A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my bf 8 months now. Everything felt perfect at first, like it was meant to be and everyone still says so, but I feel uncomfortable with him lately.He keeps presents and cards saying "I love you" etc. from past girlfriends. He even displays them, keeping stuffed animals from old girlfriends on his bed! I told him I didn't like it. He promised to get rid of them but never did. He just hid them and lied to me again. He said he just likes the object, not the girl it came from, but then why fight so hard to keep them? Then he told me he used to steal a girls' panties and masturbate with them. I didn't want to attack or judge him because he is ashamed of this and I'm the only one he told, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I've been sexually abused so it hurts me to think he violated that girl.Other than that he is a great person. The "nice guys finish last" type. So everyone is glad we're together. If I break up with him, I'll lose all our friends. I do love him, but more as a friend. He swears he loves me but sometimes I feel like he's only dating me because I'm a girl and available. I feel gross when he touches me lately.Is this behavior normal or not? Am I just overreacting and holding the past against him? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (15 December 2012):
 Ewww no!! Stealing panties and masturbating to them is definitely not normal!! Its creepy, to say the very least! If you feel gross around him (and I dont blame you!) then break up with him and find yourself a less creepy boyfriend
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): Yeah, see there's a reason the 'nice guys' finish last, and that's because they are creeps.
Not kidding, every guy that was that type had some sort of creepy sexual thing going.
Yes, he's probably only dating you because you're a girl and available, that's what they do.
Date guys who are nice, not "Nice Guys"
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): Who knows how normal that is... people are perverts and it's not like they go around telling everybody about it.
More importantly you find it disturbing and are not really in love with him so why not let him find someone who really is right for him and the same for you?
If you lose your friends they weren't worth keeping.
...............................
A
female
reader, mimisoph3 +, writes (15 December 2012):
 unfortunately his behavior is not normal a lot, and it may have to do with the whole "nice guys finish last" he may be acting like that because his most likely socially awkward. i dont want to sound mean because i do understand that not everyone is perfect and everyone has flaws. But for a person that has been sexually abused i wouldn't keep him around. something about him just doesn't sound right. everyone can put a face in public but who you are behind closed doors is the real you.good luck and i hope that helps, best wishes
love, mimi.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 December 2012):
 Is stealing panties and masturbating with them normal... No, not even a little. That's incredibly creepy and I don't blame you for feeling grossed out and scared that he could violate another woman's boundaries like that.
There are many reasons for you to end this, he makes you uncomfortable, he's weirdly attached to the memories of his exes, and you're just not very interested in him, just end things and find a less creepy boyfriend.
...............................
|
