| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Just got engaged but now Im having second thoughts, and these thoughts are not leaving me alone. Won't get into details why Im feeling like this, but let's just say I don't feel as loved and appreciated as I think I should feel, especially after getting engaged. I just feel so embarrassed having to tell so many people that we broke up, after such a short engagement. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? We have been talking about the wedding and all, and now to tell everyone it's not gonna happen, i just feel so embarrassed.. But at the same time i know, i can't go on being unhappy.. But im afraid what people will say, especially my family.. I thought things were going to change after we got engaged but i was wrong and i was stupid.
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broke up, engaged, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 December 2012):
 You write:
***I thought things were going to change after we got engaged but i was wrong and i was stupid.***
Have you even talked to him about this? Don't forget no one is a mind reader. If you want/need something from your partner the best bet is to talk with him about it. But I'm thinking maybe you aren't really seeing yourself with this guy no matter what, long term? And your "excuse" is that you feel neglected ?
Figure out WHAT you want and WHAT you need, talk to him, work it out or end it. I would just suggest if you care about this guy that you look for solutions instead of a way out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2012): You should BE HAPPY that you are calling off the engagement. Think of it as "saved in the nick of time " and not as an embarrassment. Its all in your perspective. Embarrassment is short lived. Locking yourself into a bad relationship lasts much much longer and is much harder to correct your course later on. And who says you even have anything to be embarrassed about anyway. I bet many people will actually respect you more for calling it off. Or at the very least they won't care.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 December 2012):
 Marriage does not fix problems, it only exacerbates them. It's a common thing to try and you're lucky you recognized it before you actually got married. No one will say anything mean to you, chances are they already knew he wasn't right for you. Don't do something so life changing because you're scared of your family. This is a very common thing to worry about, but they are your family. They will love and support you no matter what. I'm sure they will be way more understanding than you are giving them credit for.
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