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I know she gave her number to a random guy so I want to go with her when the meet

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Online dating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 June 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ok this is abit of a wierd question

Just say ur gf gave her number out to some random dude on the internet and u found out, and they havent met yet, but u forced them to meet , woud it make the situation better or worse? say for isntance, i call her up and go i know ur talking to this guy u gave ur number to, i want u to go meet him, and im taking u , girls do you think this would help the situation, that she confront this person she may have a thing for? or do i just let it naturally go on like its nothing, they could develope something for eachother over the months if i dont do something about it now. idea's?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012):

i love this girl more then anyting but i dont think she trusts me shes caught me talking to few other girls at times but ITS JUST TALKING I FEEL NOTHING FOR THESE OTHER GIRLS I JUST LOVE HER. AM I NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE FREINDS THAT ARE GIRLS? i have no desire to be with these girls, nor looking for ' longing/ lovey/ connection ' with random girls i never met. Yet it seems this is what she wants from this guy, what shud i do? trust her or just talk to her about it? when i do talk to her about it she says i have nothing to worry bout. but cmon. giving random bloke your phone number you have never met.. i wouldn't even give a random girl my number i haven't met esp with no foto this guy has no fotos! im not jelous just concerned for her safety and wellbeing. true love is all i know. thoughts?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sorry i didnt explain the situation properly, me and my gf do alternative research and alot of reading/nerdy things,basically this guy msg'd her and they were talking about quantum physics and other DEEP stuff, anyway she sent me whole convosation and that didnt worry me, she said ' i want u to see what we talk about ', etc anywa few weeks past, they talk more, as she keeps telling me and updating me every few days, but just few nights ago she said that he asked for her number on fb,and asked me if its ok to give it to him, i said thats fine its up to u, but what do u gain out of it? she said she wants to learn more of what he knows about science and other subjects etc, seems fishy but we are suppose to be moving out togather in a week, so im leaning towards, is it my own paranoia? or could something develope from this? so i think, by confronting them both (since they havent met) might squash the fantasy or desire she is feeling, but if she is genuinly open just to learn, than i have to trust her . Please reply your thoughts...

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (27 June 2012):

My girl giving out number to random guy = not my girl anymore.

Nuff said.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 June 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIf my G/F gave her number to a "random guy" under such circumstances, I'd conclude that:

1. I was in the process of being dumped, and,

2. She's an idiot to make such a "date".... , AND,

3. She probably wouldn't want me around for that "date."

Good luck... (with your NEXT G/F)....

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 June 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHow did you find out?

and what do you mean by "some random dude"

you can't FORCE them to meet

it's not your place to be involved with THEM but it is your place to talk to your girlfriend about it.

KC gives great advice...

personally it's a red flag to me that she's giving her phone number out to other men online and keeping it from you... and that you feel you can control the situation...

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2012):

k_c100 agony auntNo I dont think that would help at all! If you went along with her it would be incredibly awkward and she wouldnt say anything in front of you, so the three of you would just stand there, it would be weird and then you would go home again having gained nothing.

What you need to do is confront YOUR GIRLFRIEND, not the other guy. Chances are the other guy doesnt know about you, so it is your girlfriend that has been going behind your back and treating you badly. Talk to her and find out why she is talking to other men online, find out why she is so unhappy in your relationship that she is looking for someone else.

Explain to her that it is not acceptable behaviour to be chatting to other guys online and that she has broken your trust by doing this. Ask her if she wants to end the relationship and be with someone else, or if she wants to stay and make it work with you (depending if you still want her).

Unless you talk to her and find out why she has done this then you are never going to solve anything. If I were you I would not stay with her to be honest, clearly she cannot be trusted and does not respect you enough to be faithful. Even though they havent met yet, she has been emotionally cheating on you by forming an online relationship with another man. I personally would not put up with that, knowing my partner had feelings for someone else and was meeting new people online would show to me that my partner doesnt love me or care about me, so I would be gone in a flash.

But if you want to make things work then you need to talk to her, find out why she feels the need to give her number out to guys she meets online and figure out if she actually wants to be in this relationship or not. Sounds to me like she is not interested in being with you anymore, but you need to talk to her to find out.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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