A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:When females masturbate at a young age, can it affect their marriage bond later when they have sex with a spouse have sex? I am 17 years old, and I have been in a relationship that has been sexually active. The problem was, none of my past boyfriends have had the ability to make me "climax" because I had gotten so used to the way I had made myself. The only way my boyfriend could actually be successful at it was through a very difficult position, and it took a lot of time, and concentration. I want advice on this one. Someone who who is truly a good kind honourable person. No flippant nasty answers please.I'm afraid that when I do get a husband, I wont be able to release that "tension" and have a special bond with him, if I keep trying to do for myself... Help me! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 December 2012):
 It will not harm your future marriage in any way, it will actually help if you masturbate. If you masturbate you learn to get to know your body, and can show your husband (once married) how to do it. When you masturbate you become more comfortable with yourself and with having an orgasm, and can be more relaxed when you are with your husband.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 December 2012):
 Masturbating is one of the absolute best ways to ensure women have a good sex life later on. Whenever women have trouble orgasming with a partner the first advice is pretty much always "masturbate." Unfortunately women generally don't have a very easy time having orgasms and the vast majority of women cannot orgasm from penetration. 75% of women never orgasm from sex.
The single best way for a guy to be able to get you there is for you to teach him how you like to do it, by putting your hand over his and giving him tips.
Masturbation is definitely a positive thing for your sex life, not a negative!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 December 2012):
You're young, I think at your age orgasms are more of the exception than the rule. Once you and your partners become more experienced and more comfortable with sex you'll be better off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): "When females masturbate at a young age, can it affect their marriage bond later when they have sex with a spouse have sex?"
Yes but only in a positive way. Female sexuality and pleasure can be quite complicated for us guys OP. The fact you masturbate means you know how your body works and you can teach guys how to pleasure you.
"The problem was, none of my past boyfriends have had the ability to make me "climax" because I had gotten so used to the way I had made myself."
No OP, you just didn't teach them how to do it. OP if a guy can't pleasure you it's because she doesn't know how, not because you've "gotten used to" a different way.
If you're talking about intercourse then most women don't climax during intercourse, they need clitoral stimulation at the same time and it's only clit stim that works for them.
"The only way my boyfriend could actually be successful at it was through a very difficult position, and it took a lot of time, and concentration."
There's no need to go to such uncomfortable lengths, just stimulate your clitoris during sex, or get him to do it. It's very easy.
"I'm afraid that when I do get a husband, I wont be able to release that "tension" and have a special bond with him, if I keep trying to do for myself... Help me!"
That's not true. Masturbating is good for you OP, having regular orgasms is a great way to stay satisfied and happy.
Just teach your next guy how you like to fingered, teach him good oral technique on you and stimulate your clitoris during sex.
The fact you know what your body needs to climax is a very good thing, you know many women don't, many have never had an orgasm and many have shit sex lives because they never thought to fully explore their bodies.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): Unfortunately, women are rarely able to climax through sex alone. It's just one of those things, based mainly on the 'positioning' of our vital equipment. Usually men need to put a bit more effort into a woman's orgasm, using fingers, tongue and toys if he is ok with that. Please dont think that masturbating has anything to do with your lack of orgasming during sex, in fact if anything it will make it easier as you know what you like and can easily teach your boyfriend/husband too. Sadly the orgasming together stuff you see in films and in books is rarely how it is in real life.
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