A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for a year now and every time I ask him what's up with us he tells me he doesn't know, he always tells me that he doesn't know me well and he's still getting to know me. What do you think I should do?. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Okay, no, I'm sorry Anon below me but making a guy jealous is the most passive aggressive and wrong, and HURTFUL thing a person can do to another person.
Please, listen to me and do NOT take anon's advice. Doing things to deliberately make that person jealous is SOOO not healthy...it will end up causing so many problems. It's the exactly wrong thing to do in this situation.
Being direct and honest, and RESPECTFUL to this person is the way to go.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): if you really like him and you want a future with him, then you have to make him jealous to gauge his interest in you. if he doesn't care, then move on... there are too many good fish in the sea to be wasting time on someone who's making you swim in circles.
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (12 January 2009):
Yes, you can know someone after a year. However, this man doesn't seem like he wants to be in a committed monogamous relationship, and is using this as an excuse.
If you want a relationship, then I suggest seeking it elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Can you honestly say you really know a person after a year?
If he doesn't know where the relationship is going, from his perspective, than you should think about what you're going to do with your life. Why should you put your life on hold for a guy who is unsure?
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 there are two ends of the closeness spectrum-those who want to spend all day everyday together forever and tell each other everything and those who like distance and mystery and want to lead a life of their own which a relationship might fit into.
i would guess you are the latter and he is the former
OR...
when i was into this guy and he would behave in ways i didn't judge to be good(like not paying rent or ignoring me for days playing on a laptop{while i was in the room}) ,for some strange reason (animal attraction) i would invent implausible scenarios to explain his behaviour in a light that i found positive. these explanations added an air of mystery and depth but the more of the explanations that were invented the less they tied together and i felt like i knew him even less. this was true as i had at every point actively ignored who he was and what he was about.DUH
maybe he has chosen to turn you in his mind into this fantasy template that no human can live up to
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): i think u should get this loser out of your life he id no good for you and he sounds like he is trying to use you one year is a long time to know someone and know if you wants to be with that person and if he doesn't know by now then he never will girl just move on you will find you a man who will know if he wants to be with you and when you ask that question he can answer it.
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