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I feel too skinny - am I over-reacting to not having enough weight?

Tagged as: Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2012)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I know that I should not care about what others think but this is coming from my neighbors, boyfriend, and friends.. I lose and gain weight really quick. I am 120 pounds and im 5'5 and I feel like I am perfectly fine. Everyone thinks I look super skinny now to them and my own boyfriend told me I lost weight and it honestly lowers my self esteem I dont know why :( I dont feel hot or pretty enough or something. Am I supposed to not give a crap? Or what?? .... I have a big problem with trying to gain a lot of weight and I wish I had some more meat on me.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think 120 lbs & 5'5 is too thin. The thing is, it's not what I think that is important, it's what YOU are comfortable with.

You could bulk up a little with weight training (not sailing you need to look like a body builder lol but it's a healthy weight grain).

I would be more concern with being healthy then people calling you skinny.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (18 September 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntI also lose and gain weight quickly and easily. But I have a lung disease that keeps my pancreas from absorbing nutrients so it's quite difficult to put on weight, I have to take pills which are enzymes. Is there a reason for the way you lose weight quickly? Does the doctor say your weight is healthy? For your boyfriend I would explain to him that you lose weight easily and you don't like to hear that you are too skinny. He should stop the comments. There isn't much you can do about neighbors or strangers making insensitive remarks about your weight. Why anyone feels the need to weigh in, no pun intended, on someone's body is beyond me. Would you tell a girl she is looking particularly fat today? No. Just tell them you are a slender girl but eat tons and can't seem to keep the weight on! It's what I say, I always hear "you are so small!" rather than skinny. They then say, "how lucky for you!" After I tell them how much I can eat.

I used to be much smaller when I was in my teens but now have been able to put on some weight. I have a butt now and nice legs whereas when younger I was a stick. I basically ate as much as possible, fattening foods. I don't like sweets, desserts, so that makes it harder. But I can eat a whole bucket of chicken alone lol. If you are wanting to gain weight just eat plenty and also do those ensure shakes. I used those when I was sick in the hospital and lost 10 pounds. My doctor also had me use scandishakes which have a ton of calories. So now I'm 118 and 5'3.

I used to hate that I was thin and small but now I love it and embrace it. I may not have big hips or big boobs but I am thin and can eat whatever I want without getting fat. How many women would love that?? Embrace your body. As long as you are healthy who cares what anyone else says? And if you want to gain weight you can add more calories to your diet. But maybe talk to your doctor to find out the best way for you to go about it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

As the late mother often said, "You can never be too rich or too thin." Coincidentally she was also 5'5" but definitely not 120# and I'm sure she'd give you same advice.

For comparison, just referenced Twiggy, supermodel of 1960's thin-is-in era: 5'6", 110#, now in her 60's she remains a well-known figure in fashion.

"I am perfectly fine. Everyone thinks I look super skinny now to them."

Of course, they're all overweight and they're looking at you while you're looking at them. If anything, you may have some additional unwanted pounds to lose: those boyfriend's hauling around.

"I have a big problem with trying to gain a lot of weight and I wish I had some more meat on me."

Doubt you'll have that complaint twenty years and two or three pregnancies from now. As you age metabolism will change as will your shape. Take advantage of your frame and stage of life, you can wear dresses and outfits that would look ridiculous on someone ten years older. Besides, maintaining steady weight probably better long-term than endless gain-lose cycle.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou are thin but that's not the issue.

has your doctor pronounced you healthy? If so then that's all that matters.

yes men generally prefer curves... but if your body type runs slender... well then so be it.

I liked how I looked in clothes at 135 which was bony skinny for me... now I've gained weight and I'm not happy but everyone including my fiance thinks I'm FINE....

what matters is what you want.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

By no means 120 lb for 5.5 height is skinny.

My daughter in her 20 s like yourself and she is 5.6 with 125 lb, she is pretty slender, but she is far from skinny. She has nice full legs and buttom.

I'm 5.4 and after having kids I went up to 135 lb, and size 6-8. This is what they call curvy. I don't mind loosing 5-7 lb, but not more as being in my 40 s I don't want my face, neck and other parts of my body to start hanging.:) but when I was your age I was 115 lb, and noone called me too thin.

I dont know may be time changed and now people in general are bigger than they used to be when I was young, but 120 lb for your height and age never was considered too thin.

And as one of the posters said, enjoy you worry free years about what and how much you eat. By the way with your bmi of almost 20 you are not borderline with being underweight, as minimum normal is 18, and that's another 10-12 lb. down from your weight:)

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (18 September 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt It's all in your head. You are slender, but your weight is perfectly normal for your height. You have a BMI of 19.9,( not underweight ) and you are within a normal range according to all the " ideal weight " calculations systems I know. If for esthetic reasons, you 'd like to see yourself a bit curvier , you may try to put on , like, 5-7 pounds . But without stressing out that much - in fact, if I were you , I'd rather enjoying my skinny years until they last. It's easier to gain weight, than to lose it,- after 30 your metabolism slows down and you gain pounds anyway unless you watch your weight carefully, and after 50... oh gosh. You gain weight just by looking at food.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2012):

k_c100 agony auntIf we are just talking about health here, then a medical professional would say you probably are borderline underweight, you could probably do with putting on around 7-10lbs to be in a more healthy weight range.

But you are not 'super skinny', you are not drastically underweight as you are not that tall so it is not a huge deal.

What are your eating habits like? Do you eat 3 regular meals per day, and are you getting a balanced diet? What are you exercise habits like? I think if you are eating well and dont exercise obsessively, then you really have nothing to worry about. If you gain a few pounds then great, it will probably make you look a little healthier. But equally, if you dont put on any weight its no big deal either!

If you are happy with your body, and you are not doing anything drastic to keep yourself slim (i.e. not eating, or exercising like mad) then forget what everyone else says, they are probably just jealous of your slim figure. We all want to be slim, and most women struggle to have a slim figure so when they see someone like you who is naturally slim many women can be very jealous and nasty because of that jealousy.

As for your boyfriend - he needs to buck up his ideas, fast! He should be supportive and loving, if you have lost weight recently then he should be making sure you are ok and seeing if there is anything he can do to help, not criticising you! Tell him that you are happy with your weight and it is really hurtful when he tells you that you are too skinny, tell him he should love you just the way you are and if he doesnt find you attractive well he can get lost and you will find someone better than him.

Dont settle for him being nasty like this, tell him that you wont put up with it and if he doesnt change, walk away. Your boyfriend should make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, and if he doesnt he's failing as a boyfriend. There will be plenty of guys out there who will think you are the hottest girl they've ever seen, so dont tolerate a guy who puts you down and makes you feel like crap. You deserve more than this, so dont let him get away with it. Either he changes, or you walk away. Simple as that.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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