Like what
he writes?
... Add *oonridge McPhalify to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *oonridge McPhalify a private message | | *oonridge McPhalify's Ratings | |
| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
|
My husband is gay and is seeing my BROTHER!
Q. I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I ...
A. 22 May 2009: good for you stay strong and dont let that user play his violin even once, you deserve a good future!... (read in full...)
Please help I cant stay hard whilst having sex
Q. I am a 18year old boy I am going with my girlfreind now about 6 months we try having sex a lot of the time and 9 time out of 1o when we are havin sex i go soft i dont know what 2 do it is driving me mad and also her mad we have even nearly broke up ...
A. 20 May 2009: sorry if it wasn't helpfull but all the times my mcock was flooping and going down was drug related. try eating a lot of sweet fuit though so you have the energy. men need to relax too, nerves can be unhelpfull so soothe yourself before...... (read in full...)
Please help I cant stay hard whilst having sex
Q. I am a 18year old boy I am going with my girlfreind now about 6 months we try having sex a lot of the time and 9 time out of 1o when we are havin sex i go soft i dont know what 2 do it is driving me mad and also her mad we have even nearly broke up ...
A. 20 May 2009: do you smoke a lot of cigarettes as i found they affected my ability to keep an erection, also if you are under the influence of alcohol or especially stimulants (illiegal) or SSRI antidepressants like prozac or cipramil then it can be difficult to ... (read in full...)
I thought we were so well matched sexually but this is not the case now we have moved in together!
Q. My boyfriend of four years gave a very false impression of his sex drive when we were dating. I had no idea at the time. Now that we are living together and our lives are melded I cop his true sex drive/interest which isn't very much. I was hon...
A. 20 May 2009: people grow out of the honeymoon phase. this is exacerbated by living together. the everyday humdrum of life gets rid of the mystery and with it goes the drive to know more. what you need to do is either spend less time together, or focus on ... (read in full...)
Just friends or does he like me?
Q. So im gay and ive been friends with this guy for about two years. he knows im gay and he used to say he was bi but ive started to pretty much fall in love with him. and it seems like when he found out that i liked him, he decided that he was ...
A. 20 May 2009: years from now you might be together and maybe you will both have gained experience and be more mature. young relationships are often over quickly.
... (read in full...)
My husband is gay and is seeing my BROTHER!
Q. I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I ...
A. 18 May 2009: sorry to be sweary but i have never read a post that has made me this angry yet! what a nasty selfish pair of cowardly men.
shame on those men. they'll get their comeupance though
best of luck... (read in full...)
My husband is gay and is seeing my BROTHER!
Q. I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I ...
A. 18 May 2009: this is an example of people doing whatever they FEEL like and justifying it by claiming that their behaviour doesn't affect others. well judging by how upset you are i'm pretty sure it HAS affected others, not to mention an unkle destroying a ... (read in full...)
Just friends or does he like me?
Q. So im gay and ive been friends with this guy for about two years. he knows im gay and he used to say he was bi but ive started to pretty much fall in love with him. and it seems like when he found out that i liked him, he decided that he was ...
A. 18 May 2009: sound like he has a mature understanding of how feelings and life choices often lead to conflict within your head.
if he gets with you then leaves you're not gonna be happy and neither is he.
i think he does like you but much more than as a t... (read in full...)
Please help - am I losing my mind?
Q. Hi, I am a 37 year old married woman with a good job and an outgoing personality. I enjoy being with people but get so anxious and nervous about going out and meeting them, that I whip myself into a nervous frenzy and usually try to cancel things a...
A. 14 May 2009: my friend whi is bipolar was put on antipsychotics and he lost the ability to get out of bed so stopped taking them
now he runs two nightclubs (for bangor uni) while doing a degree and has a lovely (but unstable) girlfriend and a sucessfu... (read in full...)
Should I be worried or go with the flow?
Q. I am Bi and my gf is straight. We have been dating now for some time, and things are going really well. We are both kinky and enjoy the occasional addition of an extra guy. I know you must be thinking so here we go...Well we have had extra guy ...
A. 14 May 2009: 1. she knows what you are thinking and can read you like a book (being a woman)
2. she probably is but it sounds like she is a very thrill seeking personality that loves stimulation and talking about it might be providing her with stimulat... (read in full...)
What does my ex want from me?
Q. My ex broke up with me several months ago, after several weeks apart he came back and said he wants to work at the relationship, he really missed me and loves me. After a great two weeks together, out of the blue he said seeing me confuses him.. and ...
A. 14 May 2009: this behaviour will chip away at your self esteem and leave you with more baggage to carry than mariah carey's minders.
he gets you to open up and then cuts you dead, repeatedly. how long until you lose the ability to open up completely and this... (read in full...)
How to deal with a bi friend that always lusts after straight guys?
Q. Hi i am 16 and straight but i have problem with a bi friend. He always go after straight guys that have no interst in him but hes so desperate that he'll that he do anything for them. Basically he lets himself be used and got hurt when me and my 2 ...
A. 14 May 2009: he wants what he cannot have...
as a gay myself a huge proportion of gays do not behave as though they are men, and i only find myself attracted to men. this poses a problem. you friend needs to develop better intuition, or trust yours more frq... (read in full...)
Please help - am I losing my mind?
Q. Hi, I am a 37 year old married woman with a good job and an outgoing personality. I enjoy being with people but get so anxious and nervous about going out and meeting them, that I whip myself into a nervous frenzy and usually try to cancel things a...
A. 12 May 2009: as for the professionals helping i have taken their advice with a pinch of salt as their main preoccupation is putting bipolar people on antipsychotics so they lose their drive, personality and sexually charged charisma, then fail to reproduce as ... (read in full...)
Please help - am I losing my mind?
Q. Hi, I am a 37 year old married woman with a good job and an outgoing personality. I enjoy being with people but get so anxious and nervous about going out and meeting them, that I whip myself into a nervous frenzy and usually try to cancel things a...
A. 12 May 2009: i have bipolar and am going through an episode at the moment
depression does not alternate from anxious to joy to despair to rage. you can be in a negative mood up swing-like a bad manic trip. i have friends who have behaved like this and have exp... (read in full...)
Am I really that intolerant?
Q. I have been accused by a friend of being "fatphobic". This is something that's really been bothering me. I consider myself a really tolerant person, and usually dont arrive at an opinion unless I have thought it through very thoroughly, so this ...
A. 10 May 2009: also if you had a phobia of fat people then how would you tolerate that persons company as clearly you would be too nervous and on edge-they are talking rubbish and ignoring their ability to shape their future.... (read in full...)
Am I really that intolerant?
Q. I have been accused by a friend of being "fatphobic". This is something that's really been bothering me. I consider myself a really tolerant person, and usually dont arrive at an opinion unless I have thought it through very thoroughly, so this ...
A. 10 May 2009: no but if you tell fat people they cause it just like smokers with cancer you will find they dont care for that opinion. just cos people dont want to hear that they shape their relity doesnt detract from the truth of the statement. greed... (read in full...)
Partner racist and its really disturbing to me
Q. Hi, I have a problem that is causing me a lot of distress. I've been with my partner for 6 years now, during which time I have supported him through all sorts of problems, including a messy acrimonious divorce. He has always been 'difficult'...
A. 10 May 2009: in a word- BULLY... (read in full...)
Is there any help for people like me out there?
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at the end of my tether. I lost my job in September last year. I worked there for four months after leaving my previous job after five years. The company I moved to was meant to be training me to be one of their ...
A. 8 May 2009: first off what a nasty company you joined up with! in the current climate moving from a stable position is not always the best option but dont beat yourself up as it aint gonna bring back your spilt milk. you are alive and healthy so cherish that as ... (read in full...)
Is there any help for people like me out there?
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at the end of my tether. I lost my job in September last year. I worked there for four months after leaving my previous job after five years. The company I moved to was meant to be training me to be one of their ...
A. 8 May 2009: first off what a nasty company you joined up with! in the current climate moving from a stable position is not always the best option but dont beat yourself up as it aint gonna bring back your spilt milk. you are alive and healthy so cherish that as ... (read in full...)
I'm a guy and I'm in love with another man!
Q. Dear Cupid Org, I am head over heels in love with a guy for a few months now. He works in a drug store in the town I live and I fell in love with him the first time I saw him. I couldn't take my eyes off him which he seemed to had noticed and he k...
A. 8 May 2009: the fact you cant tell people is probably why this attraction feels so strong. talking always lets off steam. maybe if it was less fantasy and you knew more about this (clearly) pyhsically attractive man he would seem less mysterious and you could ... (read in full...)
Is my man gay?
Q. Is my man Gay? I've just found out that my boyfriend of 3 years has been calling a gay chat line every time i'm out of the house. this has been happening for about 5 months. He tells me that he had an addiction to sex chat lines about 8 years...
A. 7 May 2009: his problem is not a gay one but simply a severe addiction to financially draining porn hotlines. why would you want to be with someone who has a compulsion to waste their money. to me a person like that is not a viable long term option. alcohol, ... (read in full...)
Is my man gay?
Q. Is my man Gay? I've just found out that my boyfriend of 3 years has been calling a gay chat line every time i'm out of the house. this has been happening for about 5 months. He tells me that he had an addiction to sex chat lines about 8 years...
A. 7 May 2009: his problem is not a gay one but simply a severe addiction to financially draining porn hotlines. why would you want to be with someone who has a compulsion to waste their money. to me a person like that is not a viable long term option. alcohol, ... (read in full...)
How can I move on from my first love?
Q. First of all Im a bi guy who is in love with a straight guy Hes the one who made me realised that im into guys I know he is straight cuz he got girlfriend.. Theyre both on my class so I see them every day in school which makes me jealous and angr...
A. 6 May 2009: why go after what you cannot have- answer to torture yourself for whatever reason,,,
either you are getting signals off him (he might be hiding himself or just loves the power and attention-hard to tell as i am not you) and your giving them bac... (read in full...)
Facebook about to ruin another relationship?
Q. I would really appreciate people's opinions / advice on this particular dilemma...Nothing new, but I'm sure lots of people have had similar experiences. Damn facebook... Me and my girlfriend (both early 30s) have had some problems lately but we ar...
A. 6 May 2009: if she has any intelligence at all which it MOST certainly sounds like she has then she knows that access would have been left for you and is hoping you will leave her after snooping so during the split she seems like the victim and can feel sorry ... (read in full...)
First time sex for gay and 34
Q. Thinking about it, I guess I was waiting for the right person to do it and the right time. Being me now, at this time, I'm realizing that you just have to go for it if you find someone who wants to be with you.... A little history, I knew I was gay ...
A. 4 May 2009: taking someones innocence is ludicrously arousing (bit of a fantasy of mine). i would tell him but only if you trust him which i'm assuming you do.... (read in full...)
Gay unrequited love problem.
Q. Quick details: 16 years old, 17 in August, England, Currently in college studying IT in hopes of going into industry. I have a case of homosexual unrequited love. He's straight, i'm gay, iv'e felt like this for about 8 months now, except then ...
A. 30 April 2009: everyone here who said they been there has for sure maybe more than once. as a gay you will have this a lot in life (more often than straits) and if you want to be happy and sucessfull you will need to develop very potent coping strategies that ... (read in full...)
Is my roommate gay and has feelings for me? He claims he's straight.
Q. (I'd like to apologize for the wall-of-text you're about to get.) Basically the story boils down to the fact that I could swear a roommate of mine is gay and has feelings for me, but he claims he's straight. I would like to state that I have neve...
A. 17 April 2009: you havent even said if you are gay and interested or creeped out and strait. what do you want from this situation. its hard to advise YOU when you are so focused on the roomate you fail to mention what your needs are.
what do you want... (read in full...)
He might have to move away with his job but I'm very apprehensive to move with him... what do I do?
Q. Hi, I need a bit of help - I'll keep it short. The thing is that my boyfriend is being 'head hunted' for a job that means moving away - and if he goes for it, he wants me to go with him. This means giving up my job, leaving my friends, family,...
A. 16 April 2009: planning your life and where you live around someone else is not a good move. my friend has only just escaped an abusive relationship as its much easier to batter a woman when she has no family to notice the bruises and tears. not saying this... (read in full...)
Electric toothbrush as a sex toy!!
Q. My girlfriend has an old electric toothbrush and she likes to use it as a vibrator on me sometimes. Is it alright for the bristles to be on it while being on my clitoris? ...
A. 14 April 2009: cant you change the heads? then have one for fun and one to brush yer teef and gums!... (read in full...)
Why do I bottle things up?
Q. Hey, so i am 20 years old i've had alot going on in my life since i was about 12, loss of family family fueds so on and so forth, but my main problem is i always keep things bottled up. if something in my family goes wrong or something upset'...
A. 14 April 2009: we all have problems and while talking about them can be helpfull dredging it up on a daily basis can have a negative effect in that we cannot get on with work and dinner and sleeping due to the stress of the feelings involved. therefore repression ... (read in full...)
I'm gay but don't want people to know! How do I convince people that I'm not?
Q. Im 15 and A guy in my class told people that i am gay (wich i am) but i REALLY dont want anyone to know, for now everyone doesnt know forshure but how can i convince them ( lie) im not?...i dont want to be the outcast of my school! ...
A. 13 April 2009: ignore it and act like it doesnt bother you
when people are bothered by accusations it always makes it look like the accusation has truth to it.ALWAYS.
act aloof and uncaring to the max and it will go away over a period of weeks as people ... (read in full...)
I'm interested but he seems 'clueless'! How can I make this clearer, without being obvious? Suggestions?
Q. Ok, so l just told my best friend that l am quote, "interested" in him, but he's completely clueless, and doesn't understand what l'm trying to tell him. l have heard that he's bi, so that's not a problem. l have to be obvious, but not too obvious, ...
A. 6 April 2009: dont judge his reaction too harsh as his feelings might change with time. remeber to keep an open mind. he is simply shocked at the moment. if someone comes on to you in a very direct fashion it can be emotionally intimidating, and this is more the ... (read in full...)
I've become a social outcast overnight and I don't know what to do about it!
Q. Hi please bear with me for a few mins and take the time to read this. The story so far....I was BEST friends with a girl for a couple of years until 5 months ago when I accidentally backed my car into her mail box at her rental property. I apol...
A. 3 April 2009: if she has restraining orders on lots of people i'd steer well clear. good luck in your exams... (read in full...)
I've become a social outcast overnight and I don't know what to do about it!
Q. Hi please bear with me for a few mins and take the time to read this. The story so far....I was BEST friends with a girl for a couple of years until 5 months ago when I accidentally backed my car into her mail box at her rental property. I apol...
A. 2 April 2009: she sounds evil and random.
back away from her and brush off her nasty lies like dust.
speak to a doctor, say you are depressed and explain how you FEEL specifically. this should bag you some time to rest. then recharge your batteries. revis... (read in full...)
I really don't want the doctor to see my private spots, what can I do to calm down?
Q. hey, well my problem is that i have unusually heavy periods and a lot of times i get it twice a month and so my mom decided to make me a doctor's appointment. Cuz she's tired of me complaining about them. My only fear though is that they're going to ...
A. 31 March 2009: relax your breathing and picture a relaxing activity that you do regularly. focus on the visual details of the task and slow down and apreciate the calmness. stay here until you are finished.
this works for phobias of needle's and other things w... (read in full...)
He is really pushing for us to be together 24/7 !!!
Q. I need advice on how to approach my boyfriend so as not to hurt him. We met about 8 months ago; I am having a few doubts about us. I own my own place and he has gradually spent more and more time with me until it has now got to the point that he i...
A. 27 March 2009: anyone who wants all your resources will drain you and nobody can be a well of goodwill forever. seachange?... (read in full...)
He is really pushing for us to be together 24/7 !!!
Q. I need advice on how to approach my boyfriend so as not to hurt him. We met about 8 months ago; I am having a few doubts about us. I own my own place and he has gradually spent more and more time with me until it has now got to the point that he i...
A. 26 March 2009: trying to change someone is very unlikely to ever work to a significant degree and reeks that you are settling with someone who you are not sure of and maybe should not be financially supporting.
give an inch and over the course of months for ever... (read in full...)
When its good its really good
Q. I have always had problems with depression and expressing my emotions. I had a troublesome relationship with my father in my childhood and it seems to have manifested into my adult life as causing me problems expressing how i feel, depression and ...
A. 23 March 2009: his childish attitude is dragging you both down and it sounds like he is incapable of accepting responsibility as he relies on your depressive tendency to accept blame you dont deserve to make him feel that he has no fault in anything.
you k... (read in full...)
Stuck between 2 crushes
Q. Dear Cupid... i am stuck between two crushes... the first guy is a jerk who is only nice when were alone i guess its coz hes got that cool image an his friends hate me but i can really open up to him an talk to him an he always tells me it wi...
A. 19 March 2009: choose the person who doesnt change to suit the crowd! the jerk guy sounds false. does he put you down in front of his mates or act aloof and snappy or too cool for school. then when your on your own he butters you up with compliments. the second ... (read in full...)
Can a man have sex and not feel anything for the woman?
Q. Can a man have sex with a woman if he feels nothing for her or will he always have some sort of attraction? When men have affairs they tend to say its "just sex" - but surely it must be "just sex" with some sort of attraction?...
A. 17 March 2009: every individual is different but as a rule sex is more emtional for women than men. the emotions complicate things and men can quite happily have sex and be detatched while women tend to feel close to the person if the sex is all that.
that ... (read in full...)
Can a man have sex and not feel anything for the woman?
Q. Can a man have sex with a woman if he feels nothing for her or will he always have some sort of attraction? When men have affairs they tend to say its "just sex" - but surely it must be "just sex" with some sort of attraction?...
A. 17 March 2009: every individual is different but as a rule sex is more emtional for women than men. the emotions complicate things and men can quite happily have sex and be detatched while women tend to feel close to the person if the sex is all that.
that ... (read in full...)
| *oonridge McPhalify's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oonridge McPhalify has
added them and they have added *oonridge McPhalify!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
