A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 6 months recently broke up with me. Her reasoning was that she didn't understand herself - she was going through a whirlwind of emotions and even though we tried having a break, it didn't work out in her end.Obviously I was completely devastated since I loved her, and she even told me that she still loved me even though we couldn't be together. Fair enough I thought, but I wanted a good relationship with my ex - so we're meeting after Christmas for a cup of coffee. Otherwise I haven't been in contact with her for days.Anyways, heres the problem: in january we're starting classes together at the same boarding school. This has been one of the problems in our relationship because she wants to try being independent for the first time in her life (starting in a place with no friends etc) and me being there would ruin that idea. I just can't bear the thought of having to see my ex every single day, even living close to her - especially when our break-up was just weeks before we start. It was be complete mental torture. Should I hope that not contacting her should help? She was obviously distressed and devastated when we broke up, I don't really think she knows what she was doing. I really want to try getting back together with her, seeing that it would be mutually beneficial at least while we are at boarding together..
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (16 December 2012):
 "I really want to try getting back together with her, seeing that it would be mutually beneficial at least while we are at boarding together."
This is not a good idea. Get this idea out of your head or this semester is going to be terrible for you. Break ups hurt, but the fastest way to get over them is give yourself as much distance as you can. Lingering around, getting coffee, and thinking about how nice it would be to get back together will only drag this out longer and make you more miserable. The more you can distance yourself, the better. You need to treat this like ripping off a bandaid. All at once, rather than in slow small pieces. I'm sorry you are going through this, but you will feel better with time.
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