| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Is it illegal to watch porn online?
Q. Ok now i no im about to sound stupid but... a couple of weeks ago and again last night i watched porn on an online site( strictly adult couples nothing wrong or sick ect ) I dont know why I watched it, I think it was just curiosity but it suddenly ...
A. 15 November 2012: As long as you're over 18 and the people you watched are over 18, it's not illegal.... (read in full...)
How do you deal with losing someone who made you genuinely happy when you did nothing to cause the distance?
Q. Thank u in advance for ur help. So i had a female friend who i have been getting along with since September. We would see and talk to one another at least twice a week. I had feelings for her but since it was a great connection i let it play itself ...
A. 15 November 2012: Took me months to get over the guy I liked. No it's not too late, but the longer you wait...... (read in full...)
How much do you normally spend on Christmas gifts for in laws and parents?
Q. I have a question regarding Christmas gift giving. How much do you typically spend on parents and in laws for Christmas? I can only really use my own family and my husbands family as examples and we do things pretty differently so I'm curious what ...
A. 14 November 2012: Your inlaws won't be impressed by you throwing money around, they will be impressed by you thinking to get them something at all. My bf's mom sends us boxes and boxes of this horrible candy that we both hate and even though we wound up throwing it ... (read in full...)
Questions for the ladies-- set 2
Q. Hey ladies, set 2: Question 4: Have you ever fantasised about one of your boyfriends/ husbands friends? My answer: Once or twice Question 5: Do you secretly watch porn behind your mans back? Well we know a lot of men do this and try to kee...
A. 14 November 2012: Question 4: Have you ever fantasised about one of your boyfriends/ husbands friends?
I can't remember, but probably not, he doesn't have attractive friends.
Question 5: Do you secretly watch porn behind your mans back? Well we know a lot of men d... (read in full...)
How much do you normally spend on Christmas gifts for in laws and parents?
Q. I have a question regarding Christmas gift giving. How much do you typically spend on parents and in laws for Christmas? I can only really use my own family and my husbands family as examples and we do things pretty differently so I'm curious what ...
A. 14 November 2012: It all depends on what you can afford. When I had almost no money in college I gave my parents things that cost maybe $20, but were very thoughtful (or came up with ideas for the expensive things and put my name on the card when my other parents ... (read in full...)
I left my wife for a woman half my age. Now I hear crap like she will leave me one day, how do I stop it and what do I do if she does leave?
Q. let me start out by saying that i usually dont need advice but im truly upset. i am 49 cheated on my wife with a girl half my age, left my wife for her, got a divorce, got engaged, and now im going to be a father for the first time, to my own child. ...
A. 14 November 2012: I agree with SVC 100%.... (read in full...)
How do you deal with losing someone who made you genuinely happy when you did nothing to cause the distance?
Q. Thank u in advance for ur help. So i had a female friend who i have been getting along with since September. We would see and talk to one another at least twice a week. I had feelings for her but since it was a great connection i let it play itself ...
A. 13 November 2012: I had a similar situation in college. I wound up spending the night in bed with a guy I liked and he didn't make a move at all. I had already made the first, second, third, and fourth moves, so I assumed (wrongly) that he wasn't interested. We ... (read in full...)
Is there anyway a doctor could diagnose me without having to touch me down there?
Q. hi all, this is going to be a weird/awkward/gross question... but, I don't know where else to ask. I vaguely remember this... when I was probably 11 or so, I found a sort of sex toy or maybe a ring thing that would go around the guy and it vibra...
A. 13 November 2012: I REALLY doubt that any of this is related to masturbation. It sounds like something completely unrelated is wrong. I think you should both see a doctor and seek therapy. Sometimes things cause severe anxiety and it's hard to figure out why. A ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps stopping just when I'm about to climax!
Q. My boyfriend finds it hard to make me come. I find him sexy in bed, so that is not a problem. I need oral stimulation as well as nipple stimulation at the same time to reach climax and I have told him but just when he does that and i'm about to...
A. 13 November 2012: Whoa. That update changes a LOT of things. I definitely agree with the anon poster who said he has a mental disorder. I don't know what his game is, but that is borderline emotional abuse. Breaking up with you and saying you have to "prove ... (read in full...)
Our female room mate who has a crush on my boyfriend walked by our room naked last night!
Q. So this situation is kind of awkward. My bf and I recently got a new roommate. She is fine most of the time, but she kind of had/has a crush on my bf (he thought she was cute in the past, but is totally over it), and used to flirt with him a lot. I ...
A. 13 November 2012: "I know that just walking by naked isn't exactly a come-on"
Not so sure about that, seems like one to me. I've had male roommates before and there's no way I would ever walk past them naked.
You should get a new roommate, this woman is bad news ... (read in full...)
Watching Pornography in a relationship. Is it unfair or fun?
Q. Hi, i want to ask this question and i want your opinions. I hate my boyfriends watching porn when they are having a relationship with me, what i wanted to know was is there such thing as a man who is not that fussed by it? Who would just take it or ...
A. 13 November 2012: From the Kinsey institute about 25% don't watch. The numbers are highest among the under 18 group. There are absolutely men who don't watch. My boyfriend doesn't watch, he knows it's a complete dealbreaker for me. He didn't watch before we got ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my nervousness and do sexual things to my boyfriend?
Q. How can get over my nerves in the bedroom and get some confidence? I've been with my partner a while now and the sex is great between us, hes incredible at everthing he does and I want to return the favour but I get so nervous I chicken out. I feel ...
A. 13 November 2012: When it comes to handjobs, a lot of the pleasure just comes from the fact that you are touching him with your hands. It's just a turn-on that they aren't his hands, they are attached to a girl he finds attractive. If you don't plan on having sex ... (read in full...)
Masturbation Question
Q. Can i marstabate whilst on a period?...
A. 13 November 2012: Yes of course you can. Some women really enjoy the sensation because the extra blood flow to the area can make you feel more aroused than normal and there is extra lubrication. Just be sure to put something under you, like a dark towel.... (read in full...)
What is the best way to ask my boyfriend to touch my stomach when we are intimate?
Q. I am a big girl with many self-confidence issues. My boyfriend of two years tells me that he loves all of my curves, but almost avoids touching my stomach whenever we cuddle. What is the best way to ask him to touch my stomach when we are intimate?...
A. 13 November 2012: He probably is worried that he will make you feel self-conscious if he draws attention to it. The best way is to say "I just love when you touch me here" and pull his hand there.... (read in full...)
Kismet! Could this be it?
Q. Fate, coincidence, luck.... Please read, something happened to me and I would like your thoughts... So I was having a really tough couple of weeks with work, family and things going wrong with my house and the last straw was when I was getti...
A. 10 November 2012: Fate or not, you like each other so why not give it a go. My boyfriend and I met in a "fate-like" way, but I don't really believe in meant-to-be stuff. I don't see any reason to not go out with him, fate or not. Have fun!... (read in full...)
I want to marry my cousin. How do I tell the family?
Q. Ok.... So me and my cousin have been really good friends for a while and a few weeks ago I was messing around with her and we got on the subject of sex. So I asked her if I could turn her on would she wana consider having sex. She replied ya. So I ...
A. 10 November 2012: "you need to drop the idea of marriage for a while and invest in some condoms instead."
This, exactly. Regardless of whether she's your cousin or not, 17 is WAY WAY WAY too young to be married. Not just emotional maturity, but also you have no way ... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend's past cause him to have horrible dreams?
Q. It may not help that im a social worker my job is to notice this kind of thing but my long term boyfriend has horrendous dreams. These occur probably 60% of the time. He screams and cries and appears so distressed. When hes dreaming he struggles as ...
A. 10 November 2012: Something is causing it, regardless of when he needs to address it. I agree with Chigirl, record it and show it to him and explain that you're concerned about him and that it is impossible to sleep with him anywhere.... (read in full...)
Bizarre physical response to sexually stimulating thoughts, is it normal?
Q. Hi there, I just have a question about sexual response... I am a normal 21 year old female, and fully sexually functional, but I seem to experience this odd physical response to sexual thoughts. I could be in a completely un-aroused state of m...
A. 10 November 2012: Some women have random orgasms, are you actually having one?
The only time I get what you're describing is when I'm actually close to orgasm, not just aroused. Everyone is different though and I'm sure it's normal.... (read in full...)
Can I still get pregnant this way?
Q. so my boyfriend and I were not using protection, and I was on the second to last day of my period (there was still some blood). His penis did not go all of the way in, and he didn't ejaculate. When he did ejaculate, it was on my stomache.I waited ...
A. 9 November 2012: "Contrary to a somewhat popular belief, precum can contain sperm cells"
Yes but only if there is sperm in the urethra already from a recent previous ejaculation without urinating afterwards.
"there is a also a possibility that a woman sponta... (read in full...)
A few questions on Birth Control pills
Q. Okay, so this will be a few questions concerning birth control pills and its effectiveness. This is for my own purpose only, not for any scientific purposes. The subjects will be those of you who had or taking birth control pills, and have one part...
A. 9 November 2012: 1. Do you take it at exactly the same time everyday? If you missed the exact time, how many times do you think in a month that you stretch the time? (eg. must've take it at 9, but sometime 10 or 9:30)
For you, it depends on the pill. If you are on t... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend on dating sites, after calling me a slut and a stalker he then claims it was a virus!
Q. I have found out my boyfriend has been going on dating sites. When I asked him about it he went mad at me and started calling me a stalker, said I dont trust him because I myself am not to be trusted, called me a slut and then turned it around to ...
A. 9 November 2012: Calling you a slut and a stalker because HE'S the one cheating or wanting to cheat? This guy sounds volatile and like he has the potential to be emotionally or physically abusive. Get out before he starts to erode your self-esteem down.... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance of taking him away from his girlfriend?
Q. Me and a guy at my job has been having a secret relationship for about a year during this time the relationship is a secret everyone knows. He has a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend(me and my boyfriend broke up for un-related reasons) now im singlr ...
A. 9 November 2012: This guy is a weasel and he does not care about you. If he wanted to be with you he would leave his girlfriend and be with you. After a year, he has had hundreds of opportunities to do so but doesn't. He is using you for sex. You have to end this. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps stopping just when I'm about to climax!
Q. My boyfriend finds it hard to make me come. I find him sexy in bed, so that is not a problem. I need oral stimulation as well as nipple stimulation at the same time to reach climax and I have told him but just when he does that and i'm about to...
A. 9 November 2012: That's seriously bizarre. I'm wondering if it's a pat your head rub your belly kind of thing? It seems pretty physically difficult to stimulate your nipples WHILE giving oral, maybe you need to try stimulating your own nips while he goes down on ... (read in full...)
My first experiences with sex were horrible, and now I'm having intimacy issues.
Q. My first relationship seems to have scarred me in a lot of ways. At first I thought I was just weird but now that I am in another relationship I am scared by how much it is effecting mine and my boyfriend's life. Our sex life is so boring. With ...
A. 9 November 2012: I agree with Cerberus. You were in an abusive relationship and that is why you are frightened being touched by men (your dad also sounds like a sexist prick). You need to go talk to a counselor to work through this, you can't get the help you need ... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who gets cold sores?
Q. This is only a quick question but something which is seriously troubling me... Some opinions from you lovely people would be appreciated! There is this guy from work I really like, we really click, if anything was to happen between us I know I w...
A. 9 November 2012: "Person 12345 I'm sorry but your information is incorrect. I have Herpes simplex 1 also known as oral herpes on my genitals. I've never had a cold sore in my life but my husband gets them occasionally. During a time he had no symptoms he gave me ... (read in full...)
Can I still get pregnant this way?
Q. so my boyfriend and I were not using protection, and I was on the second to last day of my period (there was still some blood). His penis did not go all of the way in, and he didn't ejaculate. When he did ejaculate, it was on my stomache.I waited ...
A. 9 November 2012: "There IS some sperm in pre cum which is why the pull out method is not always effective."
There isn't unless there was already sperm in the urethra. There have been a lot of studies into this. If the man has ejaculated recently there is sperm stil... (read in full...)
My bf and I have opposing views on money management, and he wants to get married. What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We both 23 and our relationship is great. My parents like his personality, mature minded and responsible to me. Everyone can feel his love for me. Otherwise, he comes from a middle low class family and...
A. 8 November 2012: Money is still the number one cause of divorce so you are absolutely right to be thinking about this now.
I think before you get married you should give a trial run, where you set up a joint account and live together just to see what happens.... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have a problem with me wearing hair extensions?
Q. The guy i'm seeing seems to have a problem with me wearing extensions, it's just getting insulting and tiring now! I don't know whether to get them taken out? I got them in a few weeks ago and all my friends compliment me on my hair, even thoug...
A. 8 November 2012: Oh brother. Tell him to snap out of it! Most women are fake to some extent, why should he take offense at this? Does he think most women's boobs are really that round? Most women's lips are naturally shiny? Most women's cheeks are peach (seriously, ... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who gets cold sores?
Q. This is only a quick question but something which is seriously troubling me... Some opinions from you lovely people would be appreciated! There is this guy from work I really like, we really click, if anything was to happen between us I know I w...
A. 8 November 2012: Chances are you already have that form of herpes. 80% of the population does, but only 15% of people who have it get sores. You can always go to the doctor and they can tell you if you are carrying it.
Cold sores are a form of herpes, BUT! and... (read in full...)
Can I still get pregnant this way?
Q. so my boyfriend and I were not using protection, and I was on the second to last day of my period (there was still some blood). His penis did not go all of the way in, and he didn't ejaculate. When he did ejaculate, it was on my stomache.I waited ...
A. 8 November 2012: OK first thing, RELAX. You are not going to get pregnant. Water kills sperm pretty much immediately, so does air. The second the semen is dry, the sperm die. If they if they somehow magically survived the air, the water would kill them. Sperm are ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to find others unattractive even if you find only one person attractive?
Q. I asked these kind of questions in many different ways but i could't get satisfying answers so i'm asking in an easier way to understand.believe me or not i only find my husband attractive and beautiful and my husband says he feels the same way. But ...
A. 8 November 2012: No I do understand your question, you are saying that it would be weird to find women in general unattractive, but to find just you attractive. My original answer is the same. There are some people who cannot feel attracted to someone without being ... (read in full...)
How can we get our sex back on track so we're both climaxing?
Q. I'm a bit sexually frustrated. My husband doesn't last a long time in bed these days. When we used to have sex more frequently, it was rarely an occurrence, but now, he might last a minute or two, not enough time for me to climax. He's not into the ...
A. 8 November 2012: Like I said, this isn't a problem of a lack of "spice" it sounds like it is some kind of communication problem. I'm guessing something bigger is wrong in your relationship. Maybe there's something at work he's not telling you about (a stress thing, ... (read in full...)
My mother went through and cleaned my room without any warning. I feel violated, my dad says "get over it"!
Q. DearCupid Aunts, I need your opinion on something. I came home the other day to find that my mother had gone through my entire room, and cleaned it out. My drawers, all my laundry, several of my purses/backpacks, and private papers, had been...
A. 8 November 2012: I think I would take this boundary violation as a hint from your parents that they want you to get your own place. I would be extremely upset if my mom went through my drawers and such. I don't even live at home but some of my stuff is still there, ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if your husband encourages it?
Q. What should I do? My husband of almost ten years and I talk about everything. He knows exactly what I like and he satisfies me but I have been having a fantasy about being in a threesome. My husband likes the idea but doesn't think the other guy ...
A. 7 November 2012: Not cheating, but probably a terrible idea. I've almost never heard of a monogamous couple allowing others into the bedroom without disastrous results, sometimes even the death of an otherwise great relationship.
Fantasy and reality are two VERY... (read in full...)
How can we get our sex back on track so we're both climaxing?
Q. I'm a bit sexually frustrated. My husband doesn't last a long time in bed these days. When we used to have sex more frequently, it was rarely an occurrence, but now, he might last a minute or two, not enough time for me to climax. He's not into the ...
A. 7 November 2012: This sounds like a problem with communication then. It sounds like you've fallen into a rut where your husband just wants to get it over with rather than have fun and enjoy it and obviously you don't want to be used as just an alternative to his ... (read in full...)
STD query...
Q. If you have an STD are you 100% guaranteed to pass it on during unprotected sex? ...
A. 7 November 2012: No, nothing is ever 100% and all STDs are different. If you have an STD you need to see a doctor to get it cleared up and you should ALWAYS use protection. Certain STDs can be passed on even with proper condom use, such as herpes and HPV (you should ... (read in full...)
Housemate politics
Q. Me and my housemate are about to fall out. Basically - our front door lock broke and 3 out of 5 housemates got new keys for the new lock. 2 of us didn't. We had got back door keys cut before this (foresight) for ourselves just in case. So we weren...
A. 7 November 2012: Yeah you're probably right about it.
But it's REALLY silly to have a massive fight over such a tiny amount of money. You have to pick your battles. Do you really want to die on this hill over 1.50? I know it's the idea of it or whatever, but this... (read in full...)
Will my husband-to-be know that I've had sex before him?
Q. I had sexual relation with my friend. Now i am getting married. I am worried about that can my would be husband will know that i had realtion with someone before marriage....
A. 7 November 2012: There's no way he can tell unless you tell him.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend used to idolise his friend's body and she was skinny, yet he doesn't want me to get too thin! What is going on here?
Q. I am confused about the messages that my bf is sending me with his comments about weight. I recently lost 30 pounds, putting me now around 160 pounds. My bf is very proud of me, and seems to enjoy the changes in my body. I do too! I'm very excited ...
A. 7 November 2012: Your bf sounds like more than anything he is bad at telling what women weigh.
If you want to lose weight, do it for you and I'm sure he will find you attractive. Congratulations on losing 30 lbs! If you don't want to lose more weight, he already ... (read in full...)
Should I be having side effects now I'm on the pill?
Q. i'm on the pill and strangely I haven't experienced any side effects yet, people say you experience depression, mood swings, emotional, headaches, cramps and breast soreness, weight gain... yet i've been on it a month and I haven't had any of that, ...
A. 7 November 2012: Something like 70% experience side effects. You are in that lucky 30%. It definitely does not mean anything about its effectiveness. Once you've been on it either for 7 days, or immediately if you started the first day of your period, you are ... (read in full...)
How can we get our sex back on track so we're both climaxing?
Q. I'm a bit sexually frustrated. My husband doesn't last a long time in bed these days. When we used to have sex more frequently, it was rarely an occurrence, but now, he might last a minute or two, not enough time for me to climax. He's not into the ...
A. 7 November 2012: Did you used to orgasm from sex?
Several things, one even if you can't finish from other methods, get very close before having sex. That will definitely help. You can even warm yourself up with your own fingers and then call him in.
What he... (read in full...)
Is it normal to find others unattractive even if you find only one person attractive?
Q. I asked these kind of questions in many different ways but i could't get satisfying answers so i'm asking in an easier way to understand.believe me or not i only find my husband attractive and beautiful and my husband says he feels the same way. But ...
A. 1 November 2012: There's a big difference between finding your partner most attractive and thinking everyone else is ugly. It's abnormal, but not impossible. There are some people (there's a term for it, but I can't remember what it is) who can't find other people ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
