| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 3 May 2013: The last survey I saw on the issue said that 70% of men have lied to their partner about their usage at least to some extent (some flat out lie some lie about the amount of time spent or whether they've paid for it etc...).... (read in full...)
He's secretly masturbating when we're in bed and he thinks I'm asleep!
Q. I really don't know where to start - my boyfriend and I have been together a little more than ten years we've been through a lot together and we also have two beautiful children together, anyways about three years ago i started some medication that ...
A. 18 December 2012: This is the most literal example of this I've ever heard:
http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/
He's behaving both disrespectfully and in a very privileged way. In one ... (read in full...)
Does your significant other tell you that he finds other women attractive?
Q. My significant other will comment about women on tv or about coworkers. The other day it was a sitcom and the supporting actor was dating a woman and the actor said she was hot. Then the woman appeared and my SO goes Wow! and then Wow! again. Then ...
A. 18 December 2012: Noticing other people is a very different situation from noticing and commenting. My boyfriend will only comment on it if I ask. Never unsolicited.
Have you tried talking to him about it/telling him it's hurting your self-esteem?... (read in full...)
He got pissed off and told me to leave when I told him I didn't like oral sex...
Q. I have been talking to this guy for 4 months now and I think the relationship is based on sex. He drives trucks and is on the road a lot which leaves us to hang out 2 or 3 times a week. Whenever we hang out its just at his house we watch movies eat ...
A. 18 December 2012: Couldn't have said it better than SVC, you are indeed a penis-holder. Don't look back. Don't talk to him again. You are not his masturbation toy.... (read in full...)
Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models?
Q. Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models? I feel like I'm helpless, my ex made me feel like this. We were on about glamour modelling, he said something like do you think you could be one, ...
A. 18 December 2012: Your ex is an ass. I wish I could have helped you retort "and your dick is enough for you to do it?" With enough photoshop and makeup, anyone can look like anything. Those women are normal women, they look just like you and me without the heavy ... (read in full...)
He says "it's not what I think it is". But why am I not enough for him? Why does he need to talk to other girls?
Q. Question Especially geared for the men MrX and I have been dating since June. We are monogamous with each other (sexually) I know most of his friends, but not his family and although we act like it, he really won't commit to saying he's my a...
A. 18 December 2012: No what you did isn't deplorable. I think the kneejerk reaction of people to say "how DARE you look at his stuff" is a little over the top. You had suspicions and confirmed them.
He is angry because you discovered what he was hiding, and it's eas... (read in full...)
Does female ejaculation smell like urine?
Q. Mostly ladies responses are needed here but men you will be helpful too..... I am new to adult toys and have only had sexual intercourse with someone once. Not trying to be explicit so I will be as conservative about this as possible. Wak...
A. 17 December 2012: It sounds like you just peed.
It can smell faintly like urine, it comes out the same tube, but it shouldn't really smell strongly at all. You should have an orgasm at least near the time you do it, though they sometimes don't happen right at the s... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend that a guy only dated her for a bet?
Q. A few days ago I found out my best friend was a victim of a bet. She dated a friend (let's call him X) of our very good guy friend for like two weeks and then he left her saying he has to focus on school, bla bla, some lame excuse like that. She ...
A. 17 December 2012: I would keep it to yourself. Who knows, maybe he liked her too and they'll get back together, or not and she'll move on. Either way, the only thing telling her will do is make her feel foolish. It won't help her in any way.... (read in full...)
I was abused in the past. Do I have the right to become celibate in my relationship?
Q. After years of having sexual problems, I have decided to become celibate. This is due to extreme anxiety and depression before and after sex that stems from emotional and slight sexual abuse. I was never forcibly raped, however, no matter how hard...
A. 17 December 2012: Of course you are not obligated to provide sex. Does your boyfriend know that every time you have sex it feels like reliving rape? I doubt he'd be too happy to hear that.
You need to get yourself into counseling so that you can try to recover ... (read in full...)
Am I losing my libido?
Q. Hi guys! It's me, again. That boyfriend that I've been talking about? Yeah, we've been together for over a year now, (hurrah, huzzah, love conquers all!) and I couldn't be happier with him. I do have a little problem, though. Recently, my li...
A. 17 December 2012: "And no, I don't expect an orgasm every time we have sex. More often than not I don't have one- which is perfectly okay. I'm more emotional than I am physical and he tends to be the same way. :)"
I wouldn't dismiss this so quickly. You say your libi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he wants to be with me after I cheated but he's calling me names!
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend of a year in a really bad way. I've been honest about it and admitted it. I'd like to work it out and understand he is angry, disgusted and a lot of other things. He says he wants to be with me...BUT he keeps calling me ...
A. 17 December 2012: The way it has to work is that either he has to make the decision to forgive you, or you two need to break up. If he makes the decision to forgive, that means no punishing or abusive behavior. If he wants it might be worth trying the counseling for ... (read in full...)
Why can't anyone understand how much scoliosis is hurting me?
Q. My physio theropist told me that i have scoliosis and where its pushing on my muscle my muscle keeps getting spasms. She said that it is only minor but they dont understand how much it hurts. They didnt even give me an x-ray just exercises which i ...
A. 17 December 2012: We can't, only your doctor can. You need to insist to them that the pain you are feeling isn't minor. Make sure they know how bad it is. Doctors don't have much time to spend with individual patients so they tend to give the easiest first diagnosis. ... (read in full...)
Boarding school with my (fresh) ex
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months recently broke up with me. Her reasoning was that she didn't understand herself - she was going through a whirlwind of emotions and even though we tried having a break, it didn't work out in her end. Obviously I was...
A. 16 December 2012: "I really want to try getting back together with her, seeing that it would be mutually beneficial at least while we are at boarding together."
This is not a good idea. Get this idea out of your head or this semester is going to be terrible for you.... (read in full...)
Anyone know this average?
Q. What is the average number of men a 26 yr old girl has slept with?...
A. 16 December 2012: The average number of sex partners for a woman's lifetime is 4. The average number of sex partners for whoever you are asking about is whatever her actual number is. My number is lower than that. Two of my friends are still virgins. One of my ... (read in full...)
Is hair removal cream safe to use on the penis?
Q. Hey all! Just a quick question about hair removal. I have quite long hairs on the underside of the shaft of my penis. I read this was common in circumsized males when I first noticed them but I would prefer it if I could remove them. So i...
A. 16 December 2012: I would say no, but women use it on their outer labia sometimes (they're not supposed to, but some do) so do a small (very small, like dime sized) test patch first.
As a woman I would find stubble on a penis way more of a turn off than hair. St... (read in full...)
Am I losing my libido?
Q. Hi guys! It's me, again. That boyfriend that I've been talking about? Yeah, we've been together for over a year now, (hurrah, huzzah, love conquers all!) and I couldn't be happier with him. I do have a little problem, though. Recently, my li...
A. 16 December 2012: Yes depo can absolutely cause a loss of libido. Every hormonal bc is different so if there was one you tried that didn't give you side-effects, you may want to try going back to it. Or you can also try a non-hormonal one for awhile (like condoms) to ... (read in full...)
Pregnant? Condom slipped a bit and I'm worried about the chances of pregnancy. Any advice?
Q. I was having sex with a condom on and the i were on top.I ejaculated into the condom while still inside of her and we continued for few minutes. Condom doesn't break and slipped down maybe 0,2 -0,5 inch . Is there higher chance of pregnancy?...
A. 15 December 2012: Was there semen at the base? If so, there is a chance. If not, then probably not. We can't really answer. The risk isn't 0. You should never continue having sex after you've ejaculated (if you are using condoms), as you can push semen out the base ... (read in full...)
I've been feeling smothered by a relationship. If I have to break it off, how can I do it?
Q. I just got out of a relationship and wanted to spend some time alone with myself to learn more about me. Maybe 2 months later I met a guy who was cute, funny, and really smart. In my past relationship I was dating a girl (I am a girl too) and it w...
A. 15 December 2012: If you don't see a future break up with him. Don't let it linger and don't leave him hanging. If you've been dating for awhile it's pretty cowardly to just give him the silent treatment until he goes away. Tell him you've enjoyed the time you've ... (read in full...)
We have a 7 month old son together. How do I turn my broken relationship around?
Q. How do I turn my relationship around? I really need some positive advice right now. My boyfriend and I have a 7 month old son now and have been together for two years. I grew up in a very abusive environment and he grew up on the streets. ...
A. 15 December 2012: If he has to work a ton to support you, why don't you get a job too to help out? He'd probably be a lot less cranky if he had more free time.... (read in full...)
Am I losing her already? She was so grumpy today. It is unlike her. Why?
Q. So I have been dating a girl for a couple months now. She is incredible and I am so lucky to know her. We became exclusive a month ago and have been loving it. On Wednesday we spent the whole day together and she held my hand and was sad to say g...
A. 15 December 2012: I normally hate saying this, but maybe she's on her period? Definitely do not ask though.
Just give her some space for the next few days and see what happens. If nothing happens for a few days, just ask what's wrong. But give her space for now.... (read in full...)
Masturbating as a teen: Is that likely to negatively affect the sex in a committed marriage later on?
Q. When females masturbate at a young age, can it affect their marriage bond later when they have sex with a spouse have sex? I am 17 years old, and I have been in a relationship that has been sexually active. The problem was, none of my past boy...
A. 15 December 2012: Masturbating is one of the absolute best ways to ensure women have a good sex life later on. Whenever women have trouble orgasming with a partner the first advice is pretty much always "masturbate." Unfortunately women generally don't have a very ... (read in full...)
Stupid or not? Can having too much sex make you gain weight?
Q. hey all.. Im gonna keep this short..im a black girl and i was wondering if maybe a myth i heard could be right...the myth is HavIng too much sex can make you gain weight'?? I disagree.. I think its stupid. But its going around at the moment...
A. 15 December 2012: Sex unfortunately doesn't burn many calories. I haven't heard that rumor, but no matter what it isn't going to be a very strong effect if it does release hormones. I have sex near daily and am very slender and so is my boyfriend. However, when we ... (read in full...)
Why did she bleed when we had sex?
Q. please ladies, help with this one. i am extremely curious about something that happened to me. i met this wonderful girl and we became roommates, we were only aqcuitences before, but once we were together the first week i asked her out to the movies ...
A. 15 December 2012: So let me get this straight. You blackmailed her into having sex she didn't want, and then were very rough with her, AND she was almost certainly a virgin, and are surprised when she bled? She was probably in a lot of pain and probably feels very ... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 15 December 2012: What point specifically am I not responding to? I went back through and re-read them and didn't see anything else.
"The onus is on the people who hate it to ensure they don't have to deal with it,"
70% of men admit lying about it, so how are wome... (read in full...)
Is keeping things from exes and stealing panties normal for a guy?
Q. I've been dating my bf 8 months now. Everything felt perfect at first, like it was meant to be and everyone still says so, but I feel uncomfortable with him lately. He keeps presents and cards saying "I love you" etc. from past girlfriends. He ...
A. 15 December 2012: Is stealing panties and masturbating with them normal... No, not even a little. That's incredibly creepy and I don't blame you for feeling grossed out and scared that he could violate another woman's boundaries like that.
There are many reasons ... (read in full...)
First date and he wants to kiss me. Not sure how I feel about it?
Q. am 17 and on saturday am going to my first ever date this guy is older than me his 22 and we going to the cinema. he wants to kiss me and I have never kissed a guy before (any advice will be appreciated) I dont know what to do especially with ...
A. 15 December 2012: The first kiss is always scary, but that's part of the reason it's so fun! Lots of butterflies. You should just follow his lead at first. Don't try to eat or lick his face and you will do fine! I guess the only tip I have is to not open your mouth ... (read in full...)
Am I right or wrong for wanting for being upset over him winding me up over the fact that I've loaned him money?
Q. just a minor issue really.. just want to know if im right or wrong... just leant my boyfriend £1000 towards a deposit on a new flat for him.. dont want to move in with him and have no probs with him paying me back at all.. just when I txt him to ...
A. 14 December 2012: I agree that he probably feels like his ego is bruised needing to borrow money and he tried to cover it up.
I also agree you should make very certain you get this money back and get dates on payments from him, he doesn't sound very mature.... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 14 December 2012: "It's no more a lie of omission than not telling a girl you think she's fat. I guess we should tell everyone, everything and have no privacy just in case that thing is something they don't like? I don't think so."
That's a ridiculous comparis... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 14 December 2012: "Cheating hurts even if the person doesn't know about it, porn is not the same at all."
60% of the female population would disagree with you there. Porn is something that needs to be talked about up front. It would be one thing if she didn't brin... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 14 December 2012: You're splitting hairs here. Lying by omission is still lying. Unless your girlfriend says "I'm OK with porn but please keep it out of my sight" then you are lying by omission. If it hurts her so much that you have to hide it and sneak around and ... (read in full...)
Why does your partners use of pornography bother you?
Q. Why does your partner's use of porn bother you? My reason is because they are getting off on someone that isn't me, I have noticed alot of other women saying it is disgusting and degrading that doesn't bother me as much as the fact it is a woman ...
A. 14 December 2012: There are many reasons, I think yours is most common, jealousy. Also betrayal if he was lying.
I have many links about this on my profile, I recommend you take a look. They might be helpful.... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 14 December 2012: "It would be lying by omission if I thought the woman I was seeing wouldn't like it, I never thought that."
If you never thought that or think that then why do you put so much effort into completely eliminating any evidence? If you thought she woul... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 14 December 2012: If you went "oh Angelina Jolie is super hot" it's a completely different thing from going "oh Angelina Jolie is super hot" and then going, finding naked photos of her and masturbating to them.
It is lying by omission. I read your article and you ... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 14 December 2012: Cerberus you have admitted that you have completely hidden your porn from many of your previous girlfriends. You don't know if they would have been bothered because you were lying to them and never got caught.
Gushing over a celebrity is very dif... (read in full...)
I just found out a girl I really like has a boyfriend. Should I still attempt to get to know her?
Q. First, just a short question, should I feel sorry for flirting with her a little bit before I knew she's already seeing someone? She was really nice about everything towards me. Anyway, I asked this girl I like for her number, but she said tha...
A. 14 December 2012: Male anon, we are not property, we think for ourselves and decide who we are with.... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being rejected by girls. What is it that I'm doing wrong with girls?
Q. girls, a question for you... why is it that girls can complain so much about things guys don't do, but then when a guy does those very things girls cry? i have been in four relationships, still in the fourth one as of now. but every girl i've...
A. 14 December 2012: "why is it that women seem to want something so so badly, almost universally women will say it's what they want,"
We do? Look, we're not chemistry experiments or cakes. There's no formula for making girls like you. All of these things you've list... (read in full...)
I had a vasectomy 4 years ago...so why was my wife was taking birth control pills?
Q. Quick question for any women out there. I am married for 12 years, 3 kids, no "issues" per se. I’m a good dad, provider, etc. My wife is a good mom, hard worker and loves me. We went through a period though about 2-3 years ago for around 12 ...
A. 14 December 2012: Almost 20% of women have taken the pill for non-contraceptive reasons. I took them for 2 years because I had ovarian cysts, several of my friends had irregular periods, several more took them for continuous spotting. It's very common.
Was there an... (read in full...)
Should I break up with her? Is the bus an okay place to do that?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and after a while I have decided to break up with her, I just want to know if these are justified reasons for doing so. 1. She consistently talks to her friends about other guys, but keeps it...
A. 14 December 2012: "I plan to break up with her on the bus. Do you guys think that would be an okay place to break up?"
No that is the worst place I can think of break up with someone. Would you want to be emotionally crushed in a very public space where not only are ... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: It's not really bizarre at all, she's simply a cheater who doesn't cope well with being called out. Just leave.... (read in full...)
I feel bad about my sex appeal knowing mean watch much better on a porn movie. Am I second best in a guy's estimation if he watches porn?
Q. I know there are many questions about porn, but plese bear with me. So when men watch porn, do they watch it for the women's bodies? Especially girl on girl, or girls masturbating, or stripping, ie. porn that doesn't involve men at all (so it's not...
A. 13 December 2012: If you dress up for Halloween you are still a real person. They wear a lot of makeup, but that doesn't mean what happens on screen isn't actually happening in real life.
This whole "women just don't understand" thing is a total cop out. It's muc... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 13 December 2012: "My girlfriend is very insecure of me seeing porn. Still, it does not stop her from watching it and commenting on the size of men`s penises. I think insecurity and double standards go hand in hand most of the time."
She could also be doing it on p... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: "I am projecting my own dishonesty on to her"
Other way around dude! Lucky for you, she doesn't deal well with being put on the spot and you know her true colors. It's classic cheating behavior for the cheater to accuse the other of constant... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 13 December 2012: "I got no respect at all for them. I think they have no decency, yet I get off hearing them do nasty things."
This is why porn is harmful. Do you realize how much of a hypocrite you are? You dehumanize these women and act hateful towards them, but ... (read in full...)
I feel bad about my sex appeal knowing mean watch much better on a porn movie. Am I second best in a guy's estimation if he watches porn?
Q. I know there are many questions about porn, but plese bear with me. So when men watch porn, do they watch it for the women's bodies? Especially girl on girl, or girls masturbating, or stripping, ie. porn that doesn't involve men at all (so it's not...
A. 13 December 2012: Can we please stop calling porn stars sluts and whores and saying they're "fake?" They are real human beings. I know that if you're feeling insecure about porn, either from watching and not measuring up or your partner watching and you feeling hurt ... (read in full...)
I just found out a girl I really like has a boyfriend. Should I still attempt to get to know her?
Q. First, just a short question, should I feel sorry for flirting with her a little bit before I knew she's already seeing someone? She was really nice about everything towards me. Anyway, I asked this girl I like for her number, but she said tha...
A. 13 December 2012: No don't try to get to know her better. Either she's taken (off limits) or she's rejected you (off limits), but either way, she is off limits and you need to stop pursuing her. Getting rejected sucks, but you just have to dust yourself off and move ... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?
Q. Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...
A. 12 December 2012: Scientists have wasted a lot of time on this, but when people in general watch porn the brain thinks what's happening on screen is happening to them. It's called mirror neurons. Even if the person isn't consciously thinking, oh I want to pretend ... (read in full...)
I feel bad about my sex appeal knowing mean watch much better on a porn movie. Am I second best in a guy's estimation if he watches porn?
Q. I know there are many questions about porn, but plese bear with me. So when men watch porn, do they watch it for the women's bodies? Especially girl on girl, or girls masturbating, or stripping, ie. porn that doesn't involve men at all (so it's not...
A. 12 December 2012: Your boyfriend sounds like an ass to be honest. He seems to have absorbed every possible negative message from porn and treats you like you would expect a guy raised on porn to treat a woman. Like a sex toy to live out his porn fantasies who doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I losing my libido?
Q. Hi guys! It's me, again. That boyfriend that I've been talking about? Yeah, we've been together for over a year now, (hurrah, huzzah, love conquers all!) and I couldn't be happier with him. I do have a little problem, though. Recently, my li...
A. 12 December 2012: Several things.
As someone already mentioned, are you on libido killing meds? Common ones: birth control pills and anti-anxiety or anti-depressants. Those can wreck your libido. The BCPs can even just randomly start doing it after months of not. ... (read in full...)
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