A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I ve met this really nice guy, who I date now for 6 months.He is everything any woman can wish for: handsome, has a good job, good natured, we managed not to have a single fight, gentleman. But, I can't believe I m actually saying it, he is very boringIt's like he has no passion. He goes to Gym, I can't even call it hobby, and that's it. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, which is good, but he also has no interest of going to a bar or some nite venue to listen to music.Sometimes we go to a concert, may be 3 times we went. He has a few friends and cousins, so sometimes they have little parties, so we went there few times.His parents have dinner at their house every Sunday, he is a good son, so he goes every Sunday. I go with him too but may be once a month.He doesn't read anything or has any hobbies whatsoever. I have so much going in my life that I can't believe what a boring life in my eyes he has.All he likes to do after work is watch tv. O, I forgot, on Saturdays he goes to the beach and lays there without moving literally for 8 hours.Also the man doesn't talk, like at all. He Just doesn't like talking. Everytime I open my mouth I feel like he is going to be annoyed in a second.He wants a family, children, I just don't know if I can do it with him.He is great un bed, caring, passionate and wild sometime, but is it enough?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (25 October 2012):
 He doesn't sound boring, he just sounds like he enjoys spending time in different ways from you. That can work well, opposites attract, but it can be bad. In your case it sounds like it's just causing you to be frustrated (and probably him too). You've only been together for 6 months. If you don't enjoy his company now, you won't enjoy it in 5 years either.
Regardless of whether his activities sound like a catch to other people, they aren't compatible with your vision of how you want to spend time. Like while a homebody is ideal for one person, if one person enjoys snuggling on the couch while the other wants to spend every weekend backpacking, there's probably going to be a problem.
It sounds like you also don't do well talking/conversing. It doesn't mean either of you is socially awkward, but if that spark isn't there and that comfort, there is going to be a problem.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): so basically you have decided he is boring because he doesnt want to do the things you like/want to do.
he likes the gym, he likes being with his family, he likes watching tele.
so he does do stuff. just stuff you dont like.
cool. leave him, and hopefully he will find someone who understands you dont have to be a clone of your partner to be compatible.
in the meantime you will write back and tell us how you found someone really exciting and loves doing many things - but treats you like crap.
enjoy - life as a fickle person ends up pretty shitty, trust me i know
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 October 2012):
 Six months is not a long time to develop shared interests. But in a good relationship you will develop some shared interests and some time to develop pastimes that you enjoy alone. Perhaps he meditates on the beach.
I have though seem couples time and time again who start off passionate together but who drift apart as their own connection is purely the sex they find they have no common interests and no inclination to develop some shared activities.
And when this happens the couple seem to get more despondent and start to look not as happy and they look sad or frazzled or not right together.
Whereas couples who share interests and enjoy learning new skils and have an open mind as they develop a synergy together
So my theory is that nerd or rock star or pillar of society if the true connection is not there the couple will not develop that happy countenance.
Whereas I have seen very ordinary couples Grow and Glow with Happiness as they strive to make goals together. The word if that Bill Gates was a nerd. I have no doubt that he probably confides in her and finds delight in her. They seem to look better together every photo one sees of them together.
Paul Newman (actor and Pasta sauce fame) and his wife similarly seemed to grow old and happy together.
Choose a man you adore. Make sure he is the one. And when you do connect make sure you do share similar interests, value and attitudes and interests. Hobbies are important. 4
But the next 60 years staring at the TV? No thanks
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A
male
reader, xtc +, writes (20 October 2012):
At 30-35 you need to start thinking whether you are willing to compromise or whether you want to be single for the rest of your life.
Sounds like you may not be the settling down kind, which is fine.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (19 October 2012):
 Hi,
Sadly he is not the one for you. He sounds great and a good catch for a woman. But, he is not the one for you at this time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2012):
 He sounds PERFECT for me... but clearly he's not for you...
If you are bored you will not be happy in the long run...
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 October 2012):
I also need a guy I can talk to and have fun with. If I can't do that I don't see the point in being with him. Do yourself and this guy a favor and break up with him. He wants to settle and have a family. In your heart you already know that's not going to be with you, so let him go. He's not the right guy for you and you shouldn't settle for anyone who doesn't make you happy.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 October 2012):
 If he's boring then obviously he isn't what every girl would dream of. Because as far as I know, no woman is happy with a boring man, unless she is equally boring.
There's a fine line between things, you can still be stable, secure etc, yet be passionate, exiting and so on.
This guy doesn't read anything, doesn't have any hobbies, no passions. I mean come on. He's NOT every womans dream. Women get off on intellect as well as body you know... If a man doesn't read, doesn't educate himself, doesn't seek to discover new things, then what sort of conversation can you have with him? How his day was? Talk about the weather? Oh yes, that's sexy.
You're saying "he's nice" here just as an excuse. Sure, he's not a bad person. And sure, he can be nice enough. But he isn't for you. The "nice" is just a good foundation, if he can't top it off with a great personality then who cares. This is a "good on paper" guy who is utterly boring when it comes to it.
He's not for you. And I don't blame you, I can't think of any woman who would be interested in a passionless man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2012): If you don't want him I know plenty of women that will. No disrespect to you but in my opinion his positives far exceed his negatives.
I learned something that has helped me in realizing things in relationships/marriages. The 80/20 rule. 80% is all your going to get in any type of relationships. If all your getting is 20% then absolutely leave.
If your getting 80% then you might want to reconsider.
At the end of the day, it is your decision. If you're not happy, then you need to seek out your own personal happiness. That is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (18 October 2012):
 He does sound like a really nice genuine guy, but maybe at this stage in your life he is not what you are looking for. the negatives far supersede the positives here and thats not good for any relationship. Maybe you should consider letting him go and look for someone who rocks your world a little more.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 October 2012):
He's clearly not the guy for you. He will be for someone else, so it's best to let hi go, and find someone who is more suitable for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2012): I don't know how wierd this is going to sound,but when you described him I felt like you were describing me.I'm like the female version of this guy,except I don't go to the beach and lay there without moving for 8 hours lol..
He seems like quite the catch,I think if you need someone fun more active,then don't waste his time..!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 October 2012):
 I don't think it's possible to have it all, he does sound great though, maybe you should let him go so you can find someone more stimulating.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 October 2012):
 It doesn't sound like it's ENOUGH for you. Might be for another woman.
Honestly though, he sounds like a keeper to me. But I may have quite a different taste in men then you do.
As I see it, NEVER settle.
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