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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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Am I a bad friend?
Q. My female friend is pregnant . (We're both 15) she wants me and her boyfriend (he's 16) to help tell her parents. She thinks they'll going kick her out or something if there's no witnesses. I just dont want be get involght cause it's not my ...
A. 4 October 2008: as bad as her situation was how uncaring are her parents to chuck her out at fifteen with a baby. makes you think... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my university life in the first week of freshers or can I recover?
Q. Ok... this isnt really a relationship question I know, but I still need any advice you can give me. I've just started University and I'm far away from home and my friends and everything. And I thought i would be ok, but I've gone a bit off the rail...
A. 27 September 2008: relax you are suffering from alcohol induced paranoia. the lapses in judgement it causes can leave you feeling mortified along with the depletion of neurotransmitters that are needed to make you feel happy. uni is swarmimg with drugs and at fir... (read in full...)
Am I a bad friend?
Q. My female friend is pregnant . (We're both 15) she wants me and her boyfriend (he's 16) to help tell her parents. She thinks they'll going kick her out or something if there's no witnesses. I just dont want be get involght cause it's not my ...
A. 27 September 2008: hello-the reason she wants you there is because she thinks that your presence will make her parents hold back, but this is manipulative and they would really not appreciate you being there. be there for her when she needs help but you are not her ... (read in full...)
Is my wife cheating on me or not? I have to know!
Q. My wife slept with someone behind my back some time ago. I found out about it, and I have forgiven her. Then more recently she saw the guy out in a bar, a chance meeting according to her, and talked with him. Again, I found out, she says, they just ...
A. 26 September 2008: you sound way too nice
wake up
4 I am an idiot and a fool for tolerating all of this and should think about seperating?
i dont think you should separate but why have you let this get so far, you sound so nice and so easy going how could you... (read in full...)
Is my wife cheating on me or not? I have to know!
Q. My wife slept with someone behind my back some time ago. I found out about it, and I have forgiven her. Then more recently she saw the guy out in a bar, a chance meeting according to her, and talked with him. Again, I found out, she says, they just ...
A. 26 September 2008: you sound way too nice
wake up
4 I am an idiot and a fool for tolerating all of this and should think about seperating?
i dont think you should separate but why have you let this get so far, you sound so nice and so easy going how could you... (read in full...)
Is my wife cheating on me or not? I have to know!
Q. My wife slept with someone behind my back some time ago. I found out about it, and I have forgiven her. Then more recently she saw the guy out in a bar, a chance meeting according to her, and talked with him. Again, I found out, she says, they just ...
A. 26 September 2008: you sound way too nice
wake up
4 I am an idiot and a fool for tolerating all of this and should think about seperating?
i dont think you should separate but why have you let this get so far, you sound so nice and so easy going how could you... (read in full...)
My ex returned to his ex, it's getting confusing and I can't understand why suddenly he's insisting on being my friend!
Q. I'm 27 and had been seeing this 19 year old guy for four months. We had quite a pleasant relationship and I grew very fond of him. Then suddenly he wanted to end it because he said that he can't handle the emotions. He comes from a tough past and ...
A. 26 September 2008: some people need drama and attention...... (read in full...)
Should I Marry Someone That I Am Not 100% attracted to and may become fat in the future?
Q. Should I marry a woman that I am not entirely attracted to and might get fat in the future? She is one of my best friends and has everything I want in a woman... but I can tell she does not work-out enough to maintain a healthy body and always finds ...
A. 26 September 2008: do you even fancy her now or are you kidding yourself as you sound like you have to make an effort even now to get turned on........ (read in full...)
Swinger's story: We are two married couples that exchanged partners but we handled it badly; bitterness and fights followed!
Q. We started out as friends. Five years ago, we were a DINK couple who doted their two kids and found the parents to be sincere, loving, simple but honest. Over time we got to know each other even better when we were between houses and moved in with ...
A. 26 September 2008: yeah but the fact that it did end in this manner confirms that this sort of thing has way too much potential to go in any diraction some of them not so good...... (read in full...)
What should I do about my attraction towards a male co-worker? I hear he was into guys before.
Q. Hey everyone who is taking the time to read this. This is my first posting and I kind of really need some advice. I am beggining to have a huge attraction for a co worker of mine. I knew I was into guyz before but I never actually had feelings for ...
A. 26 September 2008: invite him out for a drink as a friend and see where it goes...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months yet he doesn't agree to change his relationship status to committed on his online profiles!
Q. Please tell me if you think I'm being paranoid. My boyfriend snapped at me becuase he said someone changed his profile on some bebo thing to show that he's in a realtionship so when I said does it really matter he said yes it does because someone ...
A. 25 September 2008: this is very strange-does he have another girlfriend on the side and changing this status would cause both of you to find out????... (read in full...)
Is this normal behavour for a straight man in a woman's company?
Q. i was out with my boyfriend last week having a few drinks when a gay man sat down and started chatting to him. he then preceeded to rub his hands over my boyfriends face and through his hair and admired his voice. the gay was asked to stop, but my b...
A. 21 September 2008: i'm gay and this is not on-your boyfriend should know better. if this was a woman it would be unnacceptable so why should this arrogant display be any different. your man want to make you jealous by allowing it to make him seem more desirable (i ... (read in full...)
They all think I am gay! Why they are saying this about me?
Q. I just started hs, and i think theres been a rumor abt me being gay. Well it all started in May when we had a pizza party 2 get 2 know all the freshmons. I met this girl, there and we were just talking and then just randomly her boyfriend comes up ...
A. 21 September 2008: they are bored and want someone to pick on. if people know they can upset you then they will sometimes.
your best bet is to rise above it and ignore it but if the bullying becomes systematic-that is it follows a routine pattern, then tell a teache... (read in full...)
I asked him to be gentle but he focused on himself during sex and wouldn't mind my objections. Should I believe him that it won't happen again?
Q. Hi, So I need some serious advice again. Ive been with my boyfriend a little over 4 months and for our anniversary, i booked a hotel to make our 'first time' special. I had told him I wanted to take it slow with lots of foreplay and candle...
A. 18 September 2008: your mum is correct. he is not in this to be nice to you, just to please himself ... (read in full...)
I went out for a works do and drank too much too fast. I'm lonely and scared of losing my job. How will I explain myself?
Q. i feel sick. i went out for a works do and drank too much too fast. i was a drunken mess and have no memory after a certain point in the night. i had work at 5 in the morning the next day and woke up at ten oclock but could not face going in. i was ...
A. 15 September 2008: oh yeah and my sex drive went through the roof big time...... (read in full...)
I went out for a works do and drank too much too fast. I'm lonely and scared of losing my job. How will I explain myself?
Q. i feel sick. i went out for a works do and drank too much too fast. i was a drunken mess and have no memory after a certain point in the night. i had work at 5 in the morning the next day and woke up at ten oclock but could not face going in. i was ...
A. 15 September 2008: thanks i appreciate that. i know i need to sort something out with it. and i am planning on seeing a medical professional.
what you said is true and although these days i have been okay i have in the last couple of weeks been a bit "too" happy. r... (read in full...)
He posted as a bi curious male, views gay porn, so do you think my ex is gay (he denied this)?
Q. Hi IM 23 and female, my now ex partner is 22 and male, we have been going out now for a year and a half. A couple of weeks ago I found a dating account that my partner had set up when we had been goiong out for approx 5months, on this account he ...
A. 12 September 2008: well what you want is not an answer but an end to your internal conflict- you need to choose your resolution and make it.
either accept him as he is or dont
your life/your choice but if it was not me i wouldn't wait for someone to choose i'd mo... (read in full...)
My best friend knows I love him but I'm confused about his feelings for me!
Q. Well, I've been real confused lately, and i'm not sure what to do. . .usually I'm the one who gives the advice, but right now I'm at a loss. . . First off, I'm bi, I didn't know until just a few years ago, and I've only just recently accepte...
A. 10 September 2008: he's keeping every option open-if he felt real love he would have gone for it but it seems like only his morals are halting his desire to have his cake and eat it...... (read in full...)
He posted as a bi curious male, views gay porn, so do you think my ex is gay (he denied this)?
Q. Hi IM 23 and female, my now ex partner is 22 and male, we have been going out now for a year and a half. A couple of weeks ago I found a dating account that my partner had set up when we had been goiong out for approx 5months, on this account he ...
A. 8 September 2008: this is a total categorisation complication. lets chuck out the boxes and draw a line-does it really matter?... (read in full...)
How can I keep my long distance relationship alive?
Q. I met my boyfriend on holiday and it was amazing. i thought that it would just be a holiday romance but we both wanted it continue afterwards. he lives about 2 hours away. we have been going out for a month now. we really dont get to see eachother ...
A. 8 September 2008: look as good as this is it cannot last if your age is 13 to 15 as two hours away costs money you dont have at this point to meet ends make. of course its amazing it like having a treat once in a while. were you together longer you would have a more ... (read in full...)
How can I avoid them without being offensive?
Q. Hi, My friend has 2 annoying children and a partner who is always out what he can get (freeloader). They always insist on meeting up or coming over to my house which i dread as the children always have tantrums and misbehave. Even when i go over t...
A. 4 September 2008: go to a place that is not either of your houses or be busy with someone else...
or even better get some new friends that then you can be with so that this other friend doesn't feel ignored just put on the backburner-it sounds to me like you're g... (read in full...)
When two guys are having sex, who exactly takes the role of the man?
Q. Picture this, one guy is getting penetrated helplessly and the other is DOING the penetration. Theyre both enjoying it, which guy is more masculine or "manly" and why? Now the guy who is being penetrated cums because he got penetrated for.....
A. 4 September 2008: either- just remeber that you can easily damage the anus and incontinence in your twenties is more than a little embarrassing so take care...... (read in full...)
Research that has shown negative effects of porn-watching? Why aren't we concerned?
Q. why do some people not care about all the research that has shown exposure to porn causes men to find their real life partners less attractive? I personally have experienced this when my husband started to compare me to the women in porn and a cl...
A. 4 September 2008: it is obvious that this effect would occur-it happens to teachers of teenagers aand i work as airport security and see ahuge volume of people everyday some of whom are so attractiove it blows you away. there is one every day nearly. but so what if ... (read in full...)
I want my girlfriend to try something that is not something traditionally included in the avergae sex life. How can I bring it up without her getting scared?
Q. I wont go into detail because the thing i would like is probably frowned upon by most. I really want my girlfriend to try "something" new with me. It's not something traditionally included in the avergae sex life. How can i bring it up/ ask her...
A. 2 September 2008: why wont you tell us-how are we meant to help?!?!?!?
have you even read some of the crazy shit people put on here, this place is a juice carton of gigantic proportions and i want my fill so tell!... (read in full...)
My parents think my boyfriend is with me for my money! Why do parents always think they are right?
Q. Why is it parents always think there right. I have a boyfriend and I love him very much but they seem to think he's on with me for my money. He doesn't earnt the same amount as me and therefore I pay for pretty much everything but he always says ...
A. 2 September 2008: i think that you are being USED although he is not directly trying to do it but he wont be able to not USE your resources for you two to get along, therefore you are being USED
also what is you nosy mum doing looking through your bank statemen... (read in full...)
Does it mean I might be gay because I find this guy fascinating and good looking?
Q. So I'm a teenage boy in high school and I think I'm gay. How can you tell the difference between lust and love? I'm focused on this guy, which is sorta weird, b/c it's not like I'm stalking him or anything, but I just find him fascinating. He's a ...
A. 2 September 2008: sounds like you need friends that you enjoy the company of-i'm gay and i would say you are more friend lonely than anthing else... (read in full...)
I had sex with my wife's sister and now she's driving me crazy! What do I do about such a weird situation?
Q. About 2 years ago I had the best sex ever with my wifes sister. I have always wanted her and in fact, when i met my wife my intention was to hook up with the sister but it didn't happen. Anyway we ended up in bed together just having the best sex ...
A. 2 September 2008: well i for one found that very difficult to make any sense of but if you are miserable and your wife is violent leave and demand custody-to do this you will need to save money so alter any joint banking arrangements so that you can amass the money ... (read in full...)
Did this boyfriend steal my 10yr old daughter's phone?
Q. Met a guy, few weeks later he took me and my kids out for the day in his sisters car (she was away on business) My 10 yr old daughter took her phone, decided before we got there she didn't want to carry it round so i put it in the glove box. Fo...
A. 30 August 2008: he borrows his sisters car as he has no money for his own-makes sense he could take the phone to steal as he sounds trampy and obviously has a penchant for USEING other peoples stuff to meet his needs
cash in hand, unemployed, trampy, itineran... (read in full...)
I don't want someone nasty like her in my life! So, did I do the right thing?
Q. Well, I was friends with this girl called Helen. But when we fell out, she would really say some nasty things and really mess with your head so you always felt that you were in the wrong. You never really knew when she would blow up and get majorly ...
A. 29 August 2008: megabitch deleted-Bravo!... (read in full...)
I had sex with my wife's sister and now she's driving me crazy! What do I do about such a weird situation?
Q. About 2 years ago I had the best sex ever with my wifes sister. I have always wanted her and in fact, when i met my wife my intention was to hook up with the sister but it didn't happen. Anyway we ended up in bed together just having the best sex ...
A. 29 August 2008: i dont think you are sick its just that you are weak willed, make bad decisions, and lack morals.
what will happen if you leave your wife for her sister that you will put a big fat horrid wedge through their family, you WILL be vilified and cust... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's been nasty and treating me like dirt lately!
Q. me and my boyfreind have been together 2 years in october but lately hes been nasty and treatin me like dirt he thinks he can walk all over me i thought it was just in my head and shurgged it off but my friend say i dont know why i put up with it he ...
A. 28 August 2008: all i can say is that if he swears at your parents then this is bad to the point of dont bother knowing him anymore.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's been nasty and treating me like dirt lately!
Q. me and my boyfreind have been together 2 years in october but lately hes been nasty and treatin me like dirt he thinks he can walk all over me i thought it was just in my head and shurgged it off but my friend say i dont know why i put up with it he ...
A. 28 August 2008: all i can say is that if he swears at your parents then this is bad to the point of dont bother knowing him anymore.... (read in full...)
My GF hits me constantly, she told me I'm the only one that makes her mad and her ex's were better!...
Q. Ok.. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 3 months,i love her to death she knows it,BUT She thinks all i want is sex and she tells all her friends... she always hits me approximately she has hit me 7-9 times in the face (closed fist) a...
A. 16 August 2008: dump this mega bitch! you are whipped by her (that is in the face with her knuckles every time she has a tantrum).
leave leave leave now!... (read in full...)
Talk is going round school about me having sex with my friend-what do I do?
Q. Im 13 and i have already had gay sex 9 times. i was making out with my boyfriend at his house and one of my classmates saw us through the window and is spreading it around. what do i do?...
A. 13 August 2008: am i right in thinkling that at your age in america gay sex will result in some sort of reprimand from the authorities?
if so deny it but act as though you dont care and be above it and it will become boring for other people at the lack of satis... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is in rahab, but I want to see her - would it be ok?
Q. I have a question concerning my current Girlfriend. She got caught smoking a reafer on Thursday or Friday. I was extremely disappointed in her cause she was off drugs for over a year now. And I'm totally peeved at her older brother cause he ...
A. 11 August 2008: why has she been sent to rehab for smoking weed-america need i say more???
no if they think that her "drug addiction" medical help will be damaged by the presence of another addiction possibilty (sex) then they will say no. say that you want to ... (read in full...)
He is determined to move back to his parents with me now we have money problems. I don't want to, but I don't want to upset him.
Q. Hi I'm an 18 year old girl and I've been seeing my boyfriend for over 2 years. I love him very much and last year we decided to move in together. To pay the rent I had to quit college and go working and since I lost my job a few months ago we are s...
A. 28 July 2008: he wants an easy life with mum and dad being young like he is, while you want independence and a commited relationship.
you have sacrificed your own goals in education to succeed at your relationship goals. if your relationship goals fall apart ma... (read in full...)
Living with my boyfriend but messing around with his friend!
Q. Hi I'm a 22 year old male whos been with my boyfriend now for close on two years. I moved in with him last October and everythings been fine...until now. Last weekend I kissed one of his best friends and don't know what to do. I first met his ...
A. 18 July 2008: you dont mention much about your boyfriend other than that you live with him. is this his sole purpose-as a flatmate, or do you like him? do you love him? its important to know to offer you advice.
it sounds to me that your boyfriend is just a p... (read in full...)
When we hold hands, our hands get sweaty, any way to stop it?
Q. Hi everyone. Now this might seem like an odd question, but id be grateful for any replies. When me and my gf hold hands,it gets sweaty real quick.Is this normal? and is there anyway to stop it? Thanks...
A. 14 July 2008: maybe dont hold hands for such a long time? or you could try talcum powder or gloves so the sweat doen't mix. i wouldn't worry about it though.
this is probably because you react alot physically to each other in excitement...... (read in full...)
He didn't want me to look through his phone, which makes me paranoid... what do you think?
Q. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 month. He told me that trust was most important to him, because he told me his fiancee before had cheated on him on the day before they wanted to get back together after a big fight. I like him very ...
A. 13 July 2008: or you are being invasive of his personal space-sorry but three months is not a long time and to be fair why should you look through his private discussions when as you say yourself he pays more regard to you than his mates when you're all together. ... (read in full...)
I'll do anything to get this guy to commit to me! Do you think I should play hard to get?
Q. so this guy who i really like says he has feelings for me. i know he does because he shows how much he cares for me. well he said he isnt sure if he can give me what i deserve, which is committment. well we took one week away from each other. he ...
A. 8 July 2008: i dont think that there is anyway that he wont make a decision that suits him-its what we all do. whatever motivates him wont change and if he doesn't want a relationship for a given reason then that will hold weight.
but maybe you seem clingy, ... (read in full...)
He says he messed his life up and now just wants to have fun. Am I being used?
Q. My partner and i had a happy relationship until recently. i always knew he had a child from when he was 15 and had debts as a result. i accepted that with no problem after all we all have a history. i also knew he hated his job and wanted to leave ...
A. 4 July 2008: you are being taken for a tour de france my friend. he is mooching of your parents indirectly through you and has no motivation to change when you support his laziness. i'm imagining that your parents are charging you afordable rent which is why you ... (read in full...)
I heard him saying he was annoyed because I hadn't gone to bed with him. I told him I was angry. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. Having met a man on a recent holiday we became quite good friends but nothing sexual although he wanted to. The reason I didnt respond was becasue I heard him telling another couple in a loud voice in front of about 8 of us that he was anbnoyed...
A. 4 July 2008: it seems like this friendship was only platonic on your side and he has percieved this telling off as the brush off and moved on
or maybe not ... (read in full...)
I heard him saying he was annoyed because I hadn't gone to bed with him. I told him I was angry. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. Having met a man on a recent holiday we became quite good friends but nothing sexual although he wanted to. The reason I didnt respond was becasue I heard him telling another couple in a loud voice in front of about 8 of us that he was anbnoyed...
A. 4 July 2008: it seems like this friendship was only platonic on your side and he has percieved this telling off as the brush off and moved on
or maybe not ... (read in full...)
I heard him saying he was annoyed because I hadn't gone to bed with him. I told him I was angry. How can I say I'm sorry?
Q. Having met a man on a recent holiday we became quite good friends but nothing sexual although he wanted to. The reason I didnt respond was becasue I heard him telling another couple in a loud voice in front of about 8 of us that he was anbnoyed...
A. 4 July 2008: it seems like this friendship was only platonic on your side and he has percieved this telling off as the brush off and moved on
or maybe not ... (read in full...)
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