| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Is it wrong to want a proper blow-job from my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she's the only girl I've ever been with and I love her, everything is perfect but there is one thing she won't do for me. She won't finish me off with a blow-job ever. I'm not even asking her to swallow ...
A. 12 October 2012: The important thing here is that she has decided what she will do and what she won't and that is her boundary, which you need to respect. She doesn't like giving blow jobs, but that is something she is willing to do it to make you happy. She doesn't ... (read in full...)
Partner only wants hand jobs and anal sex. I'm confused!
Q. My partner only seems to want handjobs (about 3 times a week) and no penetrative sex. On the other hand all he talks about wanting is anal sex. Im confused what to think. Anal sex is not for me and no matter how many times i say so he continues to ...
A. 11 October 2012: He clearly doesn't listen to you or your needs, why are you still with him? If he won't listen when you tell him you don't want anal sex and doesn't listen when you tell him you don't even like sex, I don't think there's much more to talk about.... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but hardly ever see her. Should I continue when I feel this disappointed?
Q. I have started seeing this girl and its been going on for about a month. When we're together its really nice but thats the problem. She never wants to see me. shes always too busy going to parties which i never get invited to. We arranged to meet...
A. 11 October 2012: If she wanted to spend time with you she would spend time with you, it's that simple. If she has time to be partying (without you) she has time to be spending with you and she could bring you to the parties. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like she's ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want a proper blow-job from my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she's the only girl I've ever been with and I love her, everything is perfect but there is one thing she won't do for me. She won't finish me off with a blow-job ever. I'm not even asking her to swallow ...
A. 11 October 2012: Sorry but at this point you need to just respect that she doesn't want to do this. With some men it feels like having hot rotting asparagus launched into the back of your throat. Some women don't mind it, some women enjoy it, but some women hate it. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he make the first move or admit his feelings for me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need some assistance conquering an odd situation with my guy friend. Since meeting him over a year ago, we have become really close friends where we talk on the phone almost everyday religiously and hangout whenever we have time in ...
A. 11 October 2012: If you've told him you have feelings for him and he has told you he does not having feelings for you, then it is time to move on. All the hints in the world can't overcome that. Either he doesn't have feelings for you or he does but doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wrongfully accused me of lying to him. Is this a deal breaker for us?
Q. My bf and I have been together off and on for over a year now. Before we started dating, I was hanging out with him and an acquaintance of ours, after a night of drinking and partying with some friends. We decided to call it a night and this o...
A. 11 October 2012: I think that would be for a lot of people. He's assuming you're lying over what this guy says, just because he's a guy. It's bad enough some guy is going around bragging about a hook up that didn't happen, you don't need your boyfriend jumping on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got his roommate pregnant with twins. We have a child together. What should I do?
Q. Please help me I just found out about my boyfriend, who lives in another house, got his roommate pregnant 7 months ago. She now had twins but she's not out of the hospital yet. I found out about it today I have never liked her. the first time I...
A. 11 October 2012: Alcohol is the stupidest excuse I've ever heard. If someone is drinking and driving and they get in an accident, do the police just let them go because they weren't in their right mind? No, it's a MORE severe punishment. So why is drinking and ... (read in full...)
Should I stick with this guy who gave me an STD and who has another girlfriend? I want a husband and family!
Q. I started dating a guy I knew for a while after two years of losing my fiance' to cancer. I'm 35 years old and he died when I was 32 going on 33. I didn't become intimate with him until about 4 months into our dating. Anyway, this guy a lot has gone ...
A. 11 October 2012: What an awful person he is. He gives you diseases and lies to you about his girlfriend, there is NOTHING good about this guy. You need to have some pride and dump him! Even if he left his girlfriend for you, he was cheating on her, you can be ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to confirm when I'll be ready for sex? I'm feeling better about it but I am still unsure.
Q. So I was talking to my friend yesterday about relationships and sex. She's done more stuff with her boyfriend than me, but like she totally understands how I feel. She told me to just have fun and if you trust the person you're with, that I've noth...
A. 11 October 2012: I agree with Chigirl. Don't have sex to make him happy, that's a really bad reason and you'll resent him for it eventually. If he can't be happy without sex, then he was never in the relationship for the right reasons.
There can be a lot of harm ... (read in full...)
Is it too late ? How do I apologise sincerely and convincely? I know I messed up and ruined our trip gether.
Q. i was seeing a very nice guy soon after ending a long term relationship of 13 years. Unfortunately it only lasted a few months because I was not ready for a relationship so soon and he was hurt by me. we planned a trip together and right before...
A. 11 October 2012: I think you can write a nice letter to let him know how sorry you are and like the others said, explaining that the timing was just bad and you weren't ready for a relationship, but jumped in with him because you liked him so much. Sounds like a bad ... (read in full...)
It's our old home where we used to live together. What message is he sending me: he has clearly been visiting the place for sex with a new girl. Why leave evidence?
Q. I split up with my boyfriend and he's been begging me back for months I recently started communicating with him again as I wanted to try and have a friendship and he agrees he wanted the same . We both have keys to our home which we shared and he...
A. 11 October 2012: I think he's just not thinking about it, he has a new girlfriend and has moved on. He likely removed your things because he doesn't want his new girlfriend to be bothered.
If you can you should probably move out.... (read in full...)
Why do I shake when near climaxing? I'm embarrassed. Is it normal?
Q. So when and my boyfriend are doing foreplay I obviously get turned up to the point of climaxing and when I know I'm nearing that I get him to stop. I do this because I tend to shake when I do. I'm worried that he'll find it weird which is why I st...
A. 11 October 2012: I think being so turned on you're shaking is generally considered a turn on for most guys. Just like moaning, breathing hard, yelling, clenching, twitching, or whatever else people do. Doesn't he do "weird" things before he orgasms? And doesn't that ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but how do we get the spark back? I felt that spark with another guy and was tempted.
Q. Hi there, I've not written anything here in a while - I've not needed to! I've been in a happy and stable relationship for two and a half years. However I've had something playing on my mind and I need to get it out. My other half went to Can...
A. 11 October 2012: There's always someone newer out there and you just have to keep reminding yourself it's the newness, not the guy. Remember when you first met your boyfriend? I bet you got those same bubbly excited feelings. If you get a new boyfriend, those bubbly ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is renting out spare room to another woman and I feel uncomfortable.
Q. My fella of 6 months is struggling with bills even though he works. He has a mortgage to meet and has been worrying about winter fuel bills taking more. He cannot afford to go out except once a month, without me, so we stop in and one of us cooks, ...
A. 10 October 2012: My boyfriend lived with two attractive women his own age with similar interests this year, while we were long distance. One of them even had a crush on him. As a group the three of them also hung out and went places together. Nothing happened the ... (read in full...)
Mum wants me to see her gynaecologist. I want to see a different one. Shouldn't this be my decision?
Q. I'm 18 years old girl and soon I'm going to have my first gynecologist visit. My mother wants to send me to her gynecologist, that she has been visiting almost all her life. I don't want to see her gynecologist, because I don't want a female looking ...
A. 10 October 2012: So long as they take the same insurance it shouldn't be an issue, however I think you shouldn't rule out an entire sex, especially before you've even gone in. I see a woman now, just because she was who was available first. I like her because she ... (read in full...)
He's chatting to other girls online behind my back, is this cheating?
Q. i dont know how to word this effectively, my boyfriend and i have been together over a year and i thought we were happy, i know he has cheated in the past and im no saint myself but i thought that was all in the past, hand on my heart i can say ive ...
A. 10 October 2012: I think many people would consider this cheating, and you obviously have a some reason/feeling why you shouldn't trust him. I think it's probably time to end this relationship.... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm not interested in sex anymore?
Q. I'm quite young but old enough for sex. At firzt I liked having sex with my boyfriend but since it started hurting I don't like to have sex anymore and haven't for a few months. Is this weird? ...
A. 10 October 2012: Do you like stubbing your toe? Do you like getting poked by needles? Of course not. So if sex hurts, why would you want to do it?
Are you VERY turned on before you have sex or do you just kind of go for it? You should aim to be close to orgasm b... (read in full...)
I fantasise about ugly old men! Is this normal?
Q. I'm a 31 year old female in a relationship with a man a couple of years younger than me. But, by far one of my most potent sexual fantasies involves far older men, usually 60+, having sex with me or other women in their 20s or 30s. Usually the ...
A. 10 October 2012: I wouldn't say 60 is old...
But whatever floats your boat. I've heard of other women fantasizing about this, definitely not that weird.... (read in full...)
Abusive past and can't tolerate any porn. How can me and my partner move on?
Q. I have been in an on and off relationship with the father of my youngest son for 7 years. Things have been tumultuous from the beginning, us both being insecure and having other issues, mine being from an extremely abusive upbringing. My step father ...
A. 10 October 2012: I don't think it's a good idea for you to get back with him. Even without porn and without the abuse I would say you shouldn't get back with him. I know one couple that wound up happy together after breaking up and getting back together. That's ... (read in full...)
Have you ever caught your spouse, fiance or boyfriend perving on high school girls and I found his porn stash
Q. When we go out to eat at a local restaurant (it's a small rural town) I noticed that my boyfriend will stare over quite a lot at the local waitresses teenage daughter who is 17 when the daughter decides to come into the restaurant to see her mother ...
A. 9 October 2012: Ick! This is not normal. He marks up his porn with sticky notes? That's beyond creepy. Everything about what you are saying gives me the creeps and I would definitely be worried/reconsidering the relationship if I were you...... (read in full...)
If he can get amazing looking girls, then what is he doing with me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 6 months We were having a conversation about exs - when he was describing one he said some features and I go so she was a full hot girl? Then he goes I would t describe her as hot, she was cute. Then I g...
A. 9 October 2012: First off, if he can get amazing looking girls but is with you, the way you should interpret that is that you are an amazing looking girl. Not that he can do better. Clearly he has standards, and clearly you meet and/or exceed them!
The second t... (read in full...)
I'm worried about socializing before the booze kicks in. I need a pep talk!
Q. Hi. I’ve been invited out tonight by a group of people I went on a field trip with earlier this year. I’d like to go and feel that I should, but I’m missing the confidence to go out and do it. I know everyone but I’m not particularly good friends ...
A. 9 October 2012: I'm probably going to get ripped to shreds for telling you to do this instead of offering a confidence solution, but you can always just do a shot before you go out. That's what pre-gaming is for in college I think. I wouldn't get in the habit of ... (read in full...)
How do I get my prude girlfriend to do sexual things with me?!
Q. How do I get my prude girlfriend to do shit with me?! We have been dating for a few weeks and we have only made out. I try to feel her up and she just stops me. how can i seduce/persuade her to let me finger her or give me dome!? ...
A. 8 October 2012: Why is she prude, why aren't you pushy and overly aggressive? She's not ready, stop pushing her. She probably senses you only care about "getting some" and not about actually being with her, why would she go further? P.S. Coercing someone into ... (read in full...)
People find me intense and intimidating. How can I can get them to relax around me?
Q. This is kind of an odd post...for me anyway... But I have a tough time getting people to get comfortable around me. Everytime I meet someone for the 1st time, they are so cagey and quiet and stiff. They have a hard time making eye contact with ...
A. 8 October 2012: Do you have light colored eyes? Sometimes those can feel very piercing and intense even if the meaning behind a look isn't so intense. Some people also just make way too much eye contact and it can feel very creepy and intense even if they aren't ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my addiction to pornography?
Q. I plan on quitting pornography after using it twice a day since I was 15. Now, 4 years later, I feel like it is holding me back. I've only had one girlfriend and felt guilty using it and tried to quit it, but wasn't successful after relapsing too ...
A. 8 October 2012: How could porn help you get better with women? Nothing it teaches is real. It teaches men how to be bad in bed and to be insecure in their own bodies. Most of the men in it are hung like donkeys, the average penis size is 5-6 inches AND most women ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to buy me things?
Q. Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to buy me things? I don't mean expensive jewelery or anything, but we've been going out four months and he's never brought me flowers, or chocolates or anything. He's only ever once or twice paid for dinner. I feel ...
A. 7 October 2012: No I don't think it's petty. Do you pay for dinners or do you split them? If the former, he's being kind of a moocher and you should at least be splitting them. If you want more little presents, just tell him you would love it if he would ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is terrible at performing oral sex
Q. Here's the thing - my boyfriend is great but....he's rubbish at giving me oral sex! I've tried giving him subtle pointers but he just seems to ignore them, and then gets annoyed when he can't please me. I dont want to take oral sex off the menu, but ...
A. 7 October 2012: If he won't take subtle hints, be less subtle. Just tell him outright what you need. Say it in a "sexy voice" but tell him directly. If you like a specific move say, "I would love it if you did _____." I agree with YouWish, never compare things to ... (read in full...)
I can't satisfy my husband in bed. I feel a failure. Is this relationship going no where?
Q. Hi. I cant satisfy my husband. It has always been hit and miss and I have tried to leave him too, this was one of the reasons. He says that I don't 'join' with him referring to his sick ways. It has put me under a lot of pressure and guilt. If I...
A. 7 October 2012: What sick ways are you referring to? Also why is sex all about how you can stimulate him, rather than something you do together?... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 7 October 2012: What is it that makes sex way better? Do you think that it's simply a vagina, or is it also that that vagina is attached to a person who has emotions and makes noises and is warm and moves and breathes and has pheromones and is connecting with you? ... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex - how safe is it?
Q. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know ...
A. 5 October 2012: Your method of guessing is not very safe. While you can kind of track your ovulation by the fact that you have a lot more discharge for two days, it's not 100% accurate.
The safer way is with charting, though that's still not very good. However,... (read in full...)
Breast feeding with breast implants?
Q. just wondering with women who have had breast implants did any of you have a child afterwards? and did it change your breast implant could you breast feed. i have a daughter already and gotten breast implants i want another child and just wonderin...
A. 5 October 2012: Some women can, some women can't. I don't think there's any way to know until you try it though.... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old lesbian and I'm a virgin. But what if I don't find that "special someone" I've been waiting for? Should I have sex with my guy friend ?
Q. I consider myself to be a lesbian, but I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I am still a virgin, and I was planning on saving my virginity until I am in a relationship with someone who I feel I am ready to give my virginity too. The thing is, I'm ...
A. 5 October 2012: If you are a lesbian, why do you want to have sex with a man?... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? My boyfriend went out with his friends and he had a private nude lap dance provided for his enjoyment.
Q. I've never posted on anything like this before but I'm really not sure what to do. A few weeks my boyfriend went out with his friends just for a night on the town with the boys. At beginning of the night he and his friends went to a strip club ...
A. 4 October 2012: To me that would count as cheating. Not awkward, cheating. It's up to you what you want to do. Like someone else said, if you hadn't already set boundaries about strip clubs you could choose now as the time to do that and try to move on.... (read in full...)
How realistic is it for me to want to date only uncircumcised men?
Q. I know this may make me shallow, childish, immature, but it's how I feel: Three years ago I was engaged to a man from Europe. He was uncircumcised; it was not my first experience with an intact man. I loved it so much, and he was so gentle wi...
A. 4 October 2012: My current partner is circumcised and he is a very gentle and caring lover. Not a cervix boxer. My last sex partner was uncircumcised and he was a cervix boxer and absolutely awful in bed. There are guys who pound at you and guys who don't, it has ... (read in full...)
How can you trust someone enough to share all your flaws and secrets?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks and we're really connecting. I really like him and I think this might turn into something. But here's the thing, I haven't been in a relationship in three years. He just got out of a long-term one (a...
A. 4 October 2012: Trust comes with time. It has to be earned and gained, not just a conscious choice. It is just something that comes with spending time together. You wouldn't just go up to a coworker and say, "Hey we're best friends now," you'd have to be friends ... (read in full...)
We recently gave our virginity to each other but my boyfriend wants to wait before having sex again
Q. Hello everyone, My boyfriend and I (we are both 24) recently lost our virginity to each other. We talked about it together vaguely for about 2 months before, and seriously for about a month before we had sex. We have been seeing each other for a...
A. 4 October 2012: I think just keep going like everything is normal. Don't ask him about it, just keep up your relationship and let him keep being in love with you. That's the best thing you can do.
Next time he needs to be sure to grab the base of the condom a... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not want sex at all one week? Yet another week Sex is all I can think of?
Q. Is it normal to not want sex? Last week, it was all I could think about. And this week, I have no desire for it. I mean, sometimes people go through a dry spell, where they don't have sex for a long period of time. This is almost the same, I gues...
A. 4 October 2012: Yay hormones (sarcasm)! Totally normal. For instance for me, my sex drive peaks the week before my period and bottoms out the week after.... (read in full...)
Is physical pleasure the most important thing about sex and does sex turn men into horny, unthinking animals?
Q. I feel alienated from people because I don't believe in casual sex and favour intimacy over physical pleasure. I've been told that my views come from immaturity and that once I have sex everything will change and I will become nothing short of a sex ...
A. 4 October 2012: Most of the guys who act like jerks to get laid all the time aren't doing it because sex is amazing, they are doing it for their egos.
Having sex won't turn you into a sex-crazed animal, don't worry. Sex is not just a physical act, it's not just... (read in full...)
I'm starting a new job and I have no confidence, what do I do?
Q. I will soon be starting a new job that requires working with people all day. The only problem is I have zero self esteem and zero confidence. I don't like to join in conversations as I'm terrified i'll say something stupid and embarrass myself. I ...
A. 3 October 2012: I just started a new job too and it's very nerve wracking. I was sweating bullets before my first day, and so on top of worrying I would say something wrong, I also was worried I smelled bad. Plus I was replacing someone everyone liked, so they ... (read in full...)
I was ill and worried and acting kind of crazy with him. Did I ruin things?
Q. I've been dating a guy from work for the past 2.5 months. Things had been great up until 3 weeks ago. He started to become distant and I started to chase him. It took me about a week to realize that was what was happening and so I tried to back off. ...
A. 3 October 2012: I don't understand why you didn't tell him right from the start you were having a medical emergency. You could have said it and then said you don't want to get into it. There were many ways you could have said it without telling him specifics, but ... (read in full...)
When he walked by me and smiled I was in shock and didn't do anything. Do I ruin my chances?
Q. A guy I like who i didnt think even knew i existed, walked past me and smiled really nicely i was so shocked i didnt really do anything except gawk...now he won't even look at me and when i try to smile at him now he looks away as if on purpose :( ...
A. 3 October 2012: No, just go talk to him! After you've talked a few times, hint about some movie you want to see or something.... (read in full...)
I always have to prompt b/f to wear a condom. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, Hope you can help. I have recently started a new relationship with a guy. Now I am not very sexually experienced but know we have to be careful, so am on the pill. Everytime we slept together I have had to prompt my boyfriend to wear a condom...
A. 3 October 2012: "when asked claimed it was not deliberate."
Yes and when I didn't want to come home on time as a teenager I would tell my parents I didn't mean to be late, I just lost track of time. It was deliberate. Your boyfriend is at best incredibly care... (read in full...)
I always have to prompt b/f to wear a condom. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, Hope you can help. I have recently started a new relationship with a guy. Now I am not very sexually experienced but know we have to be careful, so am on the pill. Everytime we slept together I have had to prompt my boyfriend to wear a condom...
A. 3 October 2012: You remember the Assange case? This was what one of the women was alleging, that she had consented to sex with a condom, but not to sex without a condom. So yes, not using a condom when you'd agreed to is a bfd.
A lot of guys don't like condoms.... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 2 October 2012: It's no different from any other form of masturbation, just a difference in how she gets there. The way you hold your penis when you masturbate doesn't affect anything either. If masturbation was ever in contest with your sex life it wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
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