| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
I don't want to hurt him. I want to keep him as a friend. So how do I let him down nicely?
Q. There's a really sweet guy in my algebra class and he's asked me out. I like him, but don't. He's a really good guy and is more friend than anything else. I told him I don't want to ruin our friendship but he wants to try. I'm confused and...
A. 19 October 2012: The best way to protect him at this point is to not try to maintain the friendship. He likes you, friendship won't be good enough for him anymore and will just hurt him. You saying you don't want to ruin your friendship is turning him down nicely ... (read in full...)
Married six weeks and now he has left me to live in another country? What can I do? No warning. No idea why.
Q. I've just got married, and been married for 6 weeks now. We haven't even had our honeymoon yet, it's been busy with work etc. Our wedding was lovely - cost about $25,000 - at HIS request, not mine, so I can't really be called a bridezilla for t...
A. 18 October 2012: I agree with Fatherly Advice. Check about the money. Clearly something is amiss and I highly doubt it has anything to do with not getting along.... (read in full...)
I have self esteem issues over this. How do I learn to cope with my fiance staring at women?
Q. We attended a job luncheon together and the field is dominated by women. Of course there was a blonde woman sitting not too far from us in a beautiful gray suit dress with her legs crossed and her chair was angled out from the table to hear the...
A. 18 October 2012: Does he stare or look? It sounds to me like he is not being disgusting about it.
I used to be like you, when I saw my boyfriend check out another woman in tight clothes or something I'd feel like crying. It was hard to come to grips with, but I di... (read in full...)
How can I get my family and friends to accept my 25 year old pregnant Gf / future wife and all understand all that she means to me?
Q. my family and friends will not accept that my 25 year old girlfriend soon to be wife is in love with me and wants to be with me. they call her horrible insulting names. yea i cheated on my wife of many many years, and left her for this girl. i...
A. 18 October 2012: I agree with CindyCares. Your wife, who you supposedly loved, couldn't have babies, which you said you were fine with. Then you spontaneously changed your mind so you wrecked her life to get what you wanted.
Also what if your child isn't a son? A... (read in full...)
Should I force myself to move out while healing from an abusive relationship or wait?
Q. Should I force myself to move out on my own in midst of healing from a horrible, abusive relationship I had been in for years, or wait a bit longer? I need your advice! I am 24 years old and currently healing from an extremely abusive relation...
A. 18 October 2012: That is what parents are for! There is NOTHING pathetic about you or living with them. He was an abusive person, he wants to get into your head. Everything he said was an attempt to undermine you, not actual truth. He found things you were insecure ... (read in full...)
Should ask him outright if he regrets what happened between us? He's a work colleague.
Q. Hey cupids! Ill just jump into it, I have been good friends with my colleague *rob at work since he started 2 years ago. We have always been quite close, always having a laugh and can talk about things we can't with many other people. In the la...
A. 18 October 2012: Why would we flame you, you two are obviously crazy about each other and hooked up. If you want to start something, make a move on him. Ask him to a movie or something or even to coffee. If he was feeling terrible about what happened, he would have ... (read in full...)
My wife actively discourages me forming any friendships of my own. How do I find the courage to stand up to her?
Q. My wife won't let me have any friends of my own. We've been married for about two years now, and I've always accepted that. I messed up and cheated on her early in our relationship, but she decided to keep me around, and we got married and moved on. ...
A. 18 October 2012: "we got married and moved on."
You may have moved on, she clearly hasn't. You need to invest in some marriage counseling. You wrecked her trust and clearly it hasn't been rebuilt for her. This won't be resolved by you saying, "I'm making going out ... (read in full...)
Does 'taking a break' mean she's broken up with me? Devastated. She is the girl for me. Help!
Q. I'm in a crisis state with my girlfriend (hopefully not soon-to-be-ex) our relationship was largely great. we had our issues, but whenever we fought we always worked through them in the end and would kiss and make up. last week we got into a h...
A. 18 October 2012: I know it's hard, but you need to sit on your hands for awhile on this one and let her have her space. You know she misses you, let her miss you. You have a much better shot at resolving this if you let her be alone for awhile and see that she ... (read in full...)
So why does he act inconsistently if he likes me? He says he likes me.
Q. He likes me, it's pretty obvious. He asked me for my number, invited me out for coffee and generally keeps texting me and flirts when he sees me. And his friends keep nudging him when I am around. Then he invited me out for a party last weekend but ...
A. 18 October 2012: Try to relax. You're way over thinking this. The only thing I would say is that if you want to see him again, invite him someplace so he knows you were actually sick and not just blowing him off. I have no doubt he would say yes.... (read in full...)
How can you stop from gagging during oral sex?
Q. how do you avoid gagging whilst giving blowjobs? i dont know how to "relax" my throat and i always feel lik im going to throw up....
A. 18 October 2012: You shouldn't be putting it far enough into your mouth that you gag. The most sensitive part of the penis is the head and that's the only part that really needs to be in. Sure it can feel good to go deeper, but that's not the main part of the ... (read in full...)
She tells me she's happy so why is she on dating sites?
Q. I have been dating for just over 3 years. For the past 9 months I have been finding bits about her being on dating sites again. I caught her out on one last year and her aggression after being unable to carry on denying it when I asked her, caused a ...
A. 17 October 2012: She has seen the problems from being on a dating site, how much it hurts you and your relationship, and she chooses to do it anyways. It is probably time to end it.... (read in full...)
Is this what married life is like?
Q. I can't meet my wife's expectations. She has the money for a house deposit. She is Chinese and her parents are very poor and asked her to provide the house for them. She has the money to do that but wants to spend it on house for us instead and ...
A. 17 October 2012: What are the circumstances of you getting married? Sounds like she may have used you to get citizenship/money.... (read in full...)
Is saying he loves me a real indication that he does really love me?
Q. My boyfriend said I love you for the first time over a message on facebook. Since then often sends me messages saying he loves me. He sometimes says it as I am going to leave his house or at the end of a phone call But he never says it randoml...
A. 17 October 2012: Do you think he means it? It does seem a little odd to say it for the first time over Facebook, however he may have been petrified to say it. It's a very scary thing to lay it all out like that and he may have opted to play it safer.
I think it... (read in full...)
He's perfect -- except that we can't have kids
Q. Ok - I have a slight issue... lol I really like older men - like REALLY like them. 3 previous relationships have always had a 20 year age gap. Is this normal?? Now I've started seeing a guy who is early 40's and he's everything I am looking...
A. 16 October 2012: I wouldn't break up with him because you might change your mind later. I haven't really heard of women who definitely don't want children becoming overwhelmed with a biological clock urge later in life. It's not as though you are trapped if you ... (read in full...)
He's perfect -- except that we can't have kids
Q. Ok - I have a slight issue... lol I really like older men - like REALLY like them. 3 previous relationships have always had a 20 year age gap. Is this normal?? Now I've started seeing a guy who is early 40's and he's everything I am looking...
A. 16 October 2012: Would he be open to adoption?
Some people will act like these issues, children, marriage, etc... are small things and not worth giving up a relationship for simply because it is the only real issue. However, if one person wants a family and the ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to stay with a woman, even if you do not see long term potential?
Q. Basically, my GF of 2 years cheated on me with a stranger. She denied cheating and lied to my face until I confronted her with circumstantial evidence that eventually made her confess. Although she denies having sexual intercourse, she...
A. 16 October 2012: "To the commenters saying that a woman worth anything will not touch a man in any sort of relationship/interaction with another woman. I am curious on this one...but I will respect that opinion (since I'm not a woman) and factor it into my decision. ... (read in full...)
We've been fighting and he's texting someone late at night. Plus he says we're "on a break'. Should we stay together?
Q. My boyfriend and I are on a break. However we are still living together, it's awkward. We have been fighting a lot, especially in the last few months, and we have only been together for 8 months, living together for 6. Tensions were high and I ...
A. 16 October 2012: You are broken up, you are not on a break. He may be seeing other women now, he may not be, but the relationship is over. There is no taking time to work things out. He is past that stage and is behaving in a cold and hostile way indicating that he ... (read in full...)
Why cant I orgasm when having sex? Is there something wrong with me?
Q. why is easy for me to have orgasm using fingering or by myself than make sex to a man...why i never comeout or have orgasm is man used me by his penis..is there something wrong to my body?pls let me know why?thanks...
A. 16 October 2012: No you are 100% normal. Your vagina has very few nerve endings. The vast majority of women cannot/do not orgasm from penetration, it is completely normal. Your clitoris is your pleasure organ, not your vagina. Teach your guy to finger you the way ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to stay with a woman, even if you do not see long term potential?
Q. Basically, my GF of 2 years cheated on me with a stranger. She denied cheating and lied to my face until I confronted her with circumstantial evidence that eventually made her confess. Although she denies having sexual intercourse, she...
A. 16 October 2012: Most women who have good long term potential wouldn't touch a man in a relationship with a ten foot pole. Further if you started chatting them up and got them interested, then she found out you had a girlfriend, that would be over before it even ... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend has lots of issues that she needs to talk out. But is that my responsibility still?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend of about 10 months a little while ago. I still miss her, and I really do wish things could have worked out, but the fact of the matter is that I don't think they would have. I'm an honors biochemistry major, I wake up ...
A. 15 October 2012: If you do not want to be with her you are doing the right thing not talking to her. You are right, it will give her false hope. You are not obligated to her anymore, that is why you broke up in the first place, isn't it?
This is like ripping ... (read in full...)
When I use toys sometimes I bleed. Can this cause future problems?
Q. Hey well when i use toys roughly some times i start to bleed im just worried this wont make it so i cant have kids in the future will it? thank you...
A. 15 October 2012: You shouldn't be bleeding when you use toys. Unless you're sticking them through your cervix I can't see how it could damage your reproductive organs, but you should be more gentle with them. If you're bleeding that means you are hurting yourself ... (read in full...)
I think I need a break from boyfriend but he doesn't want this and I don't want to hurt him
Q. Hi, I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, everything was perfect up until about a year ago, I have mentioned to him how I feel, when im around him I adore the ground he walks on and never want to leave him but when im home I ...
A. 15 October 2012: I agree with SVC. You are likely just so used to this relationship that the thought of ending it is unimaginable even though it's what you need. You don't need a break, you need to break up. It's going to hurt him, and going to be hard, but it's not ... (read in full...)
First Date: Should it be the expensive restaurant, or something less formal?
Q. Im taking my neighbor on a first date today. I knew she liked me and i liked her and decided to man up and ask her out. I asked her out bye inviting her to my bday party and asking her to play bp with me and she said shed rather kick my ass. so we ...
A. 15 October 2012: Don't take her someplace expensive for the first date, it sets expectations too high and may make her feel uncomfortable. It also seems a little desperate. I had a guy take me on a first date to a place that was $40+/person and insisted on paying ... (read in full...)
Why do romantic novels make it seem like all women achieve vaginal orgasms?
Q. We all know that a tiny fraction of women achieve a "vaginal" orgasm. Then why do 90% of romantic novels talk of this kind of orgasm as if its only natural for a woman to achieve it? And they always talk of "reaching the heights together" bulls**t. ...
A. 15 October 2012: Because a lot of women are under pressure to have vaginal orgasms and it's likely to be a turn-on to think that with the right guy, it would be possible. I agree with Yos that it's more possible to have them (sort of, vaginal orgasms don't exist but ... (read in full...)
He made a big fuss pretending to not know this woman when she only said 'hi' to him, is he hiding something?
Q. I'm not sure if my husband is hiding something from me. The other night we went to dinner and after went window shopping. A female said hi to him. I immediately said who was that. His first response was I dont know. So I said to him well think ...
A. 15 October 2012: It's a little odd to say "I don't know," but more likely than cheating is that it was just a reflex to say rather than having to take the time to think about it, though I agree getting so incredibly defensive is a bit suspicious.
Has he done any... (read in full...)
She ended our FWB situation because she was unsatisfied with the sex, but all the time she told me how great I was! How do I deal with this?
Q. Im shattered over here. A woman i met for intimacy is seeing another guy and is done with me because i had mental issues regarding vaginal sex. In the four times i met up with her over several months at the end of each meeting i asked if she was ...
A. 15 October 2012: That's the problem with friends with benefits. It's not based on trust, it's just based on sex. And if the sex isn't there, there's nothing keeping her around.
You had said you needed confidence in bed and unfortunately she thought it was better t... (read in full...)
My past has affected me and subsequently my troubled relationships led to me turning to porn. Can I have a normal sex life?
Q. I am porn-damaged and I need help. Modnote: this paragraph was reduced to a precis, due to the graphic images therein: The background is that I have had a very troubled life where things have happened that were NOT my fault and for which I was ...
A. 15 October 2012: I think you need to continue seeing a therapist to try to work through what happened in your early life and talk to your therapist about your sex life.
There are some ways you can try to reprogram your brain once you've started associat... (read in full...)
I cant even find a decent guy for sex! Am I just unlucky, or is this the way its going to be now I'm getting older?
Q. I m in my early 40swith a grown child. I own a small business for many years now and did well for myself. I m not rich by any means, but deffinitely independent. All I m missing is love in my life. I m in good shape, considered to be above aver...
A. 15 October 2012: It sounds to me like you are still hung up on your ex. Have you thought about seeing a therapist to help get past him?... (read in full...)
I love him, but is there something wrong in his head? Do I need to speak to a Doctor about him?
Q. I really need some help and advice about my boyfriend, we've been dating on and off for four years now and I'm not even eighteen yet. I love him ever so much and I couldn't live with out him! but over the past two years things have been really c...
A. 14 October 2012: This is a highly dangerous situation for you to be in, you need to get out IMMEDIATELY. He has mental problems that you are not equipped to deal with. I'm not sure if they're purely biological issues (bipolar, schizophrenic, etc...) or if he is ... (read in full...)
There are decent guys like me who get no where. Why do some girls allow guys to treat them in disrespectful ways?
Q. My friends are always giving me a hard time calling me nasty names because they say I treat girls "too nice". At first I use to brush it off but now it is getting really old hearing them go on and on about how I better check to see if I still ah...
A. 13 October 2012: "Yes it would have been nice to get laid but not by some girl that has no idea what she is doing or passing out on me."
Good choice, because having sex with a very drunk woman is rape.
Your issue is not with women or the way you treat them. ... (read in full...)
She told me to my face she doesn't love me! Is she being serious?
Q. I am in love with a girl but she boldly told me to my face that she does'nt love me. How do i know if she is serious? And what should i do if she is serious or not?...
A. 12 October 2012: Yes she is serious! The only reason you are doubting her is because you want her to not be serious. She is serious, move on.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend really hurts me during sex
Q. My boyfriend hurts me when we have sex. I'm a small built girl and quite skinny and he's a whole lot heavier than me. He lies down ontop of me and puts all his weight on me. He grinds his chest into my boobs and literally drags my nipples down my ...
A. 12 October 2012: "So why won't he?"
Because like SVC he sees you as a thing to put his penis in, not as another human being. You can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't view you as a human. He is not your partner, he is a sexist user. This is not a part... (read in full...)
25 and never had an orgasm! Help!
Q. Hi I am 25yrs of age and has never had an orgasm.I've been with my boyfriend for 6yrs now and I'm clueless as to how to make it happen. Please I need some help cause my sex life is falling apart?...
A. 12 October 2012: You need to masturbate. You can't expect him to get you there if you can't even get yourself there. There are lots of websites that can give you tips, like clitical.com. Then once you know what you like, teach him how to do it, or do it to yourself ... (read in full...)
He changed his status to "In a Relationship" on Facebook. Does this mean I should move on now?
Q. Hi everyone. I am interested in some opinions on this subject. How much credibility should we give to what friends post on Facebook? For example, if your friend updates his status from "Single" to "In a Relationship" does this really...
A. 12 October 2012: Move on. Regardless or whether he has feelings for you, whether he's committed to her, whatever, he is a manipulator who WILL break your heart. ... (read in full...)
Does first time sex really hurt?
Q. Hiiiiiii everyone..my question is does sex really hurts for the first time..i was talking with my bf on this topic nd he told me that it hurts..i have never ever done sex..nd when i try to insert my finger in vagina it hurts like hell i cant insert ...
A. 12 October 2012: It doesn't have to at all. The reason it hurts is if you aren't turned on enough. When you are not turned on your vagina is dry and tight and if you are, it expands and lubricates. Make sure you have enough foreplay, as in get close to orgasm before ... (read in full...)
I'm also jealous of their success with women. So can going to a strip club improve things?
Q. My friends and I are in college and just finished a string of exams. They want to celebrate by going to a strip club, everyone needs a first time. I'm conflicted because I don't know what to do. I have low confidence and am starting to believe I...
A. 12 October 2012: If you had a lot of experience they'd tease you about that too. That's just what some friends do. Try not to let that get to you.
I didn't mean working out to attract women, it's more to channel your sadness into something beneficial. Take a c... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want a proper blow-job from my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she's the only girl I've ever been with and I love her, everything is perfect but there is one thing she won't do for me. She won't finish me off with a blow-job ever. I'm not even asking her to swallow ...
A. 12 October 2012: The important thing here is that she has decided what she will do and what she won't and that is her boundary, which you need to respect. She doesn't like giving blow jobs, but that is something she is willing to do it to make you happy. She doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm also jealous of their success with women. So can going to a strip club improve things?
Q. My friends and I are in college and just finished a string of exams. They want to celebrate by going to a strip club, everyone needs a first time. I'm conflicted because I don't know what to do. I have low confidence and am starting to believe I...
A. 12 October 2012: Would it really make you feel better to get attention from girls who deep down hate you and are likely only able to get through the night because they're drunk or high? It's like going to a movie to pretend you have friends. I doubt you'd leave ... (read in full...)
Found a 'sext' on my wife's phone
Q. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship...but I do work a lot and she wishes she had more attention. Anyway a friend of mine recently friend requested her on facebook and I guess began chatting with her. I came home the other night and wa...
A. 12 October 2012: I agree with Honeypie. Confront her with the photo and say you know she was masturbating to it and ask why she thinks this is OK. I don't know many monogamous couples who would be OK with sexting or sex chatting online. I think confronting is the ... (read in full...)
I'm not doing well at university -- any tips on how to turn my effort into success?
Q. Hey aunties and uncles, this isn't a relationship question, but it's something that's been distressing me quite a lot, I recently failed a subject at university and I feel so very upset because I've studied a lot, I read the books recommended, I ...
A. 12 October 2012: Most schools have tons of resources available like tutors and whole offices of staff to help out. There is no shame in going at all. I used to work at one of those offices that helped science students interpret data and everyone always used to be so ... (read in full...)
Partner only wants hand jobs and anal sex. I'm confused!
Q. My partner only seems to want handjobs (about 3 times a week) and no penetrative sex. On the other hand all he talks about wanting is anal sex. Im confused what to think. Anal sex is not for me and no matter how many times i say so he continues to ...
A. 11 October 2012: He clearly doesn't listen to you or your needs, why are you still with him? If he won't listen when you tell him you don't want anal sex and doesn't listen when you tell him you don't even like sex, I don't think there's much more to talk about.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want a proper blow-job from my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she's the only girl I've ever been with and I love her, everything is perfect but there is one thing she won't do for me. She won't finish me off with a blow-job ever. I'm not even asking her to swallow ...
A. 11 October 2012: Sorry but at this point you need to just respect that she doesn't want to do this. With some men it feels like having hot rotting asparagus launched into the back of your throat. Some women don't mind it, some women enjoy it, but some women hate it. ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
