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Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!

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Question - (20 December 2012) 13 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2012)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense...

Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She asked what was in the trunk box, it's pretty big. And I said it's a memory box, a few years ago I decided to put things in there that remind me of great times, holidays, dates, events, people just anything that means something to me and has a memory behind it.

She asked why I did that and I said it's because then one day when i'm older i can go through it and it'll be nice to to be reminded of those memories. I didn't expect a reaction, but hers was pretty uncalled for! She said 'that's a stupid idea, why would you want to look back through all those good memories when you're older and realise the good times you had'. And I said because it's just nice to do, but she just continued how it was lame, that it would be depressing and it's a stupid thing to have because nobody does that unless they're really sad...

Maybe i'm being naive, but I thought a memory box would be a nice thing and she's right about one thing. Yeah people don't do it, nobody I know does but I bet they wish they did! So I just want to know, is she right about what she said it being a lame sad thing to do and that it's stupid because it'll be depressing?

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A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (21 December 2012):

Staceily agony auntAgreed with everyone else. She sounds like a jealous person. Only jealous and unhappy people feel the need to say rude things to bring another person down, her actions were uncalled for but she clearly is unhappy with her life so what can you do?

A memory box is not only a good idea but totally normal as you can see from all the aunt's comments. I have a shoebox I keep all sorts of things I want to remember. Movie tickets, old cards from my husband when we were dating, old photos of friends and pets, tickets from vacations, anything I'd want to remember from my past. I'm very nostalgic that way and it sounds like you are too. It isn't sad, they are happy memories.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012):

She's just being sour because she didn't think of making one.

I've been filling my memory box with things for about 7 years now, and it is one of my most treasured items!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, it sounds like she is belittling your memory box because SHE didn't think of that or doesn't have one.

I would just ignore her comment. Personally I don't hold on to a lot of stuff, but I have to say that is it FUN to go through old photo-albums 20+ years later.

Do as YOU see fit. IF he does like it.. tough cookies.

And I can't see what is depressing about having had good times in time and wanting to remember them later :)

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI am 52 and I have tons of stuff. My favorite things are my journals from when I was 12-14.... no wonder i can related to all the kids here...

your friend was rude. and I think she's jealous too.

BTW best advice: you will think you will remember everything. You won't. So you may want to make notes about what each item is and the date it's from and who you were with. I go back and read my journals and even with first names I don't always remember who I'm talking about..

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

Memory boxes are awesome!!! She sounds like a negative-nancy who doesn't understand the beauty and joy happy memories can bring to someone who is reminicing about their past.

One thing that I recommend is that you keep a brief record of when you received each memento, what it is, who you were with, and what you did together. I have a bunch of mementos for memories that my brain seems to have just deleted (i had seizures/neurological problems and whatever went wrong just erased chunks of time). My only regret with my memory box is not writing everything down.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

Abella agony auntyou are completely normal to do this.

Photos are great memories, but so are special items.

I still have a tiny purse my penfriend sent to me when I was 8. The christening gown. I have a special drawer for every hand made greeting card mad for me (i encourage the children to make me cards, not buy ards).

Memories are wonderful to look over and recall good times.

I even think it's a great idea to record the voice of someone you love. A voice is such a unique memory of a loved one.

I even have the 'hair jar' with a lock of hair from each child's first hair cut. Each has the name of the child on a tag on the ribbon tie on each lock of hair.

And a Christmas front door wreath where each year I make adjustments to it so that the base wreath has a different them each year. Last year it had candy canes on it, this year a different them.

Keep up the good work.

There are many of us who know this is how to remind us of many many happy times.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

person12345 agony auntTell her she should delete her facebook pictures after a week because why the heck would she want to ever see them again or remind others of them? She shouldn't take photos of her vacations either or buy souvenirs, she wouldn't want to remember how nice the vacation was later on.

What a rude person. Most people love to be nostalgic. What a sad and pathetic life she has planned out for herself that she wouldn't want to remember how she used to have fun because it's too depressing. I don't plan to stop having fun when I get older!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012):

I'd have to say she doesn't have too many good memories herself so she is actually revealing what she thinks of her life and memories with her statement but trying to put you down for having good, happy memories.

Its kick butt to have a memory box. I have one for all 5 of my children and anyone of them can go back into the box to see early childhood drawings, pictures, crafts; even birthday letters I wrote to them detailing the previous years events and what they learnt, as well as compliment them on their character traits. That's 20 years of good memories and they are grateful I had the wisdom to hold unto such things.

Its such an acheivement that your children and grandchildren will wonder over, as you retell your history and your life. Such things unite families.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

YouWish agony auntWhat?!? That's *extremely* common to have a place for mementos/memories! I have one, though I haven't named it anything. I have stuff from when I was a kid, a middle schooler, stupid notes from high school that were passed to me in class (that's one thing that texting isn't superior to! hah!), prom stuff, achievements, stuff from my college days, marriage, the first receiving blanket my son was wrapped in, his first lost tooth (and a few more of those!), etc.

Your friend was not only mean, she's completely ignorant. Whatever you do, don't give up that box for anything or anyone. Ever! The pyramids. The Taj Mahal. The Dome of the Rock. The Smithsonian Museum. The National Archive. The imdb. All of those are memory boxes. I wish I knew Australian counterparts, but it is the nature of humanity to preserve their past while looking forward to the future and living in the present.

Sorry that happened to you.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (20 December 2012):

Ciar agony auntI do the same thing, though I hadn't thought to call mine a memory box, but that's exactly what it is. And most people do keep things to remind them of people, places and events they've known, visited or experienced. We call them 'photographs' which we collect and preserve in 'photo albums' so in fact you're in the majority.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you're doing.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIt was uncalled for, for her to pass judgement on something that YOU like to do... and which affects no one else.... and makes you feel good!!!

Let it pass... and continue as you have. IF she brings up the subject, some "next time".... and is critical of it (and you!)... then ask her to simply "Forget it" (that she even KNOWS about your memory box) and focus on other things in life...

P.S. I have THREE such "memory boxes".... They are older suitcases!!!! AND, the girls I am dating these days sez that she looks forward to some of the paraphenalia from our goings-on make it in to them so that I'll, clearly, have memories of HER!!!!

Good luck.... and STUDY HARD!!!!

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (20 December 2012):

It doesn't matter what she thinks because it is not her box. Tons of people keep items from great events in their life, they just don't label it like you have but even my ex has her own box filled with precious items from her past. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, infact it shows amazing character and a value in women that seems to be lost nowadays. Kuddos to you and I hope you fill that box so much that you have to get a new one :)

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (20 December 2012):

tennisstar88 agony auntShe probably said it because she's jealous she hadn't come up with the idea. Or maybe she's had a rough life and doesn't want to remember anything from her past. Either way, ignore her rude comments.

Franky, I think it's a good idea for those who don't have time to invest in scrapbooking. I actually have a memory box that I started when me and my husband were dating. It's full of stuff from our dates, trips, and when we got married. So you're not the only that does it.

Go on collecting memos from the good times in your life, maybe one day you can show your children or grandchildren the cool life you led.

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