A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have really been feeling like I've grown to hate my boyfriend at times. There are times when I think what would I do without him? I feel I don't want to leave him because all my friends either live on the other side of the country or I've outgrown and have nothing in common with. I think this all began when I had a miscarriage. I had wanted a baby with my ex very bad and in the end I left him because he didn't want anything more then bragging rights that he was dating me. I got with my boyfriend in hopes that since he was married and had a daughter he would want the same with me. (A/N; he's separated he left his wife when she wouldn't stop cheating on him)I was so excited to be pregnant after months of trying, and he denied me being pregnant. He didn't want me to be pregnant. And wanted to disprove it so much. When I ended up having a miscarriage he didn't care. No one did, my own sister called me stupid. (maybe I was for trying to have a baby with him.) I felt very alone, he didn't care he just went back to playing World of Warcraft. After that I began to resent his daughter(I know that's bad of me.) I told him I didn't want her living with us that he couldn't take care of her and she was better off with her mother and he was a horrible father who didn't care for her since he never went to see her. I've yet to get pregnant after months after that (I don't take birth control due to medical reason and he downright refuses to wear a condom. Sometimes I can get him to pull out but he yells at me afterwards.)I cry a lot thinking about the baby I could have had, and it angers me when I think of him and how uncaring he was. He tried to make up for it making up stupid excuses when I told him months later how bad he hurt me like "who am I to question god's reason for taking the baby" ect. I don't think I can love him the same anymore. But I don't want to leave because I can hardly support myself. I'm very realistic, where I live there are not many jobs and if you don't have a degree fat chance on getting a job that makes more then 200$ every two weeks. Especially if you are a woman.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 December 2012):
 Two things. First, you need to leave this guy. You are with him for ALL of the wrong reasons. You don't love him, you just hope he can get you pregnant. He doesn't love or care about you either, since he refuses to participate in any kind of contraception and also refuses to help with a child in any way.
Second off, you need to stop trying to get pregnant until you are really committed to someone. It cannot possibly end well for you or your child. You are WAY too young for this, AND you have no support system. You yourself admit you have no money to do this.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 December 2012):
 You write: "I don't think I can love him the same anymore."
Note: HE didn't/doesn't love YOU even a LITTLE BIT.... so, swallow hard and chalk it up to "experience" that you found a loser-of-a-guy.... and consider that - perhaps - your miscarrying will prove to be a blessing.... since it allows you to get away from this creep without having to raise a child (his and your child).... a reminder of just what a JERK this guy was....
THEN.... get on with your life and seek to find a REAL MAN.... a GENTLEMAN... for a partner, and - possibly - a FATHER for any subsequent pregnancies and children...
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (28 December 2012):
How about you get married first and show you can commit to each other before you commit to a child? You can then do a "do over" if you find you are not compatible. You cant do a "do over" if you have a child.Also, while your mentioning money, the latest figures show it takes over $250,000 to raise a child from 0-18, and thats not counting college costs after. Ergo, if you cant even support yourself as you claim, how do you think you are going to be able to support a child?
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