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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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Since my boyfriend's family know of my genital herpes, I'm not allowed at their house, what can I do?
Q. So, I'm pretty sure I have genital herpes. I told my boyfriend this when we first started dating (5 mo. ago) and that I don't get breakouts often (2x in 6 years). He was okay with it, but told his brother (without me knowing) because I guess he ...
A. 17 July 2010: what a pathetic behaviour on the part of your boyfriends family, they seem to not understand this situation properly. for one herpes is very similar to cold sores, also to shun you because they might cathc a disease off you- would they do this to ... (read in full...)
He's now told me to "stop hassling him". Any suggestions?
Q. Hi, I met this bloke 3 months ago on a training course and we hit it off straight away. He told me he was married, but they are separating and the house is up for sale (I know the house is for sale as my friend lives near him and the sign is ...
A. 16 July 2010: yeah- getting together with someone who is in a relationship is never a good plan.
when men say they are leaving their wife they usually aren't.
calling up their house must have alerted the wife to you- bad move
you can do better so move on... (read in full...)
Is he just going through the motions to keep me close and have a potential sugardaddy?
Q. I'm a single, successful single company manager and have been seeing a 23 year old guy for about a year. He's cute, bright, charming and i enjoy our time together a lot. In spite of my initial hesitation because of our age gap (... and don't give me ...
A. 6 July 2010: essentially he is a prostitute that you pay to satisfy his sexual desires. something is not right about this.
break it off with him as the sex is crap and he's ripping you off with a loads of twadle. how do you even know he has all these family r... (read in full...)
Can I get far in psychology?
Q. hi, ive just finished my A-Levels and am waiting for my results. i have predictions of: A for psychology C business studies E music technology i do have a mixed bag of grades but i have a great passion and have over 90% average exam perf...
A. 3 July 2010: what i meant was both a first and a 2:1 can lead to a masters, though the floodgates seem to be opening up to masters these days...... (read in full...)
Can I get far in psychology?
Q. hi, ive just finished my A-Levels and am waiting for my results. i have predictions of: A for psychology C business studies E music technology i do have a mixed bag of grades but i have a great passion and have over 90% average exam perf...
A. 3 July 2010: a first (2:1) will allow you to get a masters, and then to go further. getting a first is very difficult.
i have a 2:2 in psychology and have found getting work related to it to be difficult. there are simply too many people with that degree (... (read in full...)
Gay guy in relationship with divorced guy with grown up kids
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 years, we have never lived together and there is a 21yr age gap. I am 43. He used to be married and has two grown up kids in their early 30s, both in straight relationships, one with a kid of their own. ...
A. 1 July 2010: the problem is you two both live far away from each other- kids will always come first and if you cannot accept that you dont have to be in this relationship.
the physical distance is related to the emotional distance... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a real chance with winning his heart if he isn't over her?
Q. My friend was with his first girlfriend for six months from september 2008 up until march 2009. He kept telling us about how awful the relationship was after the first couple of months and to this day he still talks about it. All of his relations...
A. 20 June 2010: seems odd that all his girlfriends were "psycho's" maybe he isn't the type to enjoy relationships, or maybe he pushes girls away. either way to compare your breasts to his ex girlfriends is at best a clumsy atempt at a compliment, at worst an ... (read in full...)
Everyone is laughing at me because I was set upon totally unawares...
Q. Me and two girls were playing strip poker in the basement of a party and we were getting down to no clothes. The two of them lost their bras and then they decided I should lose my shorts, cause that is all I had left. So they tackled me and one sat ...
A. 18 June 2010: this is weird and creepy and sounds like an ineffective form of sexual assault... (read in full...)
Can someone on meth really love anyone?
Q. Does a person on meth feel bad for things they have done wrong? If on meth do you black out and for get things you do or later remember and regret? If doing Meth and hurt your loved ones does the drug make you not care? Educate me please and tell...
A. 17 June 2010: amphetamines are addictive and have a large capacity to make the users thinking VERY illogical. i used to be hooked on speed and it was horrible, your normal feelings are replaced at first with energetic euphoria but later down the line you cant ... (read in full...)
I want to get out of an abusive relationship
Q. I have been in a relationship and living with my boyfriend for the last 7 years,he is 30 I am 24. the past 3 years have been a living hell, he makes my life well miserable. he is rude, mean, selfish and arrogant towards me and other people, inc...
A. 13 June 2010: just move back in with your parents for a short time if possible and have them come round to collect your stuff with you and then cease all contact with him forever.
make this move quiclky and after a time at home you will find your own place an... (read in full...)
She gets mad because I don't agree with her
Q. I don't know what to do. My gf gets mad whenever I don't agree with her. She looks at it in a disloyal way although I'm just trying to say my opinion. I told her, if she wants to be with someone who always agrees on her opinion, she should just get ...
A. 8 June 2010: she sounds nasty and bullying- get out now. anyone that puts me down is shown the door pretty soon.
you can do better... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got drunk and took her top off with a group of other people. Should I be worried??
Q. My girlfriend and I recently attended my best friends wedding. After the reception, everyone was pretty drunk. And myself along with several other people (two who were good friends of mine) continued drinking and partying in the hotel (we had the ...
A. 7 June 2010: i honestly dont think its that big of a deal. it might not seem that clever but they were all drunk and it sounds more drunken silly than sexual. if she cant remember doing it then she was probably very intoxicated and so this is likely to be a one ... (read in full...)
Felt completely excluded among my b/f's colleagues; they made me feel like a loser
Q. Hi guys! This is a social-relationship question, and I appreciate all comments and suggestions :) Last night I joined my boyfriend and a few of his work colleagues at a bar in the city for "Friday night drinks". I wish I stayed at home! ...
A. 5 June 2010: its simple- these people mean nothing to you and you mean nothing to them. you are merely a plus one, and that is how the situation makes you feel. also if people are drinking and you are not, it can be boring and alientating. if you dont enjoy this ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about the secret bank account?
Q. Well my boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and we always talk about everything, we are totally honest but that doesn't mean we agree or we come to a compromise. I am the most financially stable thinker between the both of us, I ...
A. 4 June 2010: if you make the effort to save your money for long term goals then he doesn't need to know about this account. if in a while you both still are at opposite ends when it comes to money then it doesn't look good for the future as spending and ideas on ... (read in full...)
I gave me him my number but he hasn't called. Does he not like me?
Q. So there was this shy guy at school who I had a class with. And throughout the school year we developed somewhat of a friendship (as in we sat/talked to each other everyday) but to me (and it still does...it felt not like a conventional friendship.) ...
A. 4 June 2010: well its only been five days- do you have his email, or facebook? try and find out his number from someone else...... (read in full...)
Ex may have non-consentual indecent photos of me.
Q. Hi. My problem is this. I was with my ex for 7 years. Last April he left to be with someone else. Now he wants me to sell the house to give him money. Things have gotten a bit nasty but the other day he e-mailed me to say he had 'found' his old ...
A. 2 June 2010: just dont sell the house, it was a bit silly putting his name on the deeds but if he hasn't contributed any payments to it then i dont see how he is entitled to half of it. surely he would only be entitiled to what he put into it wether his name was ... (read in full...)
Ex may have non-consentual indecent photos of me.
Q. Hi. My problem is this. I was with my ex for 7 years. Last April he left to be with someone else. Now he wants me to sell the house to give him money. Things have gotten a bit nasty but the other day he e-mailed me to say he had 'found' his old ...
A. 1 June 2010: keep all records of these interactions and go to the police. DONT sell the house. this man is a massive twat. get more of these emails if you can and tell the police.... (read in full...)
Is our relationship over...?
Q. I have been in a gay relationship for 1year, and my bf has been going thru a difficult time in terms of his boss cutting down on staff, pay cuts etc, so we have not had the life of luxury we once had as we are both ;living from pay cheque to pay ...
A. 1 June 2010: why do you still love someone who has hit you and insults you? that should be the question. clearly you love him but his behaviour is no good for you and you are probably going to be happier in the long term without an abusive partner. did he take a ... (read in full...)
Am I a tramp?
Q. I've been a very bad discusting person well i think so anyway :( ive had sex with two boys in the space of a month, and other sexual acts with them too spreading over 5 months im just realising now that i feel nasty and horrible, im sucha tramp...
A. 31 May 2010: you're not a tramp but you probably didn't like those boys as much as you thought. stop beating yourself up about it and wait next time before making any quick decisions on sex.
good luck... (read in full...)
We broke up, got back together but he doesn't treat me right now1
Q. My boyfriend and I just got back together,after a two month break. I don't drive,and sometimes it's hard to hang out. This Friday,I asked him if we were hanging out, and he responds with, "Umm I dont know?".."What are we going to do?" As if it ma...
A. 31 May 2010: you need to learn how to drive. clearly he is getting fed up as you lack independence. in order to be free to make you own choices without having to consult and rely upon him (which takes control away from you) you need your own transport. maybe he ... (read in full...)
Aprehensive about moving with my boyfriend..and now starting to consider getting back with first love who is still keen..
Q. Hi,I have been in a long distance relationship for the past two years plus but recently my ex-boyfriend has gotten back in contact with me and told me he has feelings for me and he knows I have a bf but he asked me think about getting back with him. ...
A. 28 May 2010: dog in the manger syndrome! your ex boyfriend is the dog that doesn't want the manger but if anyone else sits in it he wants it back.
dont trust this man
he only wants you because you are with someone, and its probably an ego boosting activit... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to request he doesn't contact her on our romantic break
Q. I'm going away for the weekend with my boyfriend. He told me to bring a pen to write postcards with. He has a female friend whom he used to be in love with before he met me, and I know he will want to send her a postcard, he sent her one a year ago ...
A. 28 May 2010: he treats her better than you is the essence of what you are saying. if that is how you feel why are you in this relationship. you are meant to be going on holiday but you seem filled to the brink with resentment which is not a good emotion to hold ... (read in full...)
Should we know each other's password?
Q. my 5 yrs bf and me were really cool abt facebook. he gave me his facebook password and i gave him mine. i never had any prob with that. but he used to surf my profile and got angry with some guy leaving msg.bhe yelled at me. i initialy used to visit ...
A. 27 May 2010: no, you should within a relationship, have your own privacy. to have no privacy in a relationship is for both partners to be too needy in the same way. you should retain a level of mystery at times and have trust in each other. to me if someone ... (read in full...)
Why can't I say no?
Q. Ok so me and this guy used to like each other. I didn't do anything with him and rejected him and that caused his feelings to get hurt at the time i did not care. Back then he would have bought me anything i asked and do anything i asked this was in ...
A. 27 May 2010: he is a user- if your friendship revolves around you buying him stuff and he wont return the favour then he is a user and is using you to get him stuff. i would distance myself from this person because he cares about his needs and not yours.
frien... (read in full...)
I haven't had a period for five months
Q. i am 13, i am not sexually active, i am not pregnant, i am stressed, i am underweight, i have been on a diet recently, i excercise daily for about 1 hour, i am low in iron, i am weak, and i missed my period for about 5 months now... my friends are ...
A. 26 May 2010: if you have been starving yourself to lose weight (dieting) then your body will reach a point where it is not capable of sustaining a second life (baby). this is syptomatic of very low weight/poor health and if you havn't had sex it makes sense your ... (read in full...)
Should I be content to be the mistress?
Q. I am having an affair with a married man for 5 months now. He is older than me and has 3 children. I work with him for about an hour twice a day. We knew each other for over a year before anything happened. It started out as a bit of fun but ...
A. 25 May 2010: no, you should not be content with being his bit on the side but expecting him to leave his wife is unrealistic. he has kids with her and you are younger than him, so you will want different things out of life. this doesn not mean you should accept ... (read in full...)
Got fired because my ex married the boss
Q. Years ago I dated a woman for a little while and then we broke up. We were only together for a few months. We did not stay in contact. I had a job working for a small company for ten years. In all that time I have seen a lot of people come and ...
A. 20 May 2010: sue his ass, that is unreasonable and probably illegal. get some money out of the asshole, and do not go round to threaten him or beat his up as it wont look good in court which is where you should take this.
talk to a lawyer now... (read in full...)
What's the best way to leave someone you love but who constantly puts you down?
Q. I love my wife dearly, i would do anything for her... Sometimes she's this angel I love and adore so much and is so nice to me but the next minute she critisizes everything I do and puts me down, questioning me all the time, putting words in my ...
A. 19 May 2010: if she makes you feel like crap, why do you stay with her? it sounds like she is an overbearing bully. are you tied together in the house? is there some finanacial reason you cannot leave-is it possible if you two split that you could keep the ... (read in full...)
At my wit's end with my copy-cat friend! Help!
Q. Hi there. There is more a friendship then relationship question. I'm 21 years old and have known my friend since grade 9 (7 years). We were best friends for 2 but when she became anorexic/bulimic and I tried to help her while everyone else wa...
A. 19 May 2010: to marieclaire, no i am not but i have experience in life with borderline people and this reminded me of it. simple as. maybe she doesn't have it, but the needy attention seeking and mega clingy drama overload seem to point towards that kind of ... (read in full...)
I"m gay but engaged to mentally ill woman--how do I end things with her?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my now fiancee for a decade, within the first 6 months she was having a hard time. She would constantly start crying and become very sensitive, not over anything that i did, but when something happened at work or ...
A. 18 May 2010: leave her please. your life should not exist simply to please others, keep her as a friend and leave it at that. it sounds to me like you NEED a life of your own. having someone be dependent on you can make you feel needed and wanted but really its ... (read in full...)
Gay guy interested in someone who is straight, and keeping him away from a girl he's interested in
Q. So, im gay, straight acting, outed to everyone, and have had serious relationships with guys. but for the last few months ive had strong feelings for a straight friend who lives a few doors down in uni halls, ive tried to get over him because i know ...
A. 18 May 2010: let them get together and get over him, he doesn't sound like he's interested in you due to the lack of any evidence of attraction that you have shown. how long have you been in halls of residence? at most you have had a crush on him for under a ... (read in full...)
Since my friend came out I've been wondering if I'm gay too
Q. ever since my frend had came and told me that she was bi sexual i have been haveing weard feelings. this mad me think about being gay and now that i got the idea in my mind i cant get it out i keep fatiscizeing about gay sex. im not shure if its ...
A. 18 May 2010: if its only a recent thing then i think its just that this subject happenes to be topical in your life and you see an opportunity for exploration. if however you were having fantasies of gay sex long before your friend came out then that sounds like ... (read in full...)
At my wit's end with my copy-cat friend! Help!
Q. Hi there. There is more a friendship then relationship question. I'm 21 years old and have known my friend since grade 9 (7 years). We were best friends for 2 but when she became anorexic/bulimic and I tried to help her while everyone else wa...
A. 17 May 2010: she screams boderline personality from a mile away. the only reason why you are finding her so manipulative is because you are letting her be. get a life outside her, meet up with other friends or if you are being stifled but have no one else to ... (read in full...)
I don't get turned on by girls but I want to get married some day in the future! What is going on with me?
Q. Ok so im 13 and im soooo worried of being gay! I dont get attracted to girls only guys (i get crushes on girls but im sexually attracted to boys), and it doesnt help that i go to an all boys school, i really dont want to be gay (not that i have ...
A. 16 May 2010: while you are indeed young, i myself at one stage wanted to get married but then i realised that as my feelings for men hadn't changed over a long time there was no point lying to myself. you need to wait a while before you can know what your ... (read in full...)
I'm living in a fake happiness! I'm depressed and I cant get over him, help!
Q. I need help getting myself out the biggest mess/fantasy world of my life! Im truely in love with a friend of mine and i cant snap out of it. Im lost without him, the thought of him being with anyone else tares me apart. I can't be happy anymore, i ...
A. 16 May 2010: when love doesn't work out it can be depressing but that is why you have to make a go of it with him, or at least know for definite if he is not interested. you need to push for this situation to be resolved, i wouldn't say you are depressed i would ... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a time warp. Is anything ever going to change?
Q. Every time someone tries to help me, I throw it back in their face because I am disappointed with everything that's happened to me in the past. The worst years of my life was from the ages of 14 to 19. The years 1994 to 1998 were bloody terrible....
A. 14 May 2010: being unable to ignore negative memories is a symptom of depression- go to a doctor. if you dont seek medical help you may find it difficult to solve the problem yourself. go to see a doctor. we can give you lots of answers but you need to look into ... (read in full...)
I'm living in a fake happiness! I'm depressed and I cant get over him, help!
Q. I need help getting myself out the biggest mess/fantasy world of my life! Im truely in love with a friend of mine and i cant snap out of it. Im lost without him, the thought of him being with anyone else tares me apart. I can't be happy anymore, i ...
A. 14 May 2010: my god you have to talk to him and find out how he feels! to snap out of this fantasy put the steps in to make it a reality. first of all you need to tell him that although you are good friends that all the flirting that used to happen has made you ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for wanting someone else despite being in an open relationship!
Q. ive been in an open relation with my boyfriend for a few months now and even though it is an open relationship i feel guilty for wanting someone else. im flirting with another guy that im madly and truelly in love with and i keep getting a really b...
A. 14 May 2010: well
it sounds to me like you do not find an open relationship emotionally acceptable, its sounds like an idea that was thrown in the air to save your relationship after your boyfriend cheated on you. it sounds like you are already beggining to f... (read in full...)
Does this mean he has had his fun and is now done with me?
Q. Basically i have known this guy for about 3 weeks now...we used to text eachother everyday up until we met last thursday for a drink... i went back to his house and left the next morning; amazing night and we both said we felt very relaxed around e...
A. 12 May 2010: he is clearly not as into you as he was at first- if someone doesn't answer their phone, ignores your texts and delete's messages you write on their facebooke wall then they are no longer interested.
did you meet via facebook?
as if so he m... (read in full...)
B/f wants to get more intimate but I'm unsure about it
Q. Im a 16 year old guy. And I'm gay. Me and my boyfriend have been togethr for a while..but now he wants to get more intimate with me. I want to.. but i'm afraid at the same time. What do i do?...
A. 12 May 2010: in america this age is illegal to have sex so watch out especially if your boyfriend is 18 or over cos if you get caught he could end up with a criminal record. personally i think that laws regading age of consent in america are draconian. in the uk ... (read in full...)
I want to marry him but I am sick of him wanting to know everything about me! How should I deal with this?
Q. hey there friends.. i met a guy a month and half ago, but hes getting too far he want to know everything around me even they way my exes treated me, i told him i am not comfortable with it but he says its nothing big.. if my phone goes off he ...
A. 12 May 2010: after a month and a half you cant know you want to marry someone. if you have already got issues with his behaviour then marriage is bad idea. it sounds like he is possesive and like the two of you have become very attached in a short space of time. ... (read in full...)
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