A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay my boyfriend and i have been together for about three months and i just want to know if its normal for the woman to pay for almost everything. WAIT...i know what ur gonna say "hes a feeloader" "hes not worth it" But i love him with all of my heart he is one of the best men i know he has a job and everything i just have no idea where his money goes. So most of the time i pay for our dates and drive cuz he doesnt have a car, but he is the sweetest guy i have ever dated he holds the door for me, he kisses me on the forehead. I love him and more than any guy i have ever dated, i dont know what do you guys think
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 No it is not normal for a woman to pay everything on dates. This man is using you and should have the grace to offer to pay on dates, whether you split the bill 50/50 or he pays for everything.
How can you say he is the best boyfriend you ever had? I'm sure your exes didn't expect you to pay for every date.
Drop this freeloader like a hot brick and find a man who does not sponge off you. If you think that you love this man, test his love for you and ask him to put his hand in his pocket to pay for dates and see what he says. I bet you will see him in a different light once he refuses to pay for a date. He is nothing but a TIGHT FISTED OLD MISER. Period!!
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Hi
But the fact you love him, doesn't mean he's NOT a freeloader. I would find it hard pushed to actually fall in love with someone that is quite obviously taking the rise out of me. But its easy for me to say i guess. As the other poster said though, if something isn't a problem for you, its not a problem.
If he has a good job, prehaps he has a lot of debts, too early to be talking finances, but i cant see how you got into paying for everything in the first place. Did he just not offer to buy a drink so you went back up to the bar again? I wouldn't have a second date if something like that happened, or we wouldn't have a second drink, i dont know. It sounds bizarre ive gotta admit.
C xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 July 2008):
Well if you love him and are that desperate to keep him around then you aren't going to listen to this advice anyway but no it's not normal and he's sponging off you.
You can either continue paying him to love you or you can ask him to pick up the cheque once in a while and see if he sticks around.
There are a lot of men out there with jobs hun, most don't act like this.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 He is one of the best men you ever know because he has a job. His finances are a mess, doesn't ave a car and expects the woman to pay for everything.
I suppose it is important to remember that 'best' is relative. Everquest was once the best selling MMORPG and then World of Warcraft came along. A bit unrelated but to explain, EQ and WoW are online games. The first topped at about half a million subscribers and analysts believed this was the max the industry could support.
Then WoW launched and enlarged the entire market by a tenfold. Charts the track total subscribers of these games come in two forms. One that includes WoW and one that doesn't because any chart that tracks WoW has the others all together in a huddle at the bottom.
The same bottom your boyfriend belongs on. Come on, he is a loser. He may well be nice and if you are prepared to be the dominant party in the relationship, the wage earner, the person who takes care of the bills etc then perhaps you two can make it work.
Just find out exactly where the money goes because money tends to become an issue sooner or later.
This advice is really no different then a guy dating a woman who is a money drain and doesn't seem able to get her own finances in order.
Don't worry about what is 'normal', worry about wether you can accept this or not. If you two can make a not 'normal' relationship work then why care if others consider it 'normal'?
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 It's not normal for the woman to pay for almost everything. I can't answer for everyone else, but in my opinion expenses should be shared. Where I live, men used to pay for everything and women used to take for granted that they would never even be asked to share expenses, let alone paying a full tab.
He might be a good guy otherwise, but I think he should be covering his share of expenses.
...............................
|
