| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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We dated a week, he went to afghanistan for 8 months and I don't know what will happen in that space of time!
Q. So I have this dilemma.. I recently met a guy that I have fallen completely head over heals for, and from my understanding, he has completely fallen for me too. The problem is, he is in the army, and was deployed to Afghanistan a couple days ago. ...
A. 22 November 2012: I think 1 week is too soon to try an 8 month long long distance monogamous relationship. I'm a bit concerned that if you keep emailing you won't be able to live your life, but if you don't want to throw in the towel yet, go ahead, keep emailing, but ... (read in full...)
I panic when husband and I have sex and we have to stop. I haven't been abused, why am I like this?
Q. I've been married for a few months now, and I love him to death. The only problem is, I'm terrified of having sex. Like, i enjoy it when we start, but after a few moments i just start to panic. I get shaky and start crying and we have to stop. Why ...
A. 22 November 2012: Phobias are extensions of anxiety disorders. So what you are actually suffering from is general anxiety rather than a specific fear (though it manifests as a phobia). Many with phobias will have the phobia "migrate" from thing to thing a few times ... (read in full...)
Ladies only please: My partner makes stupid remarks about age and offends alot of our customers. Am I just being too sensitive?
Q. I m pissed. Ladies opinions please, as I understood that in this question men are no help, sorry. My business partner who is a guy makes stupid in my eyes comments and asked out customers questions that simply inappropriate. For example, 2 older w...
A. 22 November 2012: "Too sensitive" is just another form of what's known as gaslighting. Where basically a man behaves in a sexist way, or just a bad way in general, the woman calls him on it, and makes her feel like she is the one with the issue.
http:... (read in full...)
I panic when husband and I have sex and we have to stop. I haven't been abused, why am I like this?
Q. I've been married for a few months now, and I love him to death. The only problem is, I'm terrified of having sex. Like, i enjoy it when we start, but after a few moments i just start to panic. I get shaky and start crying and we have to stop. Why ...
A. 22 November 2012: You need to go talk to a counselor. You sound like you have a phobia. Sometimes they appear "out of nowhere" and for no apparent reason. Have you ever had a phobia of anything before? Even a small one? Not being scared, but the kind of thing where ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by his text. I thought he wasn't interested but friends say I'm reading too much into it?
Q. Guys are so very confusing! I haven't actually "dated" in the past five years (being in an on-off relationship) but 3 days ago I met a nice fella online and met him up. We had dinner, drinks, and decided to go to a movie. On our way to the movie, he ...
A. 21 November 2012: My guess is that he's seeing someone else and is waiting to see if things go well with her or not.
I could be wrong, it's not really a strong feeling, but it sounds like he doesn't dislike you, but wants you on the back burner.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he's still using the website we met on to talk to others?
Q. About 3 or so months ago, I started talking to a boy on the internet (a website called Tagged) we get on really well and are the same age. We talk pretty much every night on Skype/Facebook and sometimes text eachother during the day too. And be...
A. 21 November 2012: If you haven't even met yet, there's no reason for him to be taking down his profile.
Even though you know someone who knows him, you should use some common sense when you do meet him.
For instance, meet in a public place with lots of people a... (read in full...)
Was she trying to hint that I should ask this girl out asap?
Q. I met this girl early september and we were friends from the first week really. We see each other every few days as we have classes together and we do spend a fair bit of spare time in between together too just chatting etc. I did feel as if she s...
A. 21 November 2012: Does she have to smack you over the head with it? Just ask her out already, if you like her (I'm not sure from your question). She invited you to the movies with her because she was nervous to ask you out and thought a group date would seem less ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? How can I deal with this issue? He regards his family as a higher priority over our relationship.
Q. I am in my late twenties and my boyfriend is in his mid thirties. We have been together for 4 years and discussed getting married. One of the issues I have, however, is his relationship with his family. Every Tuesday, he has dinner at his paren...
A. 21 November 2012: It's one night a week, it's really not a big deal. Like Cindycares, what if he was taking a class instead? Or some guys have a weekly guys night (like a poker night used to be pretty common). It's just a weekly event, nothing more. He's not devoting ... (read in full...)
I want him to tell me about his past relationships, but I don't want to appear paranoid
Q. I worry a lot. I've never been in a relationship before and I've been dating a guy for some weeks now and we both have feelings for each other, he's tried to kiss me but I didn't go for it and I don't really want to till I know more about him. I ...
A. 21 November 2012: I agree with the first anon poster, you should NOT ask for more info. You might think you want to know, but you are going to drive yourself crazy. Retroactive jealousy can kill your relationships completely and make it impossible to feel happy with ... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 20 November 2012: "You took his third betrayal as a kick in the ass to jumpstart your relationship somehow , including sleeping with other people- frankly, I'd see it as a kick in the ass to make me see it's over and done and it's time to move on."
Agreed.
Thi... (read in full...)
Does evidence on his boxers mean he is cheating?
Q. I saw dry sperm stain on my hubby boxer amd he toil me when ever he urinates sperm comes out from his body. Am not happy because he has not make love to me for a long time and I feel he is cheating on me....
A. 19 November 2012: "when ever he urinates sperm comes out from his body."
That's not even a good lie... That cannot happen. Unless he has some really weird illness, that cannot happen. I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was masturbating and emba... (read in full...)
How do I dress for a date at the pub?
Q. i have a date next friday night, we're going to the pub and i don't know how i should dress for it? I don't want to look too over-dressed, but i don't want to look like i haven't made the effort either! I was thinking of skinny jeans and a simple ...
A. 19 November 2012: Dress more casually for sure. Surely you must have a set of plain jeans and a t shirt that you know makes you look amazing. Skip heels.
For hair if it's long wear it down and in those kind of "supermodel waves."
Makeup, wear it a bit darker tha... (read in full...)
Am I really the bad guy here??
Q. I have two relatives that got pregnant on purpose knowing they had no way to support these babies.. Then to top that off they got pregnant again. They both have two kids living off the Gov for their housing and every other benefit they can get ...
A. 19 November 2012: Stop watching Fox news (they are the only ones who use the term "government handouts") and grow an empathy bone. She's not getting pregnant to get government money because there just isn't much.
If she is alone with two kids, what is she supposed... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had anal with me without asking first. Should I be freaked out?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and love each other very much. We're very serious and have been making plans live together this summer. We have a great sex life-- we've very open with each other and I trust hi...
A. 18 November 2012: "It's not sexual assault OP"
It is. This is not like "playing with someone's nipples" without asking first, it's penetration without consent. Having sex in one place does not mean it's OK to have sex in another. If a woman gives you permission to h... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant having sex while on my period, even if I use a condom?
Q. So I got my period this weekend (Saturday 17/11/2012) by Thursday (22/11/2012) it will end. Okay so my question is can i get pregnant if i have sex using a condom (one or a few days after my period ended)? I'm still a virgin and i'm not on the pill ...
A. 18 November 2012: Condoms, when used correctly, can prevent pregnancy on their own regardless of what part of your cycle you are at. If you are planning to have sex be sure to use a condom. He should put it on before penetration and make sure there is a small amount ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had anal with me without asking first. Should I be freaked out?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and love each other very much. We're very serious and have been making plans live together this summer. We have a great sex life-- we've very open with each other and I trust hi...
A. 18 November 2012: You're feeling confused and upset because what just happened was sexual assault. He violated you. He has no respect for you, your boundaries, or your sexual autonomy. How do you think he would feel if you were having sex and you just randomly put a ... (read in full...)
I was sexually abused and now don't want to be touched or kissed by men. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I have had a boyfriend for a few weeks now and he wants to be intimate with me. The problem is I really don't like being touched or even kissed. I have suffered from sexual abuse a few years ago, which might be a factor. But when I had boyfriends ...
A. 18 November 2012: This is extremely common among victims of sexual abuse and you need to seek professional counseling to get past it. You absolutely can get past it, you just need to be patient and willing to work during your therapy. You also need a partner you can ... (read in full...)
Will the doctor be able to tell that I was sexually active a month ago?
Q. Okay so, I know this may not be the right place for this. But, I really need and answer. Alright so my parents are taking me Tuesday to get a Pap and get me on birth control. My only worry is that my parents said they're gonna have my doctor check ...
A. 18 November 2012: No the doctor can't tell, only if your hymen is broken. Even if the doctor could know, they cannot tell your parents.... (read in full...)
In the UK can you date your step sister?
Q. is it against the law for you and your step sister to be boyfriend and girlfriend in the uk...
A. 18 November 2012: No, but it's a TERRIBLE idea in every possible sense.... (read in full...)
I'm have sexual problems with my Bf and if I try to discuss it he gets sulky - so should I stay?
Q. Ok, this is a bit complicated but I will try my best... I am 30 and have a boyfriend who is 32. We have been together for a year and a half now. Started as friends and FWB and it wasn't supposed to go further then that but we get along very w...
A. 18 November 2012: "like barely 5 inches"
How is that small?
I was all prepared to come on here and say he's acting like a child, etc... etc... but you sound like you have some really unreasonable expectations. 5-7 minutes isn't short, it's actually longer ... (read in full...)
I don't understand the big deal about men watching porn.
Q. this is a genuine honest question that i can't seem to understand. I've seen many questions on here about girls who are unhappy that their boyfriends watch porn. Thing is, I don't ask my boyfriend if he does because I assume he does for his own ...
A. 18 November 2012: "How many men do you know think small breasts are a deal breaker? They have no effect on the physical act at all, only an aesthetic thing." Plenty, also plenty of guys who won't go out with women because their breasts are too big or the color of... (read in full...)
Do people really need porn to be stimulated or is it just an excuse to look at someone naked?
Q. I have a question about porn, do they really need it to get stimulated or is it just an excuse to look at someone else during a relationship? Is that why some people don't request a picture of their partners to use? ...
A. 18 November 2012: Somewhere between a quarter and a third of men don't watch porn, don't let anyone tell you that all men watch.... (read in full...)
I feel ashamed that I have let him have such power over me. Please help me!!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years. I know he is probably a good person, but he makes me so sad most of the time. He literally critiques almost everything I do. Just to make sure I wasn't crazy, which he frequently tells me I am, I started ...
A. 18 November 2012: You need to leave him. What you are describing is emotional abuse. He puts you down because it allows him to control you. Pushing and shoving and screaming are NOT OK ways to "communicate" with your partner. Leave him. You are not crazy, he is the ... (read in full...)
I have a sickness phobia.
Q. Hiya Everyone, I have a phobia of sickness I have never understood where it has come from or why it is me that has it? It used to be really bad when I was younger, I know it sounds really stupid but a boy was sick over my table in a class th...
A. 17 November 2012: You have something called emetophobia. It's a debilitating phobia for sure and seems to often be severe more than other phobias. Basically phobias stem from anxiety disorders and in order to treat a phobia, you need to learn how to cope with ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar?
Q. Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar? I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, and in my googling I have read many, many warnings from people who have dated bipolar people to steer clear of us. I have al...
A. 17 November 2012: As long as they had it under control, either through therapy, medication, or a combination, I would if I really liked them. Most of the people I know with bipolar disorder have more issues with things like keeping a job, keeping control of money, ... (read in full...)
What is this bad smell coming from my arm pits? I clean but it is still there, help!
Q. It comes from my arm pits. It is not as bad-smelling as sweat. But, it does still stink. Could it be my own personal scent? If so, why am I picking it up? I can smell it evdnafter having taking a shower. And, yes, I clean both arm pits with soap. ...
A. 17 November 2012: I forgot, since you're a guy. You should also definitely either shave or at least trim the hair. Your hair is there to trap your stink. If there's no hair, there's less for any sweat/bacteria to stick to. Lots of guys shave their pits for that ... (read in full...)
I don't understand the big deal about men watching porn.
Q. this is a genuine honest question that i can't seem to understand. I've seen many questions on here about girls who are unhappy that their boyfriends watch porn. Thing is, I don't ask my boyfriend if he does because I assume he does for his own ...
A. 17 November 2012: "You see so when his girlfriend looks at porn of big dicks it's pointing out a very real physical flaw."
Sorry there is no difference whatsoever between this and women feeling insecure about larger breasts or flatter stomachs. Just because you say ... (read in full...)
I flirt with my wife's slutty friends. Could this be a reason for her going cold on me?
Q. My wife has friends who are slutty and easy but when we go out I tend to flirt with them and carry on like i'm interested, but really I only like the thought and sometimes the occasional petting. I dont want my wife to freak if I'm ever caught in a...
A. 17 November 2012: "dude you're lucky she hasn't castrated you with her bare hands."
Just about.
"Referring to women as 'slutty' in this day and age is derogatory, bigoted and vile."
Yup.
If your wife was on here asking about you, I'd tell her to divorce you ... (read in full...)
I'm sixteen, she's thirteen. Is this too much age difference?
Q. Hey I'm 16 years old. I just came back from hoilday with my mate and his family. Throughout the hoilday I started to get more attracted to his sister. Problem is she is 13 and I'm 16. Her personality is what I like in a girl everything she like I do ...
A. 17 November 2012: 3 is nothing when you're an adult, like over 20. 13 is still a child, 16 is not. That is WAY too young. If you still like her when she's 16 then go for it. ... (read in full...)
Dated for about a year and we have not shared "I Love You"s
Q. We are both 20 years old in college, and have been in long term (2 yrs lasting) relationships in the past. In a month will be our 1 year anniversary and we have not said I love yous or anything. Everything is still kept really light between us. Is ...
A. 17 November 2012: Yes it probably is. If you didn't feel it by now, you likely won't.... (read in full...)
Would it be too forward to give this very attractive guy in the Boots shop my phone number?
Q. Hey, I'm 16 years old and I have a need for a bit of light hearted advice. I was served by a guy in Boots who was incredibly attractive but seemed modest at the same time. It may sound cringey but we were laughing together and embarrassing ours...
A. 17 November 2012: Sure, why not? Nothing at all to lose. The worst that happens is he doesn't call and it's not as though you have to see him daily. Very low risk situation. He can't really ask you for your number or ask you out because he could get fired so it's on ... (read in full...)
What is this bad smell coming from my arm pits? I clean but it is still there, help!
Q. It comes from my arm pits. It is not as bad-smelling as sweat. But, it does still stink. Could it be my own personal scent? If so, why am I picking it up? I can smell it evdnafter having taking a shower. And, yes, I clean both arm pits with soap. ...
A. 16 November 2012: If it's there RIGHT after showering it could just be your soap not cleaning well. Try switching to a body wash instead and try roll on deodorants.... (read in full...)
Do any girls have good suggestions for longer lasting hair removal that will make my hair softer?
Q. Hello, this is one for the Aunts. I have been using a basic razor for all hair removals and occansionally I use hair removal creams. Do any of you girls have better suggestions for a softer, cleaner, longer lasting shave for legs, underarm...
A. 16 November 2012: I stopped getting rid of my pubic hair and started trimming it neatly, that made it much softer. Itchy when it's growing out, but once it is it's much nicer.
Leg hair, I don't really have much of any so I can't offer much advice. I just let the ... (read in full...)
Do people really need porn to be stimulated or is it just an excuse to look at someone naked?
Q. I have a question about porn, do they really need it to get stimulated or is it just an excuse to look at someone else during a relationship? Is that why some people don't request a picture of their partners to use? ...
A. 16 November 2012: Anyone who NEEDS it has an addiction.
It's not exactly an excuse to look at others naked, that's not why it's appealing. Why it's appealing is the same reason why just photos of a girlfriend wouldn't work. Our brains LOVE novelty. Which is why p... (read in full...)
Do we keep the baby and give up our dreams of going abroad?
Q. Hi, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I am 32 years old, just married to the most amazing man ever: we are very much in love. Today I found out I am pregnant, despite being on birth control (how is that even possible?). Anyway...
A. 16 November 2012: I think if this is not a good time for you to have a baby/having one will interfere with your life, then there is nothing wrong with an abortion. If you want it, keep it. If you are dreading having a child right now, then don't keep it.
You s... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to stop playing with my hair? He's caused a lot of it to fall out!
Q. Ok this is a stupid question but I need as many suggestions as possible. My boyfriend always plays with my hair and I need him to stop. He does it without thinking, in the car, in his sleep, laying in his arms watching tv, at the cinema, sitting ...
A. 16 November 2012: I have long wavy/curly hair too and my boyfriend is NOT allowed to play with it or it gets frizzy and tangled. He doesn't remember very well when I tell him, so I just grab his wrists and move his hands away when he tries. Not a big deal. Just move ... (read in full...)
I get sick when I give blowjobs and swallow but husband wants me to do it!
Q. My husband wanted me to try swallowing when i give him a blowjob. Ive tried before but the thought makes me feel really sick and when i tried it i was sick which was pretty embarrasing/horrible. Its nothing personal to my husband its just not ...
A. 16 November 2012: So don't do it. Have him finish in you, or use your hands with some lube. No amount of sex "novelty" is worth making yourself sick over! ... (read in full...)
Am I weird for thinking this girl was hotter when she was dressed more casually?
Q. Maybe this is an odd question to ask, but I went on a date with this girl last night and i've only ever seen this girl on nights out when she is in her heels, fitted dresses and i suppose she wears more make up. We were only going for a drink, so i ...
A. 16 November 2012: I always think a T and jeans is about the sexiest outfit a woman can wear (though I'm a straight woman). That and sundresses are pretty much all I wear outside of work.
Though I guarantee you, if she likes you, she probably put a TON of effort i... (read in full...)
I'm so jealous of my boyfriend's past relationships.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. But I have some problems. He was my first everything. And Im the fourth girl hes had sex with. It bothers me a lot, I argue over it, I cry at night, I can't sleep, I call him names, I jus ...
A. 15 November 2012: Unfortunately what you are suffering from is retroactive jealousy. Look up "Yos" on this site and search for terms, you will find tons tons and tons of great resources. Look through Yos' answers below, a lot of his answered questions are on this ... (read in full...)
I don't understand the big deal about men watching porn.
Q. this is a genuine honest question that i can't seem to understand. I've seen many questions on here about girls who are unhappy that their boyfriends watch porn. Thing is, I don't ask my boyfriend if he does because I assume he does for his own ...
A. 15 November 2012: Do you think it's cheating if your boyfriend talks to other women? There are some couples who do. Do you think it's cheating if your boyfriend has sex with other women? Some couples don't. Cheating is not the same to everyone. Some women don't mind ... (read in full...)
Is it illegal to watch porn online?
Q. Ok now i no im about to sound stupid but... a couple of weeks ago and again last night i watched porn on an online site( strictly adult couples nothing wrong or sick ect ) I dont know why I watched it, I think it was just curiosity but it suddenly ...
A. 15 November 2012: As long as you're over 18 and the people you watched are over 18, it's not illegal.... (read in full...)
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