A
female
age
41-50,
*oodkarma_1
writes:I am going through an 8yr breakup and its been so hard. Its been 5 months now and the pain doesnt seem to ease. He cheated and perhaps was cheating all along throughout the relationship. He has pleaded for me to come back, but I have stood my ground. Now that he finds that Ive been going out he has completly shut me out and even though I know that going back to him is wrong this still hurts. Im sure he has someone else now and this hurts so bad. How is that he does wrong and I am the one hurting, I dont understand. I jsut want to be happy again, I have gotten used to feeling depressed its kind of scary. I feel like I will never find anyone as I am approaching 29 and that scares me. Any insight or encouragement is much appreciated. Thanks for listening..
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female
reader, goodkarma_1 +, writes (5 August 2008):
goodkarma_1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for taking the time to reply. This time is the hardest I have ever encountered in my life so far and I'm so thankful there are people that have a heart to care.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Its still early days for you. I would visit the doctor if i was you though, you might need a little help for a while thats all. It varies how long it takes people to get over someone. I was lied to by someone, i ended it, knew i had done the right thing, he wanted us to try again, i said no. Yet he moved on a lot quicker than i did. I never let on to him i was hurting, completely put across i was getting on with life, when i saw him. But inside i was horrendous! I can be a very proud person me! Take after my dad lol Love doesn't conquer all, and if the relationships not right, you know you cant be with them, but that doesn't make it easier!
Some people say they are gutted and hate to know you have moved on, my ex wanted to know if i'd met anyone, what i was up to etc etc. All the things a broken heart would appear to do. But he was flat out dating all n sundry. I think a lot of the time people dont actually know what love is. But one day they will. It would be nice to think we are missed by someone, thats human nature, but i guess everyone has to move on at the end of the day.
Go and see the doctor, but like the other poster said, time is the only thing that will help really.
Good luck
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I wish there was a way to magically ease the pain, because I've had my heart broken and I know it really hurts. Unfortunately there isn't, really. Time, obviously, but apart from that just try to take comfort in knowing that you did the right thing to stand your ground. The pain WILL subside... I promise, so tell yourself that. Do things that are good for you, like exercising if you have the energy, spending time with people you love, devoting your time to something else - a new hobby or project, maybe. You don't need a man to define who you are, so try to relax and let life guide you. 29 is still young, there's plenty of time to find someone. Please don't allow yourself to get too entrenched in a depression... it's hard to get out. Grieving healthily is one thing, but if you still don't feel any better in a few months it may be good to talk to a professional. No one should be depressed all the time. I hope you heal soon.
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