| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Porn rears it's ugly head, again!
Q. Hi everyone i have been with my bf for 6 yrs now. About 6 months back i found porn on his laptop.he apologized, we broke up and patched up again. He promised he would not watch again. I posted here regarding that and i got many answers which helped ...
A. 3 December 2012: More people don't watch porn than are gay (three times as many), how many gay people do you know?
I think the study was pretty well conducted on account of it being done by the Kinsey Institute... It also matches most other well-conducted studies ... (read in full...)
Porn rears it's ugly head, again!
Q. Hi everyone i have been with my bf for 6 yrs now. About 6 months back i found porn on his laptop.he apologized, we broke up and patched up again. He promised he would not watch again. I posted here regarding that and i got many answers which helped ...
A. 3 December 2012: He's already shown he is not willing to stop watching porn, he simply believes he has the right to decide what is acceptable in your relationship and that if you don't agree, he can lie about it. He's shown his true colors (he'd rather lie than deal ... (read in full...)
While house-sitting for my girlfriend, I discovered she is not the person she lead me to believe she is.
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months and I thought things were going great. We got serious very quickly however and ended up spending almost every day together. Lately I've felt very uncertain about several things I've discover...
A. 2 December 2012: Yeah she's a cheater. What happens if in the future you get seriously ill and can't have sex for awhile, would she cheat then? Or how about when you fight and she's just not feeling enough love? Someone who thinks cheating is an answer to problems ... (read in full...)
I don't want or feel like having sex EVER!! My husband gets grumpy & moody, and keeps dropping hints about sex.
Q. Ok,.. here is the deal,.. and I know I'm not alone here. I don't have a sex drive anymore, I don't want it, don't need it. Of course my other half says he'll be patient,... NOT! About once every month or 2 I'll give in, and even though I'm not in ...
A. 2 December 2012: It sounds like a whole collection of pretty much everything going wrong here to stop your libido.
1. You are on medications that wreck your libido. Don't downplay this effect, it alone can be responsible for putting you totally off sex. Talk to ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you have an yeast infection?
Q. i heard that a women's scent changes depending on diet. i'm starting to see discharge and it has a chlorine scent and is white but a little thick and creamy. i am on the iud birth control method so could that be changes as well? i don't have ...
A. 2 December 2012: Vagisil relieves the symptoms of the yeast infection but doesn't cure the problem. This website lists some OTC treatments:
http://www.medicinenet.com/yeast_vaginitis/page5.htm#what_is_the_treatment_for_vaginal_yeast_infection_and_vulvitis
Jus... (read in full...)
I'm not gay, but an encounter with a friend gave me an erection. I'm confused!
Q. I'm 23 years old guy and time ago I had a stupid thing with my friend that I can't get out of my head. My friend is a bit older than I, he's a nice guy and I can always trust in him. We've shared many things and had always be there each for other. ...
A. 1 December 2012: What happened was sexual assault, what he did was NOT OK at all.
You got an erection because it's a physical response, not because you are attracted to him. Men can get erections even when they aren't aroused, by force. You can't be "made gay."
... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex with her, I just want to play with her breasts.
Q. Hi, I'm 20 years old and in college. I was leaving a restaurant and I saw a young mother who was in my college class last semester, and I'm fairly attracted to this woman and she remembers me from class, so I went over to talk to her. She was still ...
A. 1 December 2012: I'm not trying to bash you or make you feel bad, I'm not offended, but I really think maybe you should see a therapist. It's not healthy to feel such an obsession with something that's so lasting. Sometimes we all see hot or attractive people that ... (read in full...)
I missed a pill for the first time in four years and now my body is behaving differently. Is this normal?
Q. This isn't a relationship question...but I know people on here have great advice and go through similar experience. (this questions for girls) Basically I'm on birth control to ease my periods and make me have them only 4 times a year. Now I've b...
A. 1 December 2012: You're usually supposed to take the skipped pill as soon as you remember, even if you take two in one day, it should say in the packet.
If you are nervous call a pharmacist or call the doctor. They will probably be able to help over the phone an... (read in full...)
I desperatly need help from the male readers to understand my husbands behaviour.
Q. I desperatly need help from the male readers to understand my husbands behaviour. We have a very active,loving(sometimes wild!) and happy sex life. So what does it tell me, if he sometimes has to sit down at the computer watching porn to please h...
A. 1 December 2012: Because a porn want and a sex want are different things. It's comparing eating to knitting. It's a habit, not a horniness thing. For the regular user he could have sex until he physically can't anymore and he'd still feel an urge to watch porn, ... (read in full...)
I have to choose between 2 very different jobs and soon! What would you do?
Q. I have a very difficult decision to make and I need help. It's a choice between 2 very different jobs. I am currently working in sales, I don't like sales much at all, it's a retail job with part time hours. I applied for a new job in the police ...
A. 1 December 2012: I personally think you should take a risk and take the new job. You said you don't like working retail, it's pretty unlikely police dispatch will be more boring than that. My friend works as a dispatcher and she finds it pretty interesting because ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship, but my high sex drive has caused me to have feelings for someone I shouldn't. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, Just a little background on my problem. I am in a LDR of two and a half years. I see my boyfriend several times a year, and we are completely and totally in love. I have a remarkably high sex drive, but our sexual relationship bar...
A. 1 December 2012: I know you wouldn't. You know there's no easy solution, you just need to distance yourself. It's going to take a few weeks at least for those feelings to disappear.... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship, but my high sex drive has caused me to have feelings for someone I shouldn't. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, Just a little background on my problem. I am in a LDR of two and a half years. I see my boyfriend several times a year, and we are completely and totally in love. I have a remarkably high sex drive, but our sexual relationship bar...
A. 1 December 2012: This isn't about a high sex drive, if it was you'd be going "I need to find some hot guy to have sex with." Instead what is happening is that you are rekindling an old relationship where you both have chemistry and that chemistry is starting again. ... (read in full...)
I had a crush on my teacher. I moved away but I still want to keep in touch.
Q. So i had a crush on my science teacher but then I moved away. On the last day of school she told me to say good bye to her. Naturally I forgot but the day before I said a goodbye and gave her a hug. It's been about two weeks and i've settled into my ...
A. 1 December 2012: Don't "friend" her on facebook. That's not appropriate for someone your age. It's a different story when you get older if you add her later to let her know what you're up to, but for now, it is not appropriate.
"but mainly just as a student.... (read in full...)
The guy I'm just starting to date may have given me strep throat. Should I tell him?
Q. I have this crush on a guy who I think gave me strep throat about a month ago when we hung out. How do I tell him? What if I'm wrong? I met this guy this past summer at an event. He body painted me and we became friends on facebook and I finally got ...
A. 1 December 2012: Strep is a bacterial infection. You can get it from anywhere, from doorknobs to food handlers to getting coughed on to being around children can get it. If he didn't have it while you were kissing him, it's pretty unlikely you caught it from him. ... (read in full...)
To those who are married/in relationships: Do you masturbate? If yes, why?
Q. Hello I want to ask people who are married or in relationship if they masturbate, if yes how often they do it and why? Thank you....
A. 30 November 2012: I see you've been asking a lot of questions about sexuality, you might enjoy looking through this page:
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html... (read in full...)
Any advice on ways other then oral sex or girl on top, to get my girlfriend to orgasm?
Q. I am in a loving an monogamous long-distance relationship. It's been going swimmingly even though we're both in college. When we do get to see each other (about 5 out of every 30 days) we generally have a lot of sex and its been amazing. The only ...
A. 28 November 2012: I'm failing to see the problem. She knows what gets her off and does it. Do get bored of your orgasms?
Also what does "very average and plain penis" mean? Women don't care about penises nearly as much as men think they do. Deep penetrat... (read in full...)
Have I trained myself to orgasm only with this vibrator?
Q. I'm only able to have an orgasm with the [insertion type vibrator]. I have been successful once in a great great while with just manual stimulation. Is there any ladies who have been in a similar situation but have been able to become orgasmic ...
A. 27 November 2012: Most women who need to wean themselves off don't just stop using it full-stop, they get themselves very close with the vibrator, then finish with fingers. Then get themselves less close each time and rely more on fingers, and then eventually stop ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with my libido? It was good at first but then as time went on it started to hurt. Now I'm just not in the mood
Q. Hi everyone. So I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We first had sex when I was 16 and him 17. It was good at first but then as time went on it started to hurt but I'm just not in the mood for it...ever! I'd happily just have a ...
A. 26 November 2012: The pain is likely why your libido dropped. If every time you touched your phone it gave you a shock, you'd probably stop wanting to touch your phone anymore.
I agree with Cerberus that for now, you need to focus on getting a lot more foreplay... (read in full...)
She says she hates me and that I have no empathy! What do I do now?
Q. i never thought id be doing this but here i am. Im in a 2nd marrage and have been for 10 years. No bio children but 5 between us, mine are 25 to 30. my wife recently told me she's had enough, hates me, and i dont give anything back while she give...
A. 26 November 2012: Do you think you might have aspergers? People with that condition often have trouble with feeling empathy and showing emotions even when they care deeply for someone. Maybe you should get checked out for it by a trained professional and suggest ... (read in full...)
Will girls care if...?
Q. A few months ago a strange red mark appeared on my penis. Theres nothing painful about it, it is just a red patch on the skin on a bit bigger than a thumbnail. I went to the doctors and it is a skin condition called vitiligo. It is apparently ...
A. 26 November 2012: So long as it's not a health issue, no they won't care. This skin condition is often found on faces and necks as well and is particularly noticeable on darker skin, it shouldn't matter more than having a freckle or something.... (read in full...)
I have a huge crush on this boy but he's not in any of my classes. Is there anything I can do about this?
Q. So, I have a huge crush on a kid that was in all my classes last year and toward the end of the year, I felt like he was starting to like me too. He would tease me and be mean and joke with me a lot. But, this year, he's not in any of my classes....
A. 25 November 2012: If you're too shy to just talk to him, add him on facebook and ask him for coffee or to a movie. If you wait too long he will move on.... (read in full...)
Six months later I'm still grieving at the passing of my grandfather and feel like people think I should be over it
Q. i know this isnt a relationship question but i'm still grieving over my grandpa's death and dont know who to turn to about it. i havent had a nice year, i lost my horse suddenly, i became ill with anemia and then close to a year ago my grandpa w...
A. 25 November 2012: If you are at uni you should have a counselor available to you. You should make an appointment and they can help you deal with your grief. Don't beat yourself up about still feeling sad, everyone feels these things differently and it's no one else's ... (read in full...)
With holding of sex
Q. why is it when my girlfiend with holds sex its okay but when i do she gets mad about it?...
A. 25 November 2012: You sure she's "withholding" sex and isn't just not in the mood?... (read in full...)
Help me to be reasonable and rational about this matter please? My Bf wants me to use Birth Control Pills but I think it's risky.
Q. I have been seeing this guy almost for a year. We are thinking about starting to have a future together soon. We are no longer use condoms every time after we became exclusive and came clean to each other about STD history and all. We sometime...
A. 25 November 2012: Side effects from the pill are common, but they are temporary. There's no harm in giving them a try and seeing what happens. I personally don't do well on them, but the side effects weren't life-ruining and went away immediately when I stopped. You ... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend and I just laugh off the weird noises during sex?
Q. Since our 1st time a couple of months ago me and my girlfriend are now enjoying regular intercourse.We've started moving our bodies more to increase the pleasure.What's started to happen though is my girlfriend has begun to release a pooping sound ...
A. 24 November 2012: Extra lube doesn't help, nothing will help. It's called a queef and it just happens, no way of avoiding it. Some positions can make it worse, like very deep positions, but it's really no big deal. Just have fun, laugh for a few seconds and move on ... (read in full...)
Was it acceptable for my boyfriend to be on a dating site?
Q. My friend found my boyfriend on a dating site so I dumped him. He didn't care that I was upset, he didn't try to prove it wasn't him just said I should believe him. He got angry with me and called me an ugly fat c***t, so in a temper went out on a ...
A. 24 November 2012: Your "boyfriend" is a total jerk. He used you and manipulated you and then broke your heart for his selfish wants. I don't know how long you were together, but if not that long you dodged a bullet.
He's also a sexist and sounds kind of emotiona... (read in full...)
I'm terrible conscious of my small sized breasts
Q. I have always been self concious about my body.. I'm 5"1 small boobs and ive always felt shy about my body i compare my self to other people and it makes me insecure... I think im most concisious about my boobs.. they are a size 32 b and i had found ...
A. 24 November 2012: Guy know we wear push up bras. No one has weirdly smooth round shaped breasts without a bra, they know there's some padding and push up to them normally. Just like they know that when we wear mascara our eyelashes aren't really long and thick and ... (read in full...)
Does an abusive man ever change for the better?
Q. Does an abusive man change? I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years who was emotionally, verbally, financially, sexually (and in the end) physically abusive. I have been away from him for months now and moved back home with my parents to heal ...
A. 24 November 2012: Don't move backward, move forward. Abusive men do not change. Abusive relationships tend to be much harder to move away from than non-abusive ones, but you have to do your best. The hardest part is over, the relationship ended and you got out. You ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept in another girls room
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years. We are both 19. We broke up over the summer and since then have not been the same. Since then i feel like he wants to be single and goes out a lot. We both get quite jealous and dont like ...
A. 23 November 2012: Try to relax. I can see why your gut reaction is to freak out a lot and get where you're coming from, but I don't think any boundaries were crossed. He slept on her floor and like you said, he told you everything. He hasn't tried to cover up or hide ... (read in full...)
Troubled by a dream - what do I do?
Q. I'm worried. I am 16 and I am fantasizing about my dad. Not all the time or anything but sometimes he just pops into my dreams and I don't normally have sexual dreams. It scares me. He's never done anything inappropriate and I wouldn't want him to ...
A. 23 November 2012: Sex dreams often happen about people and things we have no attraction to whatsoever. Family members are actually pretty common, however don't get talked about for obvious reasons.
Try to remind yourself that you can't control your dreams and that... (read in full...)
Is this an orgasm or not?
Q. I get to the part where I feel like I have to pee but can't go past that is it still an orgasm or no cause I don't get past that part?...
A. 23 November 2012: Feeling like you have to pee is sometimes a feeling women get in the very early stages of G spot stimulation (like if you're stimulating yourself internally). But no an orgasm feels like a bunch of involuntary muscle contractions along with a ... (read in full...)
I Don't want sexy undies for Christmas again!
Q. Im dreading my Christmas present from my partner, it will be 'sexy underwear' i dont know why he keeps wasting his money because ive told him time and time again that i dont like it and it makes me feel cheap. I dont feel comfortable wearing it at ...
A. 23 November 2012: It's not about whether you feel sexy or not, it's about whether he is getting you something because he is thinking of you and your feelings or if he is thinking of himself. When he buys you lingerie it is because he is thinking about his own penis, ... (read in full...)
This guy at work seemed to like me but he's married!
Q. Recently this guy at work has been giving me all the signals. I mean real signals and gone out his way for me. There are other new workers , he won't help no one. Just me. I just found out today by eaves dropping his conversation he is married. H...
A. 23 November 2012: What do you want us to tell you exactly?
He is married, that means off limits. If he cheats on his wife to be with you that won't make him boyfriend material to you, it will make him a scumbag who cheats. And if he doesn't cheat but flirts, ... (read in full...)
Does the no contact rule really work if you want someone to miss you?
Q. Hello, Does the NO CONTACT rule really work if you want somebody to miss you and want to be with you? My boyfriend is afraid of commitment. We have been seeing each other for almost a year but he refuses to have the exclusive talk with me. I wo...
A. 23 November 2012: What you're doing is now basically a "silent ultimatum." You're essentially saying "come after me, or it's over." I disagree it's a game.
However, I don't know any lasting relationships that started or took the next step from an ultimatu... (read in full...)
My crush knows that I like him and says he'll treat me normal. What does that mean?
Q. Hey agony aunts and uncles; I hope that you're doing fine. Anyway, it has been really awkward recently as long story short, my friends told my crush that I like him. It's terrible; apparently he knew all along. (Kind of) However, he promised...
A. 22 November 2012: It means he's flattered, but does not want to date you.
You can go to the party IF you are going because you truly 100% just are going to hang out with your friends, but do not go if you are hoping he will change his mind or you will get somewher... (read in full...)
My small boobs are spoiling my relationship !
Q. Hi everyone. I am in a very confused situation and I need help. Please take time to read and any help would be appreciated. My bf and I are in a relationship for the last 4 years. We both love each other madly and deeply. We want to get married. ...
A. 22 November 2012: You should leave and make sure he can't contact you. He's being a manipulative narrow-minded jerk. They're boobs, they shouldn't be that big of a deal. Who wants to be with someone who spends 75% of their time talking about breast size? Pun ... (read in full...)
Does the no contact rule really work if you want someone to miss you?
Q. Hello, Does the NO CONTACT rule really work if you want somebody to miss you and want to be with you? My boyfriend is afraid of commitment. We have been seeing each other for almost a year but he refuses to have the exclusive talk with me. I wo...
A. 22 November 2012: Yes, it usually does. You just have to be prepared if the decision he makes isn't what you want to hear, but you're right. It's not fair to you to be in a relationship with no goals.... (read in full...)
Now that boyfriend can have sex again we never do anything else sexually!
Q. when i first started sexual relations with my boyfreind he would go down on me all the time and want to satisfy me. As he could not get hard due to stress. He can now have normal sex and thats all we have when we have sex and I go down on him. I ...
A. 22 November 2012: "he says he is a male chavinist whatever that means. he treats me well occasionaly putting me down verbaly when i loose something or struggle making decisions"
He self-identifies as a sexist and you want to stay with him? Why on Earth would you stay... (read in full...)
Is it a good thing to be with the girl that every guy wants?
Q. the girl i'm seeing she is very beautiful, but the problem is that. So many guys want her and they will do or say anything to convince her they're better than me! We go out together on nights out at least once a week because our friends are friends, ...
A. 22 November 2012: Being that woman can suck a lot of the time. I promise you, these other guys hitting on her in the club are zero threat to your relationship. Sometimes it's flattering, but a lot of the time it's just creepy. You definitely don't have to worry that ... (read in full...)
I Don't want sexy undies for Christmas again!
Q. Im dreading my Christmas present from my partner, it will be 'sexy underwear' i dont know why he keeps wasting his money because ive told him time and time again that i dont like it and it makes me feel cheap. I dont feel comfortable wearing it at ...
A. 22 November 2012: I have nothing to add to what Aunty BimBim said except at the end you can remind him that sexy underwear is a gift for him, not a gift for you.... (read in full...)
We dated a week, he went to afghanistan for 8 months and I don't know what will happen in that space of time!
Q. So I have this dilemma.. I recently met a guy that I have fallen completely head over heals for, and from my understanding, he has completely fallen for me too. The problem is, he is in the army, and was deployed to Afghanistan a couple days ago. ...
A. 22 November 2012: I think 1 week is too soon to try an 8 month long long distance monogamous relationship. I'm a bit concerned that if you keep emailing you won't be able to live your life, but if you don't want to throw in the towel yet, go ahead, keep emailing, but ... (read in full...)
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