A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend of 5 months dearly, but i'm still not ready for sex and he pressures me sometimes. We have different religious views and his parents don't want to meet me,and on top of that he can be soo mean to me. But he can also be soo sweet. But my feelings are fading away for him. I knowww i'm gonna be heart broken..even if i'm the one ending it. Now there's this guy who i liked before i met my boyfriend. He was sooo sweet, and perfect but i let him go because i wasn't sure if he liked me back, but we got in contact again and he admitted his feelings. He's literally perfect for me...and we are going to the beach this weekend..Alone.. :/ I guess my question is..should i break up with my boyfriend?? Or what kind of advice could you give me about this whole situation? I'm stressed, they both are amazing and i'd hate to hurt one of them.
View related questions:
ready for sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Fair enough OP, I was harsh because to me that's already a line crossed with this other guy. I know too many people that solve their relationship issues by turning to another person romantically or what I consider even worse the people who will actively seek another partner while still in a relationship because they don't want to be alone in between. Maybe I assumed wrongly and if I did then I apologise.
I stick with my statement though OP, what this new guy did and is doing is a low move, making a play for a girl who is already in a relationship, an unhappy one and is vulnerable because of that is not some white knight romantic gesture it's the act of a slime. Be very careful with him, from the very start he's shown himself to be well capable of fucking over other people to get what he wants, don't think for one second that were he to decide he wanted someone else too that he would have no problem doing the same to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): I'm not going to cheat on my boyfriend, i was going to try to end it before the beach. I just needed more insight on it..but thanks for your opinion Cerberus.... and thanks everyone else for the advice. I'm not going to start a relationship with my friend right away either. And we are still gonna hang out as friends until i'm completely over my boyfriend and i'm ready.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 October 2012):
 you need to break up with your boyfriend before you go to the beach alone with this other guy... or else you need to ask your boyfriend permission to do so.... I vote for breaking up
dating for the most part is about meeting the person you want to spend "the rest of your life with"
the problem with the current boyfriend is:
a. he does not respect you if he pressures you for sex when you are not ready
b. you have differing religious views, enough that his parents refuse to meet you (or so he says)
c. you find him mean
why do you want to stay with someone who pressures you, is ashamed of you (hence not meeting his parents) and is mean to you?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Okay so let me get this straight, you're having issues with your boyfriend and your solution to that is to go off to a beach with another guy you really like and cheat? Don't tell me any crap about that not being your intention or that it's not going happen, we both know it is he admitted he had feelings for you, you have feelings for him and this is your way of doing a test run. So your solution to relationship issues is to run into the arms of another man.
When reading the first part of your question I had sympathy for you, your boyfriend doesn't sound like the right guy for you and you know it, you already have one foot out of the door of this relationship and no matter your feelings you will end it eventually but not without cheating first which personally has made me lose my sympathy for you.
I have no respect for people who do what you're doing and no offence but it makes me kind of happy knowing what's going to happen next because you kind of deserve it. If you think for one second new guy, a guy who has no problem trying to get with a girl who is already spoken for and cheat with her, can be trusted or is going to be good for you then you're in for a nice surprize.
So you're going to go from Mr. Mean Pressure, to Mr. Sly Cheat and I don't care how charming, sweet or nice this guy seems that's exactly what he's doing. But at the end of the day you're doing it too so neither guy can trust you. No one can trust a person who chooses to deal with relationship issues by running off to be with another person. You and new guy sound perfect for each other actually, I just wonder who's going to be unfaithful first if you do end up together.
By the way by cheat I'm not talking about sex although there's nothing to say that won't happen. The very act of going off alone with a guy you like who likes you and starting a romance at the beach, putting the feelers out there is emotional cheating.
Good luck OP, you think your boyfriend is mean, well I have news for you, you're no angel either.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 October 2012):
 This relationship is clearly going nowhere and causing you pain. Just because there are sometimes good times does not mean a relationship is working. He sounds like a jerk. He turns on the charm just long enough to use to try to get in your pants, then acts like a jerk when it doesn't work. Time to end it.
Don't start seeing this other guy until your boyfriend is out of the picture.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 October 2012):
 Yes, you should break up with your BF and no you shouldn't go to the beach with another guy (alone or not).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Your boyfriend isn't that amazing if he's mean to you and pressures you for sex, and you also don't love him dearly if your love is fading for him. Another issue is the disapproval of his parents as well. You two could love the bones of each other, and the relationship could be perfect, but without the approval of his parents because of the religious differences, the relationship would always be under pressure.
Its not for me to say whether this relationship SHOULD end or not, but in my opinion the odds really seem stacked against it succeeding, so ending it should be considered a realistic possibility for both your sakes.
As for the other guy, well, is it really wise to spend time alone at the beach with him, especially knowing that you both have some feelings for each other? I think you should sort your current relationship out one way or another before even thinking about the next relationship. This other guy being in the picture while you're having complications with your boyfriend, will only add to the complications.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Sweetie, its best for u to leave your bf. More than sex, i think you no longer love him like the way you used to.
Your still young and your not married, so ur free to
...............................
|
