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Can you be in love with two people at the same time?

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2009)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Can you really be in love two people at the same time?

I recently made the BIG mistake of sleeping with my now married ex boyfriend. I immediately vowed it would never happen again as I also have a boyfriend and felt terrible for cheating on him.

I stopped all contact with my ex and tried to forget about him and what we did which was kinda working until last night - about 10pm my ex starts ringing my mobile which I ignored then I hear a car beeping outside my house, I looked out the window and see that it was him, again I ignore.

Around 10:30pm he started pressing my buzzer shouting my name out, I panic and opened the door to stop him ( mistake number 2). He starts asking me all these questions about my boyfriend trying to find out where he is and if I love him. I refused to answer his questions but at one point I completly lost my temper and started screaming at him to get out of my life and he would never be the man my boyfriend is. At this point he grabs me by the neck and pushes me hard against the wall saying that we was meant to be together no matter what. When I asked about his wife, he said that he doesnt love her like he loves me and I will always come 1st. He also said that if I truely wanted to give us another go, he would leave his wife for me.

Now I'm confused, do I really love my boyfriend ( I think I do) or am I still in love with my ex after all these years ( I think I am also) and what about him, why does he want to ruin my relationship?

View related questions: love two, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Yes you can be in love with two people at the same time. But it doesn't mean that you should get in a relationship with both of them at the same time (unless you're in an open relationship & everyone involved understands what is going on). Cheating is reckless & selfish IMO, it just overcomplicates the situation even further. Haven't you considered that your ex went nuts because you were leading him on by sleeping with him? Even if you love your ex I don't think you should get into a relationship with him, because he sounds abusive.

IMO I think you should tell your boyfriend that you cheated on him & see if you can still keep that relationship. If you are happy with your bf there may not be any good reason for you to leave him for someone else, especially someone who is restraining order material.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

People like to say it may be possible you love 2 people at the same time, but as others say you cannot love 2 people equally, so someone loses out. Grown up love is different from loving your children, parents, friends etc. To trully be in love is to want to be with one special person in life, have trust and be trusted and to share intimate times with, to give and be given too.To be there when they need you and if you need them. what happens if your in love with 2 people and one takes ill or needs to do something important with you who do you let down in times of need, who do you choose to spend X/Mas, Valentines with, just wouldn't work somewhere along the line.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

What's love good for?

Serial killers usually have families that love them too.

You've just cheated on one guy with another guy whom you've already decided is not relationship material. The smart and dumb moves should be evident here.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntand yes you can be in love with two people but the depth of feeling will not be equal therefore logic must prevail. use your head

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntsometimes people try to put a spanner in the works when they see their ex with another person, especially if the relationship is going well. quite often once that other person leaves the equation they have no desire for the ex.

when a child sees a toy it may be uninterested but if another child picked it up and acted like the toy was even mildly ok then all the children want it-because someone else has it.

simple

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