| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 10 January 2013: Serpico, you think RJ is an innate evolutionary trait (despite all evidence to the contrary) but that addiction, which is almost unanimously agreed on by biologists to be genetic and is so chemically ingrained that people die from withdrawal is ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 7 January 2013: Male anon, again you're still not answering what your solution is. No one is forcing anyone with RJ to stay with someone who has a sexual history, I've heard many posters on here say the men suffering this should break up with their partner. And ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 6 January 2013: Male anon, RJ IS something sufferers have to try to get over because it makes them miserable. There is nothing for women to "accept" because there is nothing for us to do. What is the solution then if not to help men "get over it?" The sufferer is ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 5 January 2013: "But ON THE WHOLE this particular trait in men is VERY consistent through different times and places. There is as much reason to think RJ is a natural male trait as there is for many female traits which are pretty much taken for granted to be ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 4 January 2013: I've found that generally only people who are knowledgeable in their fields actually know how to search the internet for the information they want efficiently. "if you go ask most members of the AIBS what they think of modern psychology, you will... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 4 January 2013: "Not a single conjecture you wrote is consistent with the current consensus in the field of biology."
First off, I wasn't even talking biology, I was talking anthropology and sociology. Other cultures have had different views of how pregnanc... (read in full...)
When do these things calm down and do relationships like this tend to last?
Q. How long do relationships tend to take to calm down? Alot of people say people that focus everything on their new gf/bf and spend all their time with them have an unhealthy relationship as they are isolated from friends. I do believe this is ...
A. 3 January 2013: Why is she immature?
They both sound happy. What's wrong with that? There's nothing in your question that indicates they are a bad couple or will break up. As his friends you will never have the impact on him that she does. You sound like you are ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: "About his double standards that others have mentioned, when did we learn anything about this man's own sexual habits? People need to stop stereotyping men like this."
Why is it not OK to try to "stereotype" him that he's probably had sex befo... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: "do know that retro jealousy is a product of male evolution - specifically being described by the phrase - 'Mommy's baby, daddy's maybe.'"
Sorry but that's nonsense. People have always known sex leads to baby, but that's the end of it. There ar... (read in full...)
How do I reject a co-worker but still stay friends?
Q. Hi everyone I've never been in this situation before and I can't work out how to handle it. So...a guy I work with is interested in me and has been probably for about 2 years. He spent the best part of the first year texting me often and flirti...
A. 3 January 2013: Unfortunately you will never be friends. Even if you are friendly, he will always want more and the dynamic will not that of friends. It's not because of anything you did, but once strong feelings develop the friendship is over.
If this is the f... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: It's still bothering him and he's punishing you. He has decided he is entitled to treat you like garbage because he believes you've lowered yourself somehow, even though you haven't. You are a human, not a car, and your sex partners are not owners ... (read in full...)
It's legal in my country to marry a cousin. I seek your thoughts on my ideas about marrying please?
Q. I think the West may frown on this but I don’t care . I don’t live there anymore. In my country not being married by age 30 is weird n nor normal generally. I’ve been in relationships and they have failed in part because of immaturity and ...
A. 3 January 2013: I think you should marry someone you love, not someone who makes logical sense. Ideally the two overlap and for a relationship to work long term the relationship has to make sense, but you can't just pick someone to marry and expect a happy ... (read in full...)
I took plan b twice in a month advice please!?
Q. Please help I need some advice in regards to the plan B pill. Im really ashamed. I took the plan b pill twice nearly two weeks apart in december. Im normally on bc but had switched to a more convenient bc method that gave me bad side effects so Im ...
A. 3 January 2013: I just re-read and one of my sentences is confusing. What I mean is that if you took plan B on top of another hormonal birth control pill, if it didn't make you sick within the first 24 hours or so, it probably won't have any long term harm from ... (read in full...)
I took plan b twice in a month advice please!?
Q. Please help I need some advice in regards to the plan B pill. Im really ashamed. I took the plan b pill twice nearly two weeks apart in december. Im normally on bc but had switched to a more convenient bc method that gave me bad side effects so Im ...
A. 3 January 2013: You should be fine, call your pharmacist and they can answer any questions. Did you take plan B on top of a hormonal birth control pill? Because you should not do that, though if you didn't have any issues it's not going to cause problems in the ... (read in full...)
Why did my husband not include me on the pregnancy email?
Q. I recently entered my second trimester in my pregnancy. My husband and I are both very excited about having a baby. He recently sent a mass email to his co-workers and our friends announcing our pregnancy, but he didn't include me on the email. I ...
A. 3 January 2013: He probably was just really excited and thinking "Yay!! I want everyone to know! Now who doesn't know yet?" I don't think you need to worry at all. Just ask him to forward you the responses.... (read in full...)
When do these things calm down and do relationships like this tend to last?
Q. How long do relationships tend to take to calm down? Alot of people say people that focus everything on their new gf/bf and spend all their time with them have an unhealthy relationship as they are isolated from friends. I do believe this is ...
A. 3 January 2013: It's called the honeymoon phase. It's stronger in some pairings than others and the time period is different, but usually only 6 months up to a year. It's just the bonding chemicals going crazy. It means they have good chemistry together. Lasting ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is overly friendly with another girl, now he's travelling miles away to visit her and has booked a double room......is he cheating?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I'm in a bit of a predicament with my partner right now and I have no idea what to do. We have been dating for five months, almost six, I really like this guy and we spend loads of time together but he met a girl at a festiv...
A. 2 January 2013: Sounds HIGHLY suspicious. It sounds like even if something hasn't happened, he wants it to. If he was serious about you he'd bring you with him. Sorry.... (read in full...)
He lied about sleeping with someone while we were apart and it has broken the trust in our relationship, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, To begin with, I'm in a relationship for like 3 months now, and I've been with that same guy in a relationship 2 years until we broke up in 2011. So we got back together, obviously. Things went very good, we get along extremely ...
A. 2 January 2013: This is a tricky one. It comes down to who you think he is as a person. It doesn't sound like a player being an asshole, it could really go either way depending who how trustworthy you think he is. He could be a lying jerk, but he also could be a ... (read in full...)
I am genuinely not physically happy, but my partner gives me everything else I need. What do I do?
Q. I am genuinely not physically happy, but she gives me every thing else I need. Security, love, and compassion are what she encompasses, but she lacks the intimacy and sexual fulfillment that I long for. I honestly don't know what happened, I mean I ...
A. 2 January 2013: Have you tried talking to her about it?... (read in full...)
Is having a threesome a good idea to spice up our sex life?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm 23 year old turning 24 in 2 months..I'm married to this gorgeous man I love and everything is going great,but we always need something to spice up our sex life.rather I need something to spice up our sex life..so I decided to sugge...
A. 2 January 2013: I think that's a really bad idea. For one, if you think things are falling into a rut, a one night gamble won't fix it even if it is fun.
Two, the vast majority of monogamous couples cannot cope well with this. One party almost always feels je... (read in full...)
Broke up with him due to his halitosis and very bad personal hygeine. Can or should or how do I tell him?
Q. Hi, So I have this issue with this guy I dated almost four years ago. See I broke up with him because he had bad breath and is hygiene was not the best in the world. We stayed for him again but I don't want to say anything because I'm not sure if ...
A. 2 January 2013: I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou, you should meet up for coffee or something and check. I wouldn't say anything, he will probably not take it well. I once dated a guy who always smelled bad and I did tell him that was why I was not seeing him anymore ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend care that his brother is trying to get with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 16 months now... we've overcome a lot of stuff, and we are doing better. But through out the relationship, his brother has flirted with me on several occasions, even tried to gett me in his bed at one ...
A. 2 January 2013: You are going about this ALL wrong. There is no way he would choose you over his brother, just no way. This is his flesh and blood brother. If you try to convince him to cut his brother out, he will probably break up with you eventually. If it ... (read in full...)
My ex is convinced we are meant to be and won't leave me alone!
Q. My ex is convinced we are meant to be and won't leave me alone.I've blocked his numbers on my phone as he was ringing 30 times a day, and he's been blocked on facebook for ages but always keeps asking to be unblocked. He let himself into my flat ...
A. 1 January 2013: This man is stalking you, it's time to contact the police and get a restraining order. Get a deadbolt in the meantime. Breaking into your flat while you're sleeping is frightening behavior. Do not feel guilty, this guy has no idea what boundaries ... (read in full...)
BF loves to cuddle and I can't sleep! Is it because I'm too warm, or because he's in my space too much?
Q. Hi there... basically I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now really very happy together got a real good honest relationship. I have an issue he is really cuddly, I on the other hand am not so much. I do enjoy a hug now and again bu...
A. 31 December 2012: Too warm. I HATE being cuddled while I sleep. I cannot sleep. It's too hot for one, and every time he moves I wake up, yuck. I don't know any couples who cuddle while they sleep regularly. Sometimes I'll fall asleep there by accident, but I always ... (read in full...)
Should I respond to ex's new GF's message?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship a few years ago which lasted two years. Now we're just friends, although we don't keep in touch, we do meet up whenever we happen to be in one another's cities. Recently, his current girlfriend for about a year ...
A. 31 December 2012: If she asked politely I don't see why you wouldn't respond, it's kind of rude not to. HOWEVER, I agree with CMMP that it sounds like she might be fishing for something and your response might politely be that she should ask him about that.... (read in full...)
My wife has not had vaginal orgasms with me and it makes me feel very bad.
Q. I've been married for 3 years. This is my second marriage. I do love wife very deeply and she loves me. She has had many previous sex partners (around 25) and we met each other when she was 40. There is something I can not get over: She does not...
A. 31 December 2012: "Because many women told me that orgasm trough oral sex is great, but orgasms trough intercourse are amazing."
Really? Because that's the opposite of what I've heard and experienced. I can have orgasms from penetration. They are mentally a litt... (read in full...)
Seeking advice as considering getting an IUD. Can you explain any issues to consider? Side affects?
Q. I am a 22 year old female considering getting an IUD implanted. I have had one sex partner, and we are exclusive. I am wondering, if this things are so good...why does not everyone get one? I want to get one, but I am quite tight down there...
A. 30 December 2012: We mean talk to whoever is inserting the device for you, they should be able to answer any questions you have. If they can't, find someone else to insert it! None of my friends have had children. All found the procedure to be very painful but they... (read in full...)
My boyfriend suffers from OCD and is too set in his ways. How can I get him to change?
Q. My boyfriend is too stuck in his ways.. He suffers with anxiety and ocd, its really quite bad but I knew this before I stated going out with him, I just feel its getting to much for me even though I love him. He won't get on buses to go places w...
A. 30 December 2012: In order for this to work there will have to be work put in from both of you. Anxiety can be completely debilitating. To you it probably feels like, "why can't he just get over it? It's irrational, if he'd just think rationally, he'd realize it's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes much younger women and I'm worried about him leaving me for someone younger than me
Q. I have two problems which are really causing me a lot of stress. You see, I am a 22 years old and looking to get married. I've lived in 4 countries, speak multiple languages, don't drink/smoke/go clubbing, and am almost finished with university. I ...
A. 30 December 2012: "ie. human trafficking"
Don't walk, RUN away from this man. One of the criteria for being with a man should probably be that he hasn't ever sold women into slavery to be raped and abused. I know this was just one sentence, but there is really noth... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and feeling pressured by my own longings to have sex with my Bf. But I'm scared of getting pregnant. What should I do?
Q. okay so im a teenage girl and i kind of feel pressured to have sex,not by anyone though, i have a certain longing for it.i want to wait till im married because im still a virgin but sex is so tempting to do. And i have the guy i want to do it with ...
A. 30 December 2012: Masturbation will definitely help!
To make yourself wait when you're with your boyfriend, visualize giving birth and being pregnant as realistically as you can.
Also this: "While nothing bad may come of it, you probably wouldn't enjoy i... (read in full...)
My wife has not had vaginal orgasms with me and it makes me feel very bad.
Q. I've been married for 3 years. This is my second marriage. I do love wife very deeply and she loves me. She has had many previous sex partners (around 25) and we met each other when she was 40. There is something I can not get over: She does not...
A. 30 December 2012: Very few women have orgasms from intercourse. A vagina is not an inside-out penis, vaginas have very few nerve endings and are built for childbirth, not pleasure. 25-30% of women EVER have an orgasm that way. The rest do it the way your wife does.
... (read in full...)
An Alpha male in my midst. Do I feel this way about him because he's more manly than my boyfriend?
Q. I have a long very term, live-with boyfriend. I have always been loyal to him. My neighbor is very close to my family and is pretty much an extension of such, he comes to visit on holidays and is welcomed into my home no questions asked... A ...
A. 30 December 2012: I think you just feel this way because of a grass is greener thing. What you're describing doesn't sound any different from other women who have considered leaving their current guy for another just because they thought he was interested. What ... (read in full...)
Seeking advice as considering getting an IUD. Can you explain any issues to consider? Side affects?
Q. I am a 22 year old female considering getting an IUD implanted. I have had one sex partner, and we are exclusive. I am wondering, if this things are so good...why does not everyone get one? I want to get one, but I am quite tight down there...
A. 30 December 2012: I am wondering, if this things are so good...why does not everyone get one?
Cost, uncomfortable insertion, some potentially bad side effects (most of which are uncomfortable as opposed to dangerous). No form of birth control is totally perfect. IUDs... (read in full...)
I don't know how to approach women. Is there any easy way to do so?
Q. Hey all! I could do with some tips on how to approach people more. I don't mean to sound full of myself but I am a fairly attractive and athletic guy who shouldn't have any problem meeting women. However, when it comes to the communication si...
A. 29 December 2012: Go up and introduce yourself. That's all you have to do. If she was giving you the come hither eyes, my guess is she would do the talking once you did. Good ways to start, introduce yourself first. You can make a compliment on something non-sexual ... (read in full...)
How do we tell people that I'm dating my former teacher?
Q. i am dating this guy who is older than me i am 18 and he is 25 we have been dating for just over 2 months and before we started dating he was my teacher nothing happened whilst i was at college only afterwards how do we tell people what wil...
A. 29 December 2012: One of my professors married his student with a slightly larger age gap. They've been together 30 or 35 years. I won't lie and say students didn't make jokes about it behind his back, but they are happy and that's what matters.
No it's not wron... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend only wants material things from me
Q. I've been w my boyfriend for almost 2 years and I made the mistake in spoiling him and now I feel like the only thing he wants from me is material things. We haven't been intimate in over a year and I'm lucky enough to see him once a month. I love ...
A. 29 December 2012: You only see each other once a month AND you don't have sex? It sounds like this relationship is already over. You need to talk to him and find out what's going on, but I don't think he even wants to try.... (read in full...)
How do I ask my boyfriend is he was/is a ladykiller?
Q. My brothers friend and i have recently began a relationship after a few months of fwb. We really like each other and have talked about moving in together in march after my lease is up on my own flat. My brother however has put serious doubt in...
A. 29 December 2012: I think you should put off moving in together for a bit until you are really sure you can trust him. Talk to your landlord about a shorter lease, like 6 months instead of a year. That way you two can spend more time together and really get to know ... (read in full...)
How is a woman who hates porn ever going to know for sure she's with someone who doesn't watch it?
Q. I've been on this site for awhile now, and one topic in particular really stands out to me: the whole porn debate. I've read many peoples' opinions from both sides of the issue, and I think they all make some good points, but there is one thing I ...
A. 29 December 2012: My boyfriend was the one who first suggested neither of us look at it when we were dating. He also has Aspergers and struggles with the concept of lying to spare my feelings. He's really bad at it. Without being too specific, I work in computers and ... (read in full...)
He says he knows nothing of the texts he received. Subsequently he took longer to climax. Are all these indications that he may be cheating?
Q. if a man takes longer that usual to climax, does that mean he might have had intercourse recently? I confronted him about a female (and about some texts from her). This confrontation took place three days after the texts were sent. He tried to pus...
A. 29 December 2012: I doubt it means he recently had sex with someone, but it could be an emotional thing. I think the texts sound very suspicious and agree that you should listen to your gut here. Unfortunately in these situations when you have a feeling it's often ... (read in full...)
How do I politely say "no" to men I'm not interested in on an online dating site?
Q. i got a dilemma, i signed up for a dating website not so long ago. and over all it is fine, what I am finding harder than i though, is replying to messages of men i am not interested in, i try to turn them down as politely as i can but there is...
A. 29 December 2012: Those guys who demand an explanation and response are serious assholes anyways. How much more entitled can they get? We're not talking about guys you've even dated, this is basically the equivalent of a guy walking up to you on the street and saying ... (read in full...)
Should I come clean about my past?
Q. I've been in a relationship for a year, and I lied to him at the start about never having done anything except kissing other guys, but the truth is that although I'm a virgin (even though I'm well into my twenties), I have done more than just ...
A. 29 December 2012: If it's going to eat at you for the rest of your relationship you should, because really why would you want to be in a relationship where you're feeling constant guilt?... (read in full...)
How do I politely say "no" to men I'm not interested in on an online dating site?
Q. i got a dilemma, i signed up for a dating website not so long ago. and over all it is fine, what I am finding harder than i though, is replying to messages of men i am not interested in, i try to turn them down as politely as i can but there is...
A. 29 December 2012: Just ignore them. You don't owe them a reason just because they copied and pasted their standard greeting into an email. Just don't respond.... (read in full...)
How can I prevent the guy friend always being the tag-along friend whenever we plan to go out or do anything? What can I do?
Q. Hi guys, I hope somebody can help me with a small problem, its short and simple really but the solution is more difficult. I have recently met a beautiful man, who I have started to like, not a lot but want to just keep hanging out etc and see what...
A. 28 December 2012: Ask the new guy on a date. If you are having trouble being that bold, just be up front with your best friend that you want to try going alone with him.... (read in full...)
LDR: Attention seeker? Hypochondriac? Or really sick? Cheated in the past. Am I wasting my time with her?
Q. I've been dating this girl for a while now. Today makes it 5 months. She's in a different country from me, so there's the first problem of distance. However, we try to overcome it. First of all, I found out she had sex with a friend of mine, ...
A. 28 December 2012: I agree with SVC, I really don't see the problem with anything. She sounds normal and she was up front. She gets cramps and colds like all other women do, she has exes, like most people do. Almost every woman has had urinary tract issues at least ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else had a back brace for scoliosis? I need one but I'm worried. What is the procedure?
Q. hi, i need to get a back brace for my scoliosis and i've been told by many others that when they take a mould of your back to make the brace, they will ask you to take your clothes off and only stand their in only your underwear and nothing else. p...
A. 28 December 2012: I have never had scoliosis, but I did have to have a pelvic exam at around your age and I was SO scared about how I looked, but it really was nothing! They are professionals AND you are very young, there is nothing sexual to it at all. Everyone ... (read in full...)
What are reasons for delayed periods other than pregnancy and stress?
Q. My periods are 5 days late, took a preg test came out neg. I do have usual signs I get when I'm gonna be on periods and I don't have any preg signs. Besides stress( of which I don't have) what are the reasons for delayed periods? Should I be ...
A. 28 December 2012: You shouldn't be worried yet. However, if you have other symptoms of thyroid problems or any other health issues you should see a doctor to make sure everything is OK.
Also take another pregnancy test and be sure you use the first urine in the m... (read in full...)
How long should we wait before having sex?
Q. It seems to be the biggest dilemma in dating today. With no hard-and-fast social rules, men and women are on their own to determine when is the best time to introduce a physical component to their budding love relationship. The good news is tha...
A. 28 December 2012: I agree with AuntyEm completely "I'd be wary of anyone who wants to rush into sex. Often it means they have low self esteem and think they can hang onto you if they offer sex up front."
There's nothing wrong with taking it slow. In fact, I think ... (read in full...)
Since my miscarriage and his uncaring attitude I don't think I can love him any more. What are my options?
Q. I have really been feeling like I've grown to hate my boyfriend at times. There are times when I think what would I do without him? I feel I don't want to leave him because all my friends either live on the other side of the country or I've ...
A. 28 December 2012: Two things. First, you need to leave this guy. You are with him for ALL of the wrong reasons. You don't love him, you just hope he can get you pregnant. He doesn't love or care about you either, since he refuses to participate in any kind of ... (read in full...)
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