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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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I feel like he's become distant since I told him how I felt about him
Q. Hi, I am a 17-year old (just today, actually) that is quite confused right now. I've been in love with a guy (straight) for 4 years now, and I'm not quite sure how to get over him, as I really want to. We'll both be graduating from high school soon, ...
A. 16 September 2010: to get over someone you have to NOT spend any time with them and then it will fade. thats my experience if you really love someone...... (read in full...)
Is there any chance of salvaging this relationship?
Q. In May 2004 my partner of 8 years passed away from brain tumours. After a few months I met a woman who has since become my wife. I met her way too early and she was initially patient and then pushy for me to move on, and over time this bred...
A. 15 September 2010: this was never a functional relationship- you were on the rebound BUT you have a child and need to remain civil to ensure things are not affecting them. from what you describe this relationship is dead in the water...... (read in full...)
Is it possible to combine being gay with being a catholic?
Q. I've been raised in a catholic family and have always believed in god, but lately I have become more agnostic. I'm gay and feel like a bit of an outcast in the church. I'm not out, and don't think my family will accept it. As far I know, bein...
A. 15 September 2010: at the end of the day i would think the most important thing is how close are you to your family and how flexible are their beliefs. some people are very rigid and some people are flexible. religeous or not this will be the determining factor in ... (read in full...)
Could he be the one cheating and trying to blame shift?
Q. Hi I've been with my bf over 18 months. Its been turbulent. His highs and lows have taken a toll on me. He constantly accuses me of cheating (I never have) thinks I talk to men online (never have) calls me sneaky all the time. Looks at my cell. Qu...
A. 15 September 2010: he is cheating on you (very likely), he doesn't trust you and treats you with a lack of respect. why are you still with him? if someone was that intrustive and controlling i would leave them wether they were cheating on me or not. he sounds like a ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's become distant since I told him how I felt about him
Q. Hi, I am a 17-year old (just today, actually) that is quite confused right now. I've been in love with a guy (straight) for 4 years now, and I'm not quite sure how to get over him, as I really want to. We'll both be graduating from high school soon, ...
A. 14 September 2010: you need to stop being around him if you cannot stop coming on to him. its clearly annoying him and if he was interested you would be getting a positive response which you are not.
just because he isn't homophobic doesn't mean he wants to have sex... (read in full...)
I don't think I can offer him much I'm very new to love
Q. Hi there Aunties/Uncles! So I am a Gay 20 year old male. And well I have never been in a relationship, better yet like the movie aptly titled---I have never been kissed. The people I tend to fall for, just never work out. So a while back I tried a ...
A. 14 September 2010: go for the kill! ask him out, its your choice...... (read in full...)
The sex is great but that's not all I want
Q. hi again i have a question about bondage sex the thing is my boyfriend loves to tie me up and stuff and i love it as well but sometimes i am scared that this is what he wants from me and nothing else hes loveing kind and since moveing out here as ...
A. 12 September 2010: he doesn't respect you- he wants to dominate and control you (in public all the time is the telling sign as its not just occasional role play) and you can tell this and its making you uncomfortable. the whole point of bondage is its about trust and ... (read in full...)
Whilst I was on holiday a random boy tried to split me and my boyfriend up. I'm so angry.
Q. Hey everyone some adivce would be greatly appreciated. Im 18 and my boyfriends 19, ive been with him for a year and a half, im going to say i would like to think where the perfect match and that we will be together for a very long time, but these ...
A. 11 September 2010: move on from this- it didn't work and by letting it upset you he is having his desired effect.
this boy is a grade A twat, and getting him back will likely only add fuel to some imaginary fire in his warped head. the best thing to do with nutcases... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is thinking of leaving me
Q. my girlfriend has told me tonight that she has been thinking about our relationship the past few days. she is thinking about leaving me. we got drunk tonight and i accidentally slipped my ex's name when i was getting frustrated with her. maybe ...
A. 11 September 2010: habitual liars often dont change. i had a friend who's boyfriend used to lie about things that didn't even matter and he ended up cheating on her (twice). unecessary lieing is a big warning sign to me- it shows that being honest isn't important to ... (read in full...)
I told a guy I'm interested in that I like him, but he never responded! What do I do?
Q. Im a sophmore in high school. Alright, I'll just get to the point. I Like this boy very very very very much. He definetely is attracted to me because of the way he acts around me. i sent him a message (like a retard) telling him i liked him. he ...
A. 10 September 2010: a message in text form is never the same as a real invite where you ask in person. be open ended and ask him if he wants to do something- leave it vague and when he asks you what you two should do ask HIM what he wants to do. this works because on ... (read in full...)
We hung out but think he got freaked out when he found out I was gay, now he has a girlfriend?
Q. i'm gay. i'm in uni first yr. i have very few friends. but then i met this guy who was a really gud friend. and i had a crush on him. we hanged out a couple of time. but i think i ruined everything now. i didnt tell him i was gay before but since he ...
A. 10 September 2010: you need something to distract you from this nonsense. there might be something there but while your waiting for HIM to figure this out you will feel crap more than you need to.
just find a hobby and dont give him too much thought. all this "oo... (read in full...)
I feel I have to change myself to look like these pornstars he looks at daily......
Q. hi im 25 and live with my partner of 6years,we have two children,together..we have a great sex life,we watch porn together sometimes and i know he also watches it a lot online by checking history. I dont mind him watching as I know all men do its n...
A. 10 September 2010: paying for porn is stupid, there is more than enough good free porn unless he is looking for something that is overly specific...... (read in full...)
I need to always have attention from men
Q. I have a need to always have attention from men. No matter what I am doing, or who I am with I feel like I must be the center of every man's attention in the room. It could be guys I know or complete strangers. I don't even care what they look ...
A. 6 September 2010: while therapy would be good your insightfull understanding of your problems suggests you're closer to solving them than you think. your ex is probably a major problem as he knocked your trust in men. you need to overcome how he made you feel with ... (read in full...)
Experimenting, how many guys have done it?
Q. Hey I have a question, I have the opportunity to sexually experiment with a friend of mine. We are both males, and in the 9th grade. I basically have already made my choice, I think I'm going to do it. But I want some input from you guys. How many ...
A. 6 September 2010: if you like it and he doesn't you may feel used and rejected. this is the main problem for this kind of situation. its your choice but keep your eye's open and dont expect too much.
i didn't feel guilty, but i felt negative afterwards in a used s... (read in full...)
Now I find out he's straight?
Q. ive been dating this young guy for overa year and yesterday i found out from his own mouth that he wasn't gay but straight. How do i make love to him now that he claims he is straight?...
A. 6 September 2010: the answer is: you dont
how young is he and how old are you? has he been taking your money and leading you on?... (read in full...)
I need to always have attention from men
Q. I have a need to always have attention from men. No matter what I am doing, or who I am with I feel like I must be the center of every man's attention in the room. It could be guys I know or complete strangers. I don't even care what they look ...
A. 6 September 2010: you have extremely low self esteem and as a result you try to build yourself up by valuing yourself in terms of the sexual desire of men. this is bad for you. when you only see yourself as a sex object you wont be able to accept real love from any ... (read in full...)
This all just seems too good to be true!
Q. Hey, My question might not be too clear because, truly, i'm really worried and I just want advice on what to do next. So, I'm a guy, i'm fourteen and I just started year 10 today. For a few years now I have known that i'm gay but I am still in the c...
A. 4 September 2010: he is so gay- go for it!... (read in full...)
This is just a complicated mess!
Q. Hello, I am a 24 year old male and my boyfriend (25) broke up with my for another guy (28) about 3 weeks ago. We are all bisexual. His new guy is in an "open" relationship with his girlfriend of 6 years and they also have a 3 year old baby tog...
A. 4 September 2010: He "said" we might can get back together in the future if things don't work out with the new guy. shocking! he's being all friendly with you as a back up. i would avoid seeing him as he seems to have a vested interest in preventing you f... (read in full...)
This is just a complicated mess!
Q. Hello, I am a 24 year old male and my boyfriend (25) broke up with my for another guy (28) about 3 weeks ago. We are all bisexual. His new guy is in an "open" relationship with his girlfriend of 6 years and they also have a 3 year old baby tog...
A. 30 August 2010: i think your ex is a fool, but why do you care so much? your ex left you to be a side order for a married man. you need to move on because if someone thinks being a bit on the side with a new man is better than having a faithful relationship with ... (read in full...)
Should I help pay for my new stepdaughter's college?
Q. I am a male in the USA in my 40's. I plan on getting married again in a few months. I have 2 young sons age 9 and 6. I pay support for them and see them 3 times a week. One child likes my GF the other one does not. She also does not get along with ...
A. 24 August 2010: watch out- you could be walking into a finacial hole... (read in full...)
I don't feel anything for the man I used to love.
Q. Hey there, I've been dating a guy for about two years now, and we've been engaged for one year and a few months. We were very happy when we first met each other and continued to be happy for the first year; however, now that I'm in college for m...
A. 24 August 2010: your very young and at this stage breakups are inevitable. if you want to leave explain to him that you want to leave but that you will stay friends but you need time for things to settle down. if you dont have any attraction for him after two years ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's family wont accept me because they cannot accept their son is gay, should I leave him alone even though we want to be together?
Q. my boyfriend is having trouble with his parents accpeting the fact that he likes guys.... i know that they dont like me for that reason and might attempt to get me into trouble about this should i leave him alone even thought we really want to be ...
A. 24 August 2010: how old is he? why cant you two move in together? if you cant maybe you will have to give in to the situation and just move on...
sorry but if you dont own where you live a relationship will be marred by the people that do own the living space... (read in full...)
Is my penis size good?
Q. hi, i am 15 and have a 6 inch penis with a 5 inch girth, is this good?...
A. 24 August 2010: that is good, yes... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went back to his ex while I was pregnant, but now he wants to come back to me! Should I give him another chance?
Q. I'm 3 months pregnant with my boyfriend who i've not been with for long. I became in love with him very quick and even though my family was shocked at me being pregnant at 18 they became happy and excited. Just last week i found out he was meeting ...
A. 23 August 2010: he isn't trustworthy and doesn't respect you- he takes the piss big time and your family hate him because of how he treats you which is very badly indeed.
he will probably just go the next time he gets female interest, people tend to behave i... (read in full...)
Does it sound like this married man wants to be with me, despite all the upset that has gone on?
Q. I've been involved with a married man for over 2 years, he calls and txts me 3-4 times every day. I'm seperated from my husband due to abusive relationship. My estranged husband has confronted this married man multiple times and has also informed ...
A. 23 August 2010: it sounds like he keeps telling you what you want to hear, maybe things will work out but is he even getting a divorce. the fact she doesn't "know" or is ignoring the signs of your affair points to them staying together and him having you on the ... (read in full...)
What to do...the ones that like me I don't like that way, and the ones I like, don't like me...
Q. Hi there, I'm going through a bit of a problem and was hoping for some advice. I am gay and I love going out into the gay scene but where I stay theres only 1 bar/club in the city so everybody goes there. I never had any gay friends or any...
A. 23 August 2010: dont go for just anyone if you cannot get what you want- i bet the people coming onto you are not as attractive as the ones that you fancy at the bar. gay men are often very direct and dont take no for an answer.
when you chat to the ones you fanc... (read in full...)
Its killing me not to be able to tell him how I feel
Q. I know you probably get a lot of questions like this on here, so I regret to tell you that this is another one of them. I apologize if this seems a little long winded, but I need to get this all off my chest and I've always thought that it's ...
A. 23 August 2010: clearly he likes you- go for it, you have nothing to lose!... (read in full...)
Desperate to get him back
Q. Many of my friends and family has told me to try and look at my breakup as a death. Which helped for a while. I am plagued by a lot of guilt and shame. My partner/boyfriend (we are at the beginning stage of our relationship and had asked him to ...
A. 16 August 2010: first he came to live with you, then he was chatting up other men. at this point you both decide to move in together in a new place (i am assuming when you say he "signed the lease" he paid towards the new apartment) and you give him money for a ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want to be on good terms, with an ex who I work with?
Q. It’s been four years since my I broke up with this one guy. It was not amicable at all. At that time, he was still in love but for reasons to detailed to list, the relationship was over for me. We work at the same place and do not speak to one ...
A. 14 August 2010: yes its presumtuous but you friend has a point, he may not have moved on especially if you were out of his league in the first place. if being friends doesn't come naturally for you two then dont try to force it, as you might end up with him being ... (read in full...)
Seeing a younger man but worried by the age difference
Q. Hi all, I’m hoping for some sensible insight on this situation. I’m a 33 year old gay man, very quiet and academic most of the time, though I do sometimes enjoy the odd party. It was at a social get-together that I met another man, and we b...
A. 14 August 2010: sounds like you have found something of high quality and you are trying to pick holes in it as some sort of insecure self sabotage. i would stop trying to crap all over your good luck- something good has worked out for you, enjoy it cos you deserve ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to find your husband looking at other naked men?
Q. Is it normal to find your husband looking at other naked men, in provocative way on internet, and find myself am I married to a closet case? Sex is good, when I initiate, due to medications he is at times unable to finish performance...
A. 30 July 2010: its a bit weird but could be not that bad apart from the fact he cant cum, which put together screams gay.
i can get hard if someone touches me the right way but to cum it takes a man's touch.
plus i had a straight friend that i would end up h... (read in full...)
He's married, but I love him! How can I handle this unrequited love?
Q. Dear Agony Aunt I'm a single 24 year old living in the UK. My problem is that I think I'm in love with someone who is married and can never love me back. He is 29 and married with a kid. We used to work together and we got on brilliantly,...
A. 29 July 2010: if you were able to have a relationship openly then you would probably go after gay men and not end up loving things you cannot have.
you need to make your life so that you can be open about your sexuality and you need to persue gay men unless y... (read in full...)
Wife's weight is becoming an issue...
Q. I'm having a hard time figuring out what, if anything, to do or say about the situation with my wife and her weight. We're in our mid to late 30s. When we met about 5 years ago, we were well-matched. Both around the same height (I'm 5'9", she's...
A. 26 July 2010: tell her that you find her being fat puts you off sex- she is being demanding, with the attitude that you have to give her sex or she will leave. this allows you to say that you wont have sex with her unless she loses weight.
to be fair i dotn thi... (read in full...)
Do I get to know him better or just think of what could have been?
Q. Hey everyone i'm in a bit of a problem and need help so all answers are appreciated I'm 18 and I've never had a boyfriend in my life and I always feel lonely. My mum keeps saying to me i'll find someone but I never do. about 3 weeks ago i met ...
A. 25 July 2010: meet up with him somewhere public so you can be safe. i doubt you can tell with any accuracy what a person is like from looking at their photo's i.e. its impossible to know if someone is a thief off their facebook profile.
go for it- but be safe ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents that I'm having sex?
Q. Is it really that "bad" not telling my parents I am having sex. I am 16 years old grade 11 in september. It was the first time a few weeks ago. I just don't find any reason to tell my mom. Also my mom drives school bus and after school for 5 mins ...
A. 25 July 2010: i dont know why anyone would say to tell your parents- sex is a private thing and parents can be invasive. to be honest i have never told my mum directly about anyone i was having sex with and that seems to be the case for a lot of people i know. it ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for me to do these extra curricular activities?
Q. Is it too late for me or will I have chances after uni at getting involved in other activities. I'm worried that I won't be able to do things I did at university once I have graduated and start working. I'm 22 and going into my final year at uni. ...
A. 24 July 2010: there is less free time in the real world and therefore less clubs/activity groups
but they do exist so make an effort to find them (unlike uni where they are thrust in your face)
it's up to you though- it will require more time and effort ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I just can't get him out of my head... I want him back!!!
Q. I've had a relationship with this guy since I was 15. The relation lasted for 8 years...1998-2006. Since, he was too dominating on me and I wanted to make myself I moved out of the relationship in 2006. I tried dating other people in 2006-200...
A. 24 July 2010: he was not what you needed, but you still love him. i am sure that dumping him was painfull for him and now he is blocking all contact which is the logical thing to do to get over someone. clearly you are finding it hard to move on but try to look ... (read in full...)
Do I have jealousy issues?
Q. Do I have jealousy issues? So I'm a guy and I'm going out with S, my boyfriend, for a month now. S is bisexual and you couldn't even tell that he's into guys. In fact, he makes fun of gay people. But anyways, he's really nice and all that. When w...
A. 20 July 2010: i have had a "relationship" myself that was like this (amazing sex but we could never go out places together and behave like we were "together") and it didn't go anywhere good, because it couldn't.
until you are more honest in your life with fri... (read in full...)
Do I have jealousy issues?
Q. Do I have jealousy issues? So I'm a guy and I'm going out with S, my boyfriend, for a month now. S is bisexual and you couldn't even tell that he's into guys. In fact, he makes fun of gay people. But anyways, he's really nice and all that. When w...
A. 19 July 2010: yes but socialising is not the issue- get him to be open about your relationship with other people or in reality you dont have one. its the same as going out with a married man where you have to keep it hush hush but in this case there is no other ... (read in full...)
We're a great team, but also drive each other crazy!
Q. My partner and I have been together for almost 40 years. We are two men who share almost everything: a very successful but complex and timeconsuming business, all our property, our bank accounts, our holidays, plus we spend weekends amd free time ...
A. 19 July 2010: spend less time together- you need to get more friends and a wider social life. this strange arrangement has made up for the lack of family contact you both suffer from and eventually you WILL have enough of one person. if you work well together as ... (read in full...)
Do I have jealousy issues?
Q. Do I have jealousy issues? So I'm a guy and I'm going out with S, my boyfriend, for a month now. S is bisexual and you couldn't even tell that he's into guys. In fact, he makes fun of gay people. But anyways, he's really nice and all that. When w...
A. 19 July 2010: it doesn't matter that they went off without you to buy stuff, the problem is he isn't open about his relationship with you to anyone but you and this means that to others it isn't even socially there. which means that if he did come on to her he ... (read in full...)
Since my boyfriend's family know of my genital herpes, I'm not allowed at their house, what can I do?
Q. So, I'm pretty sure I have genital herpes. I told my boyfriend this when we first started dating (5 mo. ago) and that I don't get breakouts often (2x in 6 years). He was okay with it, but told his brother (without me knowing) because I guess he ...
A. 17 July 2010: what a pathetic behaviour on the part of your boyfriends family, they seem to not understand this situation properly. for one herpes is very similar to cold sores, also to shun you because they might cathc a disease off you- would they do this to ... (read in full...)
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