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age
41-50,
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writes: I've been dating the same fellow for a couple of years now and the last number of months has giving me grown concern and I'm not sure how to approach or even handle this situation. I've always known that he has had tendencies to watch porn and booty shake videos on YouTube. But over the summer I came across pictures he secretly took of girls under the tables at the library on his phone and he was also downloading chat applications on his cell phone. I've confronted him about these and dealt with it. Or so I thought. As now I see that he is searching up beastiality on the internet. I really feel like he has a porn addiction and it's escalating. I've point blank asked him if he has a problem but he denies it and chalks it up to curiosity and normal. He doesn't know that I know about his now beastiality 'curiosity' . How should I approach this with him?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 October 2012):
 OMG. Listen to me really carefully:
THIS IS NOT A PORN ADDICTION!!
He is a violator of women. He is a cerebral rapist.
In porn, the women make the choice to take off their clothes. They are compensated for putting on a show. It is consensual, and these women are fully aware and intend for strangers to respond sexually to their images and video.
Your boyfriend is violating unknowing women, exposing them to his sexual exertions and risking their pictures. What he has done is against many laws -- it's a felony. Add that to his enjoying bestiality, and you're seeing something way beyond pornography. It's not a far stretch to being turned on by child porn.
You need to get away from him. What kind of things has he done to you without your knowledge?
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 October 2012):
 Your boyfriend is SEVERELY violating other women's fit to privacy. That's horrifying sexual predator behavior and you need to leave immediately. On top of that he enjoys watching animals be raped (they cannot consent to sex). There is a reason that's illegal. He is beyond the help you can offer, he needs professional help and probably won't seek it until he's hit bottom. You don't want to be there when he does.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis  +, writes (26 October 2012):
 I think porn addiction and booty shaking is the least of your worries as far as this guy is concerned. I would run away from him as fast as you can. This guy is a serious concern.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2012): "How do I raise my concerns so he'll listen?"
You can't. You can only raise your concerns, as you already have.
He doesn't think he has a problem, and so he won't listen to you, as he already hasn't.
"I really feel like he has a porn addiction and it's escalating."
He doesn't agree with you and so he doesn't agree with you.
You can either dump him because you really feel like he has a porn addiction and it's escalating, or else you can choose to stay with him because he really feels like he doesn't have a problem.
No other option.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 October 2012):
Approach him!?? You should be running in the opposite direction! The first red flag was worrying enough - taking photos under the tables on his phone? That's pretty weird and pervy to be honest.
The second red flag was even worse - chat applications for his cell phone?? Who's he talking to exactly, because it isn't friends.
And finally, the biggest red flag of all - searching actual videos of people having sex with animals?? That is the sign of a pretty sick mind.
I do really think that you can do better than this man.
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