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It's beyond me. What kind of help does my wife need about her fetish? She seems to want to get sick. I'm at a loss. Does she need help?

Tagged as: Family, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2012)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm 31, my wife's 28, and recently she's developed a new fetish.

She's become hooked on getting a stomach-ache having read webforums and sites about 'stomachache fetishes', and eats a lot of rich food in order to get it.

She keeps going on at me about helping her get a stomach ache.

One night when we were sitting watching TV, I asked her calmly why she was so into this sort of thing, she said it was fun, like Doctors and Nurses but more naughty!

Our sex life is good, so I have no idea why she wants to do this.... it seems, well, odd. I tried to be open-minded but could not understand why people on the Internet find stomach pain so amusing?

I don't find it funny, it's risking her health, all for a sexual thing.

Whether I agree with it or not is irrelevant, it's a health issue.

I don't understand why people find stomachache a fetish; isn't it an illness at the end of the day?

Her web history is full of searches for 'tummyache fetish', and cooking sites.

I'm wondering if she's a masochist or has some sort of mental issue that I don't know about?

She is a lovely woman, but has become eccentric recently - not to the point where mental health issues apply, but I do worry about her.

What is the best/most ideal solution to this?

I know for a fact I wouldn't risk my life like this; I don't really have fetishes per se, I just want a loving kind relationship and good sex, not fetishes or anything odd.

I need your help on dealing with this, it's beyond me and I dont want to get stressed over it.

View related questions: sex life, the internet

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI thought I had heard it all... I've never heard of this.

why would anyone want to give themselves a tummy ache?

and when she gets one what happens? I mean who WANTS to have sex on a full stomach?

Personally if it's not impacting negatively on your life I would IGNORE it totally. I mean it's not like she's asking you to give her the tummy ache is she? My husband is a feeder... and I struggle with his need to FEED me when I'm half asleep (he wakes me when he comes to bed) leaving me out of control to say no most of the time.

IF it's impacting on you then ask her to seek professional counseling with you as a couple to work it out.

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (25 October 2012):

Most likely it is the act of stuffing herself with food that is the turn on. (the stomach, when very full, can sit on the sexual organs in the pelvis and cause the person to feel aroused.) likely, She just associates the stomach pain with her fetish instead of stuffing herself with food.

There are entire website devoted to feeding/stuffing, weight gain and fat fetishism. A stomache ache fetish is more rare, but is also found in some people with a stuffing fetish.

If you are concerned about your wife's health long-term, please have a talk with her.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (25 October 2012):

person12345 agony auntThis doesn't top the list of "weird" fetishes for me at all. There are even people who find making themselves vomit a turn on, so at least hers is less messy!

She's not making herself sick or unwell, she's making herself uncomfortable. So long as what she's eating is safe (like not purposefully giving herself food poisoning or drinking cleaning solutions) I don't see any harm in what she's doing. I'm not a doctor, but I'm fairly sure indigestion or gas can't hurt you. If she takes two ginger pills that is both good for her and about guarantees bad heartburn, she could try that instead.

Are you worried about her health or does it ick you out? I think you're being a little melodramatic to say she's risking her life by giving herself indigestion. The only risky part I could see is that she could gain weight eating so much and that isn't healthy. But otherwise, it's a stomachache, that's not harmful even long term.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (25 October 2012):

Abella agony auntThere is a reason for this need within her.

has she ever suffered Depression that has remained untreated?

I think the reasons why she seeks to bring on a stomach ache would be unfathomable to the majority of people.

Unless it is a mild version of self harm where she actively tries to bring on an upset stomach.

But with some good counselling sessions with an empathic insightful counsellor may uncover issues that needs to be discussed

Gently encouraging your wife to consider counselling will not be easy.

At first it might even help if the two of you had a joint counselling session and then when your wife feels comfortable the therapist can deal with her one on one to get to the source of these issues

The problem is that she may one day choose to injest something that really messes her stomach up.

Better to get counselling before things get worse.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (25 October 2012):

kenny agony auntI have heard of alot of odd and strange fetishes in my time, but i have got to say that i have never heard of anyone wanting to get a stomache ache for a fetish. I would be concerned that doing things to get a stomache on purpose could be harmful to her health and well being so i think some expert advice on this matter is needed.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSo let me get this straight, she GETS OFF on having a stomach ache?

I have never heard that before, and honestly it doesn't sound sexual or sensual at all to me, it sounds more like a psychological issue or attention issue.

So when she gets a stomach ache then what? Are you supposed to play the doctor or take her to the doctor?

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