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I don't wanna be seen as coming between best friends.

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I am very much in love with my boyfriend however there are a few things which really upset me and I don't know how to approach him on these issues as I don't want to lose him.

He would rather go out with a load of people and get drunk on valentines than spend it alone with me doing something nice.

Also when we are out he and his best female friend appear to be together, I know he never would, being gay but I think she fancies him cos she is always all over him when drunk and will push me a way and kiss him, with tongues. He doesn't resist. I have been told they always have done this but it hurts me and I feel and look like an idiot when it's happening in front of me especially when we are in a three and I am not all over him as to not make her feel unwanted. I know nothing more will happen but it upsets me, I also like the girl when she's sober but when she does this it annoys me and it annoys me that he does nothing, I don't wanna confront him because I don't wanna be seen as coming between best friends. What should I do?

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A male reader, theambassador United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2009):

I suspect that your boyfriend and his female friend have been friends for a long time - possibly before you arrived on the scene (although correct me if I'm wrong).

A lot of girls including some of my own girlfriends quite often kiss me when we are out having a good time, even when my boyfriend is there, there is nothing sexual in it at all, more shock value than anything and for straight girls it is often just a safe way of having fun and knowing that it won't lead to anything, but I do think it is harmful if someone is being hurt by this behaviour, namely you.

It may be time to speak to your boyfriend about it although best done in a non-confrontational manner of course and tell him how it makes you feel seeing him kissing his girlfriends this way, and hopefully once he sees how much it upsets you he'll discourage his friend from parking her lips on his face.

Best wishes.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009):

It sounds like your boyfriend, if you want to call him that is just as confused as you. You need to be you, Take control and ask him out. firstly as a friend with other people. and slowly progress

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (28 January 2009):

yum yum agony auntIn these circumstances you should talk to you boy friend about this. You are in a relationship and he should be loyal to you if he really loves you. You must clearly tell him that you will not tolerate him flirting and kissing with other people, thats simply not done when you are in a relationship. If he cannot respect that you should break up with him, even if it sounds harsh since he could end up hurting your feelings. If he respects you he should back off from any advances that people make to him.

Respect is the minimum that you can ask for in a relationship. Take care!

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntwell if he was not gay and was strait and she was another man who was gay this would not be socially acceptable. its not on. if you are in a relationship you DONT kiss someone else wether or not you find them attractive, you just dont do it.

its very immature and childsih not to mention rude. sounds like your boyfriend likes the attention this behaviour causes you to give. its nice of you and shows a more adult character that you are not all over him so that she doesn't feel left out, and then the two of them have to rubbyour face in it for a cheap laugh. not very nice...

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