Like what
he writes?
... Add *oonridge McPhalify to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *oonridge McPhalify a private message | | *oonridge McPhalify's Ratings | |
| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
|
Can a man have sex and not feel anything for the woman?
Q. Can a man have sex with a woman if he feels nothing for her or will he always have some sort of attraction? When men have affairs they tend to say its "just sex" - but surely it must be "just sex" with some sort of attraction?...
A. 17 March 2009: every individual is different but as a rule sex is more emtional for women than men. the emotions complicate things and men can quite happily have sex and be detatched while women tend to feel close to the person if the sex is all that.
that ... (read in full...)
Can a man have sex and not feel anything for the woman?
Q. Can a man have sex with a woman if he feels nothing for her or will he always have some sort of attraction? When men have affairs they tend to say its "just sex" - but surely it must be "just sex" with some sort of attraction?...
A. 17 March 2009: every individual is different but as a rule sex is more emtional for women than men. the emotions complicate things and men can quite happily have sex and be detatched while women tend to feel close to the person if the sex is all that.
that ... (read in full...)
I can't stand the way we talk to each other!
Q. Hey everyone I'm having a little trouble getting through to my fiance. We've been together for a long time, and i am currently prego with a baby girl due this June. Ok so here's the issue...i cant stand the way we talk to each other!!! It's usual...
A. 14 March 2009: Threaten him with your departure and if it doesnt get better depart. hard as life is on your own constant fighting and bullying that chips at your self esteem will leave you years later a shadow of your former self. abuse is abuse wether physical or ... (read in full...)
Should I start practicing to like girls?
Q. another big problem with me is that almost those that are attracted to me are seems to be straight guys, i like sexy straight guys so much but i don't like female guys and i don't wish to move with them infact i hate their way of behaving as am a ...
A. 13 March 2009: you might not be living in a place where you can freely express yourself. have you ever thought of travelling to other countries?... (read in full...)
What should I do when I first meet him? Hug? Say hey?
Q. im a 18 year old guy and im planning to go on a date with a 23 year old guy, i just dont know how to approach him when i meet him? hug? just a simple hey? what should i do when i first meet him? we have been set on a blind date by our friends... b...
A. 12 March 2009: act how you feel at the time time, being yourself is the best bet and if your a friendly person go with it...... (read in full...)
Fiance will not get a job!
Q. Hi all, I have been with my fiancé for nearly 2 years now. Recently he was made redundant and to make ends meet we are now living with his parents. I am still in work and just got promoted. My problem is this, my fiancé, let’s say his name is...
A. 12 March 2009: he is taking the piss and something will have to give. if your paying for his car finance he is beyond cheeky. its all your choice. you might love him but maybe if this goes on you could end up disliking him a lot...... (read in full...)
Fiance will not get a job!
Q. Hi all, I have been with my fiancé for nearly 2 years now. Recently he was made redundant and to make ends meet we are now living with his parents. I am still in work and just got promoted. My problem is this, my fiancé, let’s say his name is...
A. 8 March 2009: are you paying for everything? cos if so there is no need to be the workhorse. you need to think about wether you want to be in this relationship?... (read in full...)
I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love.
Q. I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love. I've never liked it (who does!) but lately am finding it more and more difficult. It just shatters me and I almost fall to pieces. I feel like I'm no...
A. 7 March 2009: sounds like the two of you have different levels of sex drive and work and life tyres him.
dont take it persobnally or you mioght have to move on if it gets to you. i wouldn't recommend a situation that made you feel bad ever.
good luck... (read in full...)
My fiance won't let my friend come to our wedding because shes a lesbian.
Q. My fiance won't let my friend come to our wedding because shes a lesbian. She says The Dike (that's what she calls her when my friend isn't around) will eye up all the bridesmaids and also she doesn't want her to come because there going to be a lot ...
A. 27 February 2009: how rude and ignorant is this whole situation. and she has a bi/gay man friend. she just doesn't like your friend and if you want to set the tone for the future make YOUR choice wisely. this just sounds like when women dont like each other which is ... (read in full...)
My partner feels nothing when we have sex
Q. I have been with a guy for about 4 months now (my first gay relationship) and we are very much in love. I have a fantastic time with him, except for the fact that he 'feels nothing' when we have sex. He says that he has been like this for around 3...
A. 27 February 2009: is he still on the rebound-maybe needs counselling... (read in full...)
My partner feels nothing when we have sex
Q. I have been with a guy for about 4 months now (my first gay relationship) and we are very much in love. I have a fantastic time with him, except for the fact that he 'feels nothing' when we have sex. He says that he has been like this for around 3...
A. 27 February 2009: just make sure that this relationship doesnt leave you with baggage transfered from his bad experience. if he "loves you" but "doesn't feel anything" in sex then somewhere there is a disparity between words and reality. does he even enjoy sex?... (read in full...)
My husband is "gay for pay"?
Q. Earlier this week I came home from work and found my husband in the living room on the floor writhing with another guy. The windows were blacked out. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he was brazen enough to say he was making guy-on-gu...
A. 27 February 2009: has this not destroyed the trust in this marriage?
i would be more annoyed that he would whore himself out and think that this was fine to do within a marriage.... (read in full...)
Am I protecting myself by not getting too emotional with my ex or is this how it is when two people split and get back together?
Q. My girlfreind split with me last year out of the blue. We were so in love with each other that when she left, both of us were heartbroke. We carried on texting each other for comfort. Then after a few months we started going out at nights just a...
A. 27 February 2009: she has unfortunately damaged you emotionally with respect to her and this particular relationship. is this relationship acctually worth opening up again for? what was her reason for destroying your love the first time around? in order to give ... (read in full...)
Why did this text make me feel angry?
Q. Well a long story short, I feel anxious about something and don't have a clue why? 7/8 months ago a guy stayed at mines, we were drunk, he was given me kissEs, groping me, he didnt care when I says I would help him with down stairs(when he was, lets ...
A. 18 February 2009: you felt pissed off because you were painted in a negative light as a gay slut who jumps on girls boyfriends when in reality this boy was the slut and you were not. now he is openly accepting that he is open for business of any kind when at the time ... (read in full...)
Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
Q. Can you really be in love two people at the same time? I recently made the BIG mistake of sleeping with my now married ex boyfriend. I immediately vowed it would never happen again as I also have a boyfriend and felt terrible for cheating on him. ...
A. 15 February 2009: and yes you can be in love with two people but the depth of feeling will not be equal therefore logic must prevail. use your head... (read in full...)
Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
Q. Can you really be in love two people at the same time? I recently made the BIG mistake of sleeping with my now married ex boyfriend. I immediately vowed it would never happen again as I also have a boyfriend and felt terrible for cheating on him. ...
A. 15 February 2009: sometimes people try to put a spanner in the works when they see their ex with another person, especially if the relationship is going well. quite often once that other person leaves the equation they have no desire for the ex.
when a child se... (read in full...)
I have to stay with my GF because she's pregnant, but I think I may be gay...
Q. help me please! im totally confused about my sexuality. im in a relationship for a year and half with a girl. iv been having sex with her for about 7 months and im 21. around 2 years before i met her i was in a relationship with a girl and lo...
A. 12 February 2009: if it is difficult for you to orgasm with thoughts of women but easy to orgasm with thoughts of men you sound gay. have you ever had sex with a man? that is the true test of the homosexuality within your nature.
you need to know what you are abou... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex has moved in with him, what do you think?
Q. My boyfriends ex girlfiend has moved in to his flat because she got no where else to go.he says everything is fine between us but he seems distant.what should i do?...
A. 12 February 2009: He is clearly cheating, if not yet he's certainly planning on doing it. WARNING this should be setting off alarm bells and in reality do you want a man who keeps his ex closer than you? if yes then why?... (read in full...)
Am I not being flirtatious enough? How can I tell? Should I just have an open talk with him about our relationship?
Q. I am a gay male, and I am really confused about if a guy wants to just remain friends with me or have a romantic relationship. I will call him Jon. We became friends about a year ago. I came on pretty strong when we first met. I was very ...
A. 9 February 2009: just relax in his company and stop "trying" to flirt and just let subtle communication and body language become the flirting. it sounds to me like your approach is a bit too openly obvious and that he doesnt respond because there is no legitimate ... (read in full...)
Sex with her is rather messy..is there a way to approach this with her?
Q. I have recently started seeing this great girl, the relationship is going well and the sex is great. However, there is one thing that I feel a little awkward talking to her about. She is fortunate in that she can orgasm very easily, literall...
A. 5 February 2009: as a gay man i would not see the point of cumming all over the bed every time. avoiding it would be a necessity so preventing it should be a good thing. before anal sex you put a towel down because you dont want any of that shit getting on your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me I love you after 2 weeks of dating. What should I do?
Q. MY boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 weeks now. Everything seems great and we get along so well. But last night he said I love you to me so it freaked me out and I made him leave and go home... He kept justifying hiself saying he was ...
A. 3 February 2009: its a bit too quick to make it real. i would be wary of any proposals that co-occur. still see him but cause some form of space for a while to test the waters... (read in full...)
Why do gay men like to talk about sex in public? Is this in fact true?
Q. Why do gay men make point of talking about sex in public like in a graphic way . I don't know of any of my straight friends that need to fulfill such a urge. Are they just exhibitional, is this part of being gay? I find it kind of degrades them an...
A. 3 February 2009: its just attention seeking behaviour. i find it unattractive, its intended often to shock to make them seem extreme and outrageous. it just detracts form them the ability to be taken seriously. it whoreify's everthing, and can be found in slutty ... (read in full...)
Recently I've been finding it hard to sleep, any ideas?
Q. I am 20 years old and recently ive been finding it hard to "fall asleep" once I am asleep I am fine..I can sleep for 10 to 11 hours if I have to. its just falling asleep thats the problem. i toss and turn and stress out because I have to be up at 7a...
A. 3 February 2009: as for the post below-that makes SO much sense! i never even thought of that... (read in full...)
Recently I've been finding it hard to sleep, any ideas?
Q. I am 20 years old and recently ive been finding it hard to "fall asleep" once I am asleep I am fine..I can sleep for 10 to 11 hours if I have to. its just falling asleep thats the problem. i toss and turn and stress out because I have to be up at 7a...
A. 2 February 2009: to tell you the truth five hours is bad but not terrible, i often go into work on four hours sleep. not out of choice my work starts at a stupidly early time.
try reducing caffeine intake early in the evenings and also eat well to ensure your not... (read in full...)
Should I accept my male friend (I'm bi) or live a lie with my fiancee?
Q. I am a 26 year old bi male, who has been in love with one of my male friends for 5 years. I was going to tell him a few times but I always thought he was straight. He has now told me that he fancies me and wants us to be together. I would have ...
A. 2 February 2009: you need to go for the one you love-its that simple
otherwise it will unravel at some point and be messy... (read in full...)
I don't wanna be seen as coming between best friends.
Q. I am very much in love with my boyfriend however there are a few things which really upset me and I don't know how to approach him on these issues as I don't want to lose him. He would rather go out with a load of people and get drunk on valenti...
A. 27 January 2009: well if he was not gay and was strait and she was another man who was gay this would not be socially acceptable. its not on. if you are in a relationship you DONT kiss someone else wether or not you find them attractive, you just dont do it.
its v... (read in full...)
I'm scared he's going to cheat on me (maybe with a girl?)
Q. I recently foundmy perfect boyfriend, and although it doesn't seem long we are celebrating 3 weeks together tomorrow. However pleased I am (as normally people get sick of me by now) I am sometimes worried as I think he is going to dump me at ...
A. 27 January 2009: if you behave like the relationship is about to end for no reason all the time it might set things up to fall apart. you need to genuinely beieve that this might work out and that he likes you for who you are.
it is very important that you begi... (read in full...)
Disapproves when I don't fit in to his idea of perfect
Q. I'd like to state from the outset that there are good parts, dinners out for which he pays, picnics, a sweet/romantic Christmas gift...but: I feel my partner is always trying to improve me, be it teaching me to cook (for which I am grateful) to ...
A. 25 January 2009: bad communication of emotion is here along with constant petty moaning and wearing critisism on his part.
a good relationship involves enjoying the persons company and treating them as though they have some vaildity as a person. if i was treated ... (read in full...)
I cant make new friends!
Q. Hi. I have been trying to make new friends for about a year. I got out of a long relationship a year and a half ago, graduated from college like 3 yrs. ago and changed churches, got older (LOL), quit a job...etc. A lot of things have changed in my ...
A. 25 January 2009: yes friends can be made through work but ussualy when you work with someone all the time it is difficult to want to spend time with thme outside work.
also a lot of people just want a relationship and little else
i have a job and the exact sa... (read in full...)
Wnats the big deaL?
Q. Me and my girlfriend (of 4 years) went to a bar last week (it was her birthday). Long story short I had a bit to much drink. (this is what she told me b/c I don't really remember the night very well) I started flirting with a random woman in front ...
A. 25 January 2009: yeah your behaviour sounds really attractive- i wanna get me some of that!
if you showed me up like that i would n't be long around. you dont mention any form of appology whatsoever, have you said sorry?
this situation requires diploma... (read in full...)
I'm really confused and unsure If I'm being walked all over.
Q. Hello all ! I'm going through a bit of a confusing time regarding my relationship with my boyfriend. First of all I'm gay, but it shouldn't have any bearing on my dilemma. I know that you guys and girls give good advice cos I've seen it before! ...
A. 24 January 2009: he cheats, doesn't get you a present at christmas and lives very far away.
none of these things point towards a good future. the trust is gone and he doesn't put effort in. that is not a relationship.
you can do better than provide base cam... (read in full...)
Gay sex tips appreciated.
Q. hey there guys.. I've got a problem which is a tad sentitive. Well I'm 17 and I've been straight up until about 18 or so months ago.. where this belgian lad captured my heart. I've fallen deeply in love with him and yes I'm now fully gay in the...
A. 24 January 2009: oral sex is the best bet to begin with as its easy to get it good. anal sex is more difficult to perfect though can be wayyy better but also painfull and pointless(if you are being poked by an inconsiderate sort).
making muscles, that are not mean... (read in full...)
He accused me of chucking a little old lady on to the street...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years we have a 2 year old little boy we both work full time. My problem is when we met I owned my own house with a mortgage he also owns a house jointly with his mum, his mum put half towards the house and ...
A. 22 January 2009: as little and old as she is he is not there to support his parents home or tie his wealth up with them.
it might be a way out guess but has he always lacked commitment and kept things certain ways for an easy escape.
why should you be th... (read in full...)
My online hotty is turning cold...
Q. I have been seeing this guy that I met online about 3 months ago. We have been out 2 times so far and he wants to meet up again this weekend..where he wants me to go over to his place for dinner. He never rings me though.. I'm always the one doing ...
A. 22 January 2009: sounds like he's avoiding your company, the best thing you can do is back off. People you meet over the net are met on the net because they dont have strong social skills or are sometimes lonely. This might be social overload with this man or he is ... (read in full...)
I've got a g/f but can't get this guy out of my head
Q. Hi Im bi sexual well im more into women really. Though i have been chatting to this older guy online. This guy gay and i have seen him on webcam and must say i find him attractive. He wants to meet for a beer and a chat but im not sure i have a gf...
A. 21 January 2009: chat to this guy as a friend and meet him in real life "as a friend". then feel out your feelings but dont cheat, you might just gain a new friend... (read in full...)
Lesbian - with homophobic parents and friends
Q. It has been over the last year or so that I have really began to think about my sexuality, as well as various other thnigs as well (including religion etc.) as I am at the age when that thinking is to be done. A year back from now, I believed I was ...
A. 21 January 2009: wait until you are at uni before you tell your parents but tell your friends soon, if they dont accept you it might be for only a week and not only that it might have more to do with keeping it hidden than what it was. are the "out lesbians" at your ... (read in full...)
Her ex has porno of her/him on the internet!
Q. This one is very complicated I could use some advice on how to proceed. I found pictures on an internet site of my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years having sex with her ex and this has created a tonne of problems. First off we haven't ever really discu...
A. 21 January 2009: dont tell her-leave a note up on the site asking him to take it down. or try to contact him and tell him where your coming from. the fact is that if he has any soul at all he will at least hear you out.
maybe as a participant she has copyrigh... (read in full...)
I want to leave because I can't trust him any more.
Q. hello i have a question to ask should i stay or leave him alone. hi i am 24 yr old male from chicago, illinois i have a boyfriend who i have known for almost for two years and i been through so much with him. he had a stroke in feb 2007 when we ...
A. 16 January 2009: chuck him out, change the locks, inform the police if even the slightest thing happens! he is gonna lead bad people to your door saying you will pay. what is attractive about this man? he's nearly twice your age, disabled, addicted to drugs and uses ... (read in full...)
A year on and he says he's still doesn't know me well???
Q. I have been dating this guy for a year now and every time I ask him what's up with us he tells me he doesn't know, he always tells me that he doesn't know me well and he's still getting to know me. What do you think I should do?....
A. 11 January 2009: there are two ends of the closeness spectrum-those who want to spend all day everyday together forever and tell each other everything and those who like distance and mystery and want to lead a life of their own which a relationship might fit into. ... (read in full...)
I'm gay, he's straight (he says)..I want to make a move
Q. okay, in order for me to avoid sounding like an idiot. i should explain. I'm gay, and I've fallen for a "straight" boy. We'll call him Sea. Sea dated a good friend of mine once, a girl. but he told her he was bisexual. he know kind of denys it...
A. 11 January 2009: wether someone acts in a way that is percieved as gay would not for me be an indictaor to make a move. i would only risk it if you keep getting the feeling that he is attracted to you consistently. good luck.
only you can tell... (read in full...)
They call me fat, will I ever have a boyfriend?
Q. just wana ask if a girl that is fat..., well they call me chubby, flat nose, w/ big legs...can possibly have a chance to have a boyfriend?...
A. 10 January 2009: Who are "they"? you family or friend? or people who dont matter at school or work?
many people have big ego's but low self esteem, that means they thinky they are brilliant but they dont feel brilliant. to feel better about themselves to match th... (read in full...)
Can people like him change? He cheated and put me down in the past.
Q. my boyfriend of almost two years had cheated on me and also persued other women which led nowhere.in the past he put me down with the things he said to me, ( he would say things such as "i dont look as good off camera as i do on it") it ate away at ...
A. 10 January 2009: he chipped away at your self esteem-that is not something you do to someone you love, it is something you do to someone you consider to be lower than yourself(IF YOU ARE AN ARSE). he has cheated on you and has no respect for you in the language he ... (read in full...)
| *oonridge McPhalify's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oonridge McPhalify has
added them and they have added *oonridge McPhalify!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
