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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I prefer slightly older men, so should I wait for this high school boy?
Q. At this point of my life, I'm dealing with a problem I could've never thought I would be dealing with. I was always, but ALWAYS attracted to older men. Not significantly older, we're talking about up to 5 years older. And that worked. But as of...
A. 3 May 2012: You are completely contradicting yourself here - you say he makes you feel special, but because he is not attracted to you, you feel sad! Which one is it? Sad or special? You cant feel both!
I need more information here - how does he feel abo... (read in full...)
He cums on me, but he won't pee on me and he's says not comfortable doing it...what's the difference?
Q. Hi, This is quite a random question, and I guess some people will find it weird and maybe disgusting too but... My boyfriend loves to cum on my breasts and I love this as well, but one thing I would really like him to do (sometime/long time in the ...
A. 2 May 2012: Pee is a way of removing waste from the body, it is full of toxins and waste products from the body. Cum is rather different - it isnt smelly, full of waste etc...it is a substance that is designed to create life, not remove waste!
That is why i... (read in full...)
She said I was her best boyfriend and then broke it off with me!
Q. I had been dating this girl for about two months. one day she told me that I'm the most amazing guy she had ever met. She said i'm exactly the kind of guy that she wants to marry and have kids with. Then she told me that she has no feelings for me ...
A. 2 May 2012: She clearly has some problems - she sounds like a very confused young lady who doesnt know what she wants. Unfortunately there are girls like this out there, they will say something when they might not really mean it, or they 'want' to feel ... (read in full...)
Do all men think about is how to get a girl into bed?
Q. I'm just wondering if all men's goal is to bed a female when they approach them? I feel kind of silly asking this because I know all men want something from the girls that they date... Many of the men that I've dated actually let me know that all ...
A. 2 May 2012: Making sweeping generalisations like this is never wise - you cannot group 'all men' into one category and claim that they all think the same way. Of course they dont - so of course not all men think constantly about getting a girl into bed.
... (read in full...)
My husband's sex drive is completely different than mine. Help!
Q. OK...where to begin... I'm 25 years old and newly married. My husband travels a lot with work, so we are separated for a good month at a time because he is always out of country. I can't tell you specifically what he does, but he is NOT in a posi...
A. 1 May 2012: Cialis is for Erectile Dysfunction (ED) - i.e. for men who cant get an erection or struggle maintaining an erection. It does not increase a man's sex drive, it simply addresses any problem's with erections. I dont think your husband has ED by the ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and I think he might be cheat on me
Q. When I started a new job last June, I started a relationship with a man at work. Not the best timing since he was just at the beginning of ending his 12 year marriage. That being said, I guess I'm worried now. I've heard rumors of him cheating, and ...
A. 30 April 2012: Well he was cheating on his wife with you when you first met, so chances are he will be cheating on you now. If you start a relationship badly like you have the always tend to end badly too I'm afraid.
All of the signs indicate he is cheating... (read in full...)
Happily married but have a conundrum
Q. Hi all, I will try to keep this brief and simple.I am very happily married. In fact, most of the problem is I cant talk to my husband about this and I tell him everything! The crux is, I have a crush (im not worried, i simply admire him physically ...
A. 30 April 2012: What do you think would be more important to your husband - his marriage? Or making a new friend?
I think that is an easy answer - of course you are going to be more important. There will be other people he can make friends with in time, so I thi... (read in full...)
How do I tell this person whom I love and care for and WANT as a major part of my life, that I'm having doubts about it right now?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and have a great relationship (given that every relationship has ups and downs at some point). I honestly believe that he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and we've ...
A. 30 April 2012: Look - if the idea of never being with anyone else scares you, and you dont want to settle down, then you are not ready to be in such a serious relationship right now. If he was really the right guy for you then none of this would scare you and you ... (read in full...)
How to make a girl leave her boyfriend for me?
Q. I met this girl and we talked for the day. We exchanged numbers and we have started to text each other frequently, she also enjoys my company and when i call her, but she has a boyfriend. I am trying my best to think of the best way to go through ...
A. 30 April 2012: Well she is happy with her boyfriend - so she's not going to leave him for you. So what does she want from you? She wants you to be a friend. Nothing more.
But you dont want to be a friend to her right? So what should you do? Move on and forget a... (read in full...)
Did I miss out on a huge part of my life?
Q. when i was 20 i decided to drop out of the community college i was attending. i was just wasting money because i had no idea what i wanted to major in. at the time, i always felt jealous of my friends who were away getting the "real" college ...
A. 30 April 2012: Think about what you would have missed out on if you did go to college. You probably wouldnt have met your husband, and you wouldnt be the mom to 3 (soon to be 4) lovely children.
We all have these 'what if' thoughts in life. I often wonder w... (read in full...)
My ex is torturing me because I had to break up with her! What can I do? Can I approach the police?
Q. hello all.. i really need some help. i am in terrible situation. i had my first girl friend (for 1 year) and we had to breakup for some reason and after that i really didnt want to get into a serious relationship. i met this lady in club who is...
A. 30 April 2012: I think what you need to do is call your phone provider (the people that you pay money to operate you phone) and get them to block her number. That way she cannot call you anymore. I know you still care about her but this is the best thing to do - ... (read in full...)
My husband's sex drive is completely different than mine. Help!
Q. OK...where to begin... I'm 25 years old and newly married. My husband travels a lot with work, so we are separated for a good month at a time because he is always out of country. I can't tell you specifically what he does, but he is NOT in a posi...
A. 30 April 2012: Yes you are newlyweds, but how long were you together before you got married? Did you live together before you got married?
If the answer to the above is yes you did live together, then the whole 'newlywed sex all the time' idea is not going to... (read in full...)
Am I normal? I don't look like other women!
Q. hi there, i dont men to be crude or nasty but i have some questions the average human growth and development book wont answer. i been around various women while we change in the locker and i see them naked. i notice that 99% have a vagina that hides ...
A. 27 April 2012: All vaginas are different, they come in all shapes and sizes so you really have nothing to worry about. If a guy manages to get you naked and get close to your vagina he really is not going to care what it looks like, he will be far too excited and ... (read in full...)
Afraid to tell my parents that we're getting married?
Q. Hello all! I am 20 and my now fiance is 23, so we're pretty young, but we are so excited to get married! My only problem is that I am EXTREMELY nervous to tell my parents. We want to tell everyone and get the plans going (we want to get married n...
A. 27 April 2012: I cant see why it would get a bad response, no matter what you say! After all they like your partner, and you already live together so it is hardly going to be surprise of the century if you tell them you are engaged.
Setting isnt really importan... (read in full...)
Why is my ex hanging around my family? She is only friend's with my brothers ex! Am I in the wrong for being annoyed?
Q. Okay, I've been split up with my long term girlfriend now for just over a year now. She was friends with my brother's girlfriend and my brother has been civil to her as he didn't want any fighting. He's kind of a passive guy. My brother has a ...
A. 26 April 2012: I totally agree - your brother's ex is making some poor judgements with regards to raising her children, but you have to accept that they are HER CHILDREN and you cannot have a say in how they are raised.
I know they are your neice and nephew a... (read in full...)
Do priorities come into play when there's a large age gap?
Q. I'm wondering if age in dating makes a big difference. Recently I met this guy and hes a bit older than me. I just turned 21 and hes 34. We hit it off pretty well and we have the same views on a lot of things. I'm just wondering if it'd be a problem ...
A. 26 April 2012: Well a 13 year age gap is pretty big - I think 10 is about the maximum you can get away with and even then it is still a struggle.
If you think way way down the line, i.e. when you are both a lot older. For example he will be 50 and you will onl... (read in full...)
I am separating, but my male friend is dating someone else. Why won't he wait for me?
Q. Here is my story. I am in the process of separating from my husband. The separation is in the beginning stages. We are going forward with it but are in the process of selling our home. Hubby works in another city and is rarely home which makes it ...
A. 26 April 2012: Pinktopaz is right - I'm sure he likes you, but why wait around for someone who is not a sure thing? He will probably be thinking all sorts, like maybe you wont go through with the divorce, maybe there will be complications and the divorce takes ... (read in full...)
Older boyfriend proposed to me but I'm not ready yet
Q. I'm 19 and have been dating my 29 year old boyfriend for a year. He has a Master's in Electrical Engineering with a GREAT job and ambitions in life. It's not like he's a dead beat guy preying on young women; he's a genuinely good, hard working guy. ...
A. 26 April 2012: You just have to sit down with him and literally say everything you have told us here. There is no good way to say 'not yet' to a marriage proposal - but as long as you make it clear that you really do want to marry him, but you are too young at the ... (read in full...)
Crush on a female colleague who has a boyfriend, but this comment has made me think twice about her!
Q. I have a major crush on a female work colleague. Thing is, she is taken. However, she recently vented to my male mangager whose last day it was about her boyfriend. She is 20 now and has been with him 3 years and worries that she will eventual...
A. 25 April 2012: Well there are 2 issues here. I will address your question first.
I am 24, had serious relationships since the age of 15 and have never been on a girly holiday. I also regret this (like your crush does). NOT because I wanted to sleep around, ... (read in full...)
I want a job in the arts, office work doesn't agree with me! Any tips?
Q. I left high school with a double a level in art and design but now I'm looking for a job art is laughed at. I've been to connections and the job centre and told them that my first choice of job would be belly dance as I've done it for over 5 years ...
A. 25 April 2012: Teaching might be your best bet - belly dancing teacher, art teacher etc. You could even think about becoming a community worker, teaching underpriviledged kids art etc.
Perhaps think about working in an art gallery, at least that way you woul... (read in full...)
Good jobs in business that don't involve sitting at a desk all day?
Q. I'm a 3rd year business major but I hate sitting at a desk/cubicle. What is a good career path for a business management major with a creative mind? I absolutely love writing, traveling, entertainment, event planning, designing, learning languages, ...
A. 25 April 2012: Marketing is a good one for creative business people - there are many disciplines of marketing so you have a lot to choose from.
If you like events management, why not think about applying for jobs at events management agencies? Yes there is... (read in full...)
Should I be roomates with my ex boyfriend who is still interested in me, and I kinda like him too?
Q. I was in a relationship for four months and then my boyfriend decided to break up in March. There were many reasons, but one was that he felt I was comparing him with my ex. I probably was, but I really wanted to get over my ex (that was another ...
A. 25 April 2012: I cant begin to tell you how much of a bad idea this is! Quite simply if there are still feelings between you, then you cannot be 'just friends'. So the best thing you can do is cut all contact with him, and spend time being single and getting used ... (read in full...)
Are we moving too fast?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month now and we fist started kissing three weeks ago and making out one week ago. We were in his room one night and making out. Im really new at the making out thing but he was making these noises and then ...
A. 25 April 2012: No, you are fine. As long as you stick to making out and dont do anything more than thats ok. Most teenage couples spend a lot of time making out so it is perfectly normal.
You have known him for a while so its not like he is a stranger. As long ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex hanging around my family? She is only friend's with my brothers ex! Am I in the wrong for being annoyed?
Q. Okay, I've been split up with my long term girlfriend now for just over a year now. She was friends with my brother's girlfriend and my brother has been civil to her as he didn't want any fighting. He's kind of a passive guy. My brother has a ...
A. 25 April 2012: I know it is not ideal, but at the end of the day your brother's ex is her friend, they clearly get on very well so they are going to stay in touch despite the family connections. Your brother's ex is a mother, the mother tends to have the larger ... (read in full...)
How do you keep an older man interested?
Q. So I just started dating this older guy, he's 26 and I'm 18. Does anyone have any advice on how to keep an older guy interested? ...
A. 24 April 2012: Age really shouldnt matter in him being interested in you or not - and if he stops being interested in you, well he's not worth keeping anyway!
Men generally just want a girlfriend who is fun to be around, happy, kind and doesnt want a life ful... (read in full...)
How do I handle the fears of my girlfriend that I will get hurt climbing to the summit? It is my dream to do this climb
Q. Ok, so next year, I am scheduled to climb to the summit of Mt Everest, the worlds tallest mountain. This has been my dream ever since I was a little boy. I am taking up a particular route to the summit. Yesterday I was watching a video of an area ...
A. 24 April 2012: It is your dream, and you will resent her if she stops you from achieving it. So you need to go ahead and do this, just make sure you are the most prepared you possibly can be.
Perhaps try and find some videos of people reaching the summit t... (read in full...)
What are the confidentiality rules in U.K. schools?
Q. I've just found out I'm pregnant! I'm 16 and I'm really happy because I was trying for a baby. My form tutor at school has somehow figured it out and keeps asking if I'm pregnant. I'm reluctant to tell her because I dont want the information getting ...
A. 23 April 2012: It is up to your tutor to decide what she wants to do with the information you give her. Because you are under 18 you are a child, you are still at school (even if it is for a few weeks) therefore you are technically in the care of the school until ... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with my English teacher?
Q. Hi! I'm 14 years old, I'm a lesbian, and I deeply and honestly feel like I am in love with my English teacher. Now I know, I know you will say it's a "crush" or I'm just "infatuated" with her but I really feel this is love. At my school, we have ...
A. 23 April 2012: Look you have to keep in mind your age and your situation - you are 14 which in the eyes of the law is still a child. Teachers are not allowed to have relationships with children because this would make them a pedophile, so they would lose their ... (read in full...)
Is it weird/impossible for a twenty year old girl to be just friends with an older man (35 years age difference)?
Q. So, at work. I struck up a friendship with an older man. We talked a lot and appreciated each other's company. Today, we kinda just took the friendship out of work. We exchanged phone numbers and tonight we spoke on the phone for a little bit. We ...
A. 23 April 2012: CindyCares is right - if he is attracted to you, then it cannot be 'just friends'. If he wasnt attracted to you then I would say there is no reason why you couldnt be friends, age doesnt really matter in friendship.
However in this case, where yo... (read in full...)
I hate food it makes me sick!
Q. Hello aunt and uncles this isn't a relationship question but I really feel so alone and haven't found anyone to help me with this. I hate food it makes me feel sick and I always feel disgusted after I have eaten. I feel so down and repulsed. The ...
A. 19 April 2012: Person12345 is right - you need a new counsellor. Ideally one that specialises in phobias/anxiety. Or a counsellor who specialises in CBT would also work (cognitive behavioural therapy). Your current counsellor sounds very unhelpful and is not ... (read in full...)
Did he over-react? Was he trying to guilt-trip me? He's 28
Q. I met this fella January this year, we went on a few dates, got "officially" together mid February time. Now, at times, he would become irritated if I would spend time with my brother and friends rather than with him, despite the fact that I saw him ...
A. 18 April 2012: Gosh yes he is definitely over-reacting and is being a complete drama queen about it all. He is trying to guilt trip you and trying to emotionally blackmail you - his idea is that if he says all this to you, you will feel so bad you take him back.
... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want to have safe-sex with as many beautiful people as possible?
Q. Is it wrong to want to have safe-sex with as many beautiful people as possible? Some background info before the women on here start calling me a 'player' etc.... I'm 23 years old and was a virgin up until last year. For most of my life, women...
A. 18 April 2012: No it is not wrong for you to want to have sex in a FWB style arrangement, with multiple women if that is what you want.
What IS very very wrong though is to fake a relationship to get a girl into bed! That is probably one of the lowest things a... (read in full...)
Is the attraction not there? Do things change?
Q. I am in a relationship for over 2 years (living together) and I started to notice that my boyfriend's drive sex had decresed a lot in the past 2 months. Before it used to be almost everyday. After a year and half... every 2 weeks.. and now ONCE a m...
A. 17 April 2012: I had the exact same problem with my ex - when we were first together sex was fantastic but then throughout the duration of the relationship (we were together 2 years) it slowed to about once a month or once every 2 months.
I was very unhappy ... (read in full...)
Should I be an asshole to get girls? Or be the nice guy? Or just give up and save myself the hassle?
Q. Im 19 and have aspbergers disorder (autism). tragicly for me, im a super nice guy. I dont think im ugly or that it had to do with my looks sense ive seen way gnarly looking asshole guys get handful's of women. I want to know if its better to be...
A. 17 April 2012: I'm a girl and I like nice guys. I hate the assholes, I can spot them a mile off and I stay well away! I hate men that play games, that treat girls like crap...I have no time for those kinds of men, I want a nice guy with good manners who treats me ... (read in full...)
4 women that want me, but if I'm honest I only want my ex! What should I do?
Q. A few months ago my girlfriend broke up with me. We talked about it and she told me that we had grown apart. She said that there is no chance of us getting back together. It sucks, but I've come to except it and I've put it in my mind that I've ...
A. 17 April 2012: Look, you are still hung up on your ex and claim that you will 'love her forever' so until you stop 'loving her forever' you cannot be with another woman, it simply is not fair.
Imagine you started dating a girl you really like, start falling ... (read in full...)
25 year old friend of mine having sex with a 16 year old, is this wrong?
Q. Short question for you all. A male friend of mine is 25.He is dating a 16-year old girl,and they are having sex. I can't help but think it's wrong.Am I totally out of line??...
A. 16 April 2012: Well according to UK law technically it is legal, because she is 16.
However morally it is a bit wrong, and a bit creepy on his part. I mean what does a 25 year old man have in common with a 16 year old girl?! Presumably she is at school or colle... (read in full...)
My friends make fun of me and refer to me as gay
Q. Recently my friends whom i have known for the past 2 years are pissing me off. Whenever i am around, they make fun of me. They make fun of my apperance,my teeth,face etc and calls me gay. Even when someone newly joins the group, i am introduced as a ...
A. 16 April 2012: Talk to them and tell them how you feel. They are wrong to act this way, but you cant let them get away with it. If you dont want to lose their friendship then stand up for yourself and tell them to stop acting like this. If you start standing up ... (read in full...)
After all the hurt and insecurities and trust issues that my boyfriend had with his ex, I don't understand why he still is in contact with her.
Q. A saga, srry: A few years ago, on the first day of school my boyfriend "mike" and I met. He pursued me from day 1, and i turned down his efforts for three months becuase I was suffering from depression and was also in a quasi relationship at the t...
A. 16 April 2012: The problem isnt that they are still in touch, because he isnt actually saying anything inappropriate (yes she is inappropriate, but he never says or does anything like that). The problem is that you know too well he still has feelings for her ... (read in full...)
I love my online friend and he doesn't return the feelings. Should I block him?
Q. I'm in love with my friend. I'm 17 and he is 26. We met online 2 years back. We live in same country. I'm suffering from depression, he helped me a lot to come out of it. We used to sex chat. He told me before that he can't love me and he is not ...
A. 16 April 2012: I think the best thing to do is block him and move on. Until you do that your feelings will just get stronger and stronger and it will hurt you more and more.
If you need to give him a reason, then simply say you cannot be friends with him beca... (read in full...)
What is the average time for a couple to move in together?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now, i asked him if he wants kids with me and he said yes, but I'm wondering what is the average time it takes a couple to move into together? He is making efforts for me he met my mom and sister and for ...
A. 16 April 2012: 9 months is quite soon, you dont know each other that well just yet so I wouldnt expect to move in with him just yet.
There is no 'average' as such, for each couple it is different. But in my opinion you really shouldnt be moving in with someone ... (read in full...)
Are women losing their skills in "traditional" roles?
Q. Are women losing skills in roles they traditionally did like cooking and housekeeping? If so, what skills are they gaining instead? Let me first say that I love my wife, but I was shocked at how little she is able to do. She is an excellent ...
A. 12 April 2012: I agree with you, but I also have to throw this in - a lot of men are also losing their skills in 'traditional' male roles.
My boyfriend has no idea how to do DIY, he knows very little about cars and probably would only mow the lawn if he reall... (read in full...)
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