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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 25 August 2009: dont retract from society, this man is controlling you and tring to limit your life. if he cared about you he would not be tring to own you and control your movements. does any of this make you happy? personally i would retract from him and see how ... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 24 August 2009: part of being in a relationship is listening and while you are trying to give him good advice he isn't listening. he needs to listen to what you are saying (currently all he cares about is how he feels). taking on board what other people are saying ... (read in full...)
Is wanting t be friends with ther gay men a betrayal of my boyfriend?
Q. I am in what feels like an impossible situation. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I never really had many friends but of late have started making them. I am gay and would like to have some gay friends as w...
A. 23 August 2009: controlling behaviour by your boyfriend is making you unhappy and he is blaming you for situations he is engineering. his insecurity is sign of lacking trust. why does he lack trust. you should be able to do what you want freely and he should accept ... (read in full...)
My BF likes to kiss other people.
Q. My boyfriend is great we get along great but he's a heavy drinker (not an alcoholic). We've been dating for 7 months. He's a forgetful person, even more so when he drinks. He really lets lose and has fun when he's drunk but sometimes does things ...
A. 11 August 2009: i dont think your being difficult, it seems like he loses control of his behaviour when he is drunk. you have to think about how this affects your self esteem. if he he cant stop kissing random people when drunk what else is he doing that he's not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is always sad and I can't seem to make her happy!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for just over 2 years now and I am really happy with her but it seems thats my girlfriend is always sad or depressed about one thing or another. She's expressed the desire to be married a bunch of times and we've ...
A. 11 August 2009: sounds to me like your girlfriend is depressed and has made no attempt to look into it. if she only ever puts negative information your way how are you meant to be happy? the point is that when you try to look objectively at things she doesn't want ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my best friend... how do I get past the friend zone?
Q. Hi, I am a 14 year old girl and I am bisexual. My best friend is also bisexual. We recently came out and told each other that we like each other alot. She says she thinks i could be the one.. and i think the same thing about her. She just broke up ...
A. 10 August 2009: well all good relationships are based around a form of friendship, but she needs time for the last relationship to move on. unless she was over it long before it finished. stay as her good friend and keep and eye on anyone trying to gain her ... (read in full...)
Am I bi? Should I just decide one or the other?
Q. Hi again. Ok, so these last few days have been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. I've now fallen out of love with a guy i've longed after for years, and i'm kinda happy about it! I've told a friend i'm a bit confused about my orientation, and ...
A. 28 July 2009: if you fancy both sexes then keep your options open cos you have no idea who you might fall for, but if you are simply saying you are bi so that if people react badly to the fancying men you can pretend it was a phase then that is also not the best ... (read in full...)
We rarely have sex and it's been this way since day one. What should I do?
Q. My problem is my boyfriend, ever since we've started dating he hasn't been interested in sex. We're lucky if we do it once every 2 or 3 months. We've been together for almost 3 years now, and this is something I've been trying to resolve with him...
A. 27 July 2009: leave if he wont talk about it. there is a lack of communication and your needs are not being met. dont cheat just leave. you have a friend there NOT a boyfriend. you might spend all your time together but thats what i do with my friends who i dont ... (read in full...)
I've got hair growing on my bottom!
Q. ok this is quite embarrassing but im sure its normal. but i have har growing on my bottom and i saw my bottom in the mirror the other day when i got out of the shower and it really looked freaky. i was just wondering what should i do about it? ...
A. 27 July 2009: avoid shaving, as stuble is not comfortable (trust the voice of experience here). get over it, not only is it common how often do you have to look at your arse (in other words you have a choice). waxing is a bit weird although trendy (yet again ... (read in full...)
What does being someones pigeon mean?
Q. Would like to know what this phrase means. What does being someone's "pigeon" mean?...
A. 20 July 2009: i would hazzard a guess its a disrespectfull term for women (as birds and chicks are also female based terms). no-one likes the pigeon animal much anyway as its unnattractive, spreads diseases and there are far too many of them. they are often seen ... (read in full...)
Is there still a chance that we can be friends again?
Q. ok, well like new ppl im not sure how to start off. But im 17 and bi, recently i jus told one of my closest male friend that i liked him, i felt that he was that way because we were pretty much close and would tell me personal things and that he ...
A. 18 July 2009: its up to you to talk to him as he hasn't had a problem, the person who's behaviour changed was you but he has gone along with it and as a result the one who can mend this friendship is you. you haven't destroyed anything and if the friendship was a ... (read in full...)
Its always about her and what she wants
Q. Hey all, I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend of about 9 months. My problem is that I get the feeling that it's always about her and what she wants. To give an example, on Sundays, I go to church with her like she wants; and then I go out...
A. 11 July 2009: this stems from her insecurity. she probably has issues with people leaving her and abandonment. if you know that this is going to cause you unhappiness long term and that although people say they will change its often difficult for them to do so, ... (read in full...)
I'd like to hear from lads who've actually received this kind of sex.
Q. I'm a gay lad and my new boyfriend has offered to give me anal intercouse. I've never experienced it but would like see what it feels like. I've read all about it and know it can be extremely pleasurable. My boyfriend says he can give me a ...
A. 3 July 2009: it can be good, but you need lots of lubrication and go slowly. you may have to stimulate your penis while you are being penetrated in the early stages as this allows the pain to turn into sexual feelings. it does hurt but the orgasms you get from ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend dump me as he was scared of commitment?
Q. Did my bf dump me as he was scared of commitment? We'd been together for nearly 3 years and in that time things were mostly great but every now and then he'd bottle it and question whether or not we wanted the same thing. I wanted the wedding, the ...
A. 29 June 2009: butterflies in the stomach will not last forever, its an excitement thing and stable relationships wont always be exciting 100% of the time. anyone looking for excitement will not have it all the time no matter where they look.
if he lost the attr... (read in full...)
It feels like we're incompatible, he doesn't show any affection anymore. Should I stay or go?
Q. Ok, im a guy and im Bi. Im 27. I met my boyfriend who is very closeted eight months ago and he is 21 and very nice and intelligent but immature. I came out of the closet for him and I changed my entire life. He has made almost no changes for me. ...
A. 29 June 2009: this is not a relationship any more, you dont want to have sex with strangers yet he encourages this even though you dont like it. it seems like everything is on his terms. i would end it as you are being treated badly, share nothing in common and ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me make sense of this behaviour?
Q. Hi, I'm hoping for some advice/support. I'm very upset about comments that my partner makes. I've been with him for 4.5 years and gave him loads of support when his ex wife was divorcing him. I live in a council house, have two mixed race c...
A. 24 June 2009: he feeds off your self esteem. you been together 4.5 years but something in you tells you that he is not right for you to live with. his behaviour is that of a bully.
he sounds like a person who will behave in a way that over time will erode yo... (read in full...)
Scared about meeting my guy's friends!
Q. So tomorrow I'll be meeting my boyfriends roomates for the first time. He lives with his best friend of 10 years and his fiance, so it's a little more important than just meeting his friends for the first time, more like family. I'm completely...
A. 23 June 2009: relax and go there with the attitude that you dont care what people think of you but that you are going to be ploite, relax and laugh at what you want to.
dont worry, i'm sure it will be fine. your just attaching unnecessary importance to what is ... (read in full...)
Losing love but stuck living with him.
Q. He started beating into me when we were living at my dads mainly when dad wasnt home, because things just weren't going his way. My dads rule and only rule was its his house what ever he says goes. I understood that and respected that but he didnt. ...
A. 23 June 2009: sorry is not something that people say after doing something bad to get away with it to do it again. it seems this is his tactic
he doesn't respect you or anyone else. this is a bad sign longterm if you think he will change. he acts like a naught... (read in full...)
I don't know why my boyfriend dumped me!
Q. Hi. I really really really need advice. I am so confused and hurt:( My boyfriend and I were together for six months, and it was such an amazing relationship..I genuinely cannot put it into words properly. We met in college and after a while it got ...
A. 22 June 2009: if he really loved you he would not have been able to express it that quick and lose it that fast. it sounds to me like the pair of you were "in love", but that it has faded.
he probably still has feelings for you but they might not be as strong a... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 13 June 2009: see how it works before you congrantulate me and also it helps to have a willy to know how to please one.... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 13 June 2009: uncircumcised the "banjo string" joining helmet to penis shaft feels very good when the tongue slides down it (from just below pee hole down the shaft and the area just below, so if you can roll the foreskin upwards and gently stroke your tongue in ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but have butterflies over another boy
Q. Heyy aunt's and uncles. I feel so bad, and i havent even done anything. I need major advice. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. Im only 16, and hes 17, but where in the same year in school, as ill be 17 in july! He arranged a sup...
A. 12 June 2009: Two thing bother me about this-
:he took your passport? i would not be happy if someone took my passport. you can check that its in date and valid without taking it away from a person (if he was planning to give it to you at the airport without ... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 12 June 2009: you are in america? so is he circumcised or not?
this is important as what will work on one type night not work for the other.
i have specialist techniques... (read in full...)
Should I stay in a marriage that makes me unhappy for the sake of the kids???
Q. So i have been married for 7 years now and, I am finding that everyday i am falling more and more out of love with my spouse. we have 2 beautiful boys together and hate the idea that they may see us not getting along or fighting. My biggest fear is ...
A. 12 June 2009: she wil be able to divorce you on the grounds of your "unreasonable behaviour". also, you say you hate " the idea" of you and your wife fighting-i think the big problem here is that there is no real communication in your marriage.
go to relate a... (read in full...)
Can you suggest if it is fine to trust this Turkish man and go ahead and marry him?
Q. Are Turkish men trustworthy? I am an indian girl sharing a relationship with a 34 year old turkish man who came to india on official purpose (for a period of one year). We met and he expressed his love for me. We have been seeing each other for a...
A. 12 June 2009: go to turkey but dont marry him just yet, see how he treats you within his own culture and within his family. if he loves you he will have patience.
uprooting yourself and removing yourself from everything you know (all your social/p... (read in full...)
If I forgive my ex and take him back, my parents will hate me! Help!
Q. Hi everyone, ok I don't know what to do. I broke up with my bf of almost 3yrs. about a month ago. He liked to "joke" but I called it verbal abuse because I didn't like being called fatty or stupid. He has a temper but has never hit me, he punches ...
A. 11 June 2009: people dont change they just get good at convincing others that they will, that way they can use them in the mean time.
this boy sounds rubbish and not truthful... (read in full...)
Six months is long time for him to be gone. I'm making myself ill just worrying about it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. i am 20 and he is 22. we have a very good relationship, we enjoy each others company and make each other very happy. however there is one problem... at the end of this year he is thinking of going...
A. 11 June 2009: hello, i had this myself when my best friend went away for 6 months. its not so bad, well to be fair it is but only some of the time and most of the time i just kept busy.
maybe he is testing you to see if you are in this for the long haul or ... (read in full...)
Question about morals in today's world!
Q. Hi. Would I be right in saying that if a man and a woman fancy each other and are exposed to each other for sustained periods of time (i.e. months/years at work) then basically they are going to sleep together regardless of whether or not one or ...
A. 11 June 2009: thinking that there is no choice involved in the process of multiple humans engaging in behaviour is very stupid.
let me guess, this attitude stems from a fatalistic idea that we have everything mapped out according to anothers plan and that bad... (read in full...)
Why did she show me a photo of her and her boyfriend kissing?
Q. I recently talked to my ex on facebook and she showed me a picture of her kissing her new boyfriend. Why did she do that ? It's not necessary and she knew it all along that would hurt me. I'm over her I think but I'm jealous that she has a new ...
A. 11 June 2009: she wants you to want her and know you cannot have her. to make yourself happy cease contact as this girl is a tease...... (read in full...)
My husband demands oral sex every morning to relieve stress, creating for me, what can I do?
Q. My husband demands I suck his dick every morning but I dont want to. I am over 50 and cant support myself and remaining kids in house. If I dont, he menaces me. I am sure it is not right for him to demand I blow him each morning, but he feels it ...
A. 4 June 2009: hello demanding that you get a blowjob is not rape.
it is rude and ignorant.
by the logic espoused by a respondent below if i shouted " i want sex" at someone then that equates to holding them down and forcing them into penetration.
dem... (read in full...)
I'm bi and in love with my best friends boyfriend
Q. hi im bi (i think) im in love with my best friend boyfriend he gives me this wierd mixed feeling and i feel uncomftable on monday he was allover me and on tueasday he was soo distance hes just soo weird around me but when i se himm make out with my ...
A. 4 June 2009: what about this question involves bisexuality? pretty much nothing- maybe you get more answers by getting something into an area with less questions even if it isn't relevant to that particular area?
you are a girl and your friends boyfrien... (read in full...)
Why do I question being with him?
Q. Im so confused, im 22 been with my boyfriend 4 years, hes great, always there for me so romantic, loving caring, good job good morals, but ive broken up with him 3 times before as i wanted to play the field as i got with him so young and he was my ...
A. 4 June 2009: you have a good thing but maybe because you got with him so young that it will always feel like you have missed out. if someone is right for you although you will get doubts you wont repeatedly dump him( that shows you dont have enough repect for ... (read in full...)
My husband demands oral sex every morning to relieve stress, creating for me, what can I do?
Q. My husband demands I suck his dick every morning but I dont want to. I am over 50 and cant support myself and remaining kids in house. If I dont, he menaces me. I am sure it is not right for him to demand I blow him each morning, but he feels it ...
A. 2 June 2009: when do you recieve your oral sex from him? is it morning or evening?
i love oral sex more than my own face, and by god do i love my face. it makes a person feel good and should be a special treat on offer to reward good behaviour, not breakfas... (read in full...)
My husband demands oral sex every morning to relieve stress, creating for me, what can I do?
Q. My husband demands I suck his dick every morning but I dont want to. I am over 50 and cant support myself and remaining kids in house. If I dont, he menaces me. I am sure it is not right for him to demand I blow him each morning, but he feels it ...
A. 2 June 2009: when do you recieve your oral sex from him? is it morning or evening?
i love oral sex more than my own face, and by god do i love my face. it makes a person feel good and should be a special treat on offer to reward good behaviour, not breakfas... (read in full...)
How can I get past the touching phase onto something more?
Q. Im a gay guy that hangs out with mostly straight guys. Im in a situation that im having feelings with one of my straight guy friends. He has a girlfriend but whenever we hang out he likes to watch porn. He knows i like him and allows me to give him ...
A. 1 June 2009: alcohol can in my experience make straight men receptive to gay sex-i'm gay and find i get desire for women when drunk, this is a common effect among both sexes. he just likes taking the piss it seems and you like letting him.
he probably thinks t... (read in full...)
Why is alcohol so popular? Can it help me become less... shy?
Q. it seems like everybody nowadays loves alcohol. i've never consumed it. can you tell me why it is EXTREMELY POPULAR? also, will drinking alcohol help me socially b/c i'm one of those shy, insecure people and i was wondering if having a drink or...
A. 30 May 2009: alcohol makes people more uninhibited BECAUSE it makes them feel good and literally makes the judgement part of the brain slowly shut down as though its becoming asleep, it makes people STUPID and frankly quite unattractive.
there is nothing ... (read in full...)
I'm sure we are both straight but everyone tells us we act like a couple!
Q. We've been best friends since high school and now we are in our last year at 6th form, getting ready to leave for uni. All our friends say we flirt with each other way too much and act like we are a couple. Even though we or so i think are both ...
A. 27 May 2009: i think drugs are an excuse in this case. its difficult to say though as people can have a change in sexual preference under alcohol (moreso than any other drug i have tried though coke does make you very horny). i am gay but fancy women when drunk. ... (read in full...)
He wants to get married, but I question his motives
Q. I'm a young parent. My daughter is a year and half. I'm 6 months pregnant with my second child. They don't have the same dad. The guy I'm dating has talked about wanting both the kids to have his last name. He wants to get married soon. He even ...
A. 23 May 2009: if you feel things are not right go with your gut. maybe he wanted to get married to his ex and thinks that marriage is what equals happy. also if you are only in the stage where you term it dating its very creepy to be talking of marriage. talk ... (read in full...)
He's addicted to porn, boring and I'm sick of it!
Q. I have been married for 3 1/2 years and already feel as if I made one big mistake :-( My husband is EXTREMELY boring in every sense of the word. He does not stimulate me at all. His conversation is one and only one topic and even with that topic ...
A. 23 May 2009: surely he didn't change overnight, what drove you to marry this man in the first place? if we kew that we could give you a better opinion. it sounds to me like he makes no effort to do fun things.... (read in full...)
When he wants more sex, he just texts me for it...I don't like it!
Q. So I've been hooking up with this guy on and off, and sometimes he doesn't live up to his word and doesnt show. Sometimes after we have sex, he doesnt talk to me for a while or we get into a huge fight a few days later. and then when he wants more, ...
A. 23 May 2009: this is chiping at your self esteem and although he clearly likes shagging you it seems he doesn't like you as a person.
when something hurts dont put yourself into the painfull position. he doesnt respect you and could be spreading any number o... (read in full...)
Help! I really want to go but I don't know how to tell my mum, and what their reaction will be...
Q. Ok.. well I really need help, I'm gay, my parents know and all they're not happy but they cope with it... Anyway I met some boy online and he asked me on a date, I really want to go but I don't know how to tell my mum, and what their reaction will ...
A. 23 May 2009: its just a tacky way to explore things as their picture can be old or maybe they smell and that fails to come through in a photo. if you been talking to them for a long time meet them in town in public for coffee and tell a friend (who can watch ... (read in full...)
My husband is gay and is seeing my BROTHER!
Q. I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I ...
A. 22 May 2009: good for you stay strong and dont let that user play his violin even once, you deserve a good future!... (read in full...)
My husband is gay and is seeing my BROTHER!
Q. I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I ...
A. 18 May 2009: sorry to be sweary but i have never read a post that has made me this angry yet! what a nasty selfish pair of cowardly men.
shame on those men. they'll get their comeupance though
best of luck... (read in full...)
My husband is gay and is seeing my BROTHER!
Q. I found out my husband is gay a while back but although i moved out we were still very close and we have 5 children one who is disabled, but 3 weeks ago my brother turned up and they started a relationship straight away and moved in together! I ...
A. 18 May 2009: this is an example of people doing whatever they FEEL like and justifying it by claiming that their behaviour doesn't affect others. well judging by how upset you are i'm pretty sure it HAS affected others, not to mention an unkle destroying a ... (read in full...)
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