A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Quick question for any women out there. I am married for 12 years, 3 kids, no "issues" per se. I’m a good dad, provider, etc. My wife is a good mom, hard worker and loves me. We went through a period though about 2-3 years ago for around 12 months where we were more roommates than husband\wife. We had sex probably 3 times in that long of a period. Things are back to normal now, but sometimes I think of odd events that happened and wonder if she may have been cheating. It is killing me to think of it even though now, like I said, there are no signs of it, we have regular sex, etc. One thing that makes me wonder is that I got a vasectomy about 4 years ago, but during that bad time in our marriage she started taking birth control pills again. She had only been off of them for about a year when she started taking them again. I asked her why and she said it was for no other reason than to control her period. She said it is easier to predict, etc. Is this true – could this be a reason? She is still taking them by the way.
View related questions:
period, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): yes taking BC can help with controlling the period. but in her case the timing seems suspicious. Why hasn't she always taken BC, not just when the relationship is in jeopardy.? furthermore, does her period 'need' controlling? some women have really bad cramps and other PMS symptoms that they need to take BC just to function normally. Other women like myself dont' need it because we just don't have it that bad and it's not a big deal so I see no reason to 'control' it. what about your wife? does she have a history of hormonal problems with her period, or conveniently only when your marriage is on the rocks?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): She'd probably hide it if it was due to her cheating. Either that or she's a genius and knows that if you caught her it'd look bad.
That being said, the timing was odd in the first place (relationship sucks she starts taking the pill). But now you're probably just being paranoid.
...............................
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (14 December 2012):
Many women are prescribed birth control pills to treat hormonal conditions, treat endometriosis, lessen the effects of PMS or PMDD, or to control when and how often she has a period.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (14 December 2012):
 I am on birth control pills to regulate my periods during peri menopause, not for actual birth control.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): Yes, it's true. I like that aspect of taking the pill. I suffer from menstrual migraines, so I also take several packs of pills before I break for my period to control when I have to suffer through 2 and a half days of migraine pain.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): Birth control helps with PMS symptoms and period regularity. Periods are much lighter, less cramps, and keeps your periods predictable. Many women take birth control just to manage their PMS.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): Very common and I would guess she's probably telling the truth.... I would not worry about it.
So very confused....that was very funny....naming the baby Jesus...that made me LOL!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): She could well be telling the the truth. The pill does regulate periods and evens out moods swings. If she was off the pill during the run up to the bad times or during them, she might have attributed some of the bad stuff to her periods and gone back on the pill to even things out again. If things did improve for you both once she started taking it again, that would point towards her being honest about this. I would let it go and stop worrying about it now because i think you are worrying about nothing and missing out on a happier marriage as a result.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dangerously Enthusiastic. +, writes (14 December 2012):
 I do take the pill mainly for my periods. For some women it does help.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 December 2012):
 Yes, she could be telling you the truth.
If I didn't take the BC pill I would have periods from Hades and PMS from Hell... BC helps keep my hormones in relative check.
Using the pill makes it easier to know exactly when it shows up and if need be (for a vacation for instance) you can "move" it instead of planning around it.. BC are nifty that way.
If there are no other "clues" then the BC pill, I highly doubt she is cheating.
Every couple can have lulls in the frequency of sex - it could be that the BC pill have helped her libido as well. Which might be why you two started to have more sex AFTER she had been back on BC a while.
Seems like you are looking for things to be "wrong"?
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 December 2012):
 Almost 20% of women have taken the pill for non-contraceptive reasons. I took them for 2 years because I had ovarian cysts, several of my friends had irregular periods, several more took them for continuous spotting. It's very common.
Was there any other behavior that made you suspect something?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 December 2012):
 It could be the reason. If she's peri-menopausal her periods could be heavier without the hormones provided by birth control pills. IT also helps to regulate their frequency.
I have a very good friend who had her tubes tied. she divorced and married a man who had a vasectomy. then she started peri-menopause and they put her on birth control pills to help regulate her periods. The joke was that if she got pregnant they were keeping the baby and naming is Jesus.
What else other than BCPs is making you think she's cheating?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): I've heard of taking the pill to regulate your cycle especially if you are heavy and irregular I ha a friend do this.
I also have irregular cycles but my implant completely cuts out my cycle and I have none at all
The made them more regular and eased them up.
As for your wife cheating, I mean I'm not sure if her cycle was not regular surely she would never of stopped taking her pill as she would of known this from how many years of having a period.
Ask her noone can tell you just her
...............................
|
