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I want to leave because I can't trust him any more.

Tagged as: Faded love, Gay relationships, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, *tephen55 writes:

hello i have a question to ask should i stay or leave him alone. hi i am 24 yr old male from chicago, illinois i have a boyfriend who i have known for almost for two years and i been through so much with him. he had a stroke in feb 2007 when we first met the first two weeks. after the recovery i gave him all of 2008 and now its 2009 and i want to leave .the reason i want to leave because i feel i can't trust him anymore, perhaps i 've been feelin this way quite some time. well since we been together he has used drugs at least three or four times that i know of he even admit it to me i gave him chance after chance to get better and recently in december of 2008 he gets a disability check and with his disability check he told me he was goin to get my christmas present and he never return until the next day. prior to that he would disappear quite often when i worked at my old job he would always come late to get me and 5 to 6 times i had to end up walkin home from work or catching the bus from work. when he disappears he spends his whole check and never have any thing left.recently like last week a drugged out guy came to my building address demanding that my boyfriend owed him money for something he borrowed from him in which my boyfriend told him that i was to supose to cover the bill and it made me feel really bad and sad,cause reality hit me sayin that he"s an addict, but he wont admit to it.dear cupid i wont out but everytime i want to leave he begs and pleds for me to stay and that everything in the apartment is mine and i dont want him to destroy alot of my things that i work hard for it for him out of rage of me leaving. also this man is 37 years old and i catch him in so many lies if iwas to say everything i would take forever but just the little i enclosed what should i do ......

View related questions: christmas, drugs, money

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntchuck him out, change the locks, inform the police if even the slightest thing happens! he is gonna lead bad people to your door saying you will pay. what is attractive about this man? he's nearly twice your age, disabled, addicted to drugs and uses you all the time.

unless you enjoy being treated badly i suggest you do the best thing for yourself and get rid of this selfish parasite.

there is no trust with him the only thing you can truat is he will treat you badly and it will get worse. imagine a dealer coming round to your house to kick the shit out of you on this mans behalf...

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A male reader, Sisyphus Australia +, writes (15 January 2009):

Sisyphus agony auntHi Stephen

I don't know what the laws are in the US, but you need to have this guy kicked out with no prior notice in such a way that he has no claim over your belongings. If he trashes your stuff (or more likely sells it) it's highly unlikely that he's going to pay to replace it on his disability pension.

You need professional help, and there are some resources out there in most cities. I live in Australia so I have no idea about your local area, but here are some things that I've found that may be able to offer you some better advice.

Lesbian & Gay Helpline

Horizons Community Services

961 W Montana

Chicago, IL 60614

312 929 HELP

312 327 HELP (TDD)

Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund

Midwest Regional Office

11 East Adams, Suite 1008

Chicago, IL 60603

312 663 4413

312 663 4307 (fax)

And here is a list of Illinois gay resources:

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