A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This may be odd...but i need help. I met this guy at the beginning of my senior year, same age as me, and we obviously liked each other. We hung out once at his house and chilled and almost kissed. Then a week later he got into a relationship that lasted for about 7 months. I moved on..but now he's single and he started flirting with me again. We've hung out multiple times and kissed a few times...but..He told me that he wants this to be a friends with benefits sort of thing. :/ I never gave him a solid answer on how i feel about that because i don't want to lose him as a friend. So every time we hang out i try to ease my way out of getting too close to him but he hasn't caught on. I am no longer attracted to him in a sexual or flirty way. How could i let him down without losing him all together??
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flirt, friend with benefits, no longer attracted Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 October 2012):
 He isn't interested in your friendship he wants a place to park his penis whenever he feels like without having any obligations like he would in a friendship or a relationship.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 October 2012):
 If all he wants is casual sex, that should mean he doesn't have any emotional attachment and he won't be hurt if you turn him down. That's the whole point of FWB. If you turn him down and he doesn't want to be friends any,ore, then you were never friends to begin with. There's nothing in your response that can possibly make or break your friendship. He's the one who put your friendship in jeopardy, not you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2012): "I want to be friends, he wants a FWB"
Then he doesn't want to be your friend, and you shouldn't want him to be your friend.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 October 2012):
 You already lost him as a friend. Because he decided he wanted more, and he doesn't value your friendship as more important than the chance to have casual sex. In other words, he's not exatcly a true friend of yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2012): Well, at least he was honest about wanting a FWB relationship and didn't lead you a merry old dance. That would have been far worse.FWB is basically sex without any commitment to that other person, so if someone he perceived as 'better' came along he would drop you, and vice versa, and that's all well and good if you're 100% happy with such an arrangement, but in my experience that kind of thing usually gets messy. Someone usually starts to want more from the arrangement and someone gets hurt.You're not sexually attracted to him anymore to tell him you just want to be friends only. If he's interested in being a genuine friend then he'll respect that. If you lose his friendship by telling him this then it didn't exist in the first place and he'd only have been using you for sex - in which case you'll have lost nothing. Good luck. x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 October 2012):
 why would you want to keep him as a friend if all he wants is sex?
if all he sees you as is his masturbatory device then he has no respect for you.
if you are hanging out at his place STOP IT. And do NOT invite him to your place. ONLY hang out with him in public.
I am betting you will find that if you are not going to his place he is not interested in hanging out....
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (26 October 2012):
 HI
I would just say that it's great your friends, and a good job that's all you are as you would'nt want to loose the friendship, simple as that. Personally I feel the only reason he wants to be FWB is because his not that into you, harsh but true. I bet if another girl who catch's his eye comes along he will be in a relationship with her. Tke this as great escape , who wants to be used for someone elses pleasure anyway! Good luck.
Mandy x
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