recently started seeing each other 2X per month. We also have been chatting an...
A. 24 October 2012: It sounds like just as you changed your mind, now she's changed hers. The way you are feeling now? That's how she was feeling when you broke up with her.
I think there would be some benefit to being a bit persistent, but only for a week or so an... (read in full...)
Why does my husband keep going on dating sites looking for women? he knows I know. So why does he keep on hurting me like this?
Q. For at least the past 6 months I was coming across my boyfriend going on dating sites to chat to different women. Of course, he has always denied it and called me weird and neurotic. He knows that I know, so why won`t he tell me if there is somet...
A. 23 October 2012: He keeps hurting you because you let him. He will never stop, he doesn't care about you, your feelings, or your marriage. He is waiting for you to end things because on top of being an uncaring, unfeeling narcissist, he is a coward. End things and ... (read in full...)
Is Abstinence the only answer as birth control for me?
Q. I'm having a lot of trouble with birth control methods and I don't know whether to ask my boyfriend if we can stop having sex until we're ready to settle down. We've been together for a year and sexually active for almost all of it. At the start...
A. 23 October 2012: Lambskin or latex free (a different kind of less stretchy plasticy material) condoms.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is mean and pressuring me for sex. Should I break up with him?
Q. I love my boyfriend of 5 months dearly, but i'm still not ready for sex and he pressures me sometimes. We have different religious views and his parents don't want to meet me,and on top of that he can be soo mean to me. But he can also be soo sweet. ...
A. 23 October 2012: This relationship is clearly going nowhere and causing you pain. Just because there are sometimes good times does not mean a relationship is working. He sounds like a jerk. He turns on the charm just long enough to use to try to get in your pants, ... (read in full...)
Is Abstinence the only answer as birth control for me?
Q. I'm having a lot of trouble with birth control methods and I don't know whether to ask my boyfriend if we can stop having sex until we're ready to settle down. We've been together for a year and sexually active for almost all of it. At the start...
A. 23 October 2012: "They either won't go on at all or they hurt him when they are on."
How about female condoms? Or larger condoms for him? Honestly it kind of sounds like he's making excuses because he doesn't want to wear them.
I have personally never used i... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to play the field in this situation? I don't want to break hearts.
Q. ok so I haven't had a full-on relationship for about almost 3 years now, all I have been doing is going out weekends having one night stands and having fwb. Now however I have 3 girls that I can really have a proper strong relationship with. A...
A. 23 October 2012: "Obviously they do not know this"
If you want to get laid, go on some dates, then sure. If you want to start a serious relationship, then this is a terrible idea to sneak around. I know you aren't exclusive, but for these three women if they foun... (read in full...)
I love him, but I need to understand if his sexual fetishes are OK or not? One example: He likes me to dress as a school girl when we have sex.
Q. To give you a bit of background I'm not very sexually experienced. I've slept with two people in long-term relationships before my current partner and he is my third sexual partner (he is 23). In both my previous relationships, I had passionate, ...
A. 23 October 2012: I agree with Staceily. This is crossing a line. He sought out someone who is young and is the youngest he can legally have sex with. He wants you to dress up like a child and pretend you are bleeding from "first time" sex. I think you should be very ... (read in full...)
Has my Boyfriend cheated on me with his ex?
Q. Dear all, I am so hurt and miss my boyfriend after breaking up with him. I will try to keep this short, i meet him last Feb. we hit it off. Initially we started off fine, met him saturday nights with my friend and his, it was difficult to get o...
A. 23 October 2012: One break up and getting back together, I could see that being ok maybe. Two, probably not. Three, no chance. Four? Five? Six? Seven? Eight? And NINE?
He was never present in your relationship, there never was a relationship. This sounds like a b... (read in full...)
He said the condom I gave him was too small ...
Q. The other day I lent a condom to my friend who was going to have intercourse for the first time and when he came back he said it was too small and had to buy a larger one. I know it shouldn't affect me but it seems to bother me. The condom fits ok ...
A. 22 October 2012: I once loaned a bra to a friend who complained that it was way too small. Turns out she stuffed her bra and was putting me down to make herself feel better.
Unless you buy XS condoms, I highly doubt your friend actually needed bigger ones. I ... (read in full...)
After I asked him to used a condom he lost interest. He's drifting away from me. What can I do?
Q. things has changed he used to text me every hour, checking up on how im doing and made time to see me everynight after work... ever since i told him that we should use a condom we never had sex at all i will tell him that i want him but he doesnt s...
A. 22 October 2012: He is sulking like a little boy. There's nothing you can do, he is behaving in a childish and selfish way to get what he wants. If he won't be with you because you are looking out for your wellbeing, he never loved you in the first place. ... (read in full...)
Do guys who are in a committed relationship fantasize about other women in their life like colleagues etc, while masturbating?
Q. Dear Cupid Do guys who are in a committed relationship fantasize about other women who come into their life like collegues etc, while masterburating. I am not talking about movie stars or rock stars, just the normal women whom we see almost everyday...
A. 22 October 2012: Some do, some don't. Why do you ask?... (read in full...)
She doesn't like vibrators what else can she do?
Q. My girlfriend likes to masturbate by rubbing her clit through her panties. I was wondering if any women who also like to orgasm like that have any suggestions on other things she might like? BTW she doesn't really like vibrators. Oh yeah, ...
A. 22 October 2012: Oral sex, rubbing on things (like your leg or something), other kinds of toys (like cock rings that have nubby bits on them), etc...
Are you asking for her to use on her own or for you to do together?... (read in full...)
He does not want to be exclusive. I do want to be exclusive. Shall I wait until he is ready?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. I really like him and we have fun together. The thing is, we've done some sexual stuff and I sort of feel weird that I did that with someone who isn't my boyfriend. He just got out of a long-term relati...
A. 22 October 2012: I think you will probably be waiting a LONG time for him to want to be exclusive, if he ever does. If you really think he might change his mind, then yes you can see other people. If he can, why shouldn't you? Not to sound manipulative, but there's ... (read in full...)
I've started taking the pill but the doctor gave no advice at all!
Q. so i went to my doctor and got the pill but she was no help at all with what to do. So i had to research and ask my friends, basically I started my period this monday, but i started taking the pill today. My friends said this is fine, because ...
A. 22 October 2012: Read the leaflet! If you threw it away, you can download a copy on the website of whatever pill you are on. Just do a google search and it should be the first result. It explains everything you need. If you don't want to make an appointment with ... (read in full...)
Are long distance relationships/friendships really THAT bad?
Q. For the record, I AM not in a LDR. I'm asking this because I constantly see people bashing long distance relations. Or when somebody says that they have a friend online, people immediately think the worst. I have been in LDRs when I was in 6th to 9...
A. 22 October 2012: If you've never met someone you don't know them that well. You may know everything about them, but you just can't know someone THAT well until you are in person with them. There is more to personality than what you say. So long as you are being VERY ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about making noise during sex
Q. Now that Ive got used to a condom since 1st time sex I'm finding intercourse with my boyfriend more and more enjoyable.I think I'm now ready to go a bit vocal with the pleasure but I'm young and a bit nervous about starting.It's so quiet in the ...
A. 22 October 2012: If you are having to plan the noises then they aren't genuine and you shouldn't make them. You don't need to plan on it, just give a moan or something when it feels good. If something really feels that good, it will just come naturally.
No on... (read in full...)
What's the deal with Kim Kardashian?
Q. Hi, everyone. My boyfriend has a thing for Kim Kardashian. I personally think she's an overrated, spoiled brat. He has pleasured himself to her before, while we were broken up, but just recently I had fallen asleep before him and I woke up to him in ...
A. 22 October 2012: Kim Kardashian has a body like what Jessica Rabbit was modeled after. She looks cartoonish to me, and most guys I know don't find her to be that attractive.
As for him wanking to other women/porn, I have MANY links about this on my profile ... (read in full...)
Just lost my virginity, what can I expect?
Q. Hey guys, soo me and my boyfriend had sex like less then a week ago. It was my first time. I was just wondering if their are any post-sex like "symptoms" I should know about. I've been pretty sore and I don't know if that is normal I also heard ...
A. 22 October 2012: The only "symptom" I can think of would be an STD or pregnancy from not using protection, but I assume you did.
Soreness is normal. Make sure next time you have enough foreplay so you are very turned on and it will help prevent that. I've heard of... (read in full...)
Why can't my ex leave the past behind? I did, why can't he?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this guy for many years after 04 we split for good I was dating him since 1983. Common-Law marriage I would say I finally built up enough courage to finally leave him. i made it out with his two children. N...
A. 22 October 2012: "And my question is why doesn't my ex want to leave the past in the past?"
Because he relishes the control. He knows that by continuing to bother you and forcing himself into your life, he is gaining some of that control back.
If you can, block h... (read in full...)
She is 'too busy for me' so I'm going to break up with her. Is there a RIGHT way to break-up?
Q. I have recently decided to break up with my girlfriend. We have been going out for about 1 year and a few months. I am breaking up with her because she is too busy for me or just doesn't feel the same about me anymore. I don't want to hurt her or d...
A. 22 October 2012: "How do I break up with her and not make her feel bad? How can I remain friends with her as well?"
You won't be able to break up with her without hurting her. I know you care about her and it sucks to feel like you are causing her to hurt, but she ... (read in full...)
How to stop Boyfriend taking advantage?
Q. Lately, i've been feeling like my boyfriend is taking advantage. He never seems to give me any notice for anything - always assumes i am free and just demands it instead of asking. If he wants to stay over mine on a friday night (he doesn't alwa...
A. 22 October 2012: Stop letting him treat you like this. Say no. Stop saying yes. When he says he wants his motorcycle and you need to drop everything to let him get it, say you're busy! When he demands your car, then throws a temper tantrum don't cave in and drive ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to clean up after himself?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I live by myself and he still lives with his mom. He comes and stays from Fri-Sun/Mon. Before he comes over, i usually give the house a bit of a clean if it is messy. WHen he leaves, it is like a bomb that ...
A. 22 October 2012: First read this:
http://www.uic.edu/orgs/cwluherstory/CWLUArchive/polhousework.html
Then have him read it. He's being childish and sexist. Mommy cleans, you (woman) clean, he gets to lounge around being filthy.
My boyfriend used to pu... (read in full...)
I feel my girlfriend is rushing our relationship. 6 months and a LDR and she's talking of marriage!
Q. I have been dating this girl long distance of 6 months now, and we are planning to move in together in 2 months. She has had many more sexual partners and failed relationships as well as a marriage when she was still young. Where as this is my first ...
A. 19 October 2012: If you hadn't been long distance it might be a different story, but you can't know how compatible you are together until you've actually been together, in person, for awhile. What happens if you decide to get married and then you can't ever move to ... (read in full...)
How do I get through this time? I feel overwhelmed since being expelled from school
Q. Hello everyone, I feel like if everything has been going wrong lately. It all started in April when i got expelled from school, it was my senior year, i was supposed to finish this December. What happened wasn't really my fault and hopefully th...
A. 19 October 2012: You need to find something to occupy yourself. You can't sit at home feeling sad or you will never pull yourself out of depression. I know it probably feels like you have no energy and going out sounds terrible, but surely there is something you've ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt him. I want to keep him as a friend. So how do I let him down nicely?
Q. There's a really sweet guy in my algebra class and he's asked me out. I like him, but don't. He's a really good guy and is more friend than anything else. I told him I don't want to ruin our friendship but he wants to try. I'm confused and...
A. 19 October 2012: The best way to protect him at this point is to not try to maintain the friendship. He likes you, friendship won't be good enough for him anymore and will just hurt him. You saying you don't want to ruin your friendship is turning him down nicely ... (read in full...)
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