A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For at least the past 6 months I was coming across my boyfriend going on dating sites to chat to different women. Of course, he has always denied it and called me weird and neurotic. He knows that I know, so why won`t he tell me if there is something not there, or wrong in our relationship? Why does he keep on hurting me like this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (25 October 2012):
 Have you not thought of dumping him and getting someone who will treat and respect you better?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): You should think about what it implies. Why is he with you? Because he carnt get anyone else thats why. Dump him. You can do far far better. You need to love yourself and tell yourself you are far better. Also, they say once a date site member always a date site member. Move past it. It is him, not you.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (24 October 2012):
 Your boyfriend or husband keeps going on dating sites to date other women. What else are dating sites there for? He knows he is getting away with it and you wont leave, so he has nothing to lose. He`s not bothered about hurting you as long as he gets what he wants. In fact hurting you will be the last thing he is bothered about. If you don`t like it then leave. There is no other answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): the real question is why you think so little of yourself that you stay with him? he does not care about anything but himself and he is definately not relationship or marriage material.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Do you really believe you will be happy with that man? You are asking questions on here so he is already wearing you down. You need to wave goodbye to that dating site dream boy and find yourself some real potential elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (23 October 2012):
It`s unbelievable the amount of break ups that are happening because of attached people doing dating sites. I personally know someone who`s getting ready to divorce her husband because of them right now. There is not much to advise you, as his denial means you will never get to the bottom of his behavior. Maybe it would be better for you long term if you leave him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): oh boy. think yourself lucky that you have found out his true character. he is not even a successful cheat, he is a wannabe cheat. why do you think he`s on dating sites? because he cant get anybody. leave now because this time in 6 months you will have sorted yourself while he will still be on dating sites.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): This is a classic case of "the grass is greener" syndrome. He's most likely bored of the relationship (not saying you're boring), so now he's looking elsewhere. Many people make the mistake of getting into long term, monogamous relationships when they are simply not meant to. Some people are perfectly happy with one partner (like you), others are not.
Walk away, my friend. This won't get any better. He WILL continue to do this, whether you like it or not.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (23 October 2012):
 He keeps hurting you because you let him. He will never stop, he doesn't care about you, your feelings, or your marriage. He is waiting for you to end things because on top of being an uncaring, unfeeling narcissist, he is a coward. End things and move on.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (23 October 2012):
 He is on dating sites knowing that it hurts you. If he was someone worth keeping, he would neither want to hurt you or scout dating sites. Here is a suggestion, and that`s all it is. Leave him.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (23 October 2012):
 Hi
He keeps going on dating sites because he wants to, he knows you know and doesn't care.By still being around it means you accept this behaviour.
One day he will probably meet sombody and leave...do you want to still be around then?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (23 October 2012):
 He is waiting for you to do the breaking up so he doesn't have to feel guilty, it's one of the oldest male tricks in the book. If you choose to stay with him, he will see it as a sign that you are ok with his 'activities'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): He probably wants out of the relationship but doesn't have the balls to tell you. By continuously doing what he's doing, he hopes you'll see sense and walk away, leaving him to do as he pleases.
Maybe.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (23 October 2012):
If you let it carry on, you will end up "weird and neurotic" like he says you are. He calls you weird and neurotic to put you on the defensive and distract you from his hideous behavior. You are going to have to leave and there is no escaping that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): You have to make a stand. You will have to tell him if he does not stop cheating on you that you will leave him. You will have to mean what you say and be prepared to leave him if he dont stop. He is abusing and undermining you. In your situation I would have left him after the first time. Open your eyes.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 October 2012):
 Why won't he tell you? Well, he obviously think you believe his lies since you are STILL there.
For some people they assume when a partner sticks around that they can do whatever as long as they don't get caught. He got caught, lied and yet... YOU are still there.
My guess is he DOESN'T know what he is looking for, but he IS looking for greener grass. No one signs up for dating sites for shits and grins.
My questions is.. WHY are you still with him? Waiting for the other shoe to drop?
IF he IS on dating sites chatting to other women and he IS lying about it, WHY are you still there? Do you think he will suddenly realize that he has a great woman right there (as in you) and stop? I don't think he will.
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