I found out about his daughter a year into our relationship, and he didn't lend me money for my school fees because he puts her first!
Q. I'm 24yrs and my guy is 29yrs too we have been friends since childhood but he asked me for a relationship as at last year so after one year he told me he had a 10yrs daughter out of wedlock and he said the reason why he refused to tell me such at ...
A. 28 April 2015: I detected something on the fringes of prostitution in this... but, then, the whole thing became so preposterous that I had to stop and go get a large glass of rum, in order to continue....
I'll re-read this again, later..... and if I can make sen... (read in full...)
He hasn't kissed me in a year. But he finds time to watch porn. what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend hasn't kissed me romantically in years. We barely have sex, and it is boring, always the same position. He watches very x rated lesbian porn and knows it bothers me and he obviously doesn't care. He is obsessed with woman and is c...
A. 28 April 2015: Soooo.... you haven't had a kiss that's worth a darn "in years"??.... your "boyfriend" watches lesbian porn, all the while ignoring YOU.....and YOU call him a "boyfriend"?????
I'd call him a "jerk"... and distance myself from him... and never gi... (read in full...)
He's told others that I'm ''easy''. But was what I did wrong to him, by blocking him and ostracizing him?
Q. Where do I even start? It all began when I started dating this guy for almost a year and then he dumped me. He started dating his ex girlfriend and I knew right there what a complete jerk he was. But, when he and his "new ex girlfriend thing" b...
A. 28 April 2015: You WERE "easy" by putting out for him.....
That said.... forget anything and everything about this creature... He's an immature cad, and NOT for you...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
How can I politely deal with people who offer their advice on whether we are having a boy or a girl?
Q. Ok, so my fiance I have been thrilled to be expecting our first child. We dont want to find out what we are having because I cant wait for that moment when the doc says "its a..." when it is born, but I have had a lot of people who dont seem to get ...
A. 28 April 2015: You look them straight in the eye, and say: "I'm hoping to have a beautiful, human baby.... girl or boy, makes no never-mind.... and I hope that YOU will be as happy as I am when the little critter arrives."
and... "P.S. I expect to get a GENERO... (read in full...)
Is this verbal abuse? Are we just not right for each other?
Q. I am on the fence about the man I have been in a relationship with for 2 years. I don’t know whether I am wanting to get out of the relationship too soon or if am avoiding the warning signs of what could be verbal abuse. Background Sto...
A. 28 April 2015: Sooooo, you made contact with this junk-heap of a "man" .... and believed that you could re-constitute him....
IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!!!!!
Get away from him... stay away from him... and content yourself that you didn't/haven't/a... (read in full...)
How can I determine if he still loves me? Or confirm it's over?
Q. My boyfriend is not talking to me any more ! we started this relationship 2 months ago, we loved each other ! i am sure about my feelings and i was sure about his feelings , but since last week everything has changed ! i don't know why, for no r...
A. 26 April 2015: He's giving you all the message you need, for you to determine that the budding "relationship" has run its course, and it's time for you to move on.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I feel so heartbroken, even though I broke up with him.
Q. So I've has a whirl wind 7 months. From the minute I met him he swept me off my feet and made me feel like the most special girl In the world! So what was the problem? His ex of 8 years who he has a daughter with, who left him and is now en...
A. 24 April 2015: Let me rewrite your submittal... for clarity:
"I'm a 27 year old crewperson with Virgin Airlines.... who is quite taken with herself.... 7 months ago I met a young male child who is 35 years old(!) (8 years older than I am, incident... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong? Or was it just insensitive of her? She hasn’t been there for me once over the situation, did I just expect too much?
Q. Last year I found out my father wasn’t mine and my twin’s dad, but he was our elder sister’s father. Since this has come out we have had a strained relationship, mainly through her not understanding or being there for me. After months of struggle...
A. 24 April 2015: "You're Dad's favorite"... or "I'm Dad's favorite" are timeless arguments..... and haven't had much validity over all that time. After all, what difference does it make?
Good luck...
P.S. My Sister thinks that SHE was Dad's favorite... but ... (read in full...)
Anyone else ever feel sick & tired of "trying"?
Q. Anyone else ever feel sick and tired of "trying"? First off, I wouldn't say I'm depressed or anything, and second, I'm not looking for sympathy, just, if anyone else can relate... I've been thinking about my life a lot lately and how less...
A. 24 April 2015: Question: "Anyone else ever feel sick and tired of "trying"?"
Answer: Nope. Never. Started trying - all sorts of things - when I was a little kid.... continued through life... and never felt that "trying" was anything other than its own rewa... (read in full...)
I get no attention from him apart from when he wants sex
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now the problem is we have a 7 month old son my boyfriend has a dog he is constantly kissing and cuddling the dog it gets in between us on the settee to the point where I get that fed up I move onto the ...
A. 24 April 2015: Great "boyfriend" and "father" you've got there......
Why not simply cut your (and your son's) losses and get away from him. From your description of him.... he might not even realize that you were gone, until the next time he gets horny!
... (read in full...)
Should I report my sister to Social Services?
Q. Hi guys I just wanted some advice on a problem I am having. I I have a sister who is 29 years old and she has two small children. However she has started to drink alcohol around her children, to the point where she gets blind drunk, this has been...
A. 24 April 2015: The kids come first..... Do you have any "other" family (members) who might house the kids? ... until/unless your Sister comes to her senses?
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Shall I move out now in a hurry because of my partner and her friends or shall I stick to my mortgage idea for next year?
Q. My girlfriend wants to move in after two years of relationship, I would absolutely love to but u don't want to do it just because her friends and cousins are. All her friends are moving out, living in private rent, wasting £600 per month in ...
A. 24 April 2015: It's time to dig in your heels, and realize that you've set yourself up for a pretty comfortable "now" and "the future"... and not stress yourself by comparing your lot with the lot of "others."
Stay the course...
P.S. What is the complication... (read in full...)
He is focussed on the negative to justify his position.
Q. Should I stay in touch with my ex-boyfriend of 16 years who says wants to be my friend and still help me out? I wanted to stay in the relationship and work on it. I told him how prior to a month and a half before he dumped me that I had been ...
A. 24 April 2015: vanelliliz: When you wrote this (in your last submittal):
"I go back and forth thinking it's worth saving this 16 years..." You reminded me of THIS:
WOMEN see "relationships" as something you INVEST IN; much as if you were planting map... (read in full...)
Do open relationships work?
Q. Do open relationships work? I'm not asking because I want to have one or anything but a very good friend of mine says that it keeps her and her husband happy while he works away. He had an affair a few years back and she decided that to stay tog...
A. 23 April 2015: Yes.. they do, for a while....
"a while" can be from 10 minutes to many, many years. YOU have to figure out how long you can endure it....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My question is should I have unprotected sex with this guy?
Q. My boyfriend has restricted me on his facebook account so I can only see his public page he says he no longer is interested in facebook and does not use it very much -which is a lie because when I go onto facebook on my account I can click on his ...
A. 23 April 2015: Are you crazy??????
... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is addicted to porn but wants to stop?
Q. I recently started dating this guy who I really like. He is very honest, and after we had gotten to know each other quite well told me he has an addiction to porn which he is trying to quit. I dont have much experience with relationships, s...
A. 22 April 2015: Porn - like alcohol, drugs, and others - is an addiction which HAS A COMPLETE HOLD on a person. To become involved with someone who is addicted is to TAKE A CHANCE that they will RECOVER from that addiction. Sort of like encountering a pond and ... (read in full...)
He is focussed on the negative to justify his position.
Q. Should I stay in touch with my ex-boyfriend of 16 years who says wants to be my friend and still help me out? I wanted to stay in the relationship and work on it. I told him how prior to a month and a half before he dumped me that I had been ...
A. 22 April 2015: AFTER having wasted 16 years with this guy.... WHY spend even another MINUTE thinking about, pining for and/or interacting with him???.... WHO - it is obvious - wants only to keep you on his string?????
P.S. Double - no QUADRUPLE - my answer i... (read in full...)
What does a nurse feel when she sees a penis - how should boyfriend react
Q. My girlfriend is a nurse practioner student and I’m struggling to get used to a few things. When she exam on the teaching patient and told me about how she palpated the penis it was a bit awkward. Just recently, during her clinicals (sort of ...
A. 22 April 2015: Here's what I have done, under the same circumstances:
Take advantage of her post-shift (post-clinic) excitement... and get her to look at YOUR "Mr Happy" through a magnifying glass.... I've done this, and it's worked EVERY TIME!!!!
Good lu... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to spend all of his time going out with his friends!
Q. Hey guys! I really need your advice about my relationship. I am 20 and my bf is 21. Me and my boyfriend have been together for around 1,5 years. Some of this time we were in a distance relationship. I felt that he was perfectly in love with me, we...
A. 22 April 2015: You write: "Should I break up with him? I really love him and I have already put so many efforts in this relationship."
You need to reconcile that your efforts have been in vain... and HE (apparently) doesn't love YOU.... so, YES, you should b... (read in full...)
Receives phone calls from alleged strangers. Secretive with phone. Would it be OK to ask her to change her phone number?
Q. A few facts; I am in a same sex relationship I’m 26 and she’s 28 We have been together a year and a half I am her first ever same sex relationship. So my partner's phone is always on quiet, not even vibrate, just silent. When she wakes up ...
A. 22 April 2015: I wouldn't ask her to change her number.... I'd tell her that I AM (WAS) CHANGING PARTNERS!!!! You don't need this angst and stress in your life.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My mom has always been mean to me ever since I was just a child, but she's gotten worse and worse and I'm really heart broken.
Q. I have not spoken or seen my mom in almost a year. To put it nicely, she was never a good mom. She was emotionally and physically abusive through out my entire life, and has never changed. I've always tried to talk with her about our problems and...
A. 21 April 2015: Sometimes.... people who we ought to like and love are able to keep us at arm's length... and we have to get on with our OWN lives... and leave them to themselves...... I'm sorry that THAT is what has happened between you and your Mother....
... (read in full...)
Was making light of it and ignoring how much it hurt me the right action? His comments about beautiful women upset me.
Q. My boyfriend sent me a text today saying "I wish I could have sent you a pic of the women that just left my job , holy crap I think she was a pole dancer hahaha with 2 kids" I have to be honest this hurt my feelings because I have low self esteem a...
A. 20 April 2015: This is a delicate situation.. because HE shouldn't be so inconsiderate as to have sent that note.... and it leaves you with no graceful way to "confront" him, to let him know how inappropriate it is.... Therefore,....
... take some quiet ti... (read in full...)
Why should I have to accept gay people, just because others do?
Q. I no we're meant to accept gays but I cant help but think its wrong and I don't hate it but I find it wrong I'm 13 by the way. I don't get why gays should be taught about in schools because why should I have to accept just cos others do? I do...
A. 20 April 2015: I agree with Aiden, that you've posed an honest and mature question.....
I'd like to focus on the concept(s) of "wrong" and "right"... as I think they contribute a great deal to your dilemma.
As you get more and more life experience, you ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain it to me? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded?
Q. I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a...
A. 19 April 2015: I had to read your submittal twice.... in hopes of "understanding" it.... but STILL came away with only this thought: "What difference does this guy - and his behaviour - make, to YOU?"
Sorry I can't offer more....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I am happy for my sister, but still jealous!
Q. I am 20 and my sister is 18. To put it blunt, our uncle is rich. 2 weeks ago, my uncle bought my sister a brand spanking new car, worth about $25,000 for her birthday, and to be honest it made me feel awful. My uncle has never bought anyt...
A. 19 April 2015: I suggest that you spend the weekend watching the basketball or hockey playoffs on television.... and not give this matter another thought......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I want my sex life back!
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years. We've always had a good sex life and if I'm honest I've never been able to keep up with my boyfriends sex drive. It used to really irritate me that I couldn't take a shower, g...
A. 19 April 2015: I suggest that you print out this submittal..... then, MAKE a quiet time when you and he can be sure to have at least an hour of sincere talk..... show it to him, and say, "Hunchy-Bunchy,.... you KNOW how much I love you... However, I want you to ... (read in full...)
He is a pragmatist while I still hold onto the ideal of romance!
Q. My boyfriend sees marriage as a long term partnership. He's very logical in his views of it. We were having a discussion last night where he told me the reasons he was with me (but taking out sex and that) - because he enjoys spending time with me, ...
A. 19 April 2015: Your story reminds me of the story of an Engineer who was married to his college sweetheart, and they had children who were in their teens.... One day, out of the blue, the wife said, "You know, Hunchy-Bunchy, you never tell me that you love me." ... (read in full...)
What's the hype with men liking big butts?
Q. What's the hype with men liking big butts? Something I've noticed the past year or so is that a lot of men seem to be butt men. They like the 'Kim Kardashian' type butt, the big, round butt. Even the majority of my sister and I's male friends hav...
A. 17 April 2015: There are "(big) butt" men, breast men, hair men, legs men, smile men.... HECK we men will go ballistic over just about ANY of a woman's body parts..... HOWEVER.....
... when all is said-and-done we're mostly taken with a woman who WILL SHOW UP!... (read in full...)
I love my wife. I miss sex. I'm flirting online with an old friend. Help!
Q. I'm married, I love my wife we have a beautiful little girl together that will be turning 4 in a few months. I have never asked questions on a forum before but I like to give as much information as possible so you get the picture. I wo...
A. 17 April 2015: My mantra: If two people cannot get their S/S/I (*) menus to corroborate... then they are wasting their time trying to stay together.....
(*) "S/S/I" is sensual, sexual, intimate.
Good luck.....
(Contacting the "old friend" is, indeed, not ... (read in full...)
My husband is as cold as ice between the sheets, but I love him and want us to be happy. Was I naive?
Q. Hello all, I'll get right to it. I am married and my husband is cold as ice between the sheets. I've tried some different things to spice it up, but to no avail. He says he's just not the romantic type, but we barely have sex anymore. It's ju...
A. 17 April 2015: My mantra: If two people cannot get their S/S/I (*) menus to corroborate... then they are wasting their time trying to stay together.....
(*) "S/S/I" is sensual, sexual, intimate.
Good luck..... ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never says he loves me or shows me any affection
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend 2 years we have a baby boy together my problem is he never shows me any affection or tells me he loves me he has only ever told me once when I was in labour with our son I have mentioned this to him and he says he is ...
A. 17 April 2015: Further beyond the replies you've already received.... esp. So_Very_Confused.....
Remember Peter Falk as the grandfather in "The Princess Bride"? As he narrates the tale he is reading, he sez (of the guy who is in-love with the Princess... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend depressed or lazy ??!!!
Q. I want some opinions on my boyfriend. We have been dating 7 months now. He wants me to move in and get married already but I still have reservations. Something that concerns me is his lack of motivation. I can't decide if he's lazy or depressed. ...
A. 16 April 2015: When you wrote: ".... I kind of feel like it's a control thing..." You pointed your pen (your keyboard) right at the real crux of the problem.
You've written about a guy who doesn't seem to want to grow up..... Will you be content with his juve... (read in full...)
My wife wants children and I don't she knew this when we married. Am I selfish?
Q. My Wife thinks I'm selfish because I don't want to have children, whereas she is desperate. I'm 29 and she is 30, we've been together 5 years, married just under 1 year. To be honest I don't like kids, I've never understood the appeal of children. ...
A. 16 April 2015: "The solution" to your problem requires only a 15-minute discussion.....
YOU tell her how you feel about having children.
SHE tells you how she feels about having children.
IF those "tells" aren't in concert, THEN you and she decide if th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never says he loves me or shows me any affection
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend 2 years we have a baby boy together my problem is he never shows me any affection or tells me he loves me he has only ever told me once when I was in labour with our son I have mentioned this to him and he says he is ...
A. 16 April 2015: I'll repeat my Mantra, which applies to situations such as this:
IF your partner (B/F, G/F, spouse) won't say, "I love you".... THEN LISTEN TO THEM!!!!!
BT/DT....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
The fog has worn off the affair but I love my married boyfriend. It's hard to stay but also hard to leave. What do I do?
Q. I am having a difficult time. No judgment please. Just help. I am the mistress of a married man and I have been for almost 2 years. I have heard it all. Believe me. Nobody can punish me more than I have punished myself. The problem is I am i...
A. 14 April 2015: OP: You really are deluding yourself in this matter. Especially, as you write these:
1. "..HOW can a married man LOVE his wife? I mean TRULY LOVE his wife if he is having a 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP? I mean a whole OTHER RELATIONSHIP with ANOTHER ... (read in full...)
He's willing to sacrifice his own happiness to make me happy?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2mths ago. he sees how much of a toll it has taken on me. after all the crazy crap that we've been through the roller coaster of my emotions and pissing him off, he decided to end it all. We had sex Saturday and I ...
A. 13 April 2015: I think you need to clarify two critical details of your submittal.
First: You write: "...We had sex Saturday and I became attached all over again...." which REALLY means; "I lead with sex and believe that if I offer it often enough a guy will... (read in full...)
I want to save my marriage, but my husband and his sister say they're happier without me!
Q. Iwe had long distance relationship for two n half years, before we got married. We were supposed to move together one month after marriage. My husband told me the third day of our marriage that few days ago he had slept with his ex colleague on a ...
A. 13 April 2015: WHY would you put up with this nonsense for even one more day. Agree with him that a divorce is in your mutual future... then get away from him and get on with your life....
Good luck..... (read in full...)
What kind of man would treat a woman who is all about him like this?
Q. Im hoping someone out there can help me thru this or someone reading this has been thru the same thing where I can find out what steps I should take to get over this and move on with my life: I met my fiancé online almost 3 years ago. Withi...
A. 13 April 2015: I think you've ALMOST put the "seed" of your "answer" right in your own submittal...... You write:
"What kind of man would treat a woman that is all about him and his happiness like garbage due to him only worrying about himself in life but swea... (read in full...)
Boyfriend told me his brother is cheating - and now I think my boyfriend is too!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles of Dear Cupid, I hope someone can advise me on what to do here. I've been seeing an older man since early November last year. He will be 50 later this year. I am 40. Early days and we have been taking things fairly s...
A. 13 April 2015: "Sounds" to me that you've made up both your question AND its answer. Is there any more to this submittal?????... (read in full...)
I didn't like my boyfriend's behavior in front of friends. How do I talk to him about it?
Q. One night, we had some friends over for drinks and we decided to play truth or dare. My boyfriend was asked what is the best sex he has ever had, and he said a threesome he had with his ex girlfriend and her friend. I had no idea this had even ...
A. 13 April 2015: Soooooo.......... you dump his a$$.... and THAT is the end of the matter.... Is that what you want to know?????
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I sent a text to my boyfriend that was meant for my boss. Will my BF get upset?
Q. Hi all. Let me start by saying my BF of two years can be insecure and has expressed jealousy at times. I was texting my boss trying to set up a meeting and sent the text by accident to my BF as I have both conversations saved on my phone....
A. 13 April 2015: IF your "boyfriend" doesn't have sufficient genitals that he can see this and let it pass... the YOU need to tell your "boyfriend" that he needs larger genitals in order to get through life.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
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