A girl texted me saying that my b/f asked for her number. I don't know how to talk to him about it
Q. I need to speak to my boyfriend about something that has previously caused problems in the past in our relationship. The problem is, and it may sound stupid, but I don't know how to tell him. Basically, a girl has messaged me and said that my boy...
A. 22 May 2015: Do you remember the Seinfeld episode which is titled "It's not you; it's me"? In it, the players reveal that "It's not you; it's me" is a clear lead-in to a breaking up. Well, it's the same with "We need to talk" and "there's something I need ... (read in full...)
Feeling stressed by people's negative outlooks re job market. I'm majoring in Dental Hygiene. But I am hearing that the job market is experiencing no jobs in this field. what else could I study allied to dental where jobs may be easier to find?
Q. Hello- I am currently in college majoring in Dental Hygiene. I have been stressed out due to negative feed back people have been telling me. I have considered ultra sound tech, and surgical tech as well and just not sure which path to choose. ...
A. 20 May 2015: Are you really considering to change your focus based upon "...due to negative feed back people have been telling me."??????? If people told you to jump from a tall building, would you do that, too??? (Sorry, couldn't resist this old cliche that ... (read in full...)
I still love him, I like the sex but I can't move on if this carries on can I?
Q. My boyfriend messed me around so much that I ended our relationship. But now I'm in a friends with benefits relationship with him, and even though our sex is great, and we get on better then we ever did together, I feel like I'll never get over our...
A. 19 May 2015: Your's is one of a Zillion submittals that we get about "FWB"... wherein ONE of the "friends" has fallen for the other "friend"..... but the other "friend" is quite content with the "benefits," only.....
Decide if you can be this guy's regular ... (read in full...)
What did this kiss mean from my ex/FWB?
Q. I would really value some advice on my ex fwb, then friend, now I-don't-know-what! We've always kept in touch since the benefits ended (I got a boyfriend, but not anymore). He says he always enjoys my company, and recently we have started to go out ...
A. 18 May 2015: Sooooo, you're still carrying the torch for him... and HE knows how to get you back in to bed... Are you going to justify yourself? ... and resume being his little sexual plaything? Don't you think you deserve more than that?
Good luck..... (read in full...)
I contacted abusive ex and am regretting it
Q. Dear all. I finally got out of an emotionally abusive relationship ten weeks ago. It was very toxic. He gave me the silent treatment for weeks at a time, used to slam down the phone on me, was unreliable and a whole host of other things. Anyway, I ...
A. 16 May 2015: You should IGNORE him... again and again and again.... until MUCH TIME has passed... and you haven't had a damn thing to do with him... and you've gotten on with your life... and have become indifferent to him.... and have forgotten him....
When ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being his dirty little secret!
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now and I still have not meet his family or his 10 year old son his wife passed away 6 months before we started dating everytime I ask him to meet his son he just tells me that he doesn't ...
A. 16 May 2015: Of course, aprilh. Keep telling yourself this... and it will BECOME the truth....
Wake up!!!!
... (read in full...)
My boyfriends ex is like a ghost around us. I wish he would let go
Q. Dear All, I am in a relationship for a year and it goes really well and we are still in love. Of course little arguments happens time to time at the end everything comes to a good sweet end. So I might say things go pretty fine and well. By the way ...
A. 16 May 2015: I always disdain to see this: ".... Of course little arguments happens time to time..." because that is so much B/S. Mature, loving couples DON't have to have "... little arguments (from) time to time..."
Mature, loving couples DON'T have the... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 6 weeks still talking to his ex but has proposed to mr
Q. My boyfriend is still talking to his ex ! does he have the right to do this ? We started dating each other’s about 6 weeks ago, In the beginning we liked each other’s a lot, we could not get enough from each other . We used to meet constant...
A. 16 May 2015: He SAID this: "...he came and proposed marriage, he brought a ring for me and told me its over with my ex and I want you only no one but you !"
But he DID this: "...I found out later that he went to meet his ex and he still talk to her."
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want a relationship but acts like he's in love with me
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago but things are very confusing. He told me he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to be with me, but it's not because he doesn't have feelings for me. Since we broke up he's been making excuses t...
A. 16 May 2015: You really should listen to this (which you wrote): ... He's saying to me that it's not what he wants...."
LISTEN to him.... and let him go on his way. YOU, on the other hand,... STOP trying to "outlove" him.... and get on with your life....... (read in full...)
I'm embarressed by my body, how will I ever get a boyfriend?
Q. I've always been insecure about my body ever since I was a teenager. This has made me paranoid and nervous about ever finding a boyfriend. I just don't feel like my body is 'normal' by society's standards. I don't have the nice body that so man...
A. 15 May 2015: How unfortunate that the bombardment that you've received - for years - about womens' bodies (and other appearance issues) has had this almost-debilitating effect upon you.....
My advice? Spend LOTS of time reflecting upon what a great PERSON y... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being his dirty little secret!
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now and I still have not meet his family or his 10 year old son his wife passed away 6 months before we started dating everytime I ask him to meet his son he just tells me that he doesn't ...
A. 14 May 2015: His (new) wife.... or (new) current girlfriend ... is probably cramping the amount of time he has to spend with you.....
Good luck..... (read in full...)
Do men judge a woman/potential girlfriends by how much money she has?
Q. Do men judge a woman/potential girlfriends by how much money she has? I'm a 26 year old who does simply okay for myself, nothing great. I don't drive an expensive car (my car is 8 years old) or wear brand name clothing or expensive jewelry, an...
A. 13 May 2015: I always remember those sage words that I heard from my Father,... those oh-so-many years ago: "Son.... it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as a poor one...."
Never forgot 'em.......
BUT, have found out that the rich girls seem ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to be FWB. Should I?
Q. Okay so I need a bit of advice. A good friend of mine, we will call him Mark, used to date me. Another friend, we will call her Amber, decided she was going to be a not so good friend and steal him away. Mark and Amber were together for about 3 ...
A. 13 May 2015: When a guy meets a girl who will sell her soul, whilest giving away her body (to him) ... he knows that he has hit the lottery of $*x!!! Nirvana!!!!!
The poor woman, meanwhile, may have a real - and emotional - attachment to the guy.... BUT what... (read in full...)
Why do some guys chose to ignore you rather than be upfront?
Q. (Sorry for the long post) Even when in the beginning I have repeatedly told him to be honest with me even if it hurts. Why is it now that he refuses to tell me how he still feel towards me? He said he usually gets over a girl after a week etc. but...
A. 13 May 2015: If'n I were going to write a novel about an affair that was never to be.... I would start it like this: "We met at work. We got close innocently. We're both in an unhappy relationship. We both said we liked each other....."
Your's (and this guy... (read in full...)
Do you think it is a reasonable action on my part to ask my boyfriend for a loan? I don't think I can ask anyone else
Q. I'm a young female who is currently going through a struggle financially. I had lost my job and am in the process of finding a new one. I've been in a serious relationship with a great man for over 3 years. He has a great job and does good for hi...
A. 13 May 2015: How close are you... to this guy... such that HE doesn't "see" your financial struggles???? THAT is the key....
A guy who is leaving you to hang out to dry - financially - and hasn't said a peep about it - probably isn't one to ask to assist y... (read in full...)
When is my man likely to feel motivated enough to tell me that he loves me? what could be holding him back?
Q. When will my man say that he loves me? We've been together for 4 months. I've asked some of my girlfriends and they've said he should have said it after about 3 months. We spend every free moment we can together, we have similar interests, he al...
A. 13 May 2015: May I add my caveat? I've dated (had "relationships") with two women who chose not to (ever) say "I love you..." to me. What I, ultimately, learned was that they DIDN'T love me.... certainly not in what I would call a common or traditional sort ... (read in full...)
I feel very guilty after I watch porn. How can I resolve these problems?
Q. Hello, I feel very guilty after I watch porn. I typically only watch it once every few months, so it is by no means a habit or addiction. I have been single for a while, and don't feel comfortable with random hookups, but I do get rather sex...
A. 11 May 2015: Are you Catholic? That outfit can make you feel guilty about just about ANYTHING!!!!!
Good luck...
P.S. You will NOT "go mad"... nor will you "go blind"....... (read in full...)
My sex drive is such that I want to sleep around but I know that will hurt my boyfriend, and might make him depressed. What can I do about my libido?
Q. I'm in a really uncomfortable situation. I've been with my bf for 3 years with one break. During the break I had sex with two people and dated a person online for a few weeks. I just really wanted to get something out of my system. I have ...
A. 10 May 2015: "Sleeping around" isn't all it's cracked up to be......
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Although we have broken up, could he really still be in love with her and me concurrently? I know I have to let go, but I feel a connection.
Q. Last July my relationship broke up as my partner fell in love with another girl. We have stayed in touch and I have forgiven him. Long story, but basically he say he still loves me and misses me. Truth is some feelings were stirred recently...
A. 10 May 2015: You've described a classic case of a guy who wants to check out another "hottie"..... and/but is quite content to keep the apron-strings attached to his old/last G/F.... so that she will be available as a "back-up", in case this new romance doesn't ... (read in full...)
I now try to avoid her. Would it be wrong to ignore my co-worker when she says 'hi' to me at work?
Q. One of my co worker pointed out that I had put on weight in front of other 2 co workers that she works with on her overnight shifts. Then she was like ``Canadians don't want to be told ``with smile on her face. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I ...
A. 10 May 2015: OP: (Barnes): Your follow-ups "tell" me that you are spending 'way too much time and energy looking for drama.... and I wonder if that compromises the time and energy that you focus on your job.... No more from this Uncle....... (read in full...)
Any tips to help a male virgin become a man?
Q. I'm 24 and I'm a male virgin who hasn't kissed a girl and hasn't been on a date. I really would like to change that, I wish I could be a stud. It's a little bit difficult since I'm far from tall, dark and handsome. Even the girls in my size...
A. 9 May 2015: RELAX...
RELAX.....
RELAX.....
RELAX.....
Worked for me.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Clearly we have some kind of emotional affair going on but what now?
Q. I met a guy 3yrs ago through a mutual friend, there seemed to be an instant attraction on both sides the chat was flowing and then he slips out that he has a girlfriend, gutted! Anyway I decided right then to back off. He lives over 2 hrs away ...
A. 9 May 2015: I see that you are in England. If'n you were up north - let's say, in Manchester..... and it was a cold February night... and you wanted to keep warm.... so I started a bonfire... and you and I - and some friends of our's - stood around and ... (read in full...)
Should I have to pay my ex gf any money back?
Q. My gf moved in with me 2 years ago. She didn't like the way my house was decorated and insisted I get it re-decorated. I own the house. I certainly couldn't afford the whole cost, and my gf earns pretty well. We agreed to split the cost, at £5000...
A. 9 May 2015: I wouldn't give her a farthing!!!! SHE asked for - and financed - the decoration changes.... AND, if she wishes to part ways with you.... this (the decoration changes) is something that she must leave in her past.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I'm broken, my husband is watching daddy-daughter porn
Q. Sorry if you get this twice I tried to do it secretly but closed out before I got the secret code. So I signed up to ask my question. My husband has battled porn all his life porn addiction isn't new to this family or the emotional effect it has ...
A. 9 May 2015: You can write re-submittals until they are as lengthy as "War and Peace"..... but not a one of them is going to justify what hubby is doing......
WHY aren't you simply saying to hubby: "Hunchy-Bunchy, this stops NOW.... or me .... and our kids... (read in full...)
Is it alright for my boyfriend to be his single friend's wingman?
Q. My boyfriend went out with a male friend and two other girls tonight. I considered that a double date. He said it's not, he was just the 'wingman'. I don't know exactly what a 'wingman' is, so I searched Urban Dictionary. The definition it gi...
A. 9 May 2015: STOP!!!!.... justifying what he did and LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF, AND YOUR INTERESTS!!!!!!
How far are you going to let him go before you reconcile to yourself that ALL OF THIS is inappropriate???????
Good luck..... (read in full...)
I now try to avoid her. Would it be wrong to ignore my co-worker when she says 'hi' to me at work?
Q. One of my co worker pointed out that I had put on weight in front of other 2 co workers that she works with on her overnight shifts. Then she was like ``Canadians don't want to be told ``with smile on her face. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I ...
A. 9 May 2015: You ask: "Is it wrong to snub and ignore her when she says hi to me in parking lot and elevators etc..."
No... it's not "wrong".... but it IS unnecessary.... You MUST be polite.... because THAT is "right."
Choose the battles you want to figh... (read in full...)
Where do I stand with this guy? He didn't ask me out after our third date.
Q. Hello All, I have been talking to this guy from work almost 3 weeks. On our 2nd date, I made a mistake bringing it up where was his craziest place to have sex? Since that time he started to text me that he wants to hold me ... Etc Last w...
A. 9 May 2015: You guy is playing the "3-date" scheme brilliantly.....
The "3-date" ploy works like this: Guy has a couple of dates with a girl. They go well. On the third date... EVERY GIRL knows that she is expected to put out. YOU, resisted. (Good gi... (read in full...)
Why does she love me so much!?
Q. My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years loves me endlessly despite everything we have been through. Our road has been rough but its always my fault. I've lied to her, cheated on her, left her and she always welcomes me back with open arms. Why?! I've told her ...
A. 9 May 2015: Your submittal falls in to that category of "It's not you; it's me"... excuses for bad behaviour and break-up.
The guy you've described (you!) doesn't "sound" like much of a boyfriend, at all..... BUT, you've found that GOLDEN girlfriend who is s... (read in full...)
Is it alright for my boyfriend to be his single friend's wingman?
Q. My boyfriend went out with a male friend and two other girls tonight. I considered that a double date. He said it's not, he was just the 'wingman'. I don't know exactly what a 'wingman' is, so I searched Urban Dictionary. The definition it gi...
A. 9 May 2015: I think that this: "...that since he is already in a committed relationship with me.." ...sounds like you are teasing yourself about what REALLY is the "relationship" between you and your "boyfriend."
You are UNDERreacting if your don't tell you... (read in full...)
He asked for 2 months of space. Should I give it to him?
Q. Its about my boyfriend who left me when i was pregnant and came.back when our son turning to 1 years old. I accepted him for he sincerely asked my parents forgiveness and acceptance. He brought his family to my parents to talk about marriage thing. ...
A. 9 May 2015: Your "boyfriend/baby-daddy's" behaviour makes me think of a pinball in an arcade machine..... And, it doesn't bode well for much of a future for you and this child, and - probably - any others that you and he might spawn....
Why not take a c... (read in full...)
I'm broken, my husband is watching daddy-daughter porn
Q. Sorry if you get this twice I tried to do it secretly but closed out before I got the secret code. So I signed up to ask my question. My husband has battled porn all his life porn addiction isn't new to this family or the emotional effect it has ...
A. 9 May 2015: There's NOTHING "wrong" with you....
Wanting your Hubby to exhibit a bit moral certitude is NOT expecting too much. (Especially since he's supposed to be contributing to the "moral compass" that your kids inherit...) ... and moral certitud... (read in full...)
His behavior toward my belongings was vindictive and unstable. I think I am being emotionally abused!
Q. I think I am being emotionally abused. I have been on and off again with my boyfriend of 2 years. He's acted out , mostly when drunk. I have gotten really mad, broken up with him twice, and he always begs forgiveness , promises to change and then ...
A. 9 May 2015: OP: The advice given - which advice you sought - is clear and succinct. Your re-submits make it clear that you are NOT going to follow (any) of that advice.... but are going to JUSTIFY YOUR behaviour.....
I'll simply pray that you, ultimate... (read in full...)
Am I too young for the girl I think I love
Q. Basically I'm a teenage lad, and I don't want people to just brush this off because I'm so young. I've recently broken up with my girlfriend of 2 years, because I cheated, for the SECOND time. We first started dating and everything was fine, about 9 ...
A. 8 May 2015: Overlooking your dreadful record as to "fidelity".... I think you've shown a modicum of maturity in this: "I feel like she is the one for me, but I am just way too young and in experienced to settle down for good with her."
Yes... you ARE "too... (read in full...)
If we can't be honest then why are we dating?
Q. So I have been seeing this guy for a few months and things are okay. He seems to do more with his friends then with me. We won't talk or text for a full day then out of the blue he'll text me and want to hang out. We'll hang out then he'll casually ...
A. 8 May 2015: When you wrote: "...if we can't be honest with each other then why continue this right?!?" ... you answered your own question....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I end it but then take him back. I'm tired of playing this game!
Q. I am living a very unhealthy relationship, i have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, he is with me but he is not! he is here but he is not ! Our relationship was great during the first 8 months, but since 3 months he became another person! ...
A. 8 May 2015: He's "not after sex".... because HE IS GETTING THAT FROM HIS "OTHER" GIRLFRIEND.... the one who he spends all that time with.........!!!! It's over between the two of you...
Cut short your time of agonizing about this.... recognize that you need... (read in full...)
My guy never wants sex yet he's always using porn. Is it ok for me to cheat?
Q. Hello well i love sex who doesn't. MY MAN that's who we never have sex his always tired body hurts not to mention he doesn't take any notice when i dress up get my hair and nails done.when I'm out he is constantly watching porn like all the time ...
A. 8 May 2015: Yes, it would be wrong to cheat. It's ALWAYS wrong to cheat!!!!
What you need to reconcile, is that there's no "relationship" going on between you and "(your) MAN"!!!!!!! If two people cannot reconcile their S/S/I menus (that's Sensual,... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 8 May 2015: This: "I agree that we need to get engaged or move in together, something, but that will not happen..." is like finding your house on fire, then seeing a bucket with SOME liquid in it (unbeknownst to you, it's gasoline!)... and deciding to throw ... (read in full...)
His behavior toward my belongings was vindictive and unstable. I think I am being emotionally abused!
Q. I think I am being emotionally abused. I have been on and off again with my boyfriend of 2 years. He's acted out , mostly when drunk. I have gotten really mad, broken up with him twice, and he always begs forgiveness , promises to change and then ...
A. 8 May 2015: At the risk of being seen as glib.... I think THIS is all one has to read in order to reply to your submittal: "I think I am being emotionally abused."
All the rest (of what you wrote) is smokescreen... and an attempt by you to justify why you ... (read in full...)
I know she loves me, but she doesn't show the affection I'd like her to!
Q. Alright, so me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little over 2 years with like 2 little breaks thrown in. Anyway the problem is that I find her to be really under affectionate. I am a very affectionate person I like the kisses and I love ...
A. 8 May 2015: I'll contribute my age-old take on this matter:
IF your partner never tells you that he/she loves you.... LISTEN TO HIM/HER!!!!!!
If you and your partner do not have matching S/S/I(*) menus, then your "relationship" is doomed to failure. (S/... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate for my boyfriend to give his number to other women?
Q. Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to continuously accept other girls numbers and/or give his number out to other women? I'm in a long term relationship and I've noticed that my boyfriend has done this several times through out the course of ou...
A. 8 May 2015: This is a peculiar form of "guy" behaviour, in which we do this (what your B/F is doing) openly.... such that we then "believe" that there is no "cheating" going on.... since you know all about it!!! AT LEAST (by guy logic) you are being ... (read in full...)
Do you think A's intentions are towards me are likely to lead to where?
Q. Ok, I'm not sure where to start here but please bare with me. I have been in an emotionally abusive/controlling/difficult relationship for 6yrs. I have tried to separate from my husband several times, I don't love him, I am not happy with him. H...
A. 7 May 2015: You spent SIX YEARS enduring this mistreatment????????????
Give it another six MINUTES... Tell hubby: "Hunchy-bunchy, you need to make wholesale changes in the way you treat me... or, I'm outta here..." Wait the six minutes... and if he is not k... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 7 May 2015: That little voice that's nagging me from the back of my mind is asking: "WHAT KIND OF "BOYFRIEND" IS THIS, .... THAT WOULD ALLOW HIS FAMILY TO INTERACT WITH YOU - HIS GIRLFRIEND - IN THIS MANNER...."
Don't "put this" on HIS family.... direct i... (read in full...)
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