A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do i get my ex to at least try to be friends with me?? Despite of me dating someone else. He was an important person and in a way still is... i mean i feel like someday we will have another chance. But when we are more mature because we were struggling in the past. Regardless of that we werent "done" shit happened and im dating again although i am i dont think its serious just so i can get to know other guys because im still young and need to mature. But in the mean time i would enjoy talking to him sometimes but i dont know if i should. Or how i should. Im 18 and he will be 17 in januaray...so yea we have long while till we take commitment seriously we were pretty serious 7 months and all that for not a conversation?? I dont i need tips on a good way to be at least a friend.. i know its hard but i need him to be part of my life in a way...Well thanks for reading!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2012): Oddly as it may seem my ex told me what you all badically said about bieng immature. Well i found my ground wrote my ladt letter and burnt it. My symbol of moving on and creating new memories with this guy because today our love was tested and we passed i realize this guy is too good to give up :) thank you all!
A
female
reader, CrystalMaze  +, writes (19 September 2012):
You don't sound mature enough to be dating, honestly. Trying to be friends with him will screw with him. Lads have just as many feelings as us, and frankly I'm sick of girls thinking they have more rights to everything, and things like flirting are acceptable to them but not to guys. You're messing with him. If you're trying to stay friends with him then you are messing with him. You're preventing him from moving on. Keepin him on hold is something you can't do to someone. He has as many feelings as you and me, an you need to sit down and have a serious think about what you're doing. I agree with the other answers. Don't stay friends with your exs. Frankly, if you liked him still you wouldn't have a boyfriend. Either tell him how you feel now so he can make the choice for himself. You're only thinking ab
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 September 2012):
 I don't believe we should be friends with exs.
friendly yes.. say hi when we see them ask how they are then keep going..
calling them NO
texting them NO
emailing them... depends... i just got an email the other day from my first husband we separated in 1989.... we have two children together... we rarely talk now... and he asked a question... that was all... and we were done...
just make sure when you date fellows they know that your not serious so they don't get their hopes up...
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 September 2012):
 You cant date this new guy yet keep your ex in the backgound until you are ready to date him again, that is not fair on either guy.
You are being incredibly immature and must understand that you cant have everything your own way. If you 'need' your ex in your life then stop messing around the poor new guy you are dating, if you have already decided you want your ex back at some point then this guy is wasting his time on you because there is no future with you.
Pick one guy who you want to be with 100% for the foreseeable future, stop messing them both around. If you cant decide on one guy, then stop dating altogether and be single for a while until you are mature enough to understand you cant mess people around like this.
You cant force your ex to be your friend, you are not together anymore and ex's very rarely remain friends. Once you have been in a serious relationship you cant go back to being just friends, there are memories, left over feelings, resentment, anger, hurt etc all left over from that relationship which interfere with being 'just friends'. It is normal to miss your ex and want to talk to them, but part of growing up is learning that if you end a relationship, that's it, over. No more talking to each other, no more being part of each other's lives. You either want to be together 100%, or you are apart and have nothing to do with each other. There is no middle ground.
So choose which guy you have a future with - the new guy or your ex. If it is the new guy, you cant be friends with your ex and you need to forget about him. If it is the ex, then you need to end it with your new guy and start talking to your ex to see if it can be repaired. If you dont want either guy right now, then be single for a while and learn to be alone. Being single is a huge part of growing up and maturing so it might actually be good for you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2012): I think you need to stop 'Dating' full stop until you're more mature and are ready to date someone seriously and not just for the fun of it. You can't just date people and expect other people to wait on the side lines because you think there might be a future chance with them.
Besides, you're an adult, he's only 16, get on with your life and let him grow up.
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