| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Since my miscarriage and his uncaring attitude I don't think I can love him any more. What are my options?
Q. I have really been feeling like I've grown to hate my boyfriend at times. There are times when I think what would I do without him? I feel I don't want to leave him because all my friends either live on the other side of the country or I've ...
A. 28 December 2012: Two things. First, you need to leave this guy. You are with him for ALL of the wrong reasons. You don't love him, you just hope he can get you pregnant. He doesn't love or care about you either, since he refuses to participate in any kind of ... (read in full...)
Fake FB account and now I'm stuck. What do I do?? I never meant to hurt anyone.
Q. i know.i messed up. i know i hurt people. i just want advice though. okay sorry if this is long.i fell fast and hard for a male friend. well i wanted to find out if he was insterested in anyone without him knowing i liked him. so i made a fa...
A. 28 December 2012: With your followup, I'm thinking he might know it's you.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that a guy tried to kiss his fiancee in a nightclub?
Q. I was in a nightclub the other night when a guy i know tried to kiss my friends fiancee. She moved her face so that he kissed her on the cheek rather than the lips he was aiming for. They then just continued to chat. I am now in a dilemma as to wh...
A. 28 December 2012: Why would you tell him? You could ruin their relationship. She didn't do anything wrong, she didn't let the guy kiss her, and she's trying to avoid conflict because there doesn't need to be any. Whereas if you tell her boyfriend he's going to assume ... (read in full...)
Fake FB account and now I'm stuck. What do I do?? I never meant to hurt anyone.
Q. i know.i messed up. i know i hurt people. i just want advice though. okay sorry if this is long.i fell fast and hard for a male friend. well i wanted to find out if he was insterested in anyone without him knowing i liked him. so i made a fa...
A. 28 December 2012: Take this as a lesson, you could have started out as yourself because clearly he likes you/your messages. I bet if you had just been up front about it, he would have gone out with you. You're in your 20's, not your teens, so this was a very immature ... (read in full...)
How do people so young achieve so much in a short time?
Q. I know i'm going by television here, but i'm sure this is a reality for some people. But i've always wondered how is it that people in Los Angeles for example, live in these massive houses and always have these parties with so many people!! But the ...
A. 27 December 2012: There are people who do things like, invent facebook, and then there are people who have rich parents. BIG difference between the two. I've met both types. Most self-made successful people don't become successful until their 40's or 50's.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be addicted to masturbation? It's becoming distracting.
Q. Is it possible to be addicted to masturbation? Can't stop fantasising and it's stressing me out. It's not like I want a boyfriend or want a sexual partner. I rather not be sexually active and get tangled in at all that at the moment.It's real...
A. 24 December 2012: Actually I think it might be beneficial to you to do it more. Two weeks is a long time. Everyone needs a release. You are saying you fantasize and feel horny a lot, not that you masturbate a lot. I could be misreading your question, but it sounds ... (read in full...)
Been having an affair. If I don't tell his wife she may be ruining her own life with a cheater!
Q. I've been having an affair with a man who's wife doesn't currently live with him because of their jobs. I am also not sure he's even married to her yet. They live in two different states. She has decided to keep her job because of seniority and ...
A. 24 December 2012: I kind of feel like you are doing this a little bit as payback for him dumping you.
Though on the flipside, I do think that given the huge change she's about to make, maybe she should know. Not sure how to go about it, that's up to you. But hone... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in the doldrums, are we doomed? He has the start of ED. His suggestion is a threesome, but I'm not so keen.
Q. My husband and I were talking about our sex life just a moment ago. He mentioned how sore he is from all the sex (which has been almost everyday...and I know he masturbates as well, but I think he has done that more in the last week than we have had ...
A. 24 December 2012: There is no easy way to bring it up, you just have to sit down and do it. You should tell him that you've noticed your sex life has gone down the drain as his porn use has increased and that you think he has problem and needs to seek help. He'll ... (read in full...)
7 months pregnant and sex has dwindled. Does this make my husband more likely to cheat?
Q. I am 7 months pregnant and me and my husband no longer are as sexually active as we were before I got bigger. This is not my first pregnancy but more unexpected. He says he is just not attracted to pregnant women like that and never has been. It was ...
A. 24 December 2012: He's not more likely to cheat due to the sex dwindling but he is more likely with friends who condone cheating. Pregnancy is the only time you're allowed to pull the "crazy card" and for the duration you can always ask him to not hang out with them ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to do this? And even if it's not, is it wrong not to tell my new Gf that I do watch this type of porn?
Q. Ok I just got into watching cartoon porn nothing like animals or tenticle types mainly just like girls from tv shows like avatar or american dad any way I have a friend who broke up because his girlfriend didn't like him looking at henti I'm st...
A. 24 December 2012: If you lie about your porn habits then yes, that is wrong. If she asks don't lie. If you lie, when she finds out (and she will) she will probably never fully trust you again. So if she asks, you need to be up front that you watch. If it is the ... (read in full...)
Women's perspective on a guy's height please.
Q. Ladies, I'd like to hear from you how you feel about height as it relates to attraction. Is it a non-negotiable for you that your man be taller than you are? What about when he's taller than you, but not taller than you in heels? I'm 5'8" and l...
A. 24 December 2012: Tallness is a perk if it's there but not a negative if it isn't. 5'8" isn't short though. My boyfriend is 5'11" I think and I'm 5'6". Shorter guys are easier to kiss! I'd take a nice short guy over a tall guy who was a jerk any day. I'd also take a ... (read in full...)
How should I react when he upsets me?
Q. My boyfriend and I are both in our mid twenties. We've been together 2 years. I've always been the kind of girl in a relationship that when something bugs me, I freak out, start yelling, threatening to break up etc. I also have some trust issue...
A. 24 December 2012: Maybe you should react this time by actually breaking up with him. He cheated on you and broke your trust, now you don't trust him and are trying to force yourself to trust him.
You can't make yourself trust. It's been a year and you still do... (read in full...)
Engaged but having second thoughts.
Q. Just got engaged but now Im having second thoughts, and these thoughts are not leaving me alone. Won't get into details why Im feeling like this, but let's just say I don't feel as loved and appreciated as I think I should feel, especially after ...
A. 24 December 2012: Marriage does not fix problems, it only exacerbates them. It's a common thing to try and you're lucky you recognized it before you actually got married. No one will say anything mean to you, chances are they already knew he wasn't right for you. ... (read in full...)
He makes me wet and it makes me uncomfortable.
Q. Okay so I'm 16 and so is my boyfriend. Were both Virgins and we do want to wait till marriage for sex so instead we Dry Hump. Im usually in leggings or sweat pants and hes usually in gym shorts. But he says he wants to try to do it with pants off ...
A. 24 December 2012: First off, wetness is totally normal. That's a GOOD thing and means you are enjoying it. You shouldn't be embarrassed by it.
But second off, you shouldn't do anything you aren't ready for. Going from clothes on to clothes off is a big step and... (read in full...)
I can't stop snooping on my boyfriend!
Q. I can't stop sying on my bf's social networking mailbox and phone! We got together in summer and he lived in states, we were casual but as he was travelling around europe, he decided to come back and see me again, i told him as long as he ...
A. 24 December 2012: Snooping is like a drug to some people. You get an adrenaline rush thinking about how you're definitely going to find something and you get hooked on it. Before you know it, you find it impossible to trust him without the constant reassurance of ... (read in full...)
He said his son was conceived in a toilet stall, I can't stop thinking about it.
Q. I am 28 and my boyfriend is 49. He told me something yesterday that has really upset me. I don't even know why he told me ( maybe it was because he was drunk when he told me ). He said that he and his ex wife conceived their son in a toilet cubicle ...
A. 24 December 2012: What "kind" of person is it exactly who has sex in a toilet stall? It's just being a little adventurous/drunk. They were married, not some random drunken hook up! I hate to use this word, ever, but I think you're being a little prude here. He's not ... (read in full...)
How can I ask my LDR about his reluctance to find time for me without me sounding clingy?
Q. hello guys, happy holidays! anyway having this things in my mind is really confusing me, i really dont know if this could be a problem, or im just needy and demanding girlfriend, here it is im with a amazing man right now were been 3 years kn...
A. 23 December 2012: I don't think you should talk to him about it. He's exhausted and finds time to talk for a whole hour! That's serious dedication on his part. It would sound very needy to ask for more than an hour on a regular basis. Maybe you should try to set up a ... (read in full...)
After my verbal outburst? Am I reading too much into things? Am I just hearing what I want to hear?
Q. Really need help here Dear Cupid! When I was in my early 20's I met a girl. We got together. Got a place together. All the usual relationship stuff. Anyway, she had several affairs. I'd always take her back. And she'd do the same again. Two...
A. 23 December 2012: It sounds like she wants to be with you too, you just need patience. She needs space. I wouldn't give up yet. Just don't get pushy about it. Sit on your hands for awhile and let her do what she needs to.
Normally in this situation I'd say make a c... (read in full...)
He expects so much. Gives back nothing. Am I not supposed to feel appreciated by my boyfriend?
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 3 years never appreciates me even for things I do for him. However much I do for him and the lengths I go to do things for him, he just treats as if it's my duty to serve him. Am I not supposed to feel appreciated by my b...
A. 23 December 2012: Stop serving him then. Why do you serve him thanklessly?... (read in full...)
We work in the same building. She initiated the conversation. Could there be a chance that she's interested in me?
Q. I work in quite a large organisation in a big office building. For the past 3 days I have walked from the car park into the building behind the same girl. This has been purely coincidental however I won't complain as she is very beautiful. Tod...
A. 22 December 2012: I think you should just talk to her. Her joke doesn't mean she's interested, but it's definitely not a bad sign. Chat with her some more, don't come on too strong, and see what happens.
Pretty sure we're not mostly gold-diggers, I make my own mone... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me to wear makeup or nice clothes
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for these past five months. I love him dearly but he's very possesive. He constantly tells me not to wear make-up and not to wear the latest trends, insisting on letting me wear only shabby clothes. When I tell him why, ...
A. 22 December 2012: He sounds very controlling... Isn't that the basic idea behind head coverings? That a woman's beauty should be reserved for her husband, and only her husband?
If he can't handle the thought of you even being looked at by other people, then the... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in the doldrums, are we doomed? He has the start of ED. His suggestion is a threesome, but I'm not so keen.
Q. My husband and I were talking about our sex life just a moment ago. He mentioned how sore he is from all the sex (which has been almost everyday...and I know he masturbates as well, but I think he has done that more in the last week than we have had ...
A. 22 December 2012: He is bored because he's desensitized himself with porn, not because your sex life is actually boring. The porn is still the problem here, nothing else. The solution isn't for you to spice things up or have a threesome. Just like if an alcoholic was ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this teacher who seems to be ignoring me because he has probably found out about the crush I have on him?
Q. Well, I have has a crush on this teacher in my school for about 6 or 7 months now and I decided to tell my best friends 3 months ago and ever since then he has been ignoring me ( my guidance teacher knows ) and one of my friends was tricked into ...
A. 22 December 2012: That situation is unpleasant, but unfortunately now there's nothing you can do. Just keep your head down and it will blow over. These people who shout your name are not your friends.
If you put some distance between the two of you your crush wi... (read in full...)
My LDR seems sweet and gentle. I'm a virgin. Last night I found out he's into sadistic/masochistic sex. How do I deal with this?
Q. I'm going to try and keep this as brief as possible. Last night I learned that my long-distance boyfriend is into sadistic/masochistic sex. I'm really surprised, because he's a really sweet and gentle guy. I'm a virgin, with zero sexual activit...
A. 22 December 2012: This relationship is going to be frustrating for both of you long term, it's best to cut your losses now and move on. You can't make yourself like these things and if it isn't a part of his sex life he'll probably feel frustrated. Sorry.... (read in full...)
I laughed when he said he loved me - even though I love him too.
Q. ok so I have been talking to a really good guy friend of mine of late and we are really close. we joke about everything and flirt all the time and last night whilst he was drunk he told me that he was serious about loving me. today I asked if he ...
A. 22 December 2012: He won't tell you again. If you have feelings for him too, it's now or never. When you laughed I'm sure he took it as you rejecting him. He already made his move, ball is in your court. I really doubt you will get another chance at this. If you feel ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in the doldrums, are we doomed? He has the start of ED. His suggestion is a threesome, but I'm not so keen.
Q. My husband and I were talking about our sex life just a moment ago. He mentioned how sore he is from all the sex (which has been almost everyday...and I know he masturbates as well, but I think he has done that more in the last week than we have had ...
A. 22 December 2012: Your boyfriend sounds like a porn addict. He masturbates more often than you have sex, can't sustain an erection, requires extreme stimulation, says horribly thoughtless things to you to get what he wants, and suggests/wants things from porn. This ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend let me touch him?
Q. I don't understand, but my boyfriend will touch me anywhere,(lying on my bed with clothes on!) but when I try to touch him, he moves my hand. I've mentioned it a couple of times: why don't you let me touch you and he says that he will "but not yet " ...
A. 21 December 2012: Yes it's a little weird that he wants to touch you but not him. However, you can't push him, you can only decide whether you are OK with being touched but not touching. You can either stop letting him touch you, or continue letting him touch you. ... (read in full...)
My inability to orgasm is causing me to not enjoy sex with the man I love.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. We love each other very much, he's my best friend, he's so caring and we are very affectionate. However, whenever we have sex.....I just don't enjoy it! I find him incredibly attractive, but ...
A. 21 December 2012: Agree with SVC. Very few women orgasm from penetration. Your vagina is really an erogenous zone, not an orgasmic pleasure center. If you orgasm from your vibrator, that's not weird or abnormal or anything, it means you know how to orgasm and you do ... (read in full...)
Why are married men drawn to me?
Q. I really have the hots for this guy that works at my place of business but he is married well actually the both of us are really feeling each other. I know this is wrong but why does this happen to me? it's seems like I attract men that are taken an...
A. 21 December 2012: Because you are interested in him. When people are smitten they often subconsciously send signals that others pick up on. What you view as looking, he sees as lingering, etc... You're not just a married man magnet, you are interested in a married ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend let me touch him?
Q. I don't understand, but my boyfriend will touch me anywhere,(lying on my bed with clothes on!) but when I try to touch him, he moves my hand. I've mentioned it a couple of times: why don't you let me touch you and he says that he will "but not yet " ...
A. 21 December 2012: Not all guys are sex maniacs, just relax. Respect his boundaries, stop pushing him, and enjoy your time together. Go on dates, enjoy each other's company. That's the point of dating. It's not a race to sex.... (read in full...)
I made a mistake and told my long distance love some negative things out of emotion and too much wine! I'm visiting him now and want him to give us a chance!
Q. i made a mistake by telling my long disatnce love negative things out of emotion (and too much wine) that led him to believe we broke up. i am here with him now and the day after i arrived we discussed it more clearly. he said after i said those ...
A. 20 December 2012: If you want this then you just have to go for it. Yes it's scary, but whether you ask or not isn't going to change his answer in a negative way. If you don't ask though, he might never get back together. You just have to put yourself out there, ... (read in full...)
Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!
Q. I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense... Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She as...
A. 20 December 2012: Tell her she should delete her facebook pictures after a week because why the heck would she want to ever see them again or remind others of them? She shouldn't take photos of her vacations either or buy souvenirs, she wouldn't want to remember how ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about my Christmas present?
Q. Ok... I'm just wanting some opinions. Last year for our first Christmas, my boyfriend bought me some electronics. such as a DVD player and a Nintendo wii. (which was nice of him.) I know it was the thought that counts, I am more of a romantic person ...
A. 20 December 2012: My boyfriend got me socks and pepper spray last year, despite having a lot of money. Your boyfriend sounds amazing and those presents are amazing. You told him not to get you anything and he got the jewelry from his daughter, which is very ... (read in full...)
Why is he still lying? Yet begging to resume our relationship? Will he change or continue to go on dating sites if we get back together?
Q. I dumped my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago for going on dating sites and sex texting with girls. He could not even explain who these girls were, so I assumed they were from dating sites. He is still lying and says he never went on those dating s...
A. 20 December 2012: No he won't change. And yes you CAN argue with him having his profile up, if he really wanted you back, he wouldn't be on there! Say farewell and good riddance. Let him have his dating sites.... (read in full...)
If I end things with my boyfriend, would anything happen between my colleague and I? We have slept together before but I'm not sure if he has feelings for me?
Q. Hey guys I'm in an awful mess. Try not to judge me to hard please! I've been living with my bf for about 6 months, we've been together a year before that. 7 or 8 months ago we started to develop problems in our relationship, arguments about ...
A. 20 December 2012: You need to end your relationship officially because the whole thing is already over unofficially. First off, your boyfriend is an absolute control freak, second off he cheated on you. Understandably, you no longer value your relationship at all.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's mother has died and now she is pushing me away, what should I do?
Q. My girlfriends mother has passed away on tuesday,so she had to go back to where she comes from,I could not go with her because her family doesn't really like me,so now I'm consolling her via texting and calling but she just keeps pushin me away and ...
A. 20 December 2012: Tuesday is so recent. You need to give her time. She's probably having trouble even processing what happened and is likely going to be grieving and distant for awhile (weeks, months even). Losing a mother is incredibly hard. Giving her space is the ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's using me for oral sex and doesn't value our friendship anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey guys, hoping you will be able to shed a little light on this situation I'm in. There's this guy I've known for awhile, and before we became friends we fooled around (oral sex) over the summer. After this however, we became close friends. There ...
A. 20 December 2012: "he said he saw me as one of the guys that he could release sexual energy with"
This guy is an absolute pig. You need to cut him out of your life. What he said was "I see you as one of those things I can masturbate into." Not people, things. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was angry that I was ill and didn't want sex so he left late and left my door unlocked all night!
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in an exclusive relationship for over 2 1/2 years we are both middle aged, and live in our separate homes, but we spend almost every night together. Last night my boyfriend comes over later than normal because he had a...
A. 20 December 2012: You are not in a relationship, you are being used as a masturbation toy. This guy is not worth your time, what a horrible thing to do. A boyfriend would not be upset that you were sick, he would at least try to make you feel better. This guy is a ... (read in full...)
Retroactive Jealousy is the brain cancer of happy relationships...and I'm on my deathbed-
Q. I won't bore everyone with the same old story here because the problem here has been identified and well answered by many kind people and suffering men. I suffer severely from retroactive jealousy and have immersed myself in tortured thought...
A. 20 December 2012: A combination of therapy and medication for obsessive thoughts would probably be your best bet for really beating this. Insurance often covers mental health visits, so call them to get a referral for a psychiatrist within your network.... (read in full...)
After a week on talking online he says he loves me and wants to marry me?
Q. I recently placed a personal ad saying i m looking for a mate, I had over 20 response , most of the guys were playing or seeking sex so I finally came across a guy who sound great anyways we chated though email then he gave me his number , we ...
A. 18 December 2012: Cut him off and move on. Like Staceily said, he's either legitimately insane or trying to scam you. How convenient that he wants to get married but lives far enough away that meeting won't work. Unfortunately this is not real, whatever it is.... (read in full...)
He's secretly masturbating when we're in bed and he thinks I'm asleep!
Q. I really don't know where to start - my boyfriend and I have been together a little more than ten years we've been through a lot together and we also have two beautiful children together, anyways about three years ago i started some medication that ...
A. 18 December 2012: This is the most literal example of this I've ever heard:
http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/
He's behaving both disrespectfully and in a very privileged way. In one ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
