| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 7 October 2012: What is it that makes sex way better? Do you think that it's simply a vagina, or is it also that that vagina is attached to a person who has emotions and makes noises and is warm and moves and breathes and has pheromones and is connecting with you? ... (read in full...)
I always have to prompt b/f to wear a condom. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, Hope you can help. I have recently started a new relationship with a guy. Now I am not very sexually experienced but know we have to be careful, so am on the pill. Everytime we slept together I have had to prompt my boyfriend to wear a condom...
A. 3 October 2012: "when asked claimed it was not deliberate."
Yes and when I didn't want to come home on time as a teenager I would tell my parents I didn't mean to be late, I just lost track of time. It was deliberate. Your boyfriend is at best incredibly care... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not say "Yes" straight away to a propasal?
Q. I have been dating a guy for some time, but we live on both parts of the world (Australia and America), I have plans to move up next year, get a job, place to live and work hard at it. I have asked him for marriage before, and he said yes but only...
A. 3 October 2012: I always thought the whole "SURPRISE! Let's change our entire lives and legally bind ourselves to each other, decide RIGHT NOW" situation was a little weird. It's a huge decision, I think couples should talk about it and think about it before making ... (read in full...)
Will I be taken seriously in a business professional environment or in interviews because of my less-than ultra-femme appearance?
Q. okay, this isn't actually a specific relationship question, so much as it's just a general question i really need advice about. it's something that is really stressing me a great deal. i am a 28-year-old college grad with great interpersonal re...
A. 3 October 2012: It's not about whether you look masculine or feminine gay or straight. it's about whether you look professional or not. Cargo pants and hair gel are not professional, whether you take care of yourself or not. You need to dress business casual. Well ... (read in full...)
My Boss is a farewell next week. We don't click socially and I am not part of her clique. Should I attend or not?
Q. My boss is leaving for 1 year next week.I dont work with her much but see her at shift change at times. We are similiar in age, but are VERY differerent, shes outgoing AND popular, esp amongst the 20 somethings at work. Im a quieter person, w...
A. 3 October 2012: It's just a work thing, just go. She's not going to hang out with her friends, she's going because it's a chance for her to depart from her current professional group. If she's close to her friends they'll either stay friends or she'll have some big ... (read in full...)
Is it because she has already done it all? She's been wild sexually in the past with others. Now she is happy with if fortnightly.
Q. I have a question and I was hoping I could get some insight from the females on here. I will try to keep it short, but I feel I have to give a little background so you guys know the full story. Both my girlfriend and I are pretty close to getting...
A. 3 October 2012: Usually when girls go through that kind of phase when they're younger, of sleeping with anyone anytime, they aren't getting much out of it. It's an ego thing, not a sex thing. Many feel like it's the only way for guys to like them, or they feel ... (read in full...)
What is right? My wife is saying she has no problem if one of our unmarried daughters chooses to have sex in our home with a Bf. The thought bothers me.
Q. I have kids. In particular, I have daughters. And in particular I have a daughter who is 19. She took a year off after high school and travelled the world. Now she's back home and is trying her hand at university. OK, so she's "of age", so if ...
A. 3 October 2012: It's getting less common but still pretty common I think to have your daughter and her boyfriend sleep separately when they visit, though if they are living together but not married it would be a little strange. Even my boyfriend's catholic ... (read in full...)
I always have to prompt b/f to wear a condom. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, Hope you can help. I have recently started a new relationship with a guy. Now I am not very sexually experienced but know we have to be careful, so am on the pill. Everytime we slept together I have had to prompt my boyfriend to wear a condom...
A. 3 October 2012: You remember the Assange case? This was what one of the women was alleging, that she had consented to sex with a condom, but not to sex without a condom. So yes, not using a condom when you'd agreed to is a bfd.
A lot of guys don't like condoms.... (read in full...)
Is he using me? We never date, just have sex in the woods!
Q. Iv been seeing this guy for 2 months now and we meet up once a week, he seems nice but he never takes me out on a proper date. We only meet up for sex or heavy petting. He doesn't book a room up, we do it in the woods, Im feeling a bit used. He does ...
A. 3 October 2012: Yes, he's using you. Sending a text takes what, 30 seconds? He is spending just a few minutes a day of "work" in exchange for sex. Asking about your day and your job does not mean he's after more than sex.... (read in full...)
I stripped down to my boxers on a webcam. Now I'm afraid I'm on a porn site!
Q. Hello, Please help me, I can't get this out of my mind. I guess I did something very stupid. About a year ago I went to a chatbox and chatted with a girl. We continued on msn-messenger and then she asked me if I wanted to use the webcam. I agreed...
A. 3 October 2012: Why would she blackmail you by putting you on a porn site? She doesn't even know you or who you are AND she was in her underwear as well. Not just you. Not to mention it's pretty rare for women do to this to men. It happens, but pretty infrequently. ... (read in full...)
Should I confront him about what he is looking at on the computer?
Q. My husband and I recently just got married a little over 2 months ago, but have been together for over 3 years now. We just moved into our first place together and are getting adjusted to living together. For about the past week now though, I have ...
A. 2 October 2012: I have many links about this on my profile that I think you will find helpful.
Two very good websites about it are:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
http://www.fightthenewdrug.org
I suggest reading up to get some more information about it bef... (read in full...)
Because of an open relationship I may lose my gf
Q. a year ago, i asked my gf for an open relationship. i really wanted to experience more sexually from different types of women. We had been together for three years before i asked her, and after five months she told me she would give a try, though s...
A. 2 October 2012: Sorry but you brought this on yourself. You pushed her to let you see other women even when she wasn't OK with it, and in doing so you sent a loud and clear message to her. That she wasn't number one in your life and you cared more about random sex ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to show anger like a normal person?
Q. My girlfriend never gets mad. She just never gets impatient or annoyed or frazzled or frustrated. It's come to the point when I just want to instigate fights to get a reaction out of her. I push her, and push and push, but she nevers gets angry. W...
A. 2 October 2012: Why do you get to decide how a "normal" person expresses their frustration or anger? Stop pushing her. You won't get her to yell, you'll only push her away from you and to someone else. Your girlfriend sounds like she has learned to get a good ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suggested I get a sex toy for when he is away. But I'm not sure. Are there any that are better than most that you would recommend?
Q. I have quite a high sex drive, and my boyfriend has suggested that I think about buying a toy for when I'm 'in the mood' but he isn't around. I've never used toys before and although I've thought about it, I'm a bit hesitant. Sure it'd be nice to ...
A. 2 October 2012: Toys are great! Both when your boyfriend isn't there and when you're together. They can make it much easier and faster to orgasm, he can use it on you when he's tired, you can use it on him even if you're feeling adventurous. Definitely go for a ... (read in full...)
Do people in work places always take sides like this? The woman who was disciplined (and unjustly) has been sacked and I don't think it's fair.
Q. Hello Aunts,this is a work relationship question. Recently two women where I work had a fall out, not major at all, but one reported the other to our manager. When the other came into work she got disciplined and she walked out as she didnt want t...
A. 2 October 2012: Yes office politics are sometimes very catty. Stay out of it, it's highly unprofessional and makes you look bad to get involved. Keep your head down, do your work and if another job comes along take it.... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 2 October 2012: It's no different from any other form of masturbation, just a difference in how she gets there. The way you hold your penis when you masturbate doesn't affect anything either. If masturbation was ever in contest with your sex life it wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Fiance I made-out with another women?
Q. Hello, feeling like a piece of crap and could use some advice. I've been with my fiance for 10yrs and we are planning our marriage here soon, and actually just had our engagement party with our friends last week. I love her dearly, we are m...
A. 1 October 2012: She may never look at you the same way. But think about it like this, will you be able to look at her the same way while you harbor this secret? Will you feel the same in your relationship that every time you see your friends you'll wonder if it ... (read in full...)
Can blood tests detect an eating disorder?
Q. I haven't been eating properly and have been making myself sick for a few years now. I've recently had a blood test done at my doctors and i'm worried the blood test can detect eating disorders. I'd be way too embarrassed to discuss this with my ...
A. 1 October 2012: "I'd be way too embarrassed to discuss this with my doctor."
That's what they're for. An eating disorder isn't something you can get through on your own, you need help. Doctors are there to help, eating disorders are not embarrassing, they are seri... (read in full...)
I couldn't orgasm even though g/f gave me hand job! Help!
Q. I'm a male virgin, and the other night i was with my girlfriend and things got pretty heated. She started giving me a hand job, but no matter how attracted to her i was, i wasn't able to orgasm!!! for some reason i just couldn't... i'm worried that ...
A. 1 October 2012: You were probably just nervous! It happens! The first time my bf and I had sex he couldn't finish either because he was just so nervous. Worked fine the next time though. Just try to relax!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Fiance I made-out with another women?
Q. Hello, feeling like a piece of crap and could use some advice. I've been with my fiance for 10yrs and we are planning our marriage here soon, and actually just had our engagement party with our friends last week. I love her dearly, we are m...
A. 1 October 2012: "Telling her isn't what is hurtful, it is the cheating that is hurtful. Separate those two. If you didn't want to hurt her you shouldn't have gotten wasted so much that you couldn't control your actions. Telling her the truth, being honest, isn't ... (read in full...)
If a man in a relationship had a choice of sex or a blow job, then why does he so often prefer the latter?
Q. I'm trying to better understand men. Psychologically, what makes them more in the mood for a blow job over sex in the context of a relationship?...
A. 1 October 2012: Not all guys do prefer them, my boyfriend doesn't. But some reasons I've heard:
-No effort from him required
-It feels dominant
-Has a different and sometimes stronger sensation... (read in full...)
Should I feel upset that my penis can't bring my girlfriend to climax?
Q. I am currently in my first real relationship with a beautiful more sexually experienced women. we are in our 20's. I am having troubling thoughts about sex, which are kind of driving me nuts! Having lost my virginity to this girl I was hoping ...
A. 1 October 2012: "Me again. Sorry, "person', but I have to strongly disagree - there totally are two types of orgasm - clitoral and vaginal - and I didn't read Freud to stumble upon that truth - it was purely something I noticed myself. If you think all orgasms are ... (read in full...)
I want to enjoy sex like my B/f does but I can't seem to because it hurts too much
Q. I want I know why sex still hurts for me. My first time with my boyfriend on June 8, it hurt a lot. On June 31st we did it again and it hurt a lot. On September 7th we did it again and it still hurt. Is there something wrong with me? I want to enjoy ...
A. 1 October 2012: "I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a year and sometimes it still hurts but lube a pushing through the pain will help, sometimes when it hurts i still enjoy it and after a few minutes the pain eases,"
Yikes. That's not how it's supposed to w... (read in full...)
I don't like sex. Anyone else?
Q. I just wonder why people can't accept that i dont like sex. Ive never been raped, abused or anything like that, i just dont ever feel the need for it. All my hormone levels r ok. I can watch it on tv, if a sexy scene on a programme comes up but that ...
A. 1 October 2012: I used to not like sex, because the guys were always selfish AND because I didn't know what I needed. Why would I like being poked in the vagina?
But then with the right guy and with the right self-education I started really liking it.... (read in full...)
Do good looking people stay single for longer because people are afraid to approach them?
Q. Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway? I read this in an article a ...
A. 1 October 2012: Whenever I've liked a guy I've always had to ask him out first because he's always been too shy to ask me, but generally good looking guys know they look good and don't feel "out of their league" or something with a good looking woman.... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 1 October 2012: I'm glad to hear you got out of there. I know it seems impossible, but there isn't a "type" of man who is a pedophile. One in my school district as a kid was arrested and no one had ever suspected him because he was charming and kind to everyone in ... (read in full...)
Pimples by my vagina?
Q. is it normal to have pimples by my vagina? i have shaved ever since high school so i know it's not those kinds of bumps. do i pop them? seems painful...
A. 1 October 2012: It's probably ingrown hairs (which can happen no matter how long you've been shaving), but you should have a doctor check them out. We can't diagnose health problems on here.... (read in full...)
I want to enjoy sex like my B/f does but I can't seem to because it hurts too much
Q. I want I know why sex still hurts for me. My first time with my boyfriend on June 8, it hurt a lot. On June 31st we did it again and it hurt a lot. On September 7th we did it again and it still hurt. Is there something wrong with me? I want to enjoy ...
A. 1 October 2012: "The only foreplay we do is the 69 position and right after that he goes inside me. I get kind of turned on but not very. If that matters."
If you want to have sex with your boyfriend but he's not hard, do you go ahead and find a way to get his peni... (read in full...)
Insecure about my boyfriend's past with other women and with porn
Q. My fiance has a whole bookshelf of porn in his room, makes comments about porn sometimes, and I know he's slept with women before me. He's the first man I've ever been with and the last. Sometimes while we're together, I wonder what porn he's lea...
A. 1 October 2012: I have a ton of links on my profile about porn use, I highly recommend you look through them. Just click on my name to get there. Especially this website:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com as well as the book The Porn Trap by Larry and Wendy Malt... (read in full...)
I found a lot of disturbing things on his pc and I'm worried about my children
Q. Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating ...
A. 30 September 2012: Get him out of there ASAP. Child porn is illegal for a reason, because real children are raped to make it. Men who enjoy it do not care about that. You don't want a man who thinks his pleasure trumps child rape. If he won't leave, call the police on ... (read in full...)
How do I make her feel comfortable about having sex with me again?
Q. long story short, i pressured my gf into sex because i wanted to catch up to my buddies that had all done it. i felt left out so i pressured my long-time gf (2 years) and she gave in, even though i knew she wasn't ready (hence 2 years without any). ...
A. 30 September 2012: When the "felt kind of bad" turns into utterly heartbroken and devastated with guilt, then maybe she would consider it. She thought she could trust you and you coerced her into something she didn't want to do. Then to add further insult to injury, ... (read in full...)
When does intercourse become less painful for women?
Q. Hi! So, I'm getting married soon and I been reading a lot about sex preparing somewhat for it. My fiancé has told me that she has had 1 sexual partner and they only did it twice the same day she lost her virginity. One worry that she has is our f...
A. 30 September 2012: Pain during sex doesn't have anything to do with the newness of it, it's all about arousal. When sex is new it's harder for her to know when she's aroused enough and also harder for her to relax enough for it not to hurt. It doesn't stop hurting as ... (read in full...)
He said if I dislike his pot smoking I can leave
Q. Ok! So me and my fiance have been together almost 9 years. When I met him he did not smoke, we've broke up and got back together in between that time, but here we are together again, and now he smokes weed. I have a serious problem with it. I mean...
A. 30 September 2012: I am a firm believer that pot should be legal, but in some instances people can take it too far. Smoking every day without a medical issue is too far in my opinion. Clearly he has laid down his priorities, that he would rather sit around and get ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Do you wear stockings underneath your clothing?
Q. Just a quick question to all those ladies out there. Does anyone actually ever wear stockings underneath their clothes (like on t.v and in movies) or do people just wear leggings? The reason I ask is because if true then... ;-). But anyone I've ever ...
A. 30 September 2012: No one (well, almost no one) wears stockings or leggings under pants unless it's cold out, or to my knowledge ever have commonly. The only reason people used to do that with socks is because socks didn't used to stay up without garters. Women don't ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about becoming aroused from dirty talk on a teen site
Q. Hey everyone. I recently was on a teen chat room and a guy private messages me. He started talking dirty and at first I laughed but I became aroused. I eventually engaged in the chat and got off on it. After I was done I was shocked and scar...
A. 30 September 2012: No that wouldn't make you gay, it wasn't his maleness that was turning you on it was the talk about sex in general. I wouldn't worry about it.... (read in full...)
If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question. Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 ever...
A. 30 September 2012: I'm confused, why do you have to give your guardian money? Guardian, not a landlord. No, I wouldn't give them half of the money.... (read in full...)
My longterm boyfriend wants to sleep with someone else but doesn't want to cheat. Is a threesome the answer?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years, and we have both only been with each other during our relationship. He has suggested him sleeping with another woman, but not wanting to cheat on me, suggesting a three-some. His ex-wife ...
A. 29 September 2012: His EX-wife and him used to do these things. Ex being the key word here.
Your boyfriend is saying he wants to cheat on you and wants your OK to do it. If you're not willing to give it, then don't. Like someone else says, I highly doubt he'd be ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband that I'm pregnant with another man's baby?
Q. My husband and I have had alot of issues that we just cant seem to get over. 3 months ago I told him I was unhappy and didnt love him anymore and didnt want to be with him. we have 2 children together and he said to me if I left he would take the ...
A. 29 September 2012: You should have gone to a lawyer before doing this. Before your husband has little-no leverage to take your children, but because you stayed and then had an affair, he does. You need to go to a lawyer before doing anything to be certain what the ... (read in full...)
Do you believe a mans view on a woman can change?
Q. If a man has been nothing but disrepsectful for most or all of his years, (since puberty to say) do you truly believe they could see women than more than boobs and ass? Do you believe a man could change and accept a woman properly if theyve had this ...
A. 29 September 2012: It's pretty hard to teach someone who believes an entire class of people are not human, that they are human.
A sexist man believes women are not human. You don't want to waste your life trying to convince him that you are.... (read in full...)
Should I feel upset that my penis can't bring my girlfriend to climax?
Q. I am currently in my first real relationship with a beautiful more sexually experienced women. we are in our 20's. I am having troubling thoughts about sex, which are kind of driving me nuts! Having lost my virginity to this girl I was hoping ...
A. 28 September 2012: Also worth mentioning is that only a quarter of women are ever able to have this kind of orgasm. This is not how the VAST majority of women orgasm and it certainly isn't a better way to do so.... (read in full...)
I feel jealous of the man whom my partner has chosen to be our baby donor
Q. I am a lesbian who has been in a relationship for 7 months with a woman. Her best friend is a male, whom in the past, has declared he was in love with her! Nothing ever evenyuated and they remain extremely close. In the future she want's him to be ...
A. 28 September 2012: Not sure why she gets to choose the donor and you have no veto power. This is definitely something that should be a joint decision, not something she picks out. If you're not on board with this guy, then you two should pick someone else together.... (read in full...)
Should I feel upset that my penis can't bring my girlfriend to climax?
Q. I am currently in my first real relationship with a beautiful more sexually experienced women. we are in our 20's. I am having troubling thoughts about sex, which are kind of driving me nuts! Having lost my virginity to this girl I was hoping ...
A. 28 September 2012: I do understand what you are saying, and why it hurts. BUT there is no reason for you to feel bad.
Women care a lot less about penises than men do when it comes to an orgasm. Freud's really silly idea about the idea that a vaginal orgasm is bette... (read in full...)
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