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I'm gay, he's straight (he says)..I want to make a move

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 January 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2010)
A male United States age 22-25, *tarStruk writes:

okay, in order for me to avoid sounding like an idiot. i should explain. I'm gay, and I've fallen for a "straight" boy. We'll call him Sea.

Sea dated a good friend of mine once, a girl. but he told her he was bisexual. he know kind of denys it. He knows I'm gay, and he knows i REALLY like him. He still talks to me, and were pretty good friends. he tells me hes straight, but hes experimented before.

He dosn't act straight either, if i didnt know better i would automaticly assume he was gay. He has a girlfriend now, but its not going to work, and i know it. I want to know, If i should make my move. and how? I dont know what to do. I want to be with him, and i think it could work, but i dont know how to make my move without ruining our friendship. please help?

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A male reader, TheUnEazyLyfe United States +, writes (12 June 2010):

TheUnEazyLyfe agony auntWell, If you ask me about the situation....I Take it that he's unsure about sexuality but at the same time he has a hint of what he wants (if that makes sense), but he's afraid to come out (who knows why). I think he's silently giving you hints that he's gay. Since you already have the feeling that he is, he will need someone like you to help him embrace his sexuality (you know, let him know its ok to feel the way he does) then he will no longer have to hide. So by you making that first move..... it good be beneficial to your friend and you,

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009):

I think he's trying to let you down easy. He wants to be straight. He likes girls!

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A male reader, StarStruk United States +, writes (1 February 2009):

StarStruk is verified as being by the original poster of the question

StarStruk agony auntOkay, so this is a follow up to the original question.

Sea has proceeded to confuse me extreamly. He posted a survey thing...you know the ones.

"Would you...date me?

Stay the night with me?" questions similar to that. well anyway, I was bored and filled it out and sent it back to him, saying that I only anwsered it because i was bored (which wasn't the truth.) and sorry if it freaked him out.

He replied and told me it didnt bother him at all, but it did make him think a little.

I was confused about it for a little while, so i asked him what he ment. and he told me that he had started thinking about doing "things" with me. He told me he was curious about what it would be like.

I was shocked, I always suspected he was bi, or somthing. But this almost made my head explode.

He said the only reason he wouldnt do anything with me is because,

1. He has a semi-girlfriend, and

2. He knew it would tear me apart if we didnt grow into anything more than friends.

I know i cant do anything now because he has a girlfriend, but after that...what should i do? Im so confused, because i feel like I love him, like I could do somthing none of his "girlfriends" couldn't. I dont know if thats true or just me being stupid. But im so confused. I want him to try, even if it dosn't turn into anything... I want him to be happy, and I want him to know ALL his options. So I want him to try, not just for me but for him to.

I dont know what to do? advice is loved.

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A female reader, scorpian lady United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2009):

I think you should take a step back. If this guy wanted you, you'd know by now. Sometimes being too obvious that you loike someone acally makes them steer clear. It's as though they know they can have you so just keep you hanging. Get on with your life act as though you are over him and he may come running.

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2009):

i would make sure that he does go for guys and girls before you even make a move. you need to be certain, otherwise you will end up getting hurt and he may feel embarrassed.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntwether someone acts in a way that is percieved as gay would not for me be an indictaor to make a move. i would only risk it if you keep getting the feeling that he is attracted to you consistently. good luck.

only you can tell

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009):

I think you should wait, if hes with somebody else, thats his choice, and you dont know for definate that it wont work. But you should speak to him, and see what he says. If they do split up, then make a move.

Hope this was of use

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