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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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I want to marry him but I am sick of him wanting to know everything about me! How should I deal with this?
Q. hey there friends.. i met a guy a month and half ago, but hes getting too far he want to know everything around me even they way my exes treated me, i told him i am not comfortable with it but he says its nothing big.. if my phone goes off he ...
A. 12 May 2010: after a month and a half you cant know you want to marry someone. if you have already got issues with his behaviour then marriage is bad idea. it sounds like he is possesive and like the two of you have become very attached in a short space of time. ... (read in full...)
How can I eject everyone out of my life?
Q. Hi guys. I have a really difficult question and I hope you can help me. I have the opposite problem to most people. Most people try to attract plenty of friends into their life. But I want to get almost everyone out of my life. I am anti-social a...
A. 12 May 2010: this is the behaviour of depression, go and see a doctor rather than coming on here...... (read in full...)
How do I stop believing that everyone in the world is against me?
Q. For years, I have wondered if everyone is part of a conspiracy to give me a bad life. Now, I don't think that way very often. But occasioanlly, I wonder if I am being persecuted by the female race. I have thought in the past that the world owed ...
A. 5 May 2010: paranoia is a symptom of mental illness and you can have mental illness (of many varieties) with or without aspergers. its not a case of one OR the other, it could be that you have aspergers and a mental illness (maybe depression). it seems to me ... (read in full...)
How is it possible for us to have the same dream when we have never even met?
Q. Me and my girlfriend had the same dream: I was at the airport waiting for her plane to arrive. About 3 mins later a voice came on saying her plane arrived. I ran to the gate and looked around trying to find her. The gate closed and she was nowhere ...
A. 5 May 2010: its possible it happened, also its possible she is lying
but dreams can be very weird and defy time- i have had dreams that have played out weeks later in real life situations exactly as the dream was, in one instance it saved me during a violent ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is selfish with sex!
Q. I'm a 23-year-old gay guy, and I've been with my partner for over three years now. The one major problem in our relationship is lack of sex. My partner never touches my penis, never gives me a handjob, never gives me a blowjob, and never let's me ...
A. 5 May 2010: yeah sounds like a straight guy fucking a gay man in the ass similar to gay men fucking women in the ass. get out now- selfish behaviour and a lack of respect for your need is driving you to risky behaviour and a lack of self esteem... (read in full...)
How do I satisfy my bi-curiosity?
Q. OK so i have recently decided i am very much bicurious. I really want to try sime stuff with a guy but i have not got any bi or gay friends. i really do not know how to approach anyone at all. I did discuss the situation with one of my female fri...
A. 5 May 2010: you live near brighton or manchester? meeting people on the club scene often leads to shallow one night stands, there is always gaydar and other internet sites for this kind of random hook up althought the results can often be disappointing (due to ... (read in full...)
I'm gay and I love my straight best friend!
Q. i'm gay and i love my straight best friend, but he doesn't treat me like that. i always give him clues that i love him but he reacts negatively or doesn't react at all. even my classmates are noticing it but i think he treats me like i don't exist ...
A. 4 May 2010: he doesn't sound interested in a sexual relationship with you and frankly dont let him use you and take the piss. treat yourself with respect, just because he has you wrapped around his finger doesn't mean he loves you back.
stop wasting your tim... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone that I am starting to have feelings for other guys?
Q. Hey I'm going through puberty and I'm only starting though I'm starting to have feelings for...guys! I am seriously starting to freak out I started having feelings for girls but not anymore I don't feel turned on looking at boobs 0% ! I started to ...
A. 4 May 2010: she sounds very curious and at your age all people want to talk about is sex, its all thats on their mind. you are very young to be telling your parents. just ask her to calm down with talking about it. tell her that you aren't totally sure and you ... (read in full...)
Should I go for it despite being unsure if he is gay or straight?
Q. Hello, I am in love with my best friend but he's been in many straight relationships but after looking at everything I think he's gay too but it's against his religon! Well my best friend that was a really nice person that always helped me and wh...
A. 4 May 2010: i think you are seeing what you want to see here- if he has been going out with girls and caught looking at straight porn AND there are no obvious signs of him having a sexual interest in you, it appears you are clutching at straws because you love ... (read in full...)
Should I try and win my ex back or see where it goes with the new guy?
Q. So....last month I came home from work to a "Dear John" letter from my boyfriend of 5 years. He said he has some mental issues he has to work out and doesn't want to hurt me any more. At first he was really mean and spiteful, sending me nasty ...
A. 4 May 2010: why did you two split up? there has to be more to it than "mental issues". it sounds to me like he has treated you with a lack of respect by saying nasty things about you, then when he cant have you he wants you back. sounds like dog in the manger ... (read in full...)
Does it make me gay if I want oral sex with another guy?
Q. i have always considered myself straight. I find the idea of sex with girls extremely arousing. However recently i have been finding the idea of giving ang recieving blowjobs to/from other males. In particular gettting the ejaculate on my face. I...
A. 4 May 2010: Bisexual. if you fantasise about sucking a mans dick and having him cum on your face then you are attracted to men. if you are also attracted to women then in combination this makes you bisexual... (read in full...)
I might be reading too much into this
Q. Hello all, I am gay, and I am having a dilemma. I've searched so many websites, and they all have the same answers for my question. After not finding anything different on the websites, I figured it'd be interesting to receive real opinions from rea...
A. 4 May 2010: Ask him if he likes you? you have to go for it and tell him that you are attracted to him and that you enjoy spending time with him. his reaction will either confirm what you want is the case or it will let you know he is not interested in you in ... (read in full...)
I might be reading too much into this
Q. Hello all, I am gay, and I am having a dilemma. I've searched so many websites, and they all have the same answers for my question. After not finding anything different on the websites, I figured it'd be interesting to receive real opinions from rea...
A. 4 May 2010: Ask him if he likes you? you have to go for it and tell him that you are attracted to him and that you enjoy spending time with him. his reaction will either confirm what you want is the case or it will let you know he is not interested in you in ... (read in full...)
Now he wants to leave a change of clothes at my house! What does this mean?
Q. Been involved with a man now for more than 3 yrs and just recently when he came over to see me asked if he could leave a change of clothes at my house and even asked me if would wash them for him. This something totally out of the blue because the...
A. 4 May 2010: maybe he wants something serious OR maybe he wants a skivvy? you have to ask him to find out. if you have been involved for three years why have you two never considered moving in together? is he involved with someone else? are you just friends wiht ... (read in full...)
Why is he so cold towards me or am I just paranoid???
Q. I have a problem with my bf. Actually, he is not my bf, just, we've been dating, flirting with him for 2 months and we both are accustomed to each other. He lives far far away from me and it's like a "long distance realtionship". We send "good ...
A. 19 March 2010: you need to meet up in the flesh to make sense of things, maybe he wants more than to talk. suggest to him that you meet up.
meet up, make the effort... (read in full...)
I'm a mess (gay, straight, virgin, everything)
Q. I am a total mess and at this point I'm question all my feelings, goals and sexuality. I am 30, very handsome, a virgin. I am physically attracted to very good looking guys and for the last few years I had excepted that I'm gay. The problem is, I ...
A. 18 March 2010: you are drwan to looks because of your lack of sexual experiences-in real life the best looking aren't always thye best in bed or the most satisfying to be with.
you base your desires around fantasies that have never been acted out. if you are ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I am gay!
Q. please help me cos i am very worried about this i am 13 i a am worried that i am gay because i get erections thinking about girls but i get that excited feeling every time i see a man and every time i masturbate it takes me a while to get arouse ...
A. 13 March 2010: you are quite young and things are very unstable with preference during the mid teens, the key is which produces stronger feelings and more satisfaction when you masturbate?
you have your answer (for now...)... (read in full...)
Abusive relationship or not? Should I move on?
Q. Hi, I broke up with my gay lover a few months ago. We were together for 8 years and the relationship was beautiful for the first few years. My lover loved me so much that he gave everything to me, even at the expense of sacrificing a lo...
A. 13 March 2010: everyone is wrong but him, its always your fault or his family or bad luck... does he take responsibility for the outconmes of his actions. for examply if i was driving to fast and couldn't brake in time and hit an old lady it wouldn't be "bad luck" ... (read in full...)
Do girls actually think this way about the penis size?
Q. I was talking with a girl (not a girlfriend) about relationships and stuff and when we were talking about the sexual aspect and stuff about how sex is an important part one, she brought up something about penis size. Well I, being the honest(lol) ...
A. 9 March 2010: my female friend said girth is mor important than length because if its wide she can feel it but then then not... (read in full...)
His borrowing, and gambling are getting to me and yet he has given me money at times...so I feel guilty that I'm upset...
Q. I have been dating my current BF for about 18 months (we do not live together). A little over a week ago he borrowed money from me, telling me he would pay me back today. He brought it up twice over the weekend, saying he will have the money today. ...
A. 9 March 2010: until he stops gambling your relationship will never be stable. when someone is reckless with money long term goals never happen.
i would leave this situation
just because someone gives you money when they have won (which is rare) does not m... (read in full...)
Falling for middle aged men.
Q. (by the way I am a teenage boy)Ever since I was little I've been in love with guys (the same gender). It wasn't normal though. It was always guys in their middle ages (30-50) and a few select of them. I liked guys with beards, rugged features, ...
A. 9 March 2010: two things
1. you keep getting crushes for people you will never get because its less threatening. if it will never happen you dont have to deal with the unpredictable reality of a real relationship
2. you are looking for a father figure in... (read in full...)
In love with my gay friend...
Q. I am in love with my friend (we are both gay men), I met him about 8-9 years ago, on my part it was love at first sight and as I didn't want it to be a one night stand, I decided to get to know him better before 'making my move'....... 9 years later ...
A. 8 March 2010: who cares if it changes things! you only regret what you didn't do and this sounds like it could be a huge regret
let him know how you feel! soon and if it doesn't work out you'll be able to move on (which i know sounds scary but is better i... (read in full...)
To top off a very bad day I think my relationship is over
Q. Hi guys, I've not had a good day. Yesterday I went for an interview to apply for a 3rd year at university. My day started a 7am, from there I had to pick up all my friends who had an interview that day, take my girlfriend home, catch a boat in ...
A. 8 March 2010: she is ridiculous, you need to stop being so whipped.
one one hand even though you had your own interview to worry about you were helping others get to theirs (something that wasn't necessary for you to do)
on the other hand it all about her- i... (read in full...)
Too afraid to ask again.
Q. hey ok me and my best friend are really close but he is straight and i am bi we are both guys and one night he slept at my house and we went for a walk at about 11 at night and he told me that he trusts me heaps then eventually he said that he ...
A. 8 March 2010: your friend is not straight- ask him next time you see him. the boundaries are now broken down so he cant have a negative reaction without looking stupid.
go for it!... (read in full...)
Can a guy man have gay friends? Is it the same as a married man being friends with a single woman?
Q. I am gay and have a boyfriend and he thinks a gay man in a relationship shouldn't have gay friends. To me that shouts insecurity but from his perspective it is a genuine moral standard. Neither of us had gay friends so it never even came up. I ...
A. 8 March 2010: he is afraid you will leave him for other gay friends- if i were you i would feel a bit pissed off that he is trying to control you, there is no reason why you cannot make friends and have a life outside of your relationship. . i guess he doesn't ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can face sex yet
Q. MOD NOTE: Age states 13, but poster stated he is 15. Okay, theres this guy...lets call him Tom. Tom and I have been talking online for about two months, recently we admitted we have feelings for each other. Now, he is 18 and I'm 15, we are plann...
A. 23 December 2009: if this was a guy 18 living far away that wanted a girl 15 to come and live with him and adopt a baby, and that had not yet met in person most people would think that that was a very bad idea for the girl. they would see him as being into younger ... (read in full...)
She's a party girl and I found messages saying I was boring
Q. 32 yr old male here...long story short..been with a girl 9 mo now and i love her deeply..we have been having some issues about her liking to go out alot more than i do and where we are at in our relationship. i recently found an e-mail from her to ...
A. 20 December 2009: you have invaded her privacy 1. you have seen something you dont like 2.
note how you broke standard trust rules first, then blame her even though this would not have happened had you not invaded her email. this kind of behaviour screams posessiv... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance and pursue the high school jock?
Q. I am a gay junior in high school and i have a huge crush on this senior guy in one of my classes. anyways... i started liking this guy when i noticed him more in my class. he is soo cool and sooo nice :) ive only talked to him about twice but i...
A. 19 December 2009: go with your instinct! you will know if its right!... (read in full...)
Is an age gap of 6 years at age 16 and 22 immoral in the UK?
Q. Hi there. I am a gay 22 year old and I live in England. There is a guy who has liked me for months, I've only liked him for a week (before last week I really wasnt interested despite him telling me how much he cares for me as a friend and a romantic ...
A. 19 December 2009: everyone is different do what feels right for you!... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can face sex yet
Q. MOD NOTE: Age states 13, but poster stated he is 15. Okay, theres this guy...lets call him Tom. Tom and I have been talking online for about two months, recently we admitted we have feelings for each other. Now, he is 18 and I'm 15, we are plann...
A. 19 December 2009: wether or not its legal
if you are 15 and talking about adoption it seems you have a strange situation on your hands. to me its not the age but the fact you want to move from your surroundings and social support and network to be with someone you ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know I'm bi, he thinks I'm gay.
Q. Hi Guys!, ok I'm really really worried about a few issues in my life right now. I feel as if I've screwed up majorly and really need someones advice. I'm a bisexual guy, british, but two months ago i moved out to budapest (hungary) for a year...
A. 19 December 2009: relax you are all not cheating on each other- the rules with gay men are often more felxible, remeber men often want sex and thats it. one date doesn't tell you much about a person. you need to develop a gay social network...... (read in full...)
I'm being bullied at school, what can I do? Help!
Q. I'm really scared of going to school at the moment because im being bullied. Facebook people are calling me things and telling me there's a gang after me. I havent been going to school lately, i will just walk out the door and hide in the wood or ...
A. 19 December 2009: you need to let your parents know you are being bullied, i wouldn't say what for, let them know that it is affecting your schoolwork and that you cant concentrate. get them to complain to the teachers that you are missing school because of ... (read in full...)
He offered his ex his spare room should she ever need it! Is this normal?
Q. My boyfriend's ex is down and he offered her his spare room if she ever needs it. Should this weird me out? Because it really does!...
A. 2 December 2009: yeah really taking the piss is this behaviour of playing two women off for attention... (read in full...)
Is his cannabis really any worse than me having the occasional fag socially on a night out?
Q. Hi - really just looking for some opinions and advice. I've recently got back with my high school sweetheart after 5 years apart and everythin is gonig really well, however I've recently learned that he smoke cannais maybe once every one to two ...
A. 3 September 2009: as for the below post by uncle phil, have you got any first hand experience of cannabis besides tv adverts? most people who go loopy off cannabis either had an underlying mental disorder or smoked stupid amounts all the time, bearing in mind that ... (read in full...)
Is his cannabis really any worse than me having the occasional fag socially on a night out?
Q. Hi - really just looking for some opinions and advice. I've recently got back with my high school sweetheart after 5 years apart and everythin is gonig really well, however I've recently learned that he smoke cannais maybe once every one to two ...
A. 3 September 2009: i've done a lot of drugs and cannabis when used moderately and only a couple of times a week is far less harmfull than alcohol consumption. no-one has died from cannabis poisoning yet alcohol kills through liver cirrhosis and accidents due to loss ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not want me to go out or have any friends, he is insecure, what can I do?
Q. My boyfriend probably wants us to break up as he can't handle the fact that I now have a small social life. I am gutted and can't believe this reaction after five years together. I had been unwell and a bit of a loner for the start of our rel...
A. 31 August 2009: this is ridiculous, just go out and have friends. people who want to own you dont care about you, only what needs of theirs you can serve and threats are used to keep their needs fed. you need to do what you want and have a life = simple. if he ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 26 August 2009: the fact of the matter is that you dont like the idea that she could have sex with someone and not get emotionally attached as you might think she will fake emotions with you and move on to the next when something better comes along. at the same ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 26 August 2009: the fact of the matter is that you dont like the idea that she could have sex with someone and not get emotionally attached as you might think she will fake emotions with you and move on to the next when something better comes along. at the same ... (read in full...)
I've gone off women and I'm only having sexual thoughts about men!
Q. I've gone off women. I'm not sure whether I've just 'come into my sexuality' or not but recently, I've gone completely off women and on to men. Sexual thoughts about men started for me a long time ago but only in the background and I pursued va...
A. 26 August 2009: as the other answer below said, dont restrict yourself, be open to opportunities and explore what you think you might like to find out what you want...... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 25 August 2009: dont retract from society, this man is controlling you and tring to limit your life. if he cared about you he would not be tring to own you and control your movements. does any of this make you happy? personally i would retract from him and see how ... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 24 August 2009: part of being in a relationship is listening and while you are trying to give him good advice he isn't listening. he needs to listen to what you are saying (currently all he cares about is how he feels). taking on board what other people are saying ... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 23 August 2009: controlling behaviour by your boyfriend is making you unhappy and he is blaming you for situations he is engineering. his insecurity is sign of lacking trust. why does he lack trust. you should be able to do what you want freely and he should accept ... (read in full...)
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